January 2, 2009

The Weeklies #67

The Weekly Amazing Kid Fact. Owen is only eleven months old. Yet, he's clapping and waving on command and doing high fives. More impressive, he has three words - he calls me "dada", knows what a dog is and when seeing anyone says "hi". These are clear, intentional uses of words. Then yesterday when we showed him a picture of a cow he said "moooo". Kid's smart.

The Weekly Crappy Realization. I've got to go back to work on Monday.

The Weekly Sign That I Might Be An Asshole. I saw a very old friend on Facebook yesterday. When I saw that she'd chosen Sarah Palin as her personal hero, I totally avoided adding her as a friend.

The Weekly Read. Chris Cleave's Little Bee is the best book I've read in a very, very long time. There's a handful of books that I come back to over and over again and go into my recommendations to anyone who's ever dabbled in reading the English language - The Bridge (Iain Banks), The Sparrow (Mary Doria Russell), The Ha-Ha (Dave King), What Is The What (Dave Eggers), The Memory of Running (Ron McLarty) - and Little Bee fits perfectly into that list. The back of the book explains two things. First it urges the reader not to share how the story plays out with anyone. Fine, I can do that. No spoilers here. Second it states that the magic of the book is in how the story unfolds. I disagree. The magic is in the way it's written. This book is wise. Cleave, or his characters, clearly look at the world though a slightly different lens than the rest of us. And it's a great thing. When the book comes out (I landed an advance copy but that in no way influenced my opinion of the novel) in February, run out to get it. Put it on your wishlists now.

The Weekly Signs of Age That Annoy Me. I haven't shaved in a week or so. My beard is growing in gray. And I noticed fairly substantial crow's feet when I looked in the mirror yesterday. And while I was moving bookcases yesterday afternoon, I seem to have sprained my left nut. The right one is fine but the left - as well as the overall left side of the crotchal region - is a little painful. Surely that's got to be an age thing.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. Even after being arrested Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich appointed the successor to Obama's senate seat. He's got some great big balls on him.

The Weekly Hypothetical. What will you be most disappointed if you don't do in 2009?

Posted by Chris at January 2, 2009 8:41 AM

Um, I am gonna address the left nut thing. Chris, if it is still hurting after a few days, go get it checked out. Could be a hernia. Sorry, Dude. But, then again, it means you get someone else to play with your nuts besides Beth, and really now, not too many chances at that anymore,eh?

Posted by: Julia at January 2, 2009 9:15 AM

I clicked on Little Bee, because of hearing how good it is, I want to read it. Amazon tells me that it hasn't been released yet. I was wondering where you got a copy.

And congratulations on having two exceptional kids. Of course, good parenting is a big part of that.

I have a facebook account, and keep a pretty low profile. Mostly I just keep up with what the kids in our family are doing. I'd like to be your friend. And Sarah Palin is NOT my personal hero.

Posted by: cassie-b at January 2, 2009 9:34 AM

Ball trauma totally an age thing. I get some, "bt" usually two-three times a year. Ice will help if you are so inclined...

Happy New Year Cactus-Man!

Posted by: JackassJimmy at January 2, 2009 9:54 AM

I will be disappointed if I don't put on a swimsuit at least once in 2009 (having avoided it in 2008 completely, and for most of 2007 as well), since one of the things I'd like to do is be "swimsuit season ready." If I totally fail at that goal, I should at least put on a swimsuit and learn to accept myself as-is, right?

I will refrain from making comments on Blagojevich (even though he's from my home state), because everything pertinent was said in the "Oh Really" segment of Weekend Update on SNL a few weeks ago.

Posted by: Kelly at January 2, 2009 10:24 AM

Wow dude, sorry to hear about the ball issue. You really should be more careful w/ them.

Do you have photographic evidence of this gray stubbleness? I demand it!

2009? Not sure what that holds yet, but I sure hope it's good......

Posted by: Kris at January 2, 2009 10:34 AM

Crotchal region.

That I am not the only one who uses this term makes me feel a little bit relieved.

There's so much I want to do in 2009, so I think there will be much that will disappoint me if I don't get it done. But seriously, TRAVEL more and spend more time with my girlfriends. My best friend and I have just cemented plans to bust outta town in February, so that's an EXCELLENT start.

Posted by: Sarah at January 2, 2009 10:40 AM

Here's hoping your left nut makes a speedy recovery. :)

Posted by: The Stiletto Mom at January 2, 2009 10:52 AM

Have a threesome with a circus clown and a midget (both females, of course).

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at January 2, 2009 10:52 AM

I just have my list up yesterday. Of all my 10 goals, I'll be disappointed if I didn't go take a kung-fu lesson. I really want to find out if it's the martial arts for me. I do like kicking ass when I was in taekwondo. :)

Posted by: Oakley at January 2, 2009 11:05 AM

I'd probably do the same thing over the Palin hero thing.

I'll be disappointed if I don't get myself a new job this year.

Posted by: Katherine at January 2, 2009 11:18 AM

Have my two female doggies have puppies. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will happen.
PS: I would have thought that you would have added this girl to your facebook account, if for no other reason than to help enlighten her!

Posted by: Maribeth at January 2, 2009 12:06 PM

I will be most disappointed if I don't pass my comprehensive exams after 3 years of hard work.

Hope you are feeling 100% soon!!

Posted by: Krush at January 2, 2009 12:12 PM

Ouch. Sounds painful!

I'd be disappointed if we didn't get to take our annual road trip. It's become something Hubs and I really look forward to every year.

I also have to go back to work Monday. I vote for another week off!!

Posted by: scatteredmom at January 2, 2009 12:56 PM

Sounds painful! I hope you feel better soon!

Owen says dada, wow he's a fast one! He's almost one year now.. can you imagine? Where did the year go? In just little over two weeks we'll be celebrating Lisa's first birthday. I am clueless how that happened.

Posted by: Nadine at January 2, 2009 1:15 PM

What a shock to learn that I missed most of the happenings on your blog in '08...as evidenced by the fact that Owen's already 11 months old! Wishing you and your beautiful family a wonderful 2009.

Posted by: Marilyn at January 2, 2009 1:33 PM

It's oh-so lame, but I will be most disappointed if I don't get engaged in 2009. I suppose that's me being most disappointed by something someone else does (asking me to marry them), but I am incredibly tired of everyone asking me when and seeing all of my friends take that step. I am ready. :)

Posted by: Kate at January 2, 2009 1:38 PM

Oh, I know about the age thing. See my blog today if you want for the run down of the aging body!

And I too, am dreading the return to regular schedules on Monday. I've gotten quite used to this half week thing!

I don't know about the disappointments. I mean - I WILL go camping. That's my favorite thing to do of all time. So I guess if I didn't go, I'd be horrified.

Posted by: k8 at January 2, 2009 2:09 PM

It's a bittersweet time to be an Illinoisan. That man brings a whole new meaning to the word "arrogant". And his ego? Wider than Lake Michigan.

I will be highly disappointed if 2009 goes by and I haven't gotten back on the slopes. It has been *way* too long since I've done some (meager) shredding on my board. I don't care if I'm 30.

Posted by: kate at January 2, 2009 3:43 PM

Asshole or discriminating? I'd go with the second.

Happy New Year

Posted by: sunshine at January 2, 2009 3:52 PM

I'll be disappointed if I don't lose weight.

And look for "All the Living" by C.E. Morgan early next year. I had the pleasure of reading the proofs at the end of summer. A debut novel that blew me away.

Posted by: bhd at January 2, 2009 5:38 PM

ouch! that sprain's gotta hurt. LOL

I can't really think of anything I'd be disappointed about, maybe not doing well in my job or being too busy for the gym, but I'll do my best to make sure both of those don't happen.

Posted by: La Petite Belle at January 2, 2009 5:53 PM

i'd be disappointed if i didn't buy some new, sexy underwear.

wait... i think i was thinking of what would disappoint my *husband*...

:\ fail

Posted by: kalen at January 2, 2009 8:05 PM

I don't know if this went through the first time; I got an error message. Anyway, I wrote something like:

Hey, thanks for the plug--much appreciated. And I don't see anything here that suggests you're an asshole. Your old friend, on the other hand...

Happy new year to you and yours.

(Please delete if this is a repeat.)

Posted by: Dave at January 2, 2009 8:26 PM

Ummm... yeah, you might want to get that 'crotchal region' checked out dude. Ouch.

I'm obviously gonna have to check my 'heroes' on Facebook since I haven't qualified as your friend there. You'll forgive me Ronald Reagan, right? ;)

As for 2009, if I don't manage to sell my late parents' house in 2009, I'll be slightly more than disappointed.

Posted by: coolchick at January 2, 2009 9:46 PM

I'll be very diappoointed if I weigh the same or more next year. And yes - Owen is very smart. We haven't been able to get our 18 month old to make the cow=moo connection yet.
Happy New Year!

Posted by: Mom On The Run at January 2, 2009 10:13 PM

My goal? Climb to the top of the Great Wall at Badaling. Without a sherpa to carry my fat ass. I have two chances three months apart, and believe me I'm going to be pissed if I can't make it happen.

In other news, sorry so scarce lately and I'm back on the planet. And oh my God, your kids are precious and growing up so fast-- and I harbor no surprise at all that they're brilliant and cute.

Posted by: Sassy at January 3, 2009 2:26 AM

And furthermore, ouch for the crotchal region. Not at all cool. And ouch.

Posted by: Sassy at January 3, 2009 2:27 AM

where to begin?

ahh yes. that kid of yours. one smart tot indeed. pretty soon every.word.you.say will be echoed and that my friend is when the good times start! and when said day happens, if you can get him to say "ball trauma" (as JJ so eloquently puts it) you can rest easy its all smooth sailing from there.

now onto your 'left boy' that got all bent out of shape...dude stop movin' shit around. and as far as the beard goes, a lil gray makes a man look distinguished. gray pubes on the other hand make me throw up in my mouth. if you find any of those-keep that shit to yourself. mmkay?

now to answer your question-i'll be most disappointed in myself if i don't kill someone in 2009. see i been practicing up on my mad ninja skillz and i just wanna give someone a roundhouse kick the adams apple and totally disappear like a vapor. *poof* okay okay...i'll be really disappointed if i don't find a new job. my 40 hour gig is suckin the life out of me.

Posted by: kimmyk at January 3, 2009 12:29 PM

How does that make you an asshole?

And I guess you didn't hear, my resolution is to be 20% more disappointing in 2009. (For real.)

Posted by: Poppy at January 3, 2009 12:56 PM

I'll be fairly disappointed if I don't lose more baby weight after kid two, that we're planning soon. Though I may be holding my expectations a little too high.

Posted by: Claire at January 3, 2009 4:40 PM

LT's injury would be that much cooler if they called it an injury to the "crotchal region" instead of carping all over the place about the "groin." Do not like the word "groin."

I'll be bummed if I don't make it out of the country this year, and if I don't change jobs.

Posted by: pseudostoops at January 3, 2009 10:32 PM

I'll be most disappointed if I don't have sex--I haven't had sex since before Hurricane Ivan (here on the Gulf Coast, we measure time by hurricanes)!

Posted by: Scott at January 4, 2009 5:54 AM


I will be most disappointed if I don't stay unpacked and settled.

And you MUST see/find a story about the elephant sanctuary in Tennessee and the way the animals pair up. Look for the story on the dog and the elephant. I found it on CBS news. Amazing.

I am with you on the Monday thingy even tho I had to work for a few hours on Friday. Other than relocation, I have not worked since the 12th of Dec.

Posted by: Stella at January 4, 2009 10:07 AM

I added one of my high school boyfriends to my Facebook. His was private so I couldn't really see what his said until I added him. Now I wish I hadn't because he's a huge McCain supporter, a born again Christian and still hasn't gotten anywhere in life (said he was taking classes when we graduated from high school to become a pilot. Apprently from his profile he STILL hasn't finished). Then he sends me an email to tell me he recently got divorced and was wondering if we could go out. I didn't reply. I should have never added him.

Posted by: Shell at January 4, 2009 12:47 PM

Happy New Year back at ya!

PS You are not an asshole. Or I am one too. Either way, if I saw someone had Sarah Palin as her personal hero, there's no fkn way I would be her friend either.

Most disappointed if I don't do it in 2009? There are a few, actually. One would be keep my current job, or get another one as sweet if we do have to move from where we are now.

Posted by: Straight Poop at January 4, 2009 3:48 PM

i read in the paper that the top 3 most admired women are...Hilary Clinton, Sarah Palin,and Oprah.in that order. WHAT? how does that even happen?? SERIOUSLY? Palin? #2 most admired woman???????????

Posted by: ali at January 5, 2009 10:28 AM

I just finished reading "The Sparrow".

Excellent book.

Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah at January 5, 2009 5:11 PM

Wow, 11 months old and speaking more than my 14 month old. Go Owen!! We've got da da (which means everything) and something like quack quack. I was thinking it's a boy thing since his sister started talking at 10 months but maybe not.

He'll talk eventually right??? :-) He can hop out of his crib and climb everything in site though... LOL

Posted by: Steph at January 5, 2009 6:05 PM