April 18, 2008

The Weeklies #32

The Weekly Contribution to Going Green. I'm about to trade my alarm clock and my lawnmower for a rooster and a goat, respectively. Neither work and I think the low-tech versions would be much more effective.

The Weekly Song. Courtesy of Mia - "My Owen lies over the ocean/My Owen lies over the sea/My Owen lies over the ocean/Oh bring back my Owen to me."

The Weekly Reads. So a porn star walks onto a movie set...no, this isn't a joke. It's actually the premise of one of the new Hard Case Crime novels. Hard Case releases both new and classic pulp mysteries. They're fantastic, light and a whole lot of fun to read. The newest - Money Shot by Christa Faust - is like Kill Bill with a backdrop of porn and not much martial arts and swords. A porn star, thought to have a hidden stash of cash, is left for dead but surprisingly, she bounces back. Not surprisingly, she's pissed and plots her revenge. Cheesy? Hell yeah. But the narrative is well written with a great, wry sense of humor. Definitely worth checking out.

The Weekly Music. You know what might actually be the genius album of the year? Panic! At The Disco's Pretty. Odd. Okay, so I realize I'm way out of their target demographic but when has that stopped me? Combine equal parts post-punk emo and mid-career Beatles and you've pretty much got Pretty.Odd. Sound cool? It is. It's catchy, funny, and smart.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. Joe Simpson - you know, Jessica and Ashley's dad - is pushing the rights to Ashley's first baby pictures. He's trying to unload them for a cool $1 million. First problem, the baby's not around yet. Second problem, Ashley denies she's even pregnant. It must suck when you realize your father is a greedy tool.

The Weekly Observation. You guys feel pretty strongly about Bratz.

The Not So Hypothetical Question. Wasn't yesterday's Bratz issue enough? No, well, here's something to ponder. We're vegetarians and have been for, well, a long time. Why do we own a meat thermometer?

Posted by Chris at April 18, 2008 6:43 AM

Perhaps that meat thermometer is for when you cook that meat for guests. Or, um, perhaps for *other* reasons we shall not mention on this blog.

Posted by: ironic1 at April 18, 2008 6:10 AM

Maybe it's not really a meat thermometer, but a CANDY thermometer! Time to make some candy!!!!

Posted by: coolchick at April 18, 2008 6:45 AM

Schadenfreude: This should not surprise her. If it does, she is a fool. Also, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if it turns out to be a publicity stunt. Her album will be out soon and he's such a whore. I would like to add M*Rod because she is so classless.

Question: Sorry, I can't help you. I'm a carnivore and bought my first thermometer last year.

Posted by: Maria at April 18, 2008 6:52 AM

Did the meat thermometer come with a set of something? I have stuff like that which I never use but keep because somebody might need one sometimes.

Have a great weekend. I love Mia's song. It's much nicer than some of the versions I've heard over the years.

Posted by: ann adams at April 18, 2008 7:00 AM

Joe Simpson not just greedy, but down right evil!

Meat thermometer? Ah well, how'd you know when Owen was ready to be born? That was bad. Let's see....ya got me!

Posted by: Maribeth at April 18, 2008 7:23 AM

I've been thinking about giving Panic! At the Disco a try. Perhaps I will start with that album.

I got squicked out by Joe Simpson the second he started marketing Jessica's breasts. Or maybe when he, you know, reproduced.

Someone already used my clever baby-related meat thermometer theory :(

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at April 18, 2008 7:48 AM

Because subconsciously you want the meat. You crave the meat. It's only a matter of time.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at April 18, 2008 8:13 AM

Because you can never completely forget the yummy taste of meat, and your preparing to revolt against the evil rules of the vegetarian queen?

Posted by: jennifer at April 18, 2008 8:35 AM

Thermometer? For casseroles and brownies? I really only eat meats that swim and don't have fur. Since Jason would put a whole cow in his mouth if he could, I make him prepare all of the beef (gag), chicken (gag), and swine (triple gag) so I only use the thermometer for my casseroles.

Joe Simpson is creepy on so many levels.

I don't really hate or love Bratz (though my daughter having a doll with a thong,um, not so much). Luckily she's into Hannah Montana who is only narrowly trampy.

Posted by: Mymilabean at April 18, 2008 8:38 AM

God, Joe Simpson is gross.

Posted by: Fraulein N at April 18, 2008 8:39 AM

Joe Simpson has always struck me as very creepy.

I am also a vegetarian who owns a meat thermometer. I use it to measure the temperature of water before I mix it with yeast, because if the water is too hot it is bad for the yeast, but if it isn't warm enough, some other thing happens (no, I don't know what. I just know I have to avoid it.)

Posted by: bad penguin at April 18, 2008 8:48 AM

To up the schadenfreude ante on that one - no magazine is willing to give him even close to the $1million he's asking. Last report I read (not that I follow this story closely but I read it on Idontlikeyouinthatway.com) was that the top offer so far is $60K. Nothing like learning the hard way that no one cares about your tramp daughters or the contents of their uteruses no matter how much you try to pimp them out.

Posted by: donna at April 18, 2008 8:53 AM

We own a meat thermometer so that my non-vegetarian husband can cook a turkey for Thanksgiving. Like bad penguin, I use it to check water temperature during bread making.

I dunno why you own one.

Posted by: Alias Mother at April 18, 2008 9:14 AM

I think we've established that Joe Simpson is a tool. And an asshat. And a creepy perve.

And in other Schadenfreude - Ivana Trump married a 35 year old dance instructor. But really it's true love - it has nothing to do with her money ;)

I love Mia's song - that's a keeper to have on video.

Posted by: Jules at April 18, 2008 9:51 AM

I wonder what search engine requests will link you to meat thermometer now.

Leave it in the mailbox and see how long it lasts there.

Posted by: jessica at April 18, 2008 10:12 AM

But a goat would be soooo cool!

And at some point, I was singing "My bonnie lies UNDER the ocean..." and I thought, huh, that song is really really odd.

As for the meat thermometer, perhaps it's to test the temperature of your tofurkey? ;-D

Posted by: oakley at April 18, 2008 10:28 AM

I'm personally gunning for chickens in our yard (excellent insect control w/o all the nasty pesticides). :-P

Thanks for the album rec, will have to check that out.

Posted by: Kimberly at April 18, 2008 11:05 AM

You could use it to make sure the tofurkey's done so that you don't get food poisoning. Or Mia might be singing, "My daddy barfs over the ocean...."

OK, I don't know if you could get food poisoning from underdone tofu. I'm an omnivore. I like my tofu in hot and sour soup.

Posted by: alison at April 18, 2008 11:10 AM

Definitely gonna give Panic! At The Disco a try, I've really been enjoying Maritime, so I'm gonna give your recommends a try, too.

And use the thermometer to grill snickers stuffed apples on the grill in foil . . . trust me . . .

Posted by: OS at April 18, 2008 11:38 AM

wedding gift, maybe? included in a set of uni-taskers (which often also happen to be space-wasters) for the kitchen?

p.s. joe simpson is a ginormous creep.

Posted by: jessica at April 18, 2008 12:26 PM

I eat meat like it's going out of style, and have no meat thermometer. Hmm.

Posted by: cassandra at April 18, 2008 1:01 PM

I really think Joe Simpson is putting the pregnancy out there for media attention. Only because her new album sucks and her marriage is boring news so a baby scandal would keep her "fresh" in the news....

Posted by: SleepyNita at April 18, 2008 4:41 PM

i get what you mean about panic at the disco. i feel the same way. and i just decided to opt out of the bratz discussion. i dont even want to think about it. i am surprised you didnt pick up on the whole yale art crazy lady thing though

Posted by: Cri at April 19, 2008 12:35 AM

Maybe you keeping the meat thermometer is sort of like an ex-smoker with a huge bowl full of matches.....

And I love Pretty Odd. We are a post-punk, but sometimes still punk, Beatle loving family. Two weeks ago, my hubby and I went to see Say Anything play. We were so happy to see people older than us there, until we realized they were there to escort their 15 year old daughters. Sadly, we are usually the oldest couple at shows nowadays.

Posted by: Jen at April 19, 2008 8:50 AM

That is the most amazing song I've ever heard. I truly adore it. She's awesome. If you get the chance, video tape it. Whether you show it to us or not, it will be so cool for them to see it one day.

You own a meat thermometer, because some old lady gave it to you as a wedding gift. That's my best guess anyway. I only make take out, but I own more pots and pans than probably anyone except Martha Stewart. I also own a turkey baster. Not that I could cook a turkey to save my life, nor would I, because I truly don't like turkey, but I own one.

Posted by: Phoenix at April 19, 2008 1:57 PM

Oh, how I hate the Bratzwhorz...sigh.

Anyway, you have the meat thermometer on hand for those times when you feel you must indulge in your lust for the bacon.

Posted by: Nanette at April 20, 2008 4:59 AM

Target demo's be damned - you're just hip, man. I'm definitely a fan of Panic!. I try to rationalize it as staying connected to the high school students I work with. But, really, I just like the stuff.

And, I really don't think I want to ponder why you have a meat thermometer. That sounds a little too personal to me.

Posted by: kate at April 22, 2008 12:37 PM