September 23, 2008


Yesterday was a long day and I have this sneaking suspicion that it's going to be a long week. Why, you ask? Well, let's look at a few of the signs. You know it's going to be a long week when... roll down your car window and, since you parked it outside over the weekend due to the fact that you had your driveway redone, the evil chestnuts that have piled up on top of your car manage to fall into the car hitting you square in the face reminding you how insanely sharp they are and that mother nature is one sick bitch from time to time. realize that the pants you wore - the ones you selected in the dark, mind you - have a rather obnoxious and obvious stain in the crotchal region which makes it look like you either had a minor accident or you really, really enjoy being at work, if you know what I mean. arrive in the office, enter the elevator and immediately become stuck when the power fails with a woman who promptly freaks the fuck out and, instead of actually pushing the call button to get the security guys on the phone, repeatedly pushes the little picture of the phone next to the call button and freaks the fuck out more when no one answers. are freed from the elevator and realize that when the power is out this includes any and all bathroom ventilation which results in a disgusting smell leading you to believe that somehow livestock is sneaking onto the 12th floor of the building and has cracked the code to the use of modern plumbing. are in said bathroom musing about aforementioned smell even wondering how sheep could use a urinal when you realize two very important things - a) you're talking out lound and b) you're not alone.

...the doughnut you bought on the way to work tastes like ass which, let's face it, is really hard for a doughnut to accomplish. are late to every meeting and conference call you have which is about as imaginable as the Pope leading a group of homosexual pro-choice protesters in a satanic ritual inside the Vatican because you are a compulsively early person. have a dentist appointment and are sure to get the flossing lecture and, upon said realization you floss like a person possessed and discover that your floss is made in Ireland which is really strange but you're not sure why it's strange. realize, quite suddenly, that you have a boatload (Love Boat sized, not your standard dingy) of work to do before an all-day meeting you've scheduled for Wednesday. realize that you've finally turned into the asshat responsible for scheduling an all-day meeting. slowly begin to feel like ass throughout the day and not the kind of ass that looks great in a pair of tight fitting jeans and turns heads but, instead, a cellulite-ridden kind of sloppy ass.

Like I said, there's a very real possibility that it's going to be a long week. And how about you? Do you believe in signs? And how do you make it through a long week?

Posted by Chris at September 23, 2008 7:11 AM

Alcohol. Lots of alcohol. :)
Hehe. In all seriousness I try to remind myself that there's always something better coming. I also really try to laugh at the things I can. I mean... tutoring a 6 year old who has cancer can take all the pep out of your step... but if I focus on the things that we actually do together and the fun I have while doing it, despite being sad... that helps. But man Mon-Weds are slow going. :)

Posted by: Kate at September 23, 2008 7:49 AM

Stop. Drop. And Roll.

This week is looking like it's going to be a doozy. Mainly because last week was a double doozy. And it's only Tuesday.

Posted by: Nat at September 23, 2008 8:30 AM

Stop. Drop. And Roll.

This week is looking like it's going to be a doozy. Mainly because last week was a double doozy. And it's only Tuesday.

Posted by: Nat at September 23, 2008 8:30 AM

I noticed the Ireland thing on my dental floss and thought it was weird too. I'm sure there are a lot of great things coming out of Ireland and if I researched it, I could learn what they are. But as of this moment I'm certain (in that way that complete ignorance can give you unshakable faith) that dental floss is their #1 export. And that is very strange.

Posted by: Cassandra at September 23, 2008 8:34 AM

Yep. Luckily, my Monday signs pointed to goodness. A rare and welcomed event.

How to make it through? One conference call at a time, and don't sweat the small stuff. You can clean up your inbox and contribute to that birthday party envelope next week.

Posted by: Brad at September 23, 2008 8:54 AM

Man, I had a day like that on Saturday. Woke up, stepped in dog doo, burned my finger on coffee pot, stepped in dog vomit, and fell down steps.
I just wanted to run back to bed and hide.
I cursed a lot and then I said a couple of prayers and things seemed to get better!

Posted by: Maribeth at September 23, 2008 8:57 AM

I DO believe in signs like this but I also find that if I look at each bad thing as a compounding of the bad that is to come, I am jinxing it in a way to continue being bad. If that makes sense. So I try not to look at them as signs.

Posted by: Claire at September 23, 2008 8:58 AM

My cat shit in my cupboard. Runny, nasty, ate something terrible cat shit. And? She shit is a hard to reach area, so not only did I have to smell and clean said shit, I also had to strain and be uncomfortable. Also, I had to throw out half of my (wildly expensive organic) food because it shared the same air as the cat shit. This is not a solution to your problem, but I thought it would make you happy that you don't have cat shit in your cupboard.

Posted by: mymilabean at September 23, 2008 9:00 AM

don't forget about the protesting truckers who are rumored to snarl DC traffic....

Oh I COMPLETELY believe in signs. I tend to just give in and let it all happen because if the Universe is giving me fair warning, I believe that I should take it as the Universe being a little kind before the giant slap across the face, and also frankly, who could ever control the Universe? I tend to just say, "fine, send it my way" and then when it gets here I deal with it.

Also what helps me is picking out one treat for yourself (mine is usually of the caffeinated Starbucks variety) and go and get your treat when the Universe starts laying it on thick. I recommend walking to the nearest Starbucks with your iPod so that you can lose yourself in a little music on the way back with your treat and forget the Universe and all it's signs for a few.

And also, hang in there- if this week is bad, next week should be good?

Posted by: chatty cricket at September 23, 2008 9:03 AM

During an obnoxious day or week I just remind myself that soon I can crawl into bed and sleep it away.

Posted by: NancyJak at September 23, 2008 9:04 AM

Those are not signs. Nope, sorry. Those are billboards and skywriting.

Posted by: Katie at September 23, 2008 9:24 AM

I feel your pain. I have to work this Sat. (not my usual schedule) for in-service training! I hear that it is pretty lame (new employee). So no I would not like to do training on my normal day off..yuck!

And yes a glass of wine after a sucky day ....long day whatever wonderful... :)

Posted by: Julie Andel at September 23, 2008 9:28 AM

Is an all-day meeting ever really necessary? Does anything ever get resolved or is it just an effort in perseverance, seeing who can last the longest without running out of the room having lost their mind from the numbing torture of endless talking points?

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at September 23, 2008 9:36 AM

um, not sure... still trying to get over the longest, helluva weekend ever (and definitely not in a good way). wait, naps are good. having naps and hoping I'll wake up in a happier place!

BUT, I could go with commenter #1 - alcohol.

Posted by: Holly at September 23, 2008 9:40 AM

I have been fighting with my 2 1/2 year old daughter all week, over ridiculous stuff like wardrobe choices... it is only Tuesday, yet it feels like next Thursday. Guess what? It's pointless to reason with a toddler. Sigh.

Posted by: Nikki at September 23, 2008 9:52 AM

Call out sick for that Wednesday meeting - who scheduled that? Or.....

Just get home as soon as you can, and have a refreshing drink. And hope that the children are in terrific moods, and want to play alone.

Try to wait till tomorrow to worry about tomorrow.

Hang in there!!

Posted by: cassie-b at September 23, 2008 9:57 AM

Oh man, that's enough stuff to make a whole week crappy (no pun intended), let alone just one day. For long weeks I count down until when I will see my boyfriend on Friday evening. It's weird, I know, but it makes it go a little more quickly. Hope your week picks up! And, an all day meeting, seriously?!

Posted by: Dianna at September 23, 2008 10:20 AM

It must have been the day - yesterday was like a shit storm all freaking day long. At one point I IM'd my boss and said "seriously, wtf is going on with today" to which he replied "I thought it was just me and the universe was trying to force an early retirement".

Posted by: Cass at September 23, 2008 10:21 AM

Go in the bathroom, cry (hopefully no one's in there with me - I at least check first!), and then go back to yet another few hours before I cry again. Then again, I'm a girl, so I don't see you doing that.

Posted by: Heather at September 23, 2008 10:29 AM

I believe in signs and mine are not pointing anywhere good.

Posted by: k8 at September 23, 2008 11:14 AM

at least you can see the humor in it.

Posted by: kati at September 23, 2008 11:17 AM

I bet this wouldn't work for me... but maybe for you? Think of your amazing weekend... and then the next one that's waiting for you on Friday night.

Posted by: Hannah at September 23, 2008 11:31 AM

Dude - I have so had the conversation with myself in the bathroom to only realize not only am I talking out loud, but I am not alone.

And unlike you - I work in a very small office. So, yeah.

It will be better! I hope!

Posted by: Mindy at September 23, 2008 12:17 PM


And hammering on metal. Creatively, with purpose.
And fire is good. Fire on metal, than hammer.

And counting down to Friday. Although I feel guilty for 'wishing my life away'.

Oh damn. Meeting at 2:00. I forgot about that.

Posted by: Amy at September 23, 2008 12:33 PM

So...this guy in the bathroom with you. Have you found his blog yet? The one where he talks about the freaky people he meets in the bathroom?

Posted by: kalisa at September 23, 2008 12:51 PM

I agree that this is likely to be a long week. My sign? I finished the weekend off refreshingly well rested, but still managed to start the week exhausted. And my sleep deficit is snowballing.

I shudder to think of what tonight holds for me.

Posted by: Becky at September 23, 2008 1:15 PM

70+ more hours to get in before the end of the month and a funeral in a different time zone.

I fucking HATE this week.

Posted by: alektra at September 23, 2008 1:44 PM

you win, Chris. that sucks.

the good news is that it's only really can't get much worse from here on out. :)

Posted by: ali at September 23, 2008 3:02 PM

I can't decide if I like the elevator posts or the bathroom posts better. You'd just better pray they don't invent an elevator with a bathroom in it during your lifetime.

Posted by: Mr Lady at September 23, 2008 3:11 PM

Hey! Don't be bustin' on the cellulite-ridden kind of sloppy asses in the world. My ass just might be one of those slopyy asses.

Also, I'm looking for music for a friend to broaden his musical horizon. He is a singer himself and I told him he sounded like Sigur Ros. He listened to Sigur Ros and totally loved the music. Can you direct me to some groups/artists/albums that he should listen to?

Posted by: GreenCanary at September 23, 2008 3:29 PM

You know all those crazy bathroom stories that you've been posting over the past year or so? Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but it sounds like you've just become one.

So, what was the bathroom lecture about, anyway?

Posted by: Angela at September 23, 2008 4:12 PM

Oh, how I dread the floss talk. I like to drink lots and lots of wine when it's one of those weeks...

Posted by: Katie at September 23, 2008 8:33 PM

Well, you have an all-day meeting tomorrow. I have an all-day training session for a computer system that I AM NOT EVEN GOING TO USE AT WORK.

Ugh. What's that about?

Posted by: Stephanie at September 23, 2008 8:53 PM

When a hurricane comes barreling through on your weekend then you know that the week ahead is going to be really miserable.

Usually I make it through with a couple of beers but I was stuck with my parents so I kicked out the left over meds from the root canal. Then I didn't care about anything.

Posted by: Shell at September 23, 2008 9:00 PM

Minute by minute. Coffee by coffee. Crack rock by crack rock. You know? Good luck and may Friday night be here before you can say alldaywednesdaymeeting. Eeek!

Posted by: Beth at September 23, 2008 9:07 PM

Look at it this way- today you were someone else's weird bathroom encounter. That's go to do something to rebalance your karma.

Posted by: Annie at September 23, 2008 11:20 PM

I'm a day late in commenting...which means you are in your all day meeting!!! And Dude, I can't stand all day meetings. Did you at least order lunch for everyone?

Have you ever pondered why you keep having wars with assorted produce? (pears...chestnuts...)


Posted by: jessica at September 24, 2008 12:12 PM

Ummm...I'd have to say that sounds like a pretty insane day! Hope you made it through okay. :)

Posted by: Zandria at September 25, 2008 3:59 PM

When you're in not good state and have got no money to move out from that, you would have to take the loans. Because that would aid you for sure. I get student loan every time I need and feel myself good just because of that.

Posted by: SalasCarey19 at December 26, 2010 4:24 AM