October 29, 2008

Puppies, Not Presidencies

Mia: Daddy?
Me: Yeah sweetheart?
Mia: Is McCain going to be president?
Me: Uh, where'd you learn about this?
Mia: Don't know. Is McCain going to be president?
Me: I hope not.
Mia: Why do you hope not?
Me: Because I don't think he's the right guy for the job.
Mia: Why's he not the right guy for the job?
Me: Well, because I don't think he'd do a good job. I think he's part of the problem, not the solution.
Mia: We could help him do a good job.
Me: Yeah? How about we just vote for someone we'd think would do a good job?
Mia: Like Obama?
Me: Yeah. Obama.
Mia: But we could give McCain money and he'd do a better job.
Me: Sweetheart, I think the last thing McCain needs is more money.
Mia: Why?
Me: He has enough. And twelve houses.
Mia: Okay, then we can give him a puppy.
Me: That might make him less angry. But I don't think we should give him the presidency.
Mia: Okay. We can vote for Obama but give McCain a puppy.

Here's the deal. You know I don't like McCain. He's a follower, not a maverick. He'd extend the Bush dynasty by another four, or possibly eight, years. He's too old for the job and what's more he seems a little mean. So instead of giving him your votes, let's give John McCain a puppy.

Here are the facts: Puppies are much cuter and easier to take care of than the whole of these United States of America. And? Puppies are great for old people. After all, dogs are used for therapy in nursing homes and McCain's only a couple years away from one of those. McCain wants to drill for things. Well, dogs are great at digging holes. Instead of playing with that temperamental "nuclear football" McCain could toss around the old pigskin with Gipper or Dutch (or whatever he chose to name said puppy), thus avoiding the remote possibility of blowing the world into little tiny pieces. And speaking of the world, a McCain presidency would most likely take giant turds all over the world leaving his successor with the unenviable job of coming behind McCain with really big baggies to clean up the mess. A puppy would just take small shits in Arizona. Finally, if something should ever happen to McCain, let's face it, Sarah Palin is much more qualified to take care of a puppy than she is the Oval Office.


Who's behind me? McCain '08 - A Puppy Not A Presidency!

Posted by Chris at October 29, 2008 6:08 AM


I love it. They also recommend puppies for people going through certain types of therapy or rehab. You know "Can you handle a puppy first?"

Best idea EVER. I love your daughter. Maybe she should be a vice president. Today - Preschool, Tomorrow - The White House!

Mia for VP in 2020!!!

Posted by: Holly Reynolds at October 29, 2008 7:18 AM

I'm right there with you! However, I fear that he might forget at which of his 8.7 billion houses he left the puppy (cos, you know, he has so many houses that he doesn't even know how many he has), and it might head straight to puppy heaven before the old man realizes it. Can it be a STUFFED puppy?

Posted by: ironic1 at October 29, 2008 7:21 AM

I'm with you! How about one of the Fur Real Friends puppies? I spent a few days in the middle of McCain country (near Canton, OH) with my Canadian plate and my Obama bumper sticker. I really thought I was gonna be run out of town! Perhaps I should put your graphic on my blog?

Posted by: Christy at October 29, 2008 7:35 AM

Mia has the best ideas. :)

Posted by: Hannah at October 29, 2008 8:14 AM

Maybe he should start with a WebKinz...

Either way, you know that puppy is out living him.

Posted by: sarah at October 29, 2008 8:17 AM

Clearly Mia is the maverick with her genius idea!

Posted by: Shelly at October 29, 2008 8:20 AM


But, only if he names the puppy Pow (you know, for POW -- b/c we'll never hear the end of THAT story!)

Posted by: Robyn at October 29, 2008 8:33 AM

Oh my god. Hilarious! Mia is a political genius. Better make sure she's getting enough poly sci at pre-school. I'm totally right there with you.

Posted by: Jen at October 29, 2008 8:44 AM

That is precious and BRILLIANT.

Posted by: Fraulein N at October 29, 2008 8:47 AM

Haha Chris, I think you may have a budding political genius on your hands! That's freakin AWESOME.

Posted by: Heather at October 29, 2008 8:51 AM

Excellent idea. Obviously Mia should be campaigning. She seems to have better ideas than the politicians.

Posted by: diane at October 29, 2008 8:51 AM

Genius decision! Puppies all around! You've got one smart cookie on your hands.

I wish politics were easier to understand. I, for instance, am not voting this year. I know who I think I'd vote for, but I'm not *that* confident in the decision due to lack of knowledge. I am a believer that if you can't make an educated decision, you shouldn't try to make a decision. That's like just guessing which is probably just going to add to the problem. Too bad more people don't think that way. I wish presidential candidates would spend less time campaigning and/or cutting each other down and more time stating facts. But then I guess at that point - it wouldn't be called "politics" anymore. :P *steps off soapbox* Ok, all done. Thanks for listening. :o)

Posted by: Emily at October 29, 2008 9:20 AM

Hrm, I'm okay with McCain getting a puppy. But I'm afraid I just don't trust Palin with a puppy of her own. Maybe we could start her off with a hamster or some fish?

Posted by: Garth at October 29, 2008 9:24 AM

It's just amazing to me that little children know so much. And their solutions are just so simple. It's a shame we lose that insight.

Posted by: cassie-b at October 29, 2008 9:24 AM

I don't know, guys. I'm a dog owner, so I know first hand that a puppy is a BIG responsibility. Are we sure we're ready to let McCain have one? Let's start him off with a Chia Pet and see how he does.

Posted by: Kelly at October 29, 2008 9:30 AM

Would it make you happy to know that my 10 year old's teacher held a mock American election yesterday in her classroom in Edinburgh? (She's from Boston originally). And that Obama won a landslide?

Posted by: Loth at October 29, 2008 9:38 AM

Why don't we just get kids to run the world? Then we'd have no wars, fights would be sorted out in 20 minute playtime breaks and cars would all run on air. Taps would dispense Coke instead of that nasty water stuff and everyone would have a pet elephant which could talk.

But, then, kids don't have the sense of narcissism or greed required to run for office. Ah well.

Posted by: Mosh at October 29, 2008 9:38 AM

We could just get a puppy to run for Presidency.

There is precedence.


Posted by: Arwen at October 29, 2008 9:47 AM

OMG, funniest McCain post EVAR. And you know who I'm voting for.

Now, with that said, whatever happened to our plan to plug our ears and yell "la la la la la la la" whenever politics comes up, until next Tuesday when we'll go vote and then tailgate while watching the results? Was that just me?

Posted by: chatty cricket at October 29, 2008 10:05 AM

Clearly, your daughter is a genius. Vote for Obama but give McCain a puppy!

Posted by: bad penguin at October 29, 2008 10:07 AM

Dude, your daughter is awesome. I'm on board 100% McCain scares the crap out of me. Even if I liked him, I couldn't vote for him, because, seriously? He's OLD and he might DIE in office and then Palin would be in charge and that makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and suck my thumb. Someone said somewhere (about Palin) "She smiles at you like that because she wants your soul!" I want my mommy.

Posted by: js at October 29, 2008 10:22 AM

i think you meant nuc-U-lar

Posted by: ali at October 29, 2008 10:22 AM


I will totally buy McCain a puppy if he wins.

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at October 29, 2008 10:24 AM

Well, when you get out of treatment, they tell you to get a plant first, and if you don't kill THAT, then you can get a puppy. But if you're willing to take the risk.....

Posted by: k8 at October 29, 2008 10:25 AM

Good idea. While we are at it you guys might want to get a pacifier for Biden till after the election so he doesn't say anything else and screw it up.

I so wish we had a none of the above option on the ballot. I still think neither candidate has a handle on what they should be doing.

Posted by: Jeff A at October 29, 2008 10:28 AM

Mia's on the same wavelength as Natalie Portman!

Posted by: cyniclite at October 29, 2008 10:45 AM

OH YEAH! I forgot about the Natalie Portman video, ha ha!!

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at October 29, 2008 10:56 AM

OMG! I love how Mia's mind works! I'm all for the puppy...if he and Palin can keep the puppy alive for a year (or 4) then we'll talk about the Oval Office! ;-p

What's the movie reference???? 28 Days w/Sandra Bullock!

Posted by: Michelle at October 29, 2008 11:19 AM

A puppy would surely lick all that make-up off McCain's face thus revealing the age he really is! Ever noticed the amount of make up that man is ALWAYS wearing?! I mean no wonder the righties don't like him either - they fear they will be voting someone in drag into the oval office. At least Bush was just stoopid.

Posted by: Christina at October 29, 2008 11:29 AM

you still deny the fact that Obama has all the wrong thoughts as well. You paint him to be this great leader. Face it, you're only voting for him because he's not Bush, same reason you voted for Kerry.

Lets have the government control our 401k's...lets let people dip into their 401k's to bridge the gap during this recession..oh wait what? That will tank the market..nah...Obama has socialist views, he said it himself years ago...

You should put this picture up on your site...


Posted by: Darren at October 29, 2008 11:47 AM

I am behind you. And my kid can't even say spaghetti yet. What are you feeding that kid?

Posted by: Mr Lady at October 29, 2008 12:14 PM

I've always been a fence-rider, can't call myself an R, a D, or even an I really. I didn't make my final decision until Palin came into the picture. I have 2 daughters. Enough said on that front.
I think we've had enough of wealthy white men sitting in the President's chair for awhile. The only thing McCain/Palin and I share is our skin color. I think it is time for a President who remembers what it's like to have to balance a checkbook before going to the grocery store or gassing up the car.

Posted by: ame i. at October 29, 2008 12:18 PM

So Mia's future calling will be campaign strategist?

Posted by: Heather at October 29, 2008 1:07 PM

That is a great idea, just make sure we all only give him one puppy, I live in Az. and if everyone sent him a puppy that may only be "little shit's" but it would be alot of "little shit's"....lol and aside from Phoenix...our state isn't too bad!

Posted by: Alexandra at October 29, 2008 1:22 PM

I love this. I'd vote for that. Obama for president, Puppies for McCain. Hell, he could even have two puppies.

Mia rocks!

Posted by: Issa at October 29, 2008 1:31 PM

On the one hand, I think this is a superb idea. Puppies are therapeutic. They bring joy. They increase life expectency. Etc, etc, etc. Old people love puppies.

On the other hand... I'm slightly concerned about McCain's mantal accuity. He might forget to feed the dog. He could forget to walk it. He might forget Gipper's name. Think of the puppy Cactus. Can we really sentence a puppy to that kind of life? What would the sweet baby jesus do?

Posted by: Kate at October 29, 2008 2:58 PM

It can't be a pitbull though, then he may try putting lipstick on it.

And I agree, Mia for President!!!!

Posted by: Samantha at October 29, 2008 3:41 PM

It's prefect! Gosh that kid of yours is way ahead of her time!

Posted by: Dianna at October 29, 2008 3:42 PM

McCain might prefer a ferret.


The puppy idea is a great one! Mia obviously has great talent for political science.

Posted by: jessica at October 29, 2008 4:17 PM

Wow, talk about ageism...

Well, I dislike both candidates. I think Obama's a lying sack of shit (whether on purpose or not is another question) and have since day one. His logic confounds me. The above posters have summed it up and it's all been said before, so I won't bother with those talking points.

McCain offers nothing new. He has, in the past, reached across party lines and done more middle ground work than others in his party. However, he's going back on all of that to get the votes he can get. It's the saddest thing that could happen to one of the few politicians (let alone Republicans) for whom I ever had a modicum of respect

I don't like that our government is being decided by who can get the most T.V. time.

I don't like the options I've been given.

But better than the choices between Kerry and Bush. Maybe in 2012 we'll have a logical person who is not trying to divide our country, take away people's rights, or present options that are unrealistic.

Now THAT would be change.

Posted by: alektra at October 29, 2008 4:52 PM

That is f'ing awesome.

Every year it us the same thing. Neither candidate is qualified. Ha! NO ONE is qualified for this job. How could you be?

Mia is very wise. She's got my vote.

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Posted by: satria at October 29, 2008 5:08 PM

Behind you all the way...but do we really want to put a puppy through such misery. =(

Posted by: lesley at October 29, 2008 7:11 PM

I love the way Mia thinks. :D

Posted by: Poppy at October 29, 2008 8:38 PM

Do you know how hard it is not to make a crack about how McCain already has a pitbull? ;)

Posted by: Nat at October 29, 2008 9:39 PM

Now THIS is change I can believe in.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at October 29, 2008 9:53 PM

Delurking...Hi, I like your point of view which is why I keep reading so you won't hear any crap from me. Not here to plug my blog but your comment form requires me to type in info. Just wanted to say- Isn't part of the point of America that we can have differing opinions and still function together? Agreement is not required but some degree of respect is, eh?

Posted by: Jane at October 29, 2008 10:36 PM

That Mia is one smart cookie! I'm in!

Posted by: Gwen at October 29, 2008 10:37 PM

You know those If you Give a Mouse a Cookie books. I see something very funny playing out:

If you give McCain a Puppy then you'll have to send him to Puppy school because he'll have no idea how to be kind to a puppy. At Puppy School McCain will see a Doghouse and he'll want one. For each house. If you get McCain a doghouse for each house he'll have his wife decorate them. If you let his wife decorate the houses you'll have a little Stepford Doghouse Community. If you have a community McCain will want to gate it as to keep all the scary stuff out. If you get him thinking about the scary stuff then you'll see his grimace. If you see his grimace you'll have to hire another PR person to handle the grimace. Once the grimace is dealt with you'll need to find someone to go look for that darn puppy.

Posted by: Cass at October 30, 2008 7:07 AM

Mia is a genius!

Posted by: Sandi at October 30, 2008 9:17 AM

I've read a lot of election posts recently, from both sides, and this is the first that has made me smile in a long time.

Posted by: Amy at October 30, 2008 3:55 PM

Heh! I'll vote for that!

Posted by: Angela at October 30, 2008 10:45 PM

What a great problem solver little Mia is!

Posted by: Bella Rum at November 2, 2008 1:38 PM

It is well known that cash makes us independent. But what to do if somebody doesn't have money? The only one way is to try to get the personal loans and bank loan.

Posted by: ChandlerTonia21 at November 5, 2010 4:11 PM