November 24, 2008

In Sickness and Health

This weekend was rough. Really rough.

Before we had Owen, a coworker with two kids took me aside and, in a fit of wisdom, told me something like hey, don't worry - having two isn't like it's double the work or anything. If he was still working with me, I'd pose a question to him: what the fuck were you smoking and what planet are you on?. He's right about one thing. It's not double the work. It's about three times the work. Imagine a Venn diagram. Once circle represents Kid 1, the other Kid 2. And in the middle, where those two circles overlap represents The Combined Kid Responsible For The Three Loads of Laundry A Day And The Five Times You Have To Run The Dishwasher. It's a force to be reckoned with. And it's more work when they both get together and get sick at the same time, when they both cough more than you thought possible and the one who needs sleep the most boycotts it altogether.

On Friday night, Owen decided to institute a complete ban on sleep. Of course, this meant that neither Beth nor I were to get any either. Surprisingly, a coughing, snotty Mia did manage to sleep through the night. On Saturday, Mia and I skipped her morning swimming class due to the rampant case of The Ick and also canceled - for the second time - dinner with some local blogger friends. Saturday night was better as far as the sleep thing went. But not by much. I found out that I can fit into Owen's crib pretty well. Getting out was rough. Then on Sunday, I learned an important lesson - it's really easy to spend $200 at Target.

This weekend wasn't the most exciting nor was it the most pleasant. But I got to spend some time with my wife and kids. And sure, there was lots of whining, coughing and some heavy-duty screaming, but that kinda goes with the territory. What's better is the fact that this is a two-day week for me. Yep, I'm working today and tomorrow then taking the rest of the week off. Now that's something to be thankful for.

So, to recap, lessons learned for the weekend:
- Two kids? Lots of work.
- Kids who don't sleep? Bad.
- Based on the weather, winter is here.
- Grey's Anatomy? Totally jumped the shark (again) with that whole knockin' boots with the dead thing.
- My son will eat anything, including the stuff we don't want him to eat.
- It's way too easy to spend money at Target.
- It's early. I need coffee.

What did you do this weekend? What important lessons have you learned recently? What's the worst parenting advice you ever got? And what are your Thanksgiving plans?

Posted by Chris at November 24, 2008 6:25 AM

I also have a 2-day week, and then I am taking off to the beach for Thanksgiving. I need this 5 day weekend like a crackhead needs a fix!

Posted by: Stephanie at November 24, 2008 7:02 AM

i put a bunch of blow up thingies in the front yard..lights come tonight (maybe - its supposed to snow)... thanksgiving is with a couple of girls we call mom and dad... i read kite runner.. that one left a mark ... no kids... but i always asked questions of parents i knew... like how do you discipline a child for doing all the things you did when you were younger?

Posted by: the unicorn at November 24, 2008 7:20 AM

Ohhhh, I am so with you on the Grey's Shark jumping thing. You just don't get busy with dead people. I have two theories about it - neither are good and both fall in line with, "Yup they jumped the shark."

Two kids - I'm agreeing there too. Fortunately, mine were not sick this weekend - but my stepson was here throwing ONE MORE KID into the mix. If you think TWO is a lot? Try two plus a teenager with numerous behavioral and mental health issues. I managed to get through the weekend without drinking, but I did eat a lot of chocolate.

Posted by: Sarah at November 24, 2008 8:08 AM

Our cruise finished up yesterday in San Juan, and we had to leave the high 80's and return home to 15 fricken' degrees!
Hubby also expects me to cook, do laundry and clean up now that we are home, which leads me to believe that I should have packed our cabin steward in my luggage and not all those dirty clothes.

Posted by: Maribeth at November 24, 2008 8:18 AM

1) Bought a pretty dress for $35. Need to get it taken in, because women's dresses only come with one number. Bastards. (Oh, and worked, duh.)

2) That hot guy from high school? Might have had a crush on you, too. No, teenage insecure girls reading this blog, I am not joking, and I was the nerdiest of nerds in high school.

3) Be your kid's best friend.

4) Going to the Boy's family. Woo!

Posted by: alektra at November 24, 2008 8:40 AM

Um, well, my weekend was crappy, because on weekends I don't have anything to stop me falling into the sinkhole. (By the way, depression = bad. But I think you knew that.)
I don't have any Thanksgiving plans, since it was six weeks ago ;) But! Tomorrow is my birthday so that might perk things up a bit. Or I might get depressed all over again about how I'm still alone and a quarter of a century old.
Oh good grief, this is sad isn't it?
A friend is throwing me what I'm sure will be an awesome party on Friday! THAT will be a good thing! Huzzah!
(Ok, that's better.)

Posted by: Heather at November 24, 2008 8:54 AM

We had a busy weekend - visiting friends, and working on Christmas presents. I'm a glutton for punishment, and make a lot of my gifts. This year the big time draw was making 6 afghans for the grandchildren of very good friends. I know we're not really related, but I think of them as family. So I spent quite a bit of time this weekend finishing up. Another couple of days, and I should be finished with them.

Our sons (2) were 7 years apart, and I thought that having two children so far apart would be so easy -- NOT! I don't care what their ages are, two children are a lot more work than one. But the rewards make it all worth while. And don't they look beautiful when they're asleep?

Enjoy your time off.

Posted by: cassie-b at November 24, 2008 9:21 AM

Nice. My wife's grandmother had four and claims that 4 was easier that 1. I call bullshit.

I am still learning that patience or learning to have some is not a one and done. It is a journey.

I am also learning there are worse things than being up between 2:30 and 3:30 with an awake 6 month old. Perspective is hard to come by sometimes.

Have a great Turkey Day! I will be taking off Wed and Fri. Wed just to be with the kid alone. Father / daughter day.

Posted by: DC Urban Dad at November 24, 2008 10:02 AM

This weekend we came back from vacation!!! It was a wonderful trip to the Ozarks, we did some fishing, some caving, a lot of sleeping and were made to feel right at home with the wonderful people we stayed with. It was the best trip we've had in a long time.

The most important lesson I've been trying to learn lately is that as much as I want to, I can't control everything around me. It's a difficult lesson, and I still fight with it, but I'm starting to get there. Last week was a good lesson in letting go and just enjoying what's going on right now.

I don't have kids, so no bad advice there.

I just found out yesterday that we have family coming to our house for Thanksgiving. It's a good thing I'm well rested, cuz now I have to do a massive house cleaning. Then it's time to start on our holiday baking - homemade gifts for everyone this year!

Posted by: Sherri at November 24, 2008 10:02 AM

What did you do this weekend? Went to a NIN concert with friends in a college town. NICE.

What important lessons have you learned recently? I think I've learned that you can be a great dad and still have a few things to yourself.

What's the worst parenting advice you ever got? Gosh, I don't take much advice because I'm a big egotistical idiot. No, jk. Just this weekend I was told to give my kids a "thump on the head" if they get out of line.

And what are your Thanksgiving plans? All families come together for one big feast, and I love it. We show up early and leave late.

Posted by: Brad at November 24, 2008 10:06 AM

Sold jewelry at a two day (9-5) Christmas Gift & Craft show.

Never underestimate the importance of sleep before craft/gift shows. You can't sell the peeps stuff if you've passed out under the table.

None. No kids, no parenting advice.

Going to Big Momma's house for turkey and stuffing, but no potatoes and gravy. She does not believe in them because they're 'loaded with fat and calories' for real. She does not know we make turkey and the fixings over the weekend, including potatoes and gravy.

Posted by: Ames at November 24, 2008 10:08 AM

I have one kid, and people always make comments like, "oh, but if you had TWO...."

Of course once they meet him they say stuff like, "Jake? Oh my Lord, I can't even IMAGINE two of him. He's like three kids stuffed into one body!"

My response?
"You should've seen him when he was four."

It's easy to spend $200 at Canadian Tire (hardware/house hold stuff store), too.

Posted by: Scatteredmom at November 24, 2008 10:27 AM

I miss turkey. And stuffing. And gravy! And mashed potatoes! And the hecticness... that at least you get the next day to recover from. I miss Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday. Enjoy!

Posted by: Hannah at November 24, 2008 11:24 AM

I worked 10+ hours both days this weekend.
I worked both days and managed to shop for Thanksgiving, do laundry, and clean part of the house on less than 2 hours sleep.
I will likely work every day except Thanksgiving and Christmas Day from now until February 1.
I'm tired.
There are drunk people dressed inappropriately for the weather on the subways at 3:00 a.m. even when it is 27°.
I'm tired.
I'm cooking dinner for Thanksgiving, but I'm keeping it simple.

Posted by: Maria at November 24, 2008 11:42 AM

No advice on the kids...I'm raising dogs.

This weekend I did a whole lot of nothing but still managed to spend a ton of money...snow tires for the Civic.

Now I will be off all week, but still grading and writing papers. Of course, there is shopping on Friday!

Big lesson learned: If a doctor gives you "options" for treatment, and one has worked before...go straight to that option, don't try the others.

Posted by: Krush at November 24, 2008 11:49 AM

No advice on the kids...I'm raising dogs.

This weekend I did a whole lot of nothing but still managed to spend a ton of money...snow tires for the Civic.

Now I will be off all week, but still grading and writing papers. Of course, there is shopping on Friday!

Big lesson learned: If a doctor gives you "options" for treatment, and one has worked before...go straight to that option, don't try the others.

Posted by: Krush at November 24, 2008 11:49 AM

Oops, forgot to mention the Thanksgiving plans...

Breakfast here with my parents...Turkey sausage & eggs

Then off for dinner with D's parents and hopefully back in time for dessert at my cousin's...

Busy, busy, busy

Posted by: Krush at November 24, 2008 11:51 AM

I got dumped. Again. Not pleasant. And what did I learn from it? I have so much love to give and apparently I haven't figured out who to give it to that won't throw it back in my face. It was horrible.

That, and I never get out of Target for less than $80. No matter what I went in for.

Posted by: k8 at November 24, 2008 11:58 AM

Weekend? Went to the museum of nat history (again!) on Friday, then didn't leave my apartment for the next 2 days. Sweet. I painted, watched movies, and wrangled the toddler.

I will never ever EVER have another kid. OMG one kid having tantrums is more than enough thankyouverymuch.

Posted by: jessica at November 24, 2008 12:15 PM

Oh, the worst patenting advice: have another, your daughter needs a sibling.

Posted by: jessica at November 24, 2008 12:17 PM

I'll be adopting a dog tomorrow, and by virtue of this remarkable act of mercy, will be foregoing the drive across country to spend Thanksgiving with various parts of the family. Instead, I'll be brining the living shit out of a turkey and cooking and entire meal on my own since 1) I love to cook and the smell of a cooking turkey is like a narcotic to me and b) the dog and I can bond over a plate full of stuffing.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at November 24, 2008 12:53 PM

We had Lilli's 8th birthday party on Saturday complete with 17 7 & 8 year olds and a bounce house. Fun times! Actually, they were all pretty good. Also, I'm a rocking mom because in addition to the yellow cake cupcakes with chocolate frosting, there were carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese frosting which is Lilli's favorite.

And Grey's Anatomy actually made me think of the film Truly, Madly, Deeply a little.

Posted by: KelLil00 at November 24, 2008 12:57 PM

Well, twice with two different people I was explaining that I was usually stressed a lot because my son would get sick about once a month and twice before he had died at home and had to be resucitated and life-flighted for emergency surgery while he was supposedly just home "sick" so it tended to make me get very tense whenever he got ill and their response was "You should try yoga."

This weekend I worked while the man made much-needed house repairs.

I am bringing frozen pies to my moms feast and eating until they roll me home!

I hope you totally enjoy your Thanksgiving and time off!

Posted by: That Girl at November 24, 2008 1:06 PM

Two kids are 18.6 times more work than one. I measured.

Worst advice: if you don't stay home with your child he/she will be ruined forever and probably become a criminal. Ummm, ignored that. Had a nice long (1 yr) mat leave and then went back to work.

Grey's Anatomy: does anyone else think that when Denny says "I'm here for you Izzy" he means "I'm here to take you to the great beyond with me" rather than "I'm here to support you"?

Very cool weekend for me: saw Quantum of Solace Friday, met up with 18 other Ottawa-area bloggers Saturday for brunch, and found out Sunday I was nominated for a Canadian Blog Award for Best Family Blog (très cool, that).

Thanksgiving is just a memory for me now, intermittently brought back by eating the turkey soup I made and froze last month.

Have a wonderful Turkey Day, and I hope everyone feels better soon.

Posted by: alison at November 24, 2008 1:34 PM

Are you sure your friend didn't mutter "it's more like triple" as you walked away? I'm just wondering . . . because as a mom of two . . . I could have told you that.

Sorry to hear everyone is sick, but glad you got to spend time together. YAY!

And dude. Didn't Grey's TOTALLY jump the shark? TOTALLY. I was completely upset and disappointed by the entire thing. AND - AND. I hate Meredith. She has always annoyed me - but referring to her own sister as a stray? I hate her.

Posted by: Mindy at November 24, 2008 1:51 PM

Maybe this will make you feel better...At least you weren't cleaning up throw up like I was last week.

And oh my gosh, I'm totally with you on the Grey's Anatomy, I thought that was totally not needed. Weird and ewww!

For Thanksgiving I'm going to eat good food, and eat some more good food. I may take a nap, and then maybe eat some more good food. Oh, and I may try and spend sometime with my crazy family.
Hope you all feel better and have a great Turkey Day!

Posted by: Samantha at November 24, 2008 2:01 PM

Someone long before we had kids told us that having two was not like JUST having two - that is was like having 10. That advice was one of the main reasons it took use almost three years to decide to have a 2nd kiddo. Maybe the co worker did not finish his/her thought?!

Having a sick 3 month old suck rump. And when one is the sole source of the dietary needs of the three month (see also human pacifier) that sole source gets zero to no sleep.

My spouse is a grouch when he drinks too much coffee which is weird. Too much or too little makes him grouchy. Sounds a bit... addictive, you now?!

We spent $300 on groceries for a family of four one of which does not eat, you know solids. Oy.

Also, I cannot go into Target with spending $50 or more every time. I have said it before - I think the Target circle is some kind of subliminal thing that makes us spend money!

Posted by: Christina at November 24, 2008 2:06 PM

Worst parenting advice, nothing that I can think of.

Weekend: We watched a few movies and went shopping for a new cook top. We are skipping town and heading to the mountains for a few days. Plan is laziness. Not even bringing our skis. Movies, books, games and some proper downtime. I hope it is warm enough to do a bit of hiking.

Posted by: One Mom's Opinion at November 24, 2008 2:08 PM

well, for this household, the weekend is tuesday/wednesday. I imagine I will read books and Wil will play video games and we'll run errands. We are kinda dull that way.

Thank you for agreeing that Grey's Anatomy is OUT OF THEIR FREAKIN' MIND with this Izzie/Denny storyline.

My Thanksgiving plans are to not go home for the holiday. :( I'll probably watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in my underwear.

Posted by: jodi at November 24, 2008 2:13 PM

Huh, all the lessons in parenthood I've learned from you and they just keep getting better and better! Yeah, about Grey's? It's just getting too weird. I love Private Practice though, so much better. And Target, totally agree. I swear I go in for a handful of things and come out with bags and severely less in my checking account. Hope Mia's feeling better soon!

Posted by: Dianna at November 24, 2008 3:50 PM

dude, that sounds like one nasty weekend. and keep that nasty stuff over at your house.

1.) went to a movie, cleaned in prep for Thanksgiving, sorted and donated a TON of toys, hung out with my kids while my husband went to a NIN concert, cleaned puke out of my car (not related to the NIN concert thankfully).

2.) old passions can resurface with a fury and a vengeance igniting all sorts of creative opportunities.

3.)eh, nothing pops into my head at the moment.

4.)hanging with my family and the in-laws at our house, here's hoping there's not another turkey surprise incident.

Posted by: Jen at November 24, 2008 4:05 PM

This weekend I camped out in front of best buy to get the first copy of the GNR album. Ok I kid I kid...I did pick it up while there on sunday helping my dad pick up a digital camera for my grandma...yeah sure that is exactly why I went :)

The most important lesson I have learned recently? Hmmm that is a good one? That moving offices is a harrowing process? Especially when it now means I have to climb two flights of stairs carrying boxes!

I am not a I any parenting advice I would receive would be odd...since I don't have any kids.

For thanksgiving I plan to hid from my family by playing call of duty on my handheld nintendo ds whilst pretending I can't hear anyone :)

Posted by: Amy at November 24, 2008 6:03 PM

Sounds like your old co-worker had no clue how much work two kids are. His wife probably did it ALL so he could continue on completely disillusioned.

If I had Target here I would not be able to get out of that store EVER without spending 200$. It is like Mommy-crack that place.

Posted by: SleepyNita at November 24, 2008 6:34 PM

Cleaned the home, got the laundry done (by a service, we don't do it because of time and lack of machines), went grocery shopping, ate at Johnny Rockets, shopped at Borders, goofed off, had dinner at D's parents' place, had a Chinese snack while watching True Blood finale... and got bombarded by the cats ALL WEEKEND. They were SO NEEDY. What is UP with that?!

Posted by: Poppy at November 24, 2008 8:48 PM

Drank too much, got a wicked hangover, watched a lot of TV and generally enjoyed our childless state. The bad side of that is all the stuff that didn't get done and will now need to get done over the long weekend.

As far as recent bad advice, it was "oh come on, you can have one more cosmo".

Posted by: Mandy Lou at November 24, 2008 9:52 PM

Um, yeah, several friends told us going to two kids was more like triple the work.

Which is why we stopped at one.

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at November 25, 2008 12:45 AM

I think I am STILL scratching my head about Grey's. I. JUST. DON'T. GET. IT. They need to end it now. Heck, I was never a fan of Denny so that ain't helping things!

2 kids = chaos.

Posted by: Holly at November 25, 2008 10:27 AM

I'm soooo with you on the Grey's Anatomy thing. C'mon -- kill Izzy off already. Heck, looks like they're aiming for institutionalizing her at this point. Bottom line -- she's nuts.

Posted by: coolchick at November 25, 2008 11:56 AM