November 12, 2008

Don't You Wish Your Husband Was Hot Like Me

When it comes to jammies - like the baby jesus, the possibility of an Abba reunion, and the benefits of an entirely raw diet - I'm somewhat of a non-believer. My default nighttime wardrobe consists of precisely nothing. But when there are kids in the picture - kids who wake up requiring attention in the middle of the night - freeballing (like the Tom Petty song, right?) isn't the most convenient option. Now that the weather's turned chilly, it seems as though the universe is conspiring against me and my night nudism. Over the past couple of months, I've intermittently caved to the whims of the universe. Add to that the fact that when I sleep I enjoy being buried under as many covers as is humanly possible. There's a giant lump on my side of the bed most nights. I start miles underneath.

With that in mind, fast forward to this morning.

When I got up and made it out from under those miles of blankets, I headed to the bathroom to get myself all clean and ready for work. I looked in the mirror and saw something that truly frightened me. Myself. I'm used to seeing my naked self and I'd like to think that's not terrifying. It was my wardrobe. Last night when I'd woken up to see what was wrong with Mia (because she's been doing that waking up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason thing) I'd quickly protected myself against the cold by throwing on a Pink Floyd concert t-shirt, dark green pajama bottoms and brown polka dot socks. And the fact that I own polka dot socks is, by itself, mildly traumatizing. But worse was the fact that I'd tucked my pajama bottoms into the socks so the legs wouldn't ride up in the night.

I? Am hott. With two Ts.

What do you wear at night? And what's your most embarrassing ensemble?

Posted by Chris at November 12, 2008 6:26 AM

HA, priceless.

1) My Dad had the same problem. When we were kids we thought it was hilarious to talk about "Dad's Pajamas". Sometimes we still tease him about it.

2) Heck YES I have something to say about what embarrassing garb I wear to bed! In fact, I enjoy writing about probably more often than is prudent.

Posted by: Caitlin at November 12, 2008 7:00 AM

Flannel ski pajamas (yes they have little skiers on them) with two pairs of heavy fluffy socks and then old Merrill clogs (not to bed, just around the house)Oh yeah and the jammies are green mostly and the socks are fuchsia.

Posted by: Maribeth at November 12, 2008 7:14 AM

oversized t-shirt and the junk that goes under that. the boy is constantly trying to get me to wear shorts when i'm downstairs, but i think we could just keep the blinds closed at night, yes?

oh, and on weekends. and any other time i don't wear pants...

pants are for chumps!

Posted by: alektra at November 12, 2008 7:19 AM

As long as you didn't wear it to work -- I reckon it's ok. Sleepwear doesn't count.

As a new mom, I think I could have been a candidate on "What not to wear." And I could have taken Tracy and the other guy too.

Posted by: Nat at November 12, 2008 7:42 AM

When I am home, I'm rarely dressed in street clothes. My wardrobe of choice is pajamas and I'm not embarassed by any of them regardless of what my husband says.

I have a wonderful collection of pajamas and nightshirts featuring coffee cups, Mickey Mouse, dogs, snowflakes, Milkbones, I Love Lucy, etc. I try to always match my pajamas and my fuzzy socks.

What?! You don't think this is a sexy look. :-)

Posted by: Maria at November 12, 2008 7:59 AM

Funny, I just posted about the baby Jesus, too. Great minds. i go for big tee shirts, jammie pants, but no socks. Hate socks under covers. Dead sexy. Emphasis on dead.

So other than with the awesome outfit described, what DO you wear the polka dot socks with? : )

Posted by: OS at November 12, 2008 8:03 AM

Hott, indeed.

Since I'm chronically cold, and my husband is a cheap ass who turns the thermostat way down when I'm not looking, sleep attire is usually a long sleeve tshirt and pj or yoga pants. No, not hott at all - but seeing as my 3 year old likes to wake up in the middle of the night lately, and then wakes up for the day before I can even rub two thoughts together, it's kinda practical too.

(But no socks.)

Posted by: Sarah at November 12, 2008 8:09 AM

My husband, a naked sleeper, has constantly tried to get me to sleep naked also - the whole "you stay warmer theory" but as a native new englander I never bought it (cold and naked? no thanks). Although I DID give up the long underwear under flannel pjs with heavy socks for a more comfortable, less confining and slightly more attractive for my husband tank top and Life Is Good shorts.

Posted by: NancyJak at November 12, 2008 8:10 AM

In the summertime, I sleep in as little as possible. But never totally nude, because I have a little one that climbs into bed next to me at least 3 times a week and that just seems creepy. In the wintertime, I'll sleep in flannel pajama pants, a sweatshirt, and sometimes a t-shirt under the sweatshirt. But NEVER EVER socks. I can't stand to sleep in socks.

I have some bright green flannel pants with sheep all over them...they look great paired with my Dallas Cowboys sweatshirt...or, even better, my camo sweatshirt :-)

Posted by: Alissa at November 12, 2008 8:20 AM

My husband is also p.j.-challenged and REFUSES to sleep in any of the ensembles I buy for him!

I, however, am addicted to Old Navy's pajamas b/c they are cute (some, even sexy), coordinated and comfy. I may wake up looking like a mess, but I will not go to sleep looking like one!

Posted by: Robyn at November 12, 2008 8:23 AM

I wear pajamas. It's my goal to one day own sets and matching pajamas, but right now it's mostly mismatched t-shirts that don't deserve to see the real world anymore.

The worst was after a party my roommates and I had, we had a friend stay over. Who loves her camera. And I put on the closest thing to me for pajamas, because I was drunk. And for some reason this included super short shorts, a t-shirt, and some socks- the kind with the two or three stripes up top, that come up to your knee? I gave her a thumbs up, she took a picture, long story short, I looked like Borat.

Posted by: Caleal at November 12, 2008 8:25 AM

Just pajama bottoms. :o)

Posted by: Elizabeth at November 12, 2008 8:31 AM

Damn, Sarah said what I was gonna say...hott indeed.

I don't do the whole sleeping nude thing. I don't enjoy it though my husband regularly does. I usually sleep in what ever old yoga/workout pants, workout shorts I have handy and a tank top (this might lend you to believe that I actually workout a lot but alas this is untrue). Sometimes I actually wear real pj's but not often. And no socks...hate socks to sleep in. My toes need to breathe. Since I'm the last person to go to bed and the first on up no one really ever sees what I wear to bed, so it's all good.

Posted by: jen at November 12, 2008 8:32 AM

Nude. Except when I'm forced to because I can't get warm, so then maybe a t-shirt.

I remember growing up in New England and thinking I was very clever because I wore the clothes to bed that I needed to wear the next day. I got up all toasty warm. Unfortunately, my parents figured that one out pretty quickly...

Posted by: Hannah at November 12, 2008 8:45 AM

Don't the kids have problems with seeing you naked, by the way?

Posted by: Hannah at November 12, 2008 8:46 AM

Oh, how I wish we had a picture of this.... I, too, am a night nudist, however, since the divorced, I've been afraid that for some reason, I'll need to sprint from the house in the middle of the night. Why? I don't know. Perhaps the house catches on fire. And maybe I can't get to clothes. Running into the street sans-clothes freaks me out. So I've taken to wearing knee-length nightgowns (so I won't be naked in the street) and socks (I read the socks help regulate your body temperature and allow you to sleep better).

Posted by: Emily at November 12, 2008 8:49 AM

LOL I have pjs for different occasions. Winter it's cotton pants and a tank top, summer it's cotton boy shorts and tank top and when I'm with a boy it's lingerie or nekkid. LOL

Posted by: Deirdre at November 12, 2008 9:02 AM

I wear a hoodie, hood up (I like my head covered when it's cold outside, but I don't like to get dutch ovened on a nightly basis). Some sort of elastic waisted pants, which are not in the plenty at my house. I generally despise sweatpants and pajama bottoms but I think it's time to invest because the ones I have are gross and if there is ever a fire and I'm caught outside in these things the firemen will point and laugh. I'm in the ridiculous sock club too. My current bedtime favorites are these pink chenille-ish things that were part of a Halloween costume last year.
Maybe I'll break down and buy a real set of pj's. It's just that they are all so stupid looking. Unlike my current ensemble...

Posted by: lora at November 12, 2008 9:05 AM

Aww, that's precious. Polka-dot socks. I have a hard time finding PJs because I like to wear shorts and a short-sleeved tee. I can't wear nightgowns or sleepshirts because they end up somewhere in the vicinity of my armpits and I feel like I'm choking. Same thing with pants, except they end up all twisted around my legs. All I can ever find in the stores are pants-and-tank-top combinations or tees-with-tiny-shorts-that-are-more-like-underwear combinations. So I get my sleepwear from Modell's. That's right, I technically wear workout gear to bed. Makes sense, I guess, considering how much I try to get out of bed and do things in my sleep.

Posted by: Fraulein N at November 12, 2008 9:09 AM

LOL well I have different pjs for different occasions. I hate to be hot. So for winter I wear cotton pj drawstring pants and a tank top, in summer boy shorts and a tank top and if I'm with a guy, lingerie or nekkid. LOL

Posted by: Deirdre at November 12, 2008 9:12 AM

I am usually warm and like to be able to burrow under blankets so either a tank top and undies or nothing. My house is ridiculously warm. Can't sleep with socks on and only do PJ pants to sleep if it's actually cold in my house.
I have a great collection of character pajama pants though for around the house.

So once I have kids not only won't I ever pee alone again, but I'll also have to be conscious of making sure I'm decent for bed!?

Posted by: diane at November 12, 2008 9:25 AM

I was down with your entire ensemble up until the point you tucked your pj pants INTO your socks. That made me snort my tea. Thanks.

I used to layer and wear a ton to bed but I quickly figured out that that was keeping me awake. Although I'm cold on a regular basis, layering got me too hot. TMI? Oh well. I never, ever wear socks to bed and I end up with the covers OVER my head more often than I should. I think I'm melting my brain cells by doing that.

Posted by: Holly at November 12, 2008 9:32 AM

I wasn't a night nudist until I met my husband, and then converted. Now that we have a son, I realize that I need to be covered up, so I'm starting out with pants only. No socks, though, I can't deal with them!
I do keep a bathrobe on the floor next to me, a pepto bismol pink one I got as a gift. Of course, I've lost the belt, and I am using the belt of the robe I had while pregnant, which is bright turquoise, and of a completely different material. Sizzlin'!

Posted by: jane at November 12, 2008 9:36 AM

In winter, it's always a pair of fleece pajama pants from some place like Aeropostale, a t-shirt, and some furry lined slippers. Embarrassing would be if I pulled out the pants with little skulls on them... that have a gigantic hole in the crotch but I just haven't thrown them out yet.

Posted by: Claire at November 12, 2008 9:38 AM

I was a nudist at night too. But now it's just not practical. I love pajamas though - so I have lots of them. I'm sure my husband wishes I'd visit the "special" drawer more but about 99.5% of the time it's a matchy plaid set of cotton or flannel pj's.

Posted by: Cass at November 12, 2008 9:42 AM

Pajama bottoms. Flannel. Always. If I'm in the house and not leaving anytime soon, the pajama bottoms are hugging my ass. Saturday college football marathons? All pajamas, all day. If I have people over to share in this marathon or for dinner or drinks, they know what they can expect to see on my ass. I tell them that they can wear whatever they want, because they know that I won't be 'dressing up' for the occasion.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at November 12, 2008 9:45 AM

haha, this made me laugh, for I too, was like you :) However, since having a child, and subsequently moving into a house, it's now freezing at night here in the northeast. I've resorted to cotton pj's for now, but shortly moving into the flannel-not-unattractive-but-very-warm pj's. Socks every night are a must. and now I have our mini-daschund sleeping with us (ok she prefers me to my husband). At least the pj's match :)

Posted by: Jean at November 12, 2008 9:47 AM

I wear a size xl (or maybe xxl) man's short sleeve tee shirt with a logo of some island vacation. Actually, I have two of these shirts.

I'm sure it looks just lovely. I am not a large person, and the shirt is.

Posted by: cassie-b at November 12, 2008 9:50 AM

Mine was a nightgown I bought in the last months of my first pregnancy. I was too big for my other pjs and wanted something comfortable. Not willing to fork over the dough for maternity pjs, I opted a very roomy white night gown with little blue flowers, what might be more suited for a grandmother than a 28 year old. It was so comfortable, I wore it throughout the next 4 years. We started to call it the "Ruth gown" after the mother on Six Feet Under, because it is precisely the pajamas she would have worn. I threw it away a couple of months ago because it was getting holes and quite atrocious, but I really do miss it.

Posted by: Kim at November 12, 2008 9:57 AM

ermmm... either a short or long sleeved t-shirt gown depending on the season. Usually short sleeved - my husband turns into a furnace at nite!

Posted by: Sue R at November 12, 2008 10:00 AM

Dude way to go for the sexy award!

I prefer sleeping in the buff but lately a tshirt. It really is easier to go around clothed when the child wakes up in the middle of the night. Or crawls into bed with you.

Occasionally I sleep in an old pair of hospital scrubs. My most embarassing ensemble is a pair of bright pink hello kitty fuzzy flannel PJs that fit perfectly and are the most comfortable thing I own.

Socks are always white, black, or grey.

Posted by: jessica at November 12, 2008 10:01 AM

It's the polka dotted socks that really make the ensemble.

I sleep in a ratty soft t-shirt. I'm a big fan of being weighed down by a pile of blankets too -- as long as I can stick my feet out from under the covers.

Posted by: bad penguin at November 12, 2008 10:18 AM

I'm a yoga pants and t-shirt kind of gal. And no matter the things that happen that mean your clothes come off in bed? I have to put them back on or I can't sleep. I feel too exposed.

Posted by: k8 at November 12, 2008 10:20 AM

I used to sleep with roomy XL t-shirt and silk boxers, as in guys' underwear kind of silk boxers. I used to buy 'em cheap in Thailand in all sorts of silly prints, smiley faces, lipstick prints, animal prints, etc. Even when it's cold, I still couldn't waer pants to bed. I'd just throw on socks and extra blankets.

With Brandon, I've come to learn to wear a smile to sleep and LOVE the electric blanket. Occasionally I'll just grab Brandon's shirt off the floor or the hamper to just be decent. More than one occasion I'd wear that either backward or inside out or both!

Posted by: oakley at November 12, 2008 11:06 AM

T-shirt and underwear. I hate cold shoulders.

My most embarrassing get-up is probably something that's too small for me, which I tend to wear when I know I'm going to get really dirty. Last night I fixed a tire on my truck and wore too-short jeans and a too-short-sleeved sweatshirt.

Posted by: Brad at November 12, 2008 11:09 AM

I'm in a love/hate relationship with my jammies. I LOVE to sleep in my Army (from basic training) t-shirt that is 20 years old. My boyfriend HATES it with a passion. He, of course, would rather I were a silk little number (that I brave on occasion); but I prefer not to slip slide around under the covers with the possibility of strangulation from those spaghetti straps!

Maybe I should consider the nude thing as a happy medium...but I think I wait til summer!

Posted by: grenade girl at November 12, 2008 11:16 AM

Hysterical. My S/O laughs at me when I go to bed - he of course is in the buff normally and I'm in a tshirt and undies...

He says what is wrong with you how can you sleep in clothing? I reply with well my job is risk management and what if our house catches on fire and we have to jump out the window? I surely don't think my neighbors want to see me naked.

He thinks I'm nuts.

Posted by: DMM at November 12, 2008 11:21 AM

After that description don't we deserve a picture? I mean, with the socks tucked in and all. I wear pajama bottoms and whatever shirt I wore that day for a little while before bed, but just sleep without the bottoms. I can't stand to have them twist in the sheets when I roll over.

Posted by: Dianna at November 12, 2008 11:39 AM

I sleep under a MILE of blankets, too, and I wrap myself in them, but I also sleep with no less than 18 layers of clothes on. Sweats, tshirts, socks that get kicked off in the middle of the night, you name it.

I really don't ever want to have sex again.

Posted by: Mr Lady at November 12, 2008 12:17 PM

OMG!! My husband SOOOO does that! And then, he'll walk around the house on the weekends in that sad, tucked pant leg state. I've long had a suspicion that you and my husband were separated at birth. I'm afraid this (and the miles of blankets) confirms it.

Posted by: kate at November 12, 2008 12:31 PM

Nice visual, Chris. You made me snork out loud here.

Since the farmhouse has no heat upstairs (oh there are vents in the floors, as heat rises, but it skips the second floor, I guess the attic is cozy) In February, when the wind howls across the fields, it's big wooly socks, these awesome fleece sweatpants and a big wooly sweater. And maybe long johns too. The bed has a down quilt on it and maybe Grandma's big quilt. When it's not so chee-lay, it's just a t-shirt. And boxers. I love me some boxers. Obbie does not.

Posted by: Ames at November 12, 2008 1:10 PM


I freeze almost all winter. My comfort zone is small. Hence, I sleep in flannels of whatever I can find them in most of the winter. When I'm very cold, I also wear ragg socks to bed. All of this despite, a sheet, quilt and a heavy blanket being on the bed all winter long.

The rest of the year, I generally sleep in tank tops and pajama pants.

Posted by: One Mom's Opinion at November 12, 2008 1:52 PM

I went to a lingerie party a few months ago and they asked us to bring in a brown paper bag the contents that we wear to bed each night. Easy. My bag was empty.

Posted by: Kristy at November 12, 2008 1:52 PM

i am with you-- a night-time nudist. since the babies are old enough to come into my room at night on their own, though, i deal with wearing a tank top and the smallest booty shorts possible.

Posted by: b. at November 12, 2008 1:56 PM

First, thank you for getting that song stuck in my head. It is *awesome* to hum that as you walk around an elementary school trying to get work done ;-)

Second- in the winter time I am always cold. Colder than usual. I hate to be cold so I bundle up. I have a pair of sweatpants from my former job that are bright blue and say "Beavers Phys Ed" on them (yes, that was the mascott of the middle school I worked at). They are either double XL or triple XL. This was just a little baggy at first, but now that I've lost 30 pounds they are GINORMOUS. I wear with this one of my boyfriends 3XL long sleeved shirts that hangs to my knees, and a pair of poofy beige wool socks. I am seeeeeeeeeeexy, let me tell you.

Posted by: Kate at November 12, 2008 2:21 PM

Tangent story - when my husband and I were first dating, he kept saying we were not going to see each other every night and neglect our other lives. I agreed. One night I was at my apartment dressed in baggy fleece pajamas I'd had since high school, no make up, hair up on top of my head. A garbage sack would have been more flattering than these pj's. Hubby called and told me he was outside my door. I thought he was kidding until he rang the doorbell. I was mortified but could do nothing other than let him in. I later dismembered the pj's and made a heart shaped pillow out of them for Valentine's Day one year.

Posted by: Shelly at November 12, 2008 2:33 PM

I'm usually a non-believer too, as far as PJs are concerned, but right now I'm visiting my mum so it's an oversized shirt and sweats. And I have tons of polka dot socks (and stripes, too. Today they're hot pink.)

Posted by: Heather at November 12, 2008 2:42 PM

SOCK TUCKER!!! I LOL at you.

I can't stand sleeping in socks. If it's very cold, I wear them when I go to bed, but I take them off as soon as I am warm. It bugs me.

Posted by: jodi at November 12, 2008 3:35 PM

Hubby and I are both night-time nudists, although I almost always sleep with socks on as my feet get so cold. In winter I sometimes will sleep in track pants and a long top, but the hubby generates so much heat, it's seldom necessary. However, one night we heard noises and hubby got up to investigate. Now, hubby doesn't like switching the light on if at all possible (we are both really sensitive to light) so of course he got dressed in the dark and then went to investigate. He couldn't work out why his clothing felt so uncomfortable. It was only when he came back to the room and I'd switched the light on that we realized he'd pulled clothes from my shelf of the cupboard and was consequently wearing my pants :-) (he's pretty skinny and while we can get away with wearing each others stuff, it's a snug fit). I'm not much better. I have ended up putting on tops backwards AND inside out more than once.

Posted by: Delia at November 12, 2008 3:36 PM

Oh, that image made me laugh so hard! In the summer, I'm a tank top and underwear or cute nighty kind of girl. In the winter, it's sleep pants, a tee-shirt and socks. I never match though, so I look a mess.

Posted by: La Petite Chic at November 12, 2008 3:59 PM

I can't sleep nude. Especially not next to my hot wife. Geez - will only have one thing on my mid. Love track pants and no shirt. Sometimes just basketball shorts will do it.

Posted by: DC Urban Dad at November 12, 2008 4:50 PM

You sound just as sexy as my husband, except he was in navy blue bottoms and an Ibanez t-shit that was 2 sizes too small and tinted pink from the wash. Completed with man belly poking out the bottom.

Me? I sleep in whatever fits right now, usually one of Stewarts shirts and my oh-so-sexy maternity underwear..... no pants because they piss me off right about now.

Posted by: Sleepynita at November 12, 2008 5:23 PM

The super comfy five year old purple two piece Peanuts pjs with ankle cuffs, leopard print fuzzy slippers, stringy hair, and chocolate streaks around my mouth I was wearing when-
I had to come out of hiding in the corner of the kitchen to answer the door for UPS and sign for that package last week.
That is the most recent anyway.

Posted by: Karen at November 12, 2008 6:16 PM

I'm still, even with a 5 year old and 10 year old boy and as a single mom, a nude sleeper. If my kids wake up for any reason, I pull on the robe beside my bed. I cannot stand sleeping in clothes. At all.

And for the question about do your kids see you naked? Yeah. Every once in awhile. They do. My 6 year old (boy) doesn't care yet. My 10 year old (boy) always comes barging into my room, then points out "MOM! You are naked!" while I point out "dude, my door was closed."

Boundaries. We are trying to learn boundaries.

Posted by: Mindy at November 12, 2008 6:36 PM

when at home, wear as casual night clothes as possible, usually long old shirt but in bed nada

Posted by: raino at November 12, 2008 6:37 PM

- at home alone it's almost always the purple- or the mint green! I have two pair- of the Peanuts jammies.
When the boyfriend is over or I am there, I go for a cute nightgown (hey, I have a guy friend who loves it when his wife wears flannel pj's ;-)
and, umm, actually shaving.

Posted by: Karen at November 12, 2008 6:42 PM

I'm definitely a non-nudist. I absolutely cannot sleep nekkid. And I can't sleep in socks. Somehow they end up on the floor beside the bed during the night. But then, I never wear socks in the daytime either. My feet like going commando. As for jammies, most nights I sleep in a long t-shirt or cotton nightie. It has to be cotton. I won't sleep in anything synthetic. It skeeves my skin out.

Posted by: coolchick at November 12, 2008 9:48 PM

Ever since we were broken in on during the wee hours of the morning, I have to sleep in some type of shorts/boxers/pj pants. There I was being held at gun point in a t-shirt and panties..not so much fun. Anyway, boxers and a tank top are my regular bed time wear.

Posted by: C.C at November 12, 2008 10:12 PM

Right now with 3 kids under 3: I wear pajamas that I do not mind getting up in at least 3-7 times a night in. What I used to wear? Nothing. AND NEVER socks!

There's a statistic out there that says people who wear socks to bed sleep better than people who don't, so kudos to you:

Oddest nighttime ensemble? I slept in a old fashioned women's dorm in college (40 bunks in one room - yes, I know it sounds horrible). They would leave the windows open to prevent germs, or something. So in the winter I wore a friend's hunting camoflage snowsuit. Every night for 3 months.

Posted by: nora at November 12, 2008 10:26 PM

You are gonna see really soon. And see lots of what Denverites wear. We are having a Pajama Party + Wine Tasting this weekend. Not kidding.

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at November 12, 2008 11:01 PM

Well, I have an almost teenage boy so the whole nudity thing is just not gonna happen, lest I want to pay for therapy (his or mine, you take a guess)!

I have a few pairs of real comfy satin pj bottoms that I mix and match with old t-shirts. They don't always match that well. Plus I wear socks because my feet get cold.

Posted by: Scatteredmom at November 12, 2008 11:18 PM

And that my friend, is why you don't get dressed in the dark.

I too sleep under a giant pile of blankets, so that means that I sleep in as little as possible - t-shirt and boy shorts. Enough to keep the important parts covered (in case a cat tries to crawl under said covers), but cool enough to handle the ginormous down comforter. But no matter what, I make sure they match!

Posted by: Mandy Lou at November 12, 2008 11:31 PM

I am cracking up over the title. Too funny!

What is the chance you'll post a photo of your polka dot PJ outfit? :)

Posted by: Nadine at November 13, 2008 6:13 AM

ha! that's hilarious. My husband bugs me all the time because I also enjoy walking around the house like I was brought into the world.. lol the only problem is that we live in a ranch-style house and I often forget to close the curtains... hehe

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