January 26, 2009

The Greatest Bathroom Story Ever Told

Most people don't know this, or if they do they don't believe it. But Beth and I began our relationship in a bathroom.

During our freshman year in college, Beth and I lived in the same co-ed dorm. It was five floors, each alternating girls and boys except for the fourth which, for some reason, was half-and-half with a door dividing the hall. I lived in the basement. We called it The Dungeon. The guys in The Dungeon had a reputation. We really weren't that bad but said reputation was handed down from one freshman class to the next. I mean, sure, we had soccer games in which we used a full unopened can of coffee instead of a ball. There was some wall damage and I distinctly recall that a wall clock was destroyed in the process. And yeah, one incident was written up in the school newspaper as it was a suspected break in of one of The Dungeon rooms from the parking lot in back but, never fear, that was just me trying to kick the screen out so I could smuggle beer in.

The smoking rules were lax then - as long as you had a roommate who was cool with smoking in the room, you had a smoking room. My roommate and I both smoked, as did both of the guys who lived in room 100. Since my roommate was psychotic, the vast majority of us smokers found ourselves doing late night bullshitting duty in room 100. Most of the rooms in the dorm were doubles, with two rooms sharing a bathroom. For guys this bathroom sharing thing wasn't a problem. Unless you shared a bathroom with my roommate in which case you'd likely find, well, let's not even discuss it. Or Skip, who occasionally got so drunk he'd fall asleep while sitting on the can. Or me and Steve - we were both obsessed by the fact that our shared bathroom was the first in the series in the dorm and, as such, had some mean suction. We named it Ed and would often stick the first couple inches of a toilet paper roll in the end, flush it, and watch as Ed stripped the roll in about 10 seconds. Or Mikey, who's greatest passion in life was finding a woman who would sit on a toilet while he peed between her legs (he drew diagrams, otherwise it was a very confusing configuration...and he was happy to report at the end of the year that he had indeed found such a woman).

It was in the bathroom of Room 100 that Beth picked me up one night. We would, over the next week, break up with our significant others and move out of the dorm and into an apartment together. We moved fast. But, despite others thinking we were crazy, it seems to have worked out. That bathroom pick-up happened sixteen years ago this weekend.

Posted by Chris at January 26, 2009 6:58 AM

I love this story. All bathroom encounters went downhill from there, right?

Posted by: Maria at January 26, 2009 7:57 AM

That's a cool story! I'm always amazed that people find their true love at a young age - my sister and her husband started dating in h.s., another blogger knew at like 8 years old she was going to marry some kid on the school bus.
When I met my husband I was 27 but it was like that italian lightning bold thing and it hit me in an airport in Montego Bay Jamaica!

Posted by: NancyJak at January 26, 2009 8:02 AM

So are your new (meaning recent years) bathroom adventures the karmic swing of this fabulous bathroom encounter?

Sixteen years - wow!

Posted by: Shelly at January 26, 2009 8:29 AM

Totally cool. You and Beth were just meant to be! My question is, how do you explain it to the kids?

Posted by: Maribeth at January 26, 2009 8:31 AM

Awwww. Cool story. I met my husband in high school by a mutual friend's locker. We dated for about a week then, and years later we ran into each other at a party and rediscovered each other. It's quirky how life happens.

Happy Bathroom-versary.

Posted by: Sarah at January 26, 2009 8:39 AM

When it's right, you know! Happy bathroom-iversary to you and Beth!

Posted by: Krush at January 26, 2009 8:57 AM

Excellent, best bathroom story ever. Congratulations on 16 years.

Posted by: Katherine at January 26, 2009 9:13 AM

I think that calls for congratulations. And I'd like to wish you happiness for many more years - 16+16+16+16, etc.

Posted by: cassie-b at January 26, 2009 9:25 AM

Aw, congratulations, you two! What a great story to tell the kids. Or ... you know ... maybe not.

Posted by: Fraulein N at January 26, 2009 9:27 AM

Aww, Happy Anniversary! So there was always something with you and bathrooms...although seems the universe is now paying you back for that one really good encounter with all the strangeness now!

Posted by: diane at January 26, 2009 9:36 AM

No wonder all the weird shit happens to you in the bathroom now. You used up all your good bathroom karma.

Posted by: caleal at January 26, 2009 9:53 AM

I did not go away for college. I was a commuter.

My eldest daughter, however, is in just such a dorm now...boys one one floor, girls on another.

You just scared the shit out of me. Thanks for that. Happy Monday.

Posted by: Candy at January 26, 2009 9:57 AM

Definitely the best bathroom story!

Posted by: Kelley at January 26, 2009 10:49 AM

You need to write that book of bathroom stories. Seriously.

Posted by: jessica at January 26, 2009 10:50 AM

I love your bathroom stories. This one is definitely my favorite though.

Happy Anniversary (of sorts). :D

Posted by: Jen at January 26, 2009 10:52 AM

No wonder you are a magnet for weird bathroom encounters. Happy anniversary!

Posted by: Wack-a-do at January 26, 2009 10:54 AM

That's a cool story. When you know, you know.

Posted by: Sarah at January 26, 2009 11:03 AM

That's a cool story. When you know, you know.

Posted by: Sarah at January 26, 2009 11:03 AM

Love it...but quiite disturbed by the guy who wanted to pee between a sitting girls legs. Even writing that made me almost pick up my baby and lock her in the closet until she is 30. :)

Posted by: Kristin at January 26, 2009 11:59 AM

I love that you guys have a bathroom story. I happen to have a 12 year old parking lot story, and know that the oddest beginnings can make for the best long-term relationships. Happy 16 years!

Posted by: heels at January 26, 2009 12:36 PM

Wuv, twu wuv, can happen anywhere. Mazel tov on your can-inversary.

Posted by: Brooke Habecker at January 26, 2009 12:59 PM

That is the sweetest horrifying story I've ever heard. You and you bathroom thing, seriously.

Posted by: Mr Lady at January 26, 2009 12:59 PM

Aww, that is the greatest bathroom story I have ever heard, totally.

Posted by: gabrielle at January 26, 2009 12:59 PM

Happy Anniversary!

Posted by: That Girl at January 26, 2009 1:12 PM

Happy Anniversary!

Posted by: Anna at January 26, 2009 1:54 PM

you do have some strange bathroom cosmic karma thing going on. You really should write a book.

Posted by: elissa at January 26, 2009 2:55 PM

See? That's why you have such bad bathroom karma. The best thing in your life came from a bathroom, so now you have to pay back the world.

Posted by: k8 at January 26, 2009 3:52 PM

That's going to be a fun one for the grandkids to retell future generations. At least it's unique, none of that online dating nonsense or mail order bride crap. Ah, young love.

Posted by: CK Lunchbox at January 26, 2009 4:16 PM

You were just destined to have bathrooms play way too an important part in your life :P
(I think that grammar was horrible, but I can't figure it out heh.)

Posted by: Heather at January 26, 2009 5:01 PM

That is absolutely precious, actually. I love to hear, and often ask for, how-we-met stories.
Cheers to your 16 years :-)

Stories of coed dorms and brought back memories of sneaking off the boy's floor and up to the girls' floor bathroom in the middle of the night when I stayed with my boyfriend,
or of super-sneaking and just using the boys' at 2AM in his t-shirt and my socks :-)

Strange to find it odd remembering how my friends and boyfriends lit up at will in college dorm rooms and college apartments. It must be all non-smoking now, huh?

Oh to be in the college years again if even for a little while.

Posted by: Karen at January 26, 2009 6:28 PM

Congrats - that is a long time - what a strong woman! I moved fast with my husband too...we were engaged 4 months after we met (I proposed to him)...when you know you know. Here is to the next 16...and the 16 after that and then the ones that come after that too cheers!

Posted by: Beth at January 26, 2009 7:05 PM

Great story. Wild that you guys moved in that quick AND lasted this long. Rare, so it MUST be true love!

Posted by: coolchick at January 26, 2009 8:17 PM

That is sweet and creepy at the same time.

Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah at January 26, 2009 8:52 PM

This is such a great story! Congrats on 16 years.

My husband and I met at a young age too. When it's right, it's right.

Posted by: Kimberly at January 26, 2009 9:43 PM

Ha ha Some amazing things happen in bathrooms. But then again, some really weird, creepy, and otherwise unforgettable things happen in them too. They're kind of a mixed bag in life.

Posted by: Debra at January 27, 2009 12:30 AM

Okay, screw the "sweet" and "greatest" and "amazing" adjectives above. That is just plain weird and kinda, well, just, dude. Really.


Posted by: mandy at January 27, 2009 1:13 AM

Just thought you might like to know, on Jon & Kate Plus 8 last night - the boys were pulling the same trick with the toilet paper.

Posted by: Amy at January 27, 2009 9:07 AM

Just thought you should know - last night the boys on Jon and Kate Plus 8 were pulling the same trick with the toilet paper.

I guess they read your blog.

Posted by: Amy at January 27, 2009 9:09 AM

opps - double comment.

Posted by: Amy at January 27, 2009 9:10 AM

wow. you just described my freshman dorm experience. living in the dungeon (cluster of four rooms) had it's drawbacks, but it made for some wild wackiness and great memories.

Posted by: platypotamus at January 28, 2009 8:13 AM

Congrats on your anniversary! That's a great story.

Posted by: La Petite Belle at January 31, 2009 7:11 PM