October 31, 2008

The Weeklies #60

The Weekly Really Stupid Gadgets. Are you starting to get a little worried about what to give to your friends and relatives this holiday season? Well, if they like complete and utter crap, you're in luck. Take for instance the retro handset for a cellphone which is completely, well, counterproductive and useless. You could always pick up the USB thumb drive shaped like an actual thumb. Or one shaped like cabbage. Finally, if you've got any family members who are just crazy about the limbo but are tired of setting up those pesky limbo bars around the house, you're in luck - check out the Limbo String.

The Weekly Read. John Sandford is pretty amazing. He somehow manages to crank out about a book a year across three different series and none of them suck. Dark Of The Moon is the first of a new series featuring quirky yet impressive investigator Virgil Flowers, introduced in one of Sandford's Prey novels featuring Lucas Davenport. Davenport makes brief appearances on the phone but Dark Of The Moon is really a separate entity entirely. While the Prey novels use Minneapolis-St. Paul as their stage, Dark Of The Moon is very rural, very small-town. I was expecting a sub-par Prey knock-off but what I got was a really engaging mystery with a very likable protagonist. I really have no idea how Sandford does it but as long as he keeps writing, I'll keep reading.

The Weekly Music. Probably the most anticipated album released this week was Snow Patrol's new one, A Hundred Million Suns. When I reviewed their previous album, Eyes Open, the week it came out, I think I drew comparisons to its predecessor and declared that Eyes Open wasn't nearly as good. Then I listened to it a couple million times because it's addictive and grew to like it better. If I had to guess, I'd say the same thing will probably happen here. Snow Patrol hasn't invented a new formula, just produced more of the same without ever sounding stale or bored. The songs are well-crafted with great hooks. The only slight exception is the 16-minute The Lightning Strike. Instead of being some grand epic (which I'm used to being a progressive rock fan), it's more like a suite of three fairly strong songs. The lyrics of the third section put it best - all these broken pieces fit together. And they do, throughout the album. Bottom line? It's great, buy it.

The Weekly Time Waster. Know your geography? Prove it!

The Weekly Photo.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. Just when you thought Madonna couldn't get any worse, the marriage contract she made Guy Ritchie sign has hit the internet. Why so bad? Included are the following requirements - Guy must work to enrich his wife’s emotional and spiritual wellbeing. Guy must devote several hours a week to reading Kabbalah texts with Madge. Guy must only use certain words during arguments to resolve conflicts in a constructive way. Guy must never shout and instead say, 'I understand that my actions have upset you, please work with me to resolve this.' Guy must devote time to sex sessions and not use sex as a stick to beat one another. Nothing says love like you are required to do me.

The Weekly Hypothetical. Trick? Or treat?

Posted by Chris at October 31, 2008 6:33 AM

She's bad for making the contract, he's worse for signing it ;)

What a cute photo! I'm sad we don't really celebrate Halloween here.

Posted by: Nadine at October 31, 2008 7:16 AM

Oh. My god. That costume? Cutest thing ever.

Posted by: Jessa at October 31, 2008 7:44 AM

Can you believe that contract? I'd still be single if I's ever tried to get my husband to sign that!
Trick or Treat?
Oh I am definitely a treat!

Posted by: Maribeth at October 31, 2008 8:14 AM

Treat. For sure.

Posted by: Sarah at October 31, 2008 8:16 AM


I'm more concerned about whether Madonna actually refers to herself as Madge. That deserves an extra slap, right there. I hate that nickname; it makes no damn sense.

Posted by: Fraulein N at October 31, 2008 8:50 AM

Oh that is easy TREATS for sure :)

Posted by: Christina at October 31, 2008 8:57 AM


I got a 30 on that geography test. The problem is they don't give you enough time to get your bearings. If the major (easy) countries were filled it, it'd be easier.

Posted by: Brad at October 31, 2008 9:15 AM

Treat of course!

Hmm, why would he sign that? Such a loving way to start a marriage....

Posted by: diane at October 31, 2008 9:18 AM

I have to admit there are a few people I'd like to give that order to.... hee hee

My scariest story ever is posted to my blog in response to your post yesterday. Check it out if you dare. :)

Posted by: jessica at October 31, 2008 9:21 AM

and people think Michael Jackson is a freak.

well isn't he the cutest little crustacean!

Posted by: Holly at October 31, 2008 9:40 AM

Vince Flynn is another Twin Cities-based author who manages to crank out a new book every year (or a bit more). He was on local afternoon drive radio last week and that topic came up. The host -- who also is a columnist for a daily paper here -- figues that it's because Sandford (a/k/a John Camp) is a journalist at heart and he can churn out books like he does because he's used to writing on deadline.

Posted by: Robin at October 31, 2008 9:50 AM

That map thing is going to pretty much going to own the rest of my day. Thanks.

Trick. Treats come and go, but a good trick is priceless.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at October 31, 2008 10:03 AM

Wow - Madonna's nickname is... Madge?

Posted by: Matt at October 31, 2008 10:16 AM

love the costume. he looks so much like Mia in that shot!

Posted by: ali at October 31, 2008 10:22 AM

The gepgraphy map is really hard! Owen is a cute little lobster! Hmmm, I'll go for the treat! Happy Halloween!

Posted by: Dianna at October 31, 2008 10:26 AM

All right, I am a complete curmudgeon, but even I have to admit that photo is adorable.

Did you use the phrase "sex sessions" or is that the actual language. Hilarious.

Posted by: Gramps at October 31, 2008 11:32 AM

I'm pretty sure Madonna went off the deep end a long, long time ago, and it's perhaps just coming to light.....

And I want treats. All the time, I want treats. Happy Halloween!

Posted by: k8 at October 31, 2008 11:36 AM

Lemme have a bucket of butter to eat that Owen Lobster whole! He's. So. Cuuuuuuute!

He wins the cutest Halloween baby for now. I'm pretty sure Dresden as Yoda might just beat this much cutenss. ;-D

Posted by: oakmonster at October 31, 2008 11:53 AM

Seriously, one of the cutest photos i have ever seen.

Posted by: Jenn at October 31, 2008 12:28 PM


Must get myself one of those ADORABLE lobsters!

As for totally ridiculus things, check out this one http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/gadgets-gizmos/usb-gadgets/usb-humping-dog/index.html I want it! Wouldn't it look great on my desk at work??

Posted by: zanie at October 31, 2008 12:47 PM

I'm going to use that one tonight on the husband "you are required to do me". Although it won't be scientific research because I could say "the roof is leaking" and he would oblige. I can cough, scratch my nose....all means the same thing to him, spoken words are not even required in my house. He interprets it all as "do me". ha!

Posted by: Kristy at October 31, 2008 12:50 PM

"And Madonna must continue to be a neurotic tramp."

As for the rest of this, I couldn't get past the baby. Sorry. I'm sure you said something profound. :)

Posted by: Mr Lady at October 31, 2008 2:12 PM

Lucas Davenport is my fictional great-uncle!!

Posted by: Jess at October 31, 2008 2:24 PM

He is the cutest little lobster ever.

Posted by: Annie at October 31, 2008 3:51 PM

Totally missed Madonna's wedding contract... well, if you're that rick I suppose you can the man your slave. Or something like that. Wonder which clause of the contract he broke.

Treat.. it's been a rough week.

Posted by: Nat at November 1, 2008 11:36 AM

I'm a huge fan of Guy Ritchie's and couldn't believe he stayed with that nutjob as long as he did. This contract crap is just icing on the "I can't stand her" cake.

Love the photo of Owen! It's adorable.

Posted by: coolchick at November 1, 2008 5:39 PM

Thanks ...I now know what I am going to get my mom for her upcoming birthday. She is a Sanford fan and saw that book and put it down and said "Oh its not a Pray book it won't be as good". I am gonna get it anyway :D

Posted by: Amy at November 2, 2008 12:29 AM

Ok, so I think it's wacky to put that all in a contract, and obviously, she's listening to some goofy people. At the same time, let's boil this down:

1) My husband should want to help me be happy
2) My husband should understand my religion
3) My husband should not verbally abuse me
4) My husband should set aside time to be intimate with me

I think if it weren't a contract, it would seem a lot like "Do you, Guy Ritchie, promise to love (1), honor (2 and 3), and cherish (4)..?"

She's a nutjob, but I'm not on the bandwagon for this one. Cheating on him with another married man is FAR, far worse to me.

Posted by: alektra at November 2, 2008 8:26 AM

Thanks to you, I will be the proud owner of a shiny new Limbo String in 3-5 business days!

Posted by: matt at November 2, 2008 9:03 AM

I'm greedy; treats all the time.

And that geography game; addicting!

Posted by: Gabriella at November 2, 2008 9:57 PM

That's known that money can make people independent. But how to act when somebody doesn't have money? The one way only is to get the home loans and just short term loan.

Posted by: RosemaryKIRKLAND21 at March 26, 2010 1:31 AM

The baby is pretty.

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