October 20, 2008

Things I Learned This Weekend

This weekend seemed like it lasted either three hours or three years. That can be a mixed blessing. But I've learned a lot, such as:

Colds suck. Mia has a cold. I ended up cuddling with her in our guest bedroom both Friday and Saturday nights. She alternated between returning my cuddle and kicking me in the kidneys. I think I got a combined six hours of sleep over the weekend. I can't complain. Beth had it worse, as Owen slept no longer than a half hour straight throughout the entire weekend.

I cannot be expected to read even the shortest, easiest Backyardigans book at 4:00 in the morning without drifting off and accidentally creating new story lines.

Me: And then King Pablo went to buy a new crown and a beer with Vladimir Putin.
Mia: No daddy. Pablo didn't get beer.
Me: Who said anything about beer?
Mia: You did.
Me: Are you sure? Why are we awake at 4:00 in the morning?

I am a complete and truly dedicated asshole when I am deprived of coffee. I woke up on Sunday morning having gotten little to no sleep due to the aforementioned cold. And there was no coffee in the house containing caffeine. I thought for a minute that I'd try and fool my body by drinking a cup of decaf but I realized I wasn't giving myself enough credit for not being a moron. I spent the first four hours of the day wearing my hoodie (with the hood fully engaged) rocking back and forth trying not to mutter obscenities due to the splitting headache I had. My wife - bless St. Beth - returned from the grocery store with a ginormous cup of Starbucks. My recovery took about five minutes.

Colin Powell isn't quite the idiot I thought he was. After all, endorsing Obama despite what I'm sure was significant pressure from his own party was a pretty big deal.

Beer is good. I have no idea how I did without beer for so long but I'm ready and willing to admit that it was a terrible mistake. I pray to the gods of barley and hops that I am forgiven.

The pledge of allegiance can be insanely adorable given the right delivery. According to Mia, here's the pledge: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United Steaks of Merica, and to the public for which it stands: one nation under God, invisible, with liberty and justices for all.

It takes a village. This weekend was a big one in our tiny little suburban hamlet. There were parades and celebrations and football games. And despite the fact that we live in a seemingly cold and far-flung metroplex the heart of which is our nation's capital, this little town we're in felt pretty small this weekend. In a good way.

My daughter is quite the songstress. Witness the following song she made up in response to Owen's crying.

Don't cry my Owen
I'm your family
And I love you
Like I love the bathroom
You are in my heart
And in my brains

What did you learn this weekend?

Posted by Chris at October 20, 2008 7:05 AM
Comments

1) - nicotine withdraw sucks
2) - Dads, even well respected ones, sometimes live on cloud coo-coo land.
3) - 14 years of marriage later and I still don't feel like an old married lady - even though I probably am one.
4) - My destiny is for *me* to determine.

Posted by: Amber at October 20, 2008 7:31 AM

I learned two things this weekend:
1. Being bad is fun.
2. I'm starting to dread going to bed on Sunday night because it means that Monday morning will be here that much sooner.

Posted by: Hannah at October 20, 2008 7:32 AM

1. Hobo railroad ride. Mia would love this.
2. Entertained my sister and brother in-law!
3. Tried to make Hubby happy about #2. (he doesn't like BIL.
4. Shampooed 3 dachshunds!
5. Went to the drive in at DD for a triple latte light, 4 splenda!
6. Went to bed at 10 and fell instantly asleep!

Posted by: Maribeth at October 20, 2008 7:46 AM

I learned:

1. I like sleep. A lot.
2. I don't like the hours between 3:30 and 5:30 a.m. when I should be SLEEPING.
3. And assorted other marital nonsense.

Posted by: sarah at October 20, 2008 8:01 AM

My biggest lesson this weekend is that while playing Monopoly, a seven year old can turn into a capitalist pig and has the evil laugh to prove it. I may need to write about that later to release it from my brain...

I'm not sure which is funnier, the image of you in the hoodie waiting for the coffee or Mia's song which is an instant CLASSIC.

Posted by: The Stiletto Mom at October 20, 2008 8:52 AM

I learned that when one member of your family has had the flu, strep and bronchitis within a two week period that you should stay the hell away from them. Unfortunately for me, I learned that too late and woke up this morning feeling like Freddy Kruger had gone after my vocal chords with his wonderful slashing techniques.

Beth deserves to be worshipped forever for that Starbucks delivery!

Posted by: js at October 20, 2008 9:07 AM

I learned:
1. just when you truly believe people suck, you meet someone who doesn't.
2. I do foolish, impulsive things.
3. Naps are our friend.

Posted by: diane at October 20, 2008 9:08 AM

We had no real coffee in the house yesterday morning either. I thought I might die. I didn't, thanks to St. Zach, and the espresso & muffins he came home with.

I learned how to make pretzels. It ruled. I will be doing it again sometime soon.

PS - It's never too late to start loving beer, my friend. All is forgiven.

Posted by: Caitlin at October 20, 2008 9:10 AM

I learned:
1. guitar playing kicks my ass, even if it is the Xbox 360 version; I could barely get through the first song, which sadly escapes my mind at the moment but has been leaking out all weekend when I'm randomly humming!
2. Burger King needs a nobel prize for the BK Mocha Joe and the BK by my office needs the congressional medal of honor for selling it in king size.

Posted by: Michelle at October 20, 2008 9:27 AM

Is there anything sweeter than a big sister singing to her baby brother? I think not.

I captured mine on video and posted it last week:
http://talesfromthedadside.blogspot.com/2008/10/i-love-you-baby-boy.html

Posted by: SciFi Dad at October 20, 2008 9:30 AM

1. Sometimes even losing weight does not improve my mood.

2. The people we love the most have the greatest potential to disappoint and upset us.

3. I will never, ever again take extended breaks from horseback riding. The pain is not worth it.

4. My dog is ridiculous levels of gorgeous.

5. Enchilladas make everything better.

Posted by: Kate at October 20, 2008 10:02 AM

I learned that the Tampa Rays are awesome!!!!! I also learned that sometimes the underdog has the biggest bark. I also learned that if you scream for hours you will lose your voice. So worth it.....we won and the world series is now 5 minutes from my front door in st pete, fl.

Posted by: Kristy at October 20, 2008 10:29 AM

I learned that the Tampa Rays are awesome!!!!! I also learned that sometimes the underdog has the biggest bark. I also learned that if you scream for hours you will lose your voice. So worth it.....we won and the world series is now 5 minutes from my front door in st pete, fl.

Posted by: Kristy at October 20, 2008 10:31 AM

I learned that the Tampa Rays are awesome!!!!! I also learned that sometimes the underdog has the biggest bark. I also learned that if you scream for hours you will lose your voice. So worth it.....we won and the world series is now 5 minutes from my front door in st pete, fl.

Posted by: Kristy at October 20, 2008 10:31 AM

I learned how to ride a camel! (It was fun. Bronx Zoo.)

I also learned that sometimes it's necessary to pray for my kitchen to stop flooding, after having the super fix the pipe three times.

Posted by: jessica at October 20, 2008 10:38 AM

I learned that the Tampa Rays are awesome!!!!! I also learned that sometimes the underdog has the biggest bark. I also learned that if you scream for hours you will lose your voice. So worth it.....we won and the world series is now 5 minutes from my front door in st pete, fl.

Posted by: Kristy at October 20, 2008 10:40 AM

You're in my brain? Yep. Doesn't sound sweet, but it is SO sweet at the same time.

Posted by: k8 at October 20, 2008 10:43 AM

Dude. I'm ashamed of you for even having decaf in the house.

Posted by: caleal at October 20, 2008 10:56 AM

1) You can't do everything so why try.
2) Working out makes me want my wife.
3) I love cool weather, but I hate cold weather.

Posted by: DC Urban Dad at October 20, 2008 11:01 AM

I learned that, just as I suspected, I don't really like Widespread Panic! all that much and that I suck at bowling unless it's on Wii, in which case I own.

Posted by: mymilabean at October 20, 2008 11:28 AM

Aw Mia. I had to learn the pledge on the fly when I came to the US. I had no idea what the words were...and I did go for "invisible" the first few times before I realized that doesn't make any sense.

I learned this weekend that Thai massage can straighten you out better than any chiropractor. I mean, seriously. She got me so good I can't even slouch even if I wanted too. And god does my spine want to slouch but my muscles which had been re-trained in that one gloriously "hurt so good" hour won't let me. It's not even comfortable to slouch now.

Posted by: oakley at October 20, 2008 11:29 AM

I learned that German pancakes are tasty and filling, the countryside is very relaxing once you've left it and returned to it as a visitor, and that I love hanging out with my boyfriend's extended family. Who knew...

Oh, and I also just learned that if the guy across the street doesn't stop honking his horn I'm walking down 6 flights of stairs to strangle him.

Posted by: Poppy at October 20, 2008 11:45 AM

"I love you like I love the bathroom." Now THAT'S some serious love, man.

Posted by: GreenCanary at October 20, 2008 11:46 AM

Things I learned this weekend:

1) my 10 year old is the leader of the pack. Every girl in his class has a crush on him. Girls are ALOT more aggressive than I was aware. Time to buy a full body condom for my son.

2) my boys are far more excited about their first "art" purchase than I ever dreamed.

3) two vodka pomegranates and 3 very large, very full glasses of chianti (ok, 3 very large, very full glasses equal one bottle) are too much. And Sunday will be spent on the couch, with every shade drawn, clutching a cup of coffee with the sound down to "barely audible" because the entire world causes pain.

Posted by: Mindy at October 20, 2008 11:50 AM

Love the song! We can all only endeavor to be loved as much as the bathroom.

Posted by: Sandi at October 20, 2008 11:55 AM

I think I just learned how much I love my family this weekend. We had a FABULOUS 3 day family weekend and it sucks that it had to end!

Posted by: Kristin at October 20, 2008 1:34 PM

"I love you like I love the bathroom." This is my favorite part of her song.

1. I slept about half an hour the whole weekend. I've had insomnia for years and I'm still not used to it.
2. The older I get the less tolerant I am of people who drop by without calling.
3. I have a lot of books.

Posted by: Maria at October 20, 2008 1:45 PM

I learned that "doing too much" in a weekend used to mean being a little sore on Monday. Now that I'm a bit older, it means propping up swollen ankles and shopping for groceries on Monday night.

I love Mia's song. Kids are the gateway to the human spirit. So wonderful.

Posted by: Brad at October 20, 2008 1:54 PM

You won't publish anyways but what the hell. I think its funny that Colin Powel is no longer an idiot just because he's endorsing Noboma. Because somebody might hava a differnet point of view, they must be idiots? How closed minded of you!!

Posted by: jojo at October 20, 2008 2:40 PM

I learned what 41 feels like. A lot like 40.

Posted by: Jodi at October 20, 2008 3:59 PM

I have been a strict vegetarian for almost 20 years now, but the United Steaks of Merica? Yes, please!

Posted by: Librarian Girl at October 20, 2008 7:16 PM

that my two teenage children have no concept for money.

sorry to hear mia is sick and owen too. and yeah totally get the lack of caffeine headache. those suck!!

hope this weekend is a better one for you and your clan.

Posted by: kimmyk at October 20, 2008 7:45 PM

I had a Sam Adams Octoberfest tonight. If you haven't had any yet, I recommend it. It's SO good. But just wait -- in a month or two, they'll roll out the winter lager. SO. GOOD.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at October 20, 2008 10:30 PM

I had a Sam Adams Octoberfest tonight. If you haven't had any yet, I recommend it. It's SO good. But just wait -- in a month or two, they'll roll out the winter lager. SO. GOOD.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at October 20, 2008 10:31 PM

I learnt that haloumi AND bacon may well be THE perfect breakfast combo.

Oh and that my daughter can say "plane" up to 4870 times in any one car trip (5-10 mins in duration) in the hope of seeing another one. I think she thinks if you say it...they will come.

Posted by: Beth at October 20, 2008 11:41 PM

i love love love it that you are drinking beer. i don't know why, but i am slightly mistrustful of the non-drinking. now i am no longer slightly mistrustful of you. now you can come to colorado and hang out with us. i don't care if you drink while you are here, but just that you might is good enough for me. bring beth and kids too. it will be fun.

Posted by: Amy at October 20, 2008 11:43 PM

Your daughter, my gosh. She kills me!

Posted by: Dianna at October 21, 2008 1:12 PM


DEC08_RECENT.jpg


DEC08_ARCHIVE.jpg