November 20, 2008

Random Crap From Chris' Caffeine Deprived Head

I've got a lot floating around in my head and no good way to express it. A lack of coffee hasn't helped. So this fine (and cold) Thursday morning, you're getting Random Crap From Chris' Caffeine Deprived Head as well as quite a few questions because it's audience participation time.

Ohio. I have nothing very little against Ohio. It's a fine state. And a shapely one. I've always loved the way it looks on a map. In short, I'm not convinced that my daughter is actually correct, that the freshly departed end up in Ohio. A good 75% of my family is from Ohio. Small town Ohio. Many of them still live there. My parents? Met and went to high school together in small town Ohio. So while I wouldn't make it my number one vacation destination, I wouldn't exactly call it the armpit of the universe or anything. That title belongs to Breezewood, Pennsylvania.

My weird gay-bashing dream. The other night I had this really terrible dream. In it, people who showed any sympathy for the gay community, who supported gay rights or even associated with gay people were rounded up by mobs, beaten and locked away. Then I woke up and breathed a sigh of relief as I realized I wasn't in California. (I kid.)

Insurance. A few weeks ago, I got weighed, measured, probed and prodded as part of an insurance-related medical exam. I got the policy at the Healthy Person Who's Not Going To Keel Over Dead Any Day Now rate so I figured I must be doing something right, healthwise. Except for the lack of exercise and penchant for doughnuts. But I had them send me the lab results anyway. Now, despite my exhaustive medial training, a lot of the numbers didn't mean much but, under cholesterol, the reading of you're fucked was pretty self-explanatory. I shouldn't be surprised. I have a family history of higher-than-federal-deficit cholesterol. And I like ice cream too much. So I have embarked on a quest to be healthier, to eat better, to step away from the ice cream and eat something other than doughnuts for breakfast. Wish me luck.

The 80/20 Rule of Farts. I realized last night, as my wife drew attention to one of my daughter's stinky toots, that of the total number of farts "spotted in the wild" and attributed to one of my kids, I'm probably responsible for 20% of them. I'm not proud of it. But maybe I am just a little.

Questions for discussion:

  1. Are you guys worried about your jobs or the economy as a whole?
  2. Will you buy the new 13 years in the making Guns N Roses album (set for release on Sunday)? Do you care? Will it be worth the wait?
  3. Do you fart and let others take the blame?
  4. What should I eat for breakfast now that I'm shooting for low fat, low cholesterol?

Posted by Chris at November 20, 2008 6:33 AM

1. Kinda worried about my job (academic support teacher)- you know it's easy to cut teachers who help kids who are struggling - but I could always go back to the classroom. Economy as a whole? I am worried, but I would be MUCH more worried if we kept a republican admin.

2. Nope. I don't fart.

3. Yogurt and granola? Oatmeal?

Posted by: Sharri at November 20, 2008 7:16 AM

1. Yes, I'm worried about my job, but not immediately. When it comes time to pass the next school levy (the STUPID way we get money to fund public schools here in Ohio... yes, OHIO), I think I might just be out of a job. That sucks majorly. But in the meantime, it's the economy that takes up much of my Worry Time... for it will be the reason my school district will need to pass a levy, and ultimately, why my job will disappear.
2. No, I won't BUY the "new" GnR album, because Axl Rose is exactly what I call him -- Asshole Rose. The album will, however, be listened to at least once... and I'll go from there.
3. Sometimes I do... But I generally am proud of the smell I deal out (sick, I know). Actually, I think the noise is more fun.
4. I don't have a clue about what you should eat for breakfast. I always have an English muffin, as my cholesterol is in check. Sorry I can't help.

Posted by: ironic1 at November 20, 2008 7:21 AM

See, I don't get this whole "Republican in office would be worse" crap.

McCain != Bush. Sorry, it just doesn't float. McCain can pronounce words. He thinks in complete sentences. He actually served his country. Obama won, McCain lost. Let's actually SEE what Obama can do, since no one actually has a fucking clue if he can figure out how to balance any sort of budget.

I hope to God and all that's holy that he can. Dad already lost his job. Boy's job will probably have funding pulled, and then it'll all be up to me for this lovely new home (we didn't go beyond our means, we should be fine, just going to *suck*). Good fucking times.

Posted by: alektra at November 20, 2008 7:35 AM

1. yes. finance industry. nuf said.
2. No, dont care..
3. Absloutely!
4. honey nut cheerios! skim milk!

Posted by: JLA at November 20, 2008 7:38 AM

1. yes, yes and yes
2. Guns and who? (sorry)
3. silent but deadly here
4. low fat cottage cheese with mandarine oranges and unsweetend apple sauce

Posted by: christy at November 20, 2008 7:50 AM

1. EXTREMELY worried about my job and the economy. My company just underwent the third major round of layoffs a few weeks ago (and for the third time, my ass has been spared). Our parent company laid off 100 people this week. No one is safe. I cross my fingers with the fact that my worth as an employee is proved not only by the work I turn out, but by the fact that I'm Part Time from home - not only do I not receive benefits (insurance and the like), but overhead wise, I'm a bargain :)

2. No, I won't buy it - but read an interesting editorial about how Rollign Stone gave it a bazillion stars, most likely in efforts to stay on Axl's good side should they ever want him on the cover.

3. Fartwise - odds are, if you are in my house and you smell something and no one has owned up to it, it's my husband. My kids will fess up to it (usually by giggling) and it is almost never me. (And I hate talking about farting, so NEXT QUESTION).

4. Breakfast. Oatmeal. Cheerios. Whole grain toast? Actually I read somewhere that espresso somehow ups the cholesterol levels. And then I promptly chose to ignore it.

Posted by: Sarah at November 20, 2008 7:58 AM

1. Are you guys worried about your jobs or the economy as a whole? Job, yes. Economy, no. This is normal.
2. Will you buy the new 13 years in the making Guns N Roses album (set for release on Sunday)? Do you care? Will it be worth the wait? You know, I'm very curious, but I'll wait a week and see if everyone says it's a total piece of crap. If it's not, I'll get it.
3. Do you fart and let others take the blame? No. Jen and I have an open-farting policy.
4. What should I eat for breakfast now that I'm shooting for low fat, low cholesterol? Cereal bars and granola bars are good. Oatmeal with stuff in it is great. Fruit is always good.

Posted by: Brad at November 20, 2008 8:11 AM

1. Yes, I'm worried. Law firms seem to be dissolving left and right these days.
2. Yes, I'll buy the album. Hopefully, it will be worth the wait.
3. No. I don't fart in front of other people. I only farted in front of two people. Just recently in front of my husband and we've lived together 19 years.
4. Kashi.

Posted by: Maria at November 20, 2008 8:16 AM

Economy = yes and no. We (remodel business) suffered mid-year and we let someone go (finally!) in September. The jobs coming in have picked up and I think we'll stay afloat for another year. Me in the school cafeteria, I think I'm safe 'cus you need two people to corral those crazy kids. Son's college fund is doing a death spiral so I guess I should be glad I didn't save TOO much and I'm able to use it right now!
GNR = never listed to them before, not gonna start now.
Farts = You can just say that word in our house and we all start giggling. My son's are the stinkiest and he'll be proud to claim them.
Cholesteral = Mine climbed up a few years back, they wanted to put me on meds. but I told them let me try it on my own 1st. Started eating oatmeal for breakfast (try the cook it for 1min. style with a banana and chopped walnuts and cinnamon in it!) and generally eating better and brought it waaayyyyy down. Give it a go!

Posted by: NancyJak at November 20, 2008 8:18 AM

1. No. I work for the feds and have a job that won't likely be going away and we're already down 4 people - they can't take any more.
2. No. And I even know Richard Fortis.
3. Yes, but mostly dogs.
4. Oatmeal. Or gruel.

Posted by: Gwen at November 20, 2008 8:31 AM

1. JOB - yes I am worried. I work for a Fortune 100 Company that I would venture to guess EVERYONE in the US has heard of. Been there for 11 years, but this is the first time I've heard the word layoffs associated with the Company. And my responsibilities have been cut in half since the end of the summer when they shut down half of the area I support (I'm a learning & development manager - kinda hard to train people when no one is hiring and there is NO money anywhere).
2. Can't say I'm waiting with baited breathe for Guns and Roses, but I might just do some perusing on Itunes.
3. I live alone. Kinda hard to blame someone else.
4. Bagels. I live on bagels (and kettle corn - lately that's my vice).

Posted by: Melissa at November 20, 2008 8:34 AM

1. TERRIFIED. I work in the construction industry and live in Michigan. Need I say more? There is a very real possibility that we will shut down for three or four months. And any job out there is paying HALF of what I currently make. And I struggling on that. Yikes!
2. No. And...why has it taken 13 years?
3. Sometimes I will ask my daughter why she did that. But there's never anyone else around.
4. What is this breakfast you speak of?

Posted by: js at November 20, 2008 8:35 AM

1. Nope, nothing I can personally impact.


3. No way, I live with 2 boys and a grown man, we are competitive.

4. Real oatmeal w/ blueberries? Something whole grain toasted.

Posted by: steff at November 20, 2008 8:39 AM

Oooooh I can think of a bazillion places worse than Breezewood! I used to live a wee bit south of there..Aside from the abundance of Amish folk, what did I miss?? Come to think of it, that was damned near 23 years ago or so. Ugh. I am sure it has changed a lot since then.

I always considered Newark, NJ to be the 'armpit' of The Universe. That place effin' smells BAD man. And it looks bad too, once you can manage to adjust to the chemical haze. No offense to any of you's from Joisey....

As for your questions?

# Are you guys worried about your jobs or the economy as a whole?
Not my job. I am a SAHM. LOL. However, I do worry about Hubby and his job. He is mid-Senior level, and is much needed at his office. Mid-level seems to be the kiss of death. The economy? Yes. I am worried. Food and health care costs keep rising. Thankfully gas is under $2 a gallon here now. *does jig*

# Will you buy the new 13 years in the making Guns N Roses album (set for release on Sunday)? Do you care? Will it be worth the wait?
I am interested in hearing it...Do not really care on a grand scale or anything. But I have always like GNR. I hope it will be good.

# Do you fart and let others take the blame?
Yes. It is why I had a kid! (I am KIDDING!)

# What should I eat for breakfast now that I'm shooting for low fat, low cholesterol?
A good breakfast in my opinion is a warm bowl of oatmeal (the kind you have to cook, not instant!) with a small container of low-fat yogurt, a piece of fruit, and coffee. Sticks with me til lunch, gives me a boost and is yummers. Sometimes I switch the yogurt for a smoothie. My smoothies really only consist of fruit blended with ice. However, I live in FL. This would not be acceptable where you live in the winter months, I would assume. ;O)

Good luck with that. YOU CAN DOOOO EEET!!!

Posted by: Jen at November 20, 2008 8:40 AM

1. Job? No. Economy? Yes.
2. No, I will not, because I don't care. (I don't even really like them at all. I know. Gasp.)
3. Occasionally. Usually, I own it with strange pride.
4. Oatmeal. I like the Quaker weight control kind not for it's (seemingly useless) weight control purposes - it just tastes way better than every other kind out there. It's got lots of flavor and is anything but bland PLUS you don't have to add sugar and crap. Maple & Brown sugar is super sweet. I alternate it with Cinnamon. Delicious. (This comes from a fellow donut lover. I'm not easily impressed with breakfast foods.)

Posted by: Emily at November 20, 2008 8:45 AM

1. Are you guys worried about your jobs or the economy as a whole?
2. Will you buy the new 13 years in the making Guns N Roses album (set for release on Sunday)? Do you care? Will it be worth the wait?
No; Not really; I suppose but Axel Rose does not seem to be near as hot as he was to me back when I was 15... (how embarrassing to admit that I had a crush on that man!)

3. Do you fart and let others take the blame?
Um, yes I do and I do not have an issue with this :)

4. What should I eat for breakfast now that I'm shooting for low fat, low cholesterol?
Egg whites (put some hot sauce on them and they will be far more tasty), a SMALL whole grain bagel with sugar free jam, and some fruit (NO I am not kidding and doesn't that sound WAY better then doughnuts?!)

Posted by: Christina at November 20, 2008 8:52 AM

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you... Ft. Wayne, Indiana is, in fact, the armpit of the world. My dad was transferred there when I was 13 and you could not get my entire family out of there fast enough.

You can only get stuck in so many traffic jams caused by an Amish buggy before you go insane!

Posted by: Claudia at November 20, 2008 8:58 AM

1. Grad student. High fives.

2. Probably not. I dug them in high school, then immediately after high school with their double album, but the level of disappointment possible with a 13-year effort is just too huge. Also, they're not really my bag anymore. Baby.

ALTHOUGH.....the other night I had finally gotten around to ripping the last of my CDs and wouldn't you know it, I still ove Motley Crue's 'Dr. Feelgood'. That's a great album.

3. I lived with a couple other guys for awhile and it was amazing how smelly our dog was. Even when the dog wasn't in the room, it was the dog's fault. So, yes.

4. A fruit smoothie. Every morning. Blueberries, a banana, 2% milk, and a scoop of protein powder. Oh, yes.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at November 20, 2008 9:04 AM

# Are you guys worried about your jobs or the economy as a whole? No, not really universities don't typically go out of business.

# Will you buy the new 13 years in the making Guns N Roses album (set for release on Sunday)? Do you care? Will it be worth the wait?

Good point. My wife is a HUGE GNR fan. I need to pick that up for her as a surprise on my way home from church. There's some irony.

# Do you fart and let others take the blame?
I fart all the time. I have no alibi. I have stomach issues. I farted last night for 30 minutes straight. I can't be single anymore.

# What should I eat for breakfast now that I'm shooting for low fat, low cholesterol?

Smoothy - half bag of mixed fruit, 1 package of Carnation instant breafast vanilla, 1.5 cups milk, big spoon of Splenda, one banana. Blend. Drink

Posted by: Knot at November 20, 2008 9:05 AM

1) After responding to a request for a job interview yesterday and finding upon arrival that it was not an interview, per se, but rather a cattle call -- with approximately 60 women competing for ONE admin assistant position, yes. I am quite worried. Terrified is more like it.

2) Yes, yes, seems doubtful.

3) I'm a girl, and girls don't fart.

4) Banana and bran cereal. That won't improve the noxious gas situation, however.

Posted by: Elise at November 20, 2008 9:07 AM

1. Yes! worried but try not to dwell
2. Nope, not a fan
3. Of course - isn't that one of the great reasons to have pets? and kids.
4. Oatmeal and fruit, and low fat yogurt. Oatmeal is surprisingly filling and quite yummy. The Maple and Brown Sugar is my favorite.

Posted by: diane at November 20, 2008 9:08 AM

And Breezewood, PA, may be the armpit, but Clovis, NM, is the asshole.

Posted by: Elise at November 20, 2008 9:09 AM

A. I agree, Breezewood, PA is a craphole.

1. I'm not worried about my job, slightly worried about T's. As for the economy itself, I'm scared crapless. As the owner of two houses and two cars, all with loans, I'm afraid that something might be taken away even though I'm current on all my payments.

2. I don't really care. I'm much more ready for Neil Young's new archive release Sugar Mountain.

3. I take full responsibility for ALL farts.

4. I like to enjoy a good muffin (there are some delicious low-cal options). Egg whites make a great omlet, too. Do you need something for on the road?

Posted by: Arwen at November 20, 2008 9:10 AM

1. Yes, but only marginally at the moment. I'm a high school band director and my district is o.k., but if it ever gets into financial distress I'll be close to the first to go.

2. Umm, no.

3. When I was pregnant, yes.

4. Non fat yogurt, your favorite fruit (I buy raspberries all year round even thought I'm going to hell for it) and a rotating assortment of gluten-free granola (5-8 kinds to choose from.)

Posted by: nora at November 20, 2008 9:14 AM

1. Yes, but only marginally at the moment. I'm a high school band director and my district is o.k., but if it ever gets into financial distress I'll be close to the first to go.

2. Umm, no.

3. When I was pregnant, yes.

4. Non fat yogurt, your favorite fruit (I buy raspberries all year round even thought I'm going to hell for it) and a rotating assortment of gluten-free granola (5-8 kinds to choose from.)

Posted by: nora at November 20, 2008 9:14 AM

I just got bit with the ugly cholesterol bug too. It sucks!Doc walked in the the exam room and stated >>>You CANNOT eat at Mcdonalds anymore.....hahahaha

Posted by: Becky at November 20, 2008 9:21 AM

1.) Still a little worried about my job even though our chair explained to us that he's almost certain that the University will not be getting rid of any English dept. jobs.

2.) I am debating whether or not to buy this. I might just be disgusted.

3.)My husband is the guilty party on this matter :)

4.) Oatmeal. Definitely oatmeal. Maybe put some Polaner's sugar free jam on top. That's yummy.

Posted by: Claire at November 20, 2008 9:26 AM

1. I'm more concerned about the economy as a whole rather than my individual job at this particular moment. Unless I get outsourced.

2. Wasn't planning on the G&R album...I know you'll get it and tell me how it is.

3. I don't fart. But my toddler and the cat (oh-my-god-the-CAT have you ever smelled a cat fart?) do.

4. Go to Ohio for breakfast every morning. The bad stuff doesn't count there.

Posted by: jessica at November 20, 2008 9:51 AM

Breezewood, PA- home of the $35 a night hotels because the Pennsylvania Turnpike commission realizes that by the time you get there you are exhausted and might kill someone between there and Pittsburgh if you keep driving, because you left after work on a Friday like a moron without taking a nap first.

I'm not worried about my job, but my position might go under. I work for a huge non-profit public health agency so they will most likely just shift me over to another position.

I won't be buying the GnR, but I would like to listen to it.

I will take the blame at home for farts, but will blame it on the fattest kid in the room if I'm in public.

I say oatmeal. The maple stuff and cinnamon one is kind of sweet, and oats have cholesterol eradicating abilities

Posted by: lora at November 20, 2008 9:54 AM

1) Nope, I already lost my job due to my illness.
2) I was pretty stoked at first, but now I may have to hear a lot of it before I invest.
3) Any time I can.
4) I personally have taken a shine to yogurt. I like to buy vanilla and then put my own fruit in, that way there is enough fruit to make it through the whole thing!

Posted by: Jeff A at November 20, 2008 10:02 AM

I had issues posting yesterday. We'll see if it work.

1. Sort of. I am looking for something else but I'm being very cautious about it.

2. No. Not really. Not likely.

3. Nah. I am clearly in the 'ignore what just happened camp.'

4. Go Lean Crunch. Tasty, has protein... and low cholesterol I think.

Posted by: Nat at November 20, 2008 10:18 AM

1. Yes, I am worried about the economy, but I'm not worried about my job for now.
2. Nope. I wasn't that impressed with what I've heard of Chinese Democracy so far.
3. I have never blamed a fart on someone else. I think that might be a guy thing.
4. Oatmeal! I eat oatmeal for breakfast almost every single day. It's great for lowering cholesterol.

Posted by: bad penguin at November 20, 2008 10:20 AM

1) Job: no ( assuming Xmas isn't a total washout ); economy: Go Google "popular delusions and the madness of crowds" and read the chapters on the bubbles in France and England; nothing has changed but the times; we'll recover; the trick is: what is the next bubble, and how do you take advantage? ;)

2) The lead track off Chinese Democracy sounds like a bad B track off Use Your Illusion I; he's trying real hard, but it doesn't seem like his sound grew or got more polished.

3) When Godzilla comes to town, you know.

4) Try getting some really tasty, oat-y bagels and put some good-for-you jelly on them. It will help ease the transition ( in early pre-coffee brain, round and tasty will equate as well to bagels as doughnuts ). Also, oatmeal is to cholesterol as kitty litter is oil spill ( not the most appetizing simile, but technically accurate ).

Posted by: metawizard at November 20, 2008 10:21 AM

The economy's screwed. Yours, ours, Iceland's (that was our fault, by the way). But my job's safe as I only work a few weeks a year and spend the rest dossing about in hostels.

Isn't it 17 years? Or is that since the last album release. Either way, "no". Not on the strength of what I've heard of it anyway. It's OK, but after 13/17 years I'd expect something that'd make my head explode. Not just something I'd not turn the radio off for.

Hell, yes. I'm male.

I didn't realise Americans actually ate doughnuts for breakfast until I was over there visiting a now-ex and her parents. I thought it was one of those TV things. But, no. One morning, 24 of Dunkin's finest sat there to plough through. Woah.

Posted by: Mosh at November 20, 2008 10:21 AM

1- I am on leave from work right now for family reasons, and I do worry that my job might not be there when I come back, as I work in the Greater Financial Industry. Fingers crossed!

2- I will not buy it, even though I'm sorta curious, just on principle. Damn, Axl, took you long enough. Sheesh.

3- Only if I am in public. Otherwise, I am unreasonably proud of my farts. Now that I have a 5 year old son, that's come back around to bite me in the butt, so to speak. I have to try and hold back laughter and also remind him to excuse himself when he accidentally lets one rip. He's not quite at the age when he can discern that it's ok to fart at home and laugh about it, but not in polite company, I cannot wait for that day.

4- Oatmeal. Or any Kashi cereal with skim milk. That stuff is really tasty, and it's healthy to boot. Frankly, I was surprised. It also keeps you feeling full much longer than most cereal. Must be all the healthy stuff.

Good luck with your cholesterol! I also have a family history of high cholesterol, so I feel your pain. It's not fair- I didn't get any of the other family traits I wanted, like big boobs or curly hair, but I got high cholesterol and big hips instead. Genetic roulette FAIL.

Posted by: gabrielle at November 20, 2008 10:51 AM

Are you guys worried about your jobs or the economy as a whole? Sort of, but not really. I own my car outright, I rent my house, my job is with engineering wastewater treatment systems, and I have less than $1,000 in credit card debt. Fuel oil is dropping, so I'm not paying a jillion bucks a month to stay sort of warm.

Will you buy the new 13 years in the making Guns N Roses album (set for release on Sunday)? Do you care? Will it be worth the wait? No and no. GnR had their 15 minutes of fame.

Do you fart and let others take the blame? I always blame Joe.

What should I eat for breakfast now that I'm shooting for low fat, low cholesterol? Oatmeal. It's amazing how you can dress it up. (Sugar free fruit jam, fruit, cinnamon, it's a long list)

Posted by: Ames at November 20, 2008 10:57 AM

i'm zero help on the breakfast front...since i have a very healthy coffee each morning for breakfast.

and my kids totally blame THEIR farts on ME. i totally feel cheated!

Posted by: ali at November 20, 2008 11:04 AM

1. I'm very worried about our economy and what that means for my husband's job. It is a commission based only job and right now people just aren't buying.
2. I will probably buy the GNR CD but probably not on Sunday. I doubt it will have been worth the wait.
3. No
4. Oatmeal

Posted by: Sarah at November 20, 2008 11:06 AM

I'm not worried at all about my job since I don't have one. It's kind of liberating. As I explained to my corporate manager roommate/landlord, many years of abject poverty have prepared me rather well for the coming recession. I'm all, "Eh, I got no money. I never had any money!"

Also I can completely relate on the ice cream and donuts for breakfast. Don't they make cholesterol-free donuts? Somebody should work on that.

As for #3, I would never, EVER do such a thing, of course my farts smell like roses anyway so it's not really an issue.

Posted by: Jess at November 20, 2008 11:28 AM

Cherios with a banana cut on it is a delicious breakfast. I eat that alot!

Posted by: Adi at November 20, 2008 11:34 AM

1. Economy, mostly. It's getting harder and harder to put food on the table and pay bills simultaneously.

2. No. Not a big GnR fan.

3. No. I take after my father in a lot of ways but I didn't inherit this gene. That said, growing up our house was overrun with barking spiders. Oh my god, I cannot wait until it's time to go home for Christmas!! I miss my crazy daddy :)

4. Oatmeal. Cheerios. Those are things I like.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at November 20, 2008 11:36 AM

I'm not worried about my job.


Nope, I take FULL responsibility of my smelly farts!

Read the book "Eat right to Live Long". Lowered my EX's 100 points in 3 months. Now there may be newer books on the market, but this one (I thought) hit the nail on the head and since it really worked for the EX, how can anyone complain?

Posted by: been there, done that at November 20, 2008 11:41 AM

i have some great memories of my year and a half living in german village in columbus, oh. i still crave a katzinger's #41 on a regular basis. but it sure is funny to think of it as where people go when they die. if i could have one of those sandwiches, i'd be happy to go there!

Posted by: kati at November 20, 2008 12:31 PM

1)No...schools will always be around.
3)No. I try to be alone when I let go.

In other news? It's my 3 Year Blogiversary. Come on by.

Posted by: apathy lounge at November 20, 2008 12:38 PM

Sunny and a high of 72 today... ah... Houston. Sorry.

1. Job worries - yes. Everyday the value of the market drops so does the value of my job (in financial services).

2. Screw GnR and welcome to the jungle baby - this is simply a tired marketing ploy to generate more income so they don't have to work the rest of their pathetic lives - Why not steal the music instead and let them earn some real money - don't they know we're in a fucking recession!

3. We blame farting on the 2 cats and the 4 mo. old. (although my wife swears she doesn't fart - right honey?). A funny thing happened on the way to the forum... I mean bathroom... the other day. My 3yr old daughter lets one rip while sitting on the potty. I say, "oh my goodness, was that you that farted?" she said, "no, I'm tooting so I don't get lost" This is now my new response to Ms Smoke when I let 'er rip.

4. Do what I do which is a cocktail of Lipitor and Tricor. You lower the bad cholesterol, raise the good cholesterol and you can eat anything you want.

Posted by: Johnny Smoke at November 20, 2008 1:10 PM

1. God, yes.
2. Not until I hear it first - just cause it took a long time doesnt mean it's not crappola
3. I dont fart and if I did I would absolutly blame the nearest male
4. I am always surprised by how non-sucky apples & cinnamon oatmeal is. Keeps you feeling full too.

Posted by: That Girl at November 20, 2008 1:38 PM

Sorry, also forgot to say Good Luck! with the lowering-cholesterol thing. I know you can do it!

Posted by: That Girl at November 20, 2008 1:39 PM

As a St. Louis native I am legally bound from ever purchasing any GNR music and/or merchandise. We hate them and they hate us.

Posted by: matt at November 20, 2008 1:57 PM

1. I graduate in December with a degree in political science, while that leaves me many options in the 'real world', I am a little freaked out I will not be able to find a job to start paying off those student loans.

2. Love Guns N Roses, but will it include Slash?

3. Girls don't fart.

4. I enjoy a bowl of Muesli for breakfast. I just got a new one at Target (Archer Farms I believe) that is coconut something and another is banana bread. Probably not good for you, but yummy!

Posted by: Jennifer at November 20, 2008 2:17 PM

1. Not worried about my job as a stay at home mom. There's a pretty high demand for me at the moment, and it can't be exported to a call center in India (yet).
2. I'll just say no to GNR. Why buy when I can listen to it for free on Myspace?
3. So easy to blame farts on baby poo.
4. My husband used to have above 700 cholesterol (kidney condition). To manage that, he's really cleaned up his diet. He loves his oat chex with a sprinkling of sugar. Also delicious is vanilla yogurt mixed with defrosted mango or cherries (from the frozen foods aisle). Good luck!

Posted by: Laura at November 20, 2008 3:25 PM

1) Definitely. I work with newspapers - media right now is tough.

2) Nah, Axl just ain't the same. I have a feeling it was doctored.

3) The dog. Always the dog. She is a girl dog. And girls do fart.

4) Cheerios. They make the world go round.

Posted by: DC Urban Dad at November 20, 2008 3:36 PM

1. Yes. My husband will be laid off in a couple of months. And eventually, Canada will let me work here and I will have to find a job. I've been out of work for almost two years. I don't know if I am qualified to do anything but laundry.

2. No

3. No

4. Oatmeal. or Cheerios. Everyone knows that. Oat is a miracle drug.

Posted by: jodi at November 20, 2008 4:29 PM

1. Both.
2. Yes I will buy it. Will it be worth the wait. Most likely no. I am already preparing myself to be disappointed.
3. Hell ya...
4. Oatmeal is always yummy. I like to add splenda brown sugar to mine...but I can hack it plain too :)

Posted by: Amy at November 20, 2008 4:43 PM

I work in entertainment, Broadway to be exact. A lot of shows are closing in January, and as of yet there is nothing slated to fill their spots. Shit.

No I won't


On a cholesterol lowering quest myself I found a love for Irish steel cut oats. They can be made ahead of time and heat up well

Posted by: Dani at November 20, 2008 4:54 PM

I work in entertainment, Broadway to be exact. A lot of shows are closing in January, and as of yet there is nothing slated to fill their spots. Shit.

No I won't


On a cholesterol lowering quest myself I found a love for Irish steel cut oats. They can be made ahead of time and heat up well

Posted by: Dani at November 20, 2008 4:54 PM

Economy - worried, yes, but have a state job, fingers crossed.

Guns n Roses - probably not, but still like them.

Fart - hey, the dogs are the ONLY ones who fart in my house!

Breakfast - to hell with it, donuts rule.

Finally, you have it wrong - the worst place in the world is in Ohio - Toledo!

Posted by: Heather at November 20, 2008 4:56 PM

1. No, I'm a teacher with a continuing contract. A lot of bad would have to happen and it would be seriously, seriously catastrophic for me to lose my job do to the economy. However, I doubt that I will be getting a large salary increase in our next contract negotiations. I'm pretty lucky.

2. I don't buy albums. I lack musical taste. I know, you despise me.

3. I try not to be in the position to have to place blame. But I would do it.

4. I guess oatmeal. But you will have to rise about 7-10 minutes earlier. It wouldn't work for me. I thought that since I rarely eat meat (like you, except for you it's never) that I was safe. Guess I should cut down on the ice cream, etc. before I find out that the cholesterol is outta control.

Posted by: Heather at November 20, 2008 5:01 PM

1. yes, but not mine, my husband's

2. No

3. I've been known to blame the dog before

4. I really like vanilla yogurt with Grape Nuts in it. It's the only way I can eat Grape Nuts without tearing up the roof of my mouth, but the combination of flavors is quite yummy. Oatmeal is also a good option but I don't like the instant packet kind.

Posted by: donna at November 20, 2008 5:31 PM

1) Only if I follow my boyfriend (who would have to be a fiance or husband for me to do it) to the Poconos area of PA, or socialized health care comes to be.
(let's face it- if nursing salaries go from middle class back down to minimum wage I am f'ed ;-)
2)Don't care!
3) Puppies come in handy, as do nieces and nephews!
4)Egg whites with salsa, salt and pepper, and a few sliced black olives? Almond butter on a whole wheat wrap with HFCS free jam? A tall glass of fruit Kefir? Yeah, not too many people lust after my breakfasts.

Posted by: Karen at November 20, 2008 7:19 PM

I goofed! Addendum to Question 1-
Economy? Worried? Yes. Very.

Posted by: Karen at November 20, 2008 7:23 PM

Been enjoying your and Beth's blogs for several months. In defense of Ohio, I live here. In Columbus. And it's really not that bad. Not beautiful or anything in terms of its geography, and Columbus seems particularly lacking in a thriving arts scene (though I'm sure many would disagree with me). What really bugs me though? On TV, someone is always just "from Ohio." Like Ohio has no actual cities that merit mentioning. It's just a tiny pet peeve of mine. Where in small town Ohio is your family from? (Just ended on a preposition, but oh well I'm tired and I *am* from Ohio.) My dad grew up in Carey (NW Ohio) and my mom in Oak Harbor (realllllly NW Ohio near Toledo and Lake Erie).

For breakfast, I love the kashi go lean cruch. A teeny bit of sugar and I'm good to go. It's got a pretty good amount of protein and fiber so it sticks with you.

And for me, there is no G & R after "Welcome to the Jungle." RIP, Rose, RIP.

Posted by: Beth at November 20, 2008 7:33 PM

1. yeah
2. no. i won't even believe that it's going to be released until i actually see it in a store. ... i want to hear it, but i think i've already decided to hate it.
3. no, but my dad does it and blames me all the time.
4. lately i've been eating greek yogurt with no fat. if i could find skyr, i'd probably eat that instead.

Posted by: denise at November 20, 2008 8:24 PM

1) Yes, quite worried. I feel that the trickle down affect is going to hurt most of us as it will noticeably affect us all.

2) Don't care.

3) Nope. My guys do and think that I won't notice and when I do, they blame each other.

4) Yogurt or fruit.

Posted by: One Mom's Opinion at November 20, 2008 10:29 PM

1. I'm not worried about my job, last I checked Moms don't get paid anyway. I am worried about my husbands job, he works in IT for Wachovia banks. No clue what's gonna happen there.

2. NOPE, nope, don't know.

3. In our house, it always gets blamed on the baby. Even if he's in his crib napping.

4. I habe a banana, a nonfat yogurt and a whole wheat english muffin. Oh and a diet coke. Yummy!

Posted by: Steph at November 21, 2008 1:34 AM

1. Well I was worried up until last Wednesday when I was put out of my misery and told that I no longer had it. Now I am worried about a job that I don;t even have yet. And yes the economy as a whole, the global economy, yes I am worried.

2. No. Axel just scares me now. Have you seen what he looks like?

3. Yes. That's one of the reasons I decided to have kids. At 21 months she still has NO idea I blame her. I need to get cracking on no. 2 before she works it out.

4. Vegemite toast. Delicious and low fat and full of vitamin B and other good stuff, and it's black so sort of could be coffee...

Posted by: Beth at November 21, 2008 5:16 AM

Are you guys worried about your jobs or the economy as a whole?

***A little about my job as there have already been layoffs but I'm trying to be optimistic about the economy as a whole and hope we bounce back quicker

Will you buy the new 13 years in the making Guns N Roses album (set for release on Sunday)? Do you care? Will it be worth the wait?

***Ummmm no probably not. I have heard several songs and I don't know if they just waited too long to release it but I'm just over it.

Do you fart and let others take the blame?

***No I really try to own my fartage plus I try not to fart in public

What should I eat for breakfast now that I'm shooting for low fat, low cholesterol?

***Chris you can do it, I lowered my triglyerides in 3 measly months and my LDL is FANTASTIC now and they were wicked high. So I say you need to start taking some fish oils, eat oatmeal (not instant), try to get about 25 grams of fiber in a day and keep your saturated fat under 16 grams. Try Kashi Bars for snacks in the afternoon, or raw almonds. Yummy! Good luck

Posted by: Deirdre at November 21, 2008 8:02 AM

How weird...I just got my results from my insurance-related med exam yesterday! I'm also looking to lower my cholesterol! I started with the exercising, but will probably start looking through your comments here for ideas for food changes! I quit smoking almost 5 years ago and found a sweet tooth I never had before and gained extra weight (well, and having the baby didn't help my body much either!)

As for the rest of your questions:

1. Worried about the economy yes, trying not to worry about my job...I get the worrying from the Catholic side of my family (ha! they were all Catholic!) so I try not to worry, because it is SO very easy for me!
2. I'm over GNR. on the other hand, so want the new Nickelback album
3. Not going there
4. You mean that ice cream and chocolate bars are out??

Posted by: cyndy at November 21, 2008 10:55 AM

I work in the financial industry. One of the evil giants that got bought because we were basically operating in the hole every single day. I check my bank account on payday before I log in to do anything at work. Yes, I am afraid of losing my job.

Guns and who?

The advantage of being single is that you can fart and no one gets upset about it.

Give it up on the eating right thing. I tried it. High cholesterol runs on both sides of the family. Told my Doc I was going to try to do it naturally and he said it wasn't going to work. Did it three months and it didn't budge a bit. He said some people just inherit the high cholesterol gene. I'm on Vytorin. Works great. Real low dose and my tests are perfect now.

Posted by: Shell at November 21, 2008 7:19 PM

1. I was hired at the beginning of this month. Apparently my company is unaffected. I'm not worried about losing my job because it doesn't do me any good to worry about it anyway.

2. My boyfriend pre-ordered the album a while ago and got it through iTunes last night!

3. Hmm. Not so much.

4. Egg whites and dry toast, buddy. Maybe black coffee.

Posted by: Poppy at November 23, 2008 9:32 AM