January 19, 2009

I Have A Dream (That Doesn't Involve Working Today)

Unlike so many of you who have the day off, in commemoration of Martin Luther King, I have already reported for duty. Yep, I'm at work. In my heart, however, I'm celebrating not one but two black icons - MLK and coffee. And while I do that, allow me to recap the weekend.

This weekend was a weekend of fixing shit. Not actually fixing shit but having shit fixed by others and, in turn, paying them vast sums for doing so. We started the weekend by dropping off my car for an oil change, inspection, tail-light replacement and other minor feats of German engineering. Lucky for us the car's paid off. The lack of monthly payments makes me feel slightly better about the repair costs. Which are a little on the steep side.

We were then visited by the Verizon Fuckers. After three weeks and countless hours of our own time for which we are submitting an itemized bill to Verizon at a fee of a free month of service per hour, our Holy Trinity of Home Connectivity now functions in full. Our cable works, we have internet connectivity and as an extra added bonus we can receive calls. I'm now doing all three simultaneously as I'm pretty sure this will last about a week before something tanks.

On the heels of the Verizon Fuckers came Max, window measuring expert. Now I know that I've told you why we have to get new windows but I don't think that appropriately captures the urgency or severity of this need. It was colder than Ann Coulter's heart this weekend so I have some fresh examples. Behold the Great Cactus Ice Fields. And yes, this is what the interiors of our windows look like.

So Max came to measure for our new windows. I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting when I heard Max would be dropping by but, regardless, Max was not what I'd pictured. Instead of a genial blue-collar sort with a tape measure and faint traces of the cigarette he'd just finished, Max looked like a Buddhist monk without the chic orange robe. He bowed to me, referred to himself in the third person and silently removed his shoes as he drifted into the house. Max, he said taking off his shoes and holding out his hand by way of introduction. Max measure windows now. And off he went, measuring each window approximately 37 times, in absolute silence. He was unbelievably done in 20 minutes. He even managed to drove a hole in our wall (with my permission) silently. I'm sure if he'd handed me a business card it would have said Max, Window Ninja.

As if Saturday hadn't been fun, we babysat two seven year old twins that evening. When they were born, both Beth and I commented that they bore a startling resemblance to five-term Republican Senator Jesse Helms. Lucky for them, they grew out of it and are now much cuter. Mia loved them - after all, they were big girls - and Owen was pretty damn thrilled too. Once their parents returned, we were no longer outnumbered and we got our own two kids to bed, we ordered a late-night pizza, drank some beer and passed out.

Sunday was more relaxing. Sunday was spent indoors, playing endless games of Candy Land, soothing a teething child.

So, are you guys working today? And what did you do over the weekend?

Posted by Chris at January 19, 2009 8:02 AM

Why do you not have today off? Are you off today and you had to walk or did you actually not have today off? Are you off tomorrow?

And yes the window thing sucks. Windows are damn expensive.

Posted by: jodiur at January 19, 2009 8:28 AM

hahaha you are too funny. This weekend was great, I baked, did laundry and had a small mental breakdown and my husband called from Germany because I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. lol but overall it was great!

Posted by: La Petite Belle at January 19, 2009 8:38 AM

I can't even remember what I did on Saturday because I spent all day Sunday IN MY PAJAMAS! It was awesome! My husband was working, my son was at a basketball game and I had total control of the television! WOOHOO!
I have today off from school and I'll call my husband's payroll in while standing in my kitchen because I don't have anything pressing in the office.

Posted by: NancyJak at January 19, 2009 8:46 AM

Terrible windows!
I'm having a poll over on www.dackelprincess.com
Please come and vote! I need your opinion on this!!!

Posted by: Maribeth at January 19, 2009 9:22 AM

Our weekend was spent on the lacrosse fields with the J.V. team. Two games on Saturday and two yesterday. We kicked butt until the semi-finals. Then we learned what a butt kickin' felt like from the butt side.

I office from home so am still in p.j.'s "working" today.

Dang - how do you stay warm with windows like that? Do you have to live inside in full winter regalia? Hats, gloves, scarves? And, thats just to cook dinner?? Brace yourself for your quote. If you think your car is expensive....

Posted by: Debbie at January 19, 2009 9:24 AM

Working of course. Much coffee in system as press time :)

Also, please read my blog. Yucky thing happened to me this morning and I am trying to get the word about it. SO GROSS

Posted by: Christina at January 19, 2009 9:47 AM

Ice dam windows suck. If you get them replaced make sure you inspect the sill and inner wall for mold before the put the new window in.

Posted by: William at January 19, 2009 9:49 AM

those windows give the impression that you have had snow. which i know to be completely immmmpossible. What is that stuff? Im surprised those windows didnt crack last week when it was 2 degrees outside.

Posted by: shannon at January 19, 2009 9:53 AM

Does Max: Window Ninja have any relatives in the Dallas/Fort Worth area? We have this bathroom that needs some work....a cousin maybe? Joe: Tile Shoulin?

something? anything?

Posted by: David at January 19, 2009 10:04 AM

Yep, working. What is it with people and wanting their websites on such an important day? Geesh!

Similarly, one of our vehicles is in the shop for an oil change and to fix a leak. And if we hadn't paid it off a couple of years ago I'd be hella pissed about the $1000 bill we're facing.

Good weekend. I'm hosting a co-worker who is visiting the US here from India for the first time. We made him dinner one night, and took him to the National WWI museum (here in KC) the next day. It's tiring, but rewarding.

There was also time for sitting and watching football, so I can't be too upset about the lost time.

Posted by: Brad at January 19, 2009 10:13 AM

I'm gradually talking myself into walking up the hill to the hospital and the lab in order to slap the shit out of some cancer cells and maybe play with some acid. Until then, however, I'm on my third cup of coffee and the dogs are making like throw rugs around my feet, snoozing mightily. So, we'll see.

Your commute must be sucking like the most majestic of black holes these days.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at January 19, 2009 10:25 AM

Window ninja? Oh I love that. He needs to visit the farmhouse someday, as the Amish Window Mafia didn't do such a spiffy job on our windows.

Weekend? Yesterday I dropped and broke a quart of olive oil on the kitchen floor. Oh what fun.
I've used up all my F-Bombs for the rest of the month.

Aside from that highlight, nothing except football. Saturday was a nothing kind of day.

Posted by: Ames at January 19, 2009 10:31 AM

We will be calling upon the services of The Window Ninja next spring. Its getting time for that around here too. After we paint the outside, rebuild the deck and carpet/tile the inside. yikes.
Weekend? fabulous! Hung out with only one real "to do" and that was not kill the children before bedtime. and a birthday party at an indoor bouncy house. Does it get much better? :)
Happy MLK day!

Posted by: Kristin at January 19, 2009 10:39 AM

That picture makes me feel a little bit better about my own house woes. I hope you get it all fixed without too much drama.

Also, you won my DeLurking contest.

Pop me an email at sosassypants of gmail.

Posted by: SassyPants at January 19, 2009 11:46 AM

I'm working. We don't get those silly Federal Holidays off...*grumble*

We spent the weekend fixing things too. Husband fixed the leaky bathroom toilet. I fixed the frozen kitchen pipes.

Then we built some outdoor cat houses for the poor stray kittens that have been wandering around the neighborhood.

We got new windows this summer. We didn't have Max, we had Lou. Lou arrived in a wheelchair and left us totally confused as to how this was going to work. Lou's assistant did the measuring calling out numbers to Lou who wrote down some crazy calculations on a piece of paper and called us the next day with a quote well below what we were expecting and had our windows in before the month was over (special order for color and everything). Go Lou!

Posted by: Lisa at January 19, 2009 12:16 PM

Working. Europe doesn't observe American holidays. And I felt like I've done absolutely nothing useful (it's already 18:30 and I'm still here) ... just stuck in meetings all day. Argh.. hope your day is better. :)

Posted by: Hannah at January 19, 2009 12:46 PM

Of course I'm working today. The good thing is that since everyone else had the day off, there was absolutely no traffic.

Posted by: Dawn at January 19, 2009 1:12 PM

I unintentionally took the day off for a migraine. Fuckers. If they gave me the day off, I wouldn't have gotten it. No way.

And that's exactly what our windows look like too. But Gay Boyfriend doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. mwhahaha!

Posted by: k8 at January 19, 2009 1:18 PM

I'm working at home today. Falling snow + transit strike (day 42) = too many cars on the road and stupid drivers going too fast for the conditions = 2-3 hour commute.

The weekend was quiet. Laundry, housework, sledding, baking. But I did read two novels: John Sandford's "Dark of the Moon" (Virgil Flowers is almost as much fun as Davenport) and Jeff Abbot's "Cut and Run" (very convoluted mob story with double crosses and triple crosses, didn't like it as much as the other Whit Mosely books, but it was OK). And I finished watching the "Crow Road" miniseries on DVD.

Hope the windows aren't too expensive.

Posted by: alison at January 19, 2009 2:24 PM

I have to work as well. BOO HISS! Anyhow my weekend was uneventful, I spent most of it cursing my Tivo because it was like a bad dvd that you put in the dvd player that jumps, and pauses and sticks it was irritating the hell out of me. I got my hair cut and my nails done and then just did domestic chores the rest of the weekend, laundry, dishes, shovel, cleaning the car...fun stuff. I am a master of the good times!

Posted by: Deirdre at January 19, 2009 2:27 PM

Dude, the window ninja can't get back over there fast enough. That's some serious window issues! You need to get some of that beautiful plastic and blue painters tape and I N S U L A T E, asap, until Max gets back!

Oh, and thanks to MLK Jr., I'm off today.

Posted by: coolchick at January 19, 2009 4:23 PM

I played Trophy Wife, got myself more than a little drunk and did not clean one thing. And I loved every filthy, spinning minute.

Posted by: Mr Lady at January 19, 2009 4:38 PM

Ann Coulter's heart bay be like ice, but I find her hot on some kind of level.


Posted by: Knot at January 19, 2009 4:48 PM

Yep. Totally working. And totally loving it.
I KNOW there's some type of joke in there about Max and "windows to the soul" or "the window to enlightenment", but I just can't make it happen. But what you do have is the beginning of a really awesome science fiction story. You know, the windows come and they do something really cool, like open up an alternate reality. And then you call the window place to talk to Max and there IS no Max that works there. What do you think? Are you feeling it?

Posted by: matt at January 19, 2009 5:48 PM

I am not working but no thanks to MLK but just to my current unemployment (note to self must really try and find a job) and the weekend was perfect. Summer. Beach. Family. Swims. You know just a great summer weekend. Have I rubbed in the fact too much that it's summer?!

Posted by: Beth at January 19, 2009 7:34 PM

Lots of walking, football, watched a movie and basically, just relaxed.

That is one messed up window. Please tell me that you don't have to replace all the windows.

Posted by: One Mom's Opinion at January 19, 2009 8:03 PM

Yes, thank the MILK, er, MLK Jr. man, I had the day off. I went to my husband's work and then we headed out to lunch. Then I went and watched my niece for a few hours before going to work out. Exciting stuff for a day off, no? But hey, the word WORK wasn't involved, so all was good.

The weekend? Called for laundry, grocery shopping, visiting Wally World, setting up an audio-visual cabinet that complements our new LCD HD TV, and watching the Steelers pave the way to the Super Bowl. Oh, and cleaning up after cans of soda that decided to explode from the frigid temps that are apparently invading our garage.

Posted by: ironic1 at January 19, 2009 9:00 PM

I do have the day off since I work for the public schools. But it's back to the grind tomorrow. Thank God for TiVo. I'll miss a bunch of the Inauguration otherwise.

Posted by: apathy lounge at January 19, 2009 11:55 PM

if it makes you feel any better, our windows are the originals from when the building was first erected... in 1864. literally.

Posted by: shannon at January 20, 2009 7:31 AM

Wow, Max is totally my kind of dude. Awesome!!!

Posted by: jessica at January 20, 2009 10:04 AM

Those windows give me the chills just looking at them!

And as for the window measruing monk, well. I just....wow. Okay. Moving on.

This weekend we got a new kitten, and snuggled him and tried to keep the cat from eating him. We saw friends and had some great food and enjoyed the few days off. Glad to hear you enjoyed it (for the most part) too!

Posted by: Fattylumpa at January 20, 2009 10:48 AM

We get that here in the windows, too, usually when the temperatures dip into the teens. Unless someone's showered or something, we have a lot less moisture so it's a lot less.

It'll sure be nice to get some new windows in here, too, I dread getting an estimate. I think I have 400 windows. Possibly less. Better windows and a better dog door and we could almost live without any kind of heat all year.

Posted by: rpm at January 21, 2009 12:15 PM

Am filling this in late - but I was not working Monday as a result of flying to Jamaica on Saturday :)

Posted by: Sue R at January 22, 2009 1:59 PM