August 22, 2008

The Weeklies #50

The Weekly Quote. "Are you there God? It's me Chris. Where's my fucking pizza?"

The Weekly Best Spam Subject. BREAKING NEWS: McCain Vows to Withdraw All Troops From The U.S. From the U.S.? Didn't Bush already do that?

The Weekly Second Best Spam Subject. Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus Announces Britney Spears to Perform Dangerous Act. What, she's going to sing live without lip-syncing?

The Weekly Read. Ever had a book hangover? It's when you've just read something so good that you just have a hard time getting into whatever you picked up next. All About Lulu gave me just such a hangover. 200 pages into the book I'm currently reading, my mind is still wandering back to it. It's an odd book, about family, love, and competitive body-building. Above all, it's very honest, very sincere. And who doesn't need a good, honest book about competitive body-building every once in a while?

The Weekly Music. Have you ever heard of Shawn Smith? I bet most of you haven't. He's one of my favorite vocalists and one of the most shamefully unrecognized artists in the country. Smith was part of the emerging Seattle scene in the 90's yet never fell into the grunge trap. He sang for the bands Pidgeonhead (a strange electronic-influenced experiment), Brad (a collaboration with Pearl Jam's Stone Gossard) and his own band Satchel. His third solo album - The Diamond Hand - showed up on iTunes, Amazon and other electronic outlets. When I saw it, I downloaded it immediately and without thought. It's brilliant. Smith has an insanely cool, soulful voice and his songs are beautiful and heartfelt. If you've never heard of this guy, give him a shot. I can almost guarantee you'll like what you hear.

The Weekly Environmental Tip. Check out Yellow Pages Goes Green if you'd like to get on board a grass-roots movement to stop unsolicited delivery of the over 500 million telephone directories across the country. That's a lot of paper, yo.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. Last week a couple of hunters claimed to have nabbed - or, more accurately, stumbled across the deady body of - a yeti. Yeah. A yeti. They held a press conference and even had folks dropping by to take DNA samples. And of course we found out just days ago that the whole thing was bullshit. I mean, sure, I knew it was bullshit but a tiny little piece of me was hoping it wasn't bullshit. A boy can dream.

The Weekly Hypothetical. (Thanks to Maria for this one.) If you could spend one year in a perfect happiness but afterward would remember nothing of the experience would you do so? If not, why not? And what would you do during that year?

Posted by Chris at August 22, 2008 6:51 AM

I have had a book hangover! That's a good term for it. When that happens I just read something junky for a little while or short stories.
A year of happiness? Yeah I'd take it. It would include no money woes, traveling and happy times with my family.

Posted by: NancyJak at August 22, 2008 7:14 AM

Thanks for the link about the yellow pages. I signed up, but I don't know if it will work in my town, where the phone company gives the task of distributing them to people who owe community service hours. I got three sets of phone books this year. And my town is huge so my phone book is huge and of course we get six different kinds (yellow businesses, yellow services, white business, white residential, south Philly directory, downtown directory). I kept them stacked in my kitchen until the recycling truck came around, and the stack was taller than my two year old. Sick, right?

I don't think Verizon pays too much attention to where they are sending the distributors and I'm guessing the distributors probably aren't checking the list.

Sorry about the ranting, it just makes me mad. I haven't used a phone book since the invention of Google SMS.

Posted by: lora at August 22, 2008 8:20 AM

No, I wouldn't. Without the memories, it'd feel like I lost a year of my life.

Posted by: Brad at August 22, 2008 8:23 AM

Yep, I would do it. Living in the moment is much more me than living in the past or the future. What would I do - heck I don't know. I'm sure it would involve backpacking through Europe with the husband in a far gone pre-kid era.

Posted by: Jen at August 22, 2008 8:44 AM

hmmm...That's a good question. I think I would do it and spend the time with my family. I think the well being that comes from such intense happiness would carry over even if I didn't remember the year. All experiences make up who we are even if we don't remember them.

Also, Yeti???? What the hell? Why do I still live in this freaking state where the crazy people are? gah.

Posted by: tulip at August 22, 2008 8:53 AM

Weekly Read: I've been in a reading slump, so I could use a good book hangover. It is a sad day when you have thousands of unread books in your library, but can't find a thing to read.

Weekly Hypothetical: I haven't slept more than a half hour in the last three days, so I'm rather cranky. :-) Today, I would pass on the perfect year of happiness. I'm feeling cynical and think there is no such thing as perfect. I would also like to think that the bad things fade and I would want to cherish the happy moments even if there are only a few.

Posted by: Maria at August 22, 2008 8:53 AM

I'll have to check out the music rec. I haven't heard of the guy before, but I have heard of Satchel - as "Suffering" is on one of my favorite music soundtracks... and I love that song.

Weekly read - I just finished "Eleanor Rigby" - it was definitely quirky. But one part stuck out and I bookmarked the page to read again - (p 177 if you still have the book) - where Liz is talking about she decided to stop doing everything she was bad at - that she thought it would make her life better but then she realized in not doing things she lost the opportunity to have millions of new experiences... Sigh. I thought that was kind of interesting.

Posted by: Sarah at August 22, 2008 9:03 AM

I love the Weekly Environmental Tip! As a member of my agency's environmental management team, that makes me feel all warm and tingly inside.

Posted by: Liberal Banana at August 22, 2008 9:03 AM


Seriously. It was bizarre.

And I'm not sure I would take that year of happiness. If I woke up tomorrow in August 2009 with no recollection of what had happened in the past year, I'd be really freaked out that I'd been captured by an elaborate terrorist organization, brainwashed, used to kill certain important figures, and then had my eggs harvested to fulfill a prophecy thousands of years old. NO THANK YOU, RIMBALDI. DNW.

Is it sad that I'm still making Alias references after all this time?

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at August 22, 2008 9:17 AM

book hangover is the perfect term for that - I never knew what to call it.

If I would have no memory of it, probably not. I would be frightened to wake up and have no idea where I've been. Can you tell I'm also an Alias fan?
Although, would my friends and family remember the year and be able to tell me all about it - in that case sign me up!

Posted by: diane at August 22, 2008 9:31 AM

I think any of those who spent some of our formative years in the 1970s when all those bigfoot specials and made-for-tv movies were on all secretly hoped this one would be the real deal. Sigh.

As to the week of happiness - nope. I'd pass on it. Happiness is great, but it's not the only emotion that makes up life. I'd rather have a full life full of all the emotions and be able to remember all of it than have a one-faceted week that ultimately is useless because I can't remember it anyway.

Posted by: Traci at August 22, 2008 9:34 AM

I would spend the year of happiness hypnotically convincing McCain to send the Yeti into Iraq to collect our troops and bring them home.

And then the Yeti would build McCain yet another house made entirely out of Yellow Pages directories and make him live in it.

Posted by: jessica at August 22, 2008 9:34 AM

I wouldn't. My memories both good and bad are what make my life real.

Posted by: Maribeth at August 22, 2008 9:57 AM

My favorite spam subject line this week is also Britney related. "Britney sues vagina for divorce."

Book hangover is such a perfect term. It's like you're not quite ready to leave the world of that book behind and dive into a new one.

Posted by: bad penguin at August 22, 2008 10:12 AM

heeeee- you should add a *rimshot!* after the weekly headline.

I'm going to click over to yellow pages goes green....very smart.

Posted by: chatty cricket at August 22, 2008 10:15 AM

I would do it. I would somehow come into a substantial amount of money, pay off all my bills and then spend the rest of the money on completely frivilous adventures with family and friends.
I figure I don't need to remember paying off all my bills... that'd just be a nice surprise after the year was over!

Posted by: Kate at August 22, 2008 10:35 AM

Book hangover! That's it! And when the book is so good as to cause a hangover? I usually read it like an addict - every waking moment until it's done. It's been a long time since I've had one of those. But I just don't think I could get into something about competitive body-building.

And no, I wouldn't give up another year of my life. I've wasted too much of it already, not being able to remember.

Posted by: k8 at August 22, 2008 10:43 AM

My year of perfect happiness would have to include ongoing things like weight loss and money gettin'. A blissful year in which I lose half my body weight and gain $10 billion would be great and I wouldn't care how I'd done it, just that I had. So forgettin' wouldn't bother me so much.

Posted by: GreenCanary at August 22, 2008 11:43 AM

the whole bigfoot thing was ridiculous!

Posted by: ali at August 22, 2008 11:59 AM

I opted out. Thanks for the link! Maybe you should send that link out to the media so they can get the word out. Wasting all those trees is ridiculous. Plus, hundreds, if not thousands of animals/birds/bugs/etc are displaced when they do that.

Nope, I'd rather remember my year(s).

Posted by: been there, done that at August 22, 2008 1:00 PM

"Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus Announces Britney Spears to Perform Dangerous Act." Or wear panties?

No on the hypothetical, cause if you can't remember it, how was it that great?

Posted by: Issa at August 22, 2008 1:43 PM

oh my god. a 'deady' body? PLEASE don't correct this typo; it is both hilarious and heart-warming... deady, body, yeti. only accidents create such interesting language recipes.

i needed that laugh. god bless you.

Posted by: jessica at August 22, 2008 2:21 PM

I adore Shawn Smith. I saw him play with Satchel in a small club and fell in love.

Posted by: ::c:: at August 22, 2008 3:14 PM

I LOVE the weekly quote.

Hypothetical: I would not. We as humans need bad to see and appreciate the good. If it's all good then I won't appreciate it. I need to remember the good, otherwise... why bother? Of course, moot point once I'm dead, eh?

Posted by: Poppy at August 22, 2008 3:20 PM

I had in fact heard of Mr. Smith. On your recommendation I will got check it out.

Spam titles kills me.
Hypothetical... nah I wouldn't do it. It's just a wasted year since I won't remember it.

Posted by: Nat at August 22, 2008 4:43 PM

I loved Brad! Downloading his album right now, it sounds awesome, thanks for the tip!

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at August 22, 2008 5:33 PM

I wouldn't do it. Without sweet memories to look back on, I'd feel like I lost a year of my life . . .

Posted by: Mindy at August 22, 2008 5:33 PM


I just went looking in my spam for something and look what I found!

" BREAKING NEWS: Michael Jackson Feels A Little Prick"

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at August 22, 2008 6:22 PM

I would take the year of happiness. Who cares if you don't remember it, ja? It's not like you're going to live a year of perfect crappiness after it, right?
P.S. Of a lover of all things ridiculous/supernatural/unbelievable, I was secretly hoping the Bigfoot thing was true too. Ahh, well.

Posted by: Katie at August 22, 2008 9:13 PM

I would take the year of happiness. Who cares if you don't remember it, ja? It's not like you're going to live a year of perfect crappiness after it, right?
P.S. Of a lover of all things ridiculous/supernatural/unbelievable, I was secretly hoping the Bigfoot thing was true too. Ahh, well.

Posted by: Katie at August 22, 2008 9:13 PM

I would take the year of happiness. Who cares if you don't remember it, ja? It's not like you're going to live a year of perfect crappiness after it, right?
P.S. Of a lover of all things ridiculous/supernatural/unbelievable, I was secretly hoping the Bigfoot thing was true too. Ahh, well.

Posted by: Katie at August 22, 2008 9:13 PM

Umm, whoops, guess I hit the post button a few too many times!

Posted by: Katie at August 22, 2008 9:17 PM

I'd skip the one year of happiness.

I HAVE happiness. I think it would just make me miss out on a year of time with my kids and my new husband.

I mean, sure, it would be a year free of some of the common stresses of life. But that's a year I can't get back.

I have my perfect happiness. It's a wonderful life and I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Posted by: Holly Reynolds at August 25, 2008 1:15 AM