January 9, 2009

The Weeklies #68

The Weekly Beverages. Coffee and beer. Without them, I'm not sure I would have made it through the week. Actually, I know it would taste like shit but has anyone ever thought of trying to combine the two?

The Weekly Least Exciting Thing Accompanied By Unsexiest Purchase Ever. We're refinancing the house, closing today. Then we're buying new windows for the entire house. Man, we know how to live.

The Weekly Shittiest Company. Verizon.

The Weekly Scariest Company. WalMart. Are you terrified of the giant retailer taking over the world, or at least the country? Me too. Especially after seeing this video showing the spread of the WalMart Plague.

The Weekly Thing I Learned About Though I Don't Want To Tell You How I Leaned About It. Toilet water is fucking cold.

The Weekly Read. This week, I read Barry Lyga's Boy Toy. Marketed for the teen market, this novel tackles the topic of a sexual relationship between a teacher and one of her male students. And you know, every time you hear something like this on Dateline or the local news, there's some asshat who says lucky bastard. Especially when the teacher is hot. Boy Toy shows the real emotional toll it takes. It's wonderfully written, full of well-developed and likable characters. It tackles, obviously, tough subject matter but does so in a very admirable way. It is, by necessity, sexually explicit but even that's handled well. I really liked the book and despite that I'm way outside of Lyga's intended demographic, I'd happily read anything else by him.

The Weekly Time Waster. Factory Balls. Seriously fascinating.

The Weekly Greatest Product Ever. The Wunder Boner.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. Anyone who bought the Wunder Boner.

The Weekly Tragic Death. I hate to end on a low note, but I'd like to request a moment of silence for Dorothy The Fish. Oh Dorothy, you were in our lives only a short time but I feel as though we lost an old friend. I'll miss the way you swam around your bowl and plucked the little fish food flakes from the surface. I'm a little bitter about the conversation you made me have with Mia yesterday afternoon but live and let live. Uh, wait. I wish you happy diving in heaven little buddy. Swim In Peace (SIP).

Posted by Chris at January 9, 2009 7:26 AM

There are a number of coffee flavored beers. Just so you know.

Posted by: jodifur at January 9, 2009 7:54 AM


Posted by: buzz at January 9, 2009 7:57 AM

I know there's caffeinated beer too...because people are weird.
And the wunder boner.... is that real?? Crrrazy.

Posted by: Heather at January 9, 2009 8:02 AM

We have been so spoiled, having purchased houses while relocating. The relo companies took care of everything, right down to the closing costs. And now we're in the middle of refinancing and my jaw is regularly on the floor because holy crap, do people really shell out thousands of dollars at closing? What the hell? Spoiled, I tell you, spoiled and kept in a bubble, apparently.

Also, I am apparently quite old because I cannot understand what the hell is supposed to be going on with that factory ball game. I can get the ball blue and taped up but then it just sits there. What am I supposed to be doing? Because I'm just shaking a fist at the screen and muttering "consarn it!"

Posted by: laura gf at January 9, 2009 8:12 AM

You know there is someone in a trillion dollar mansion with heated toilet bowl water.

Posted by: Sarah at January 9, 2009 8:14 AM

I remember playing with Dorothy in the park. Good times.

No, wait, that wasn't a fish.

On an unrelated note, isn't it getting close to around delurker day again? Has anyone chosen a date?

Posted by: SciFi Dad at January 9, 2009 8:24 AM

Scariest Company: There isn't one within the five boroughs of NYC and not from lack of trying on their part.

Greatest Product Ever: That thing makes me want to hurl. Shudder!

Tragic Death: SIP Dorothy.

Schadenfreude: Mine is personal this week. It goes to the asshats who don't understand what "busy" means and who insist on having meetings to discuss things that don't require discussion. Stress is at an all-time high and I have zero tolerance for foolishness right now.

Have a great weekend!

Posted by: Maria at January 9, 2009 8:25 AM

Oh poor Dorothy! Listen I with the wunderboner was real because we love to fish, but I hate to clean them!
What no weekly hypothetical? And here I was ready to make the world a better place! lol!

Posted by: Maribeth at January 9, 2009 8:27 AM

Wal-mart plague video - scary. seriously.

totally love the Wonder Boner!! Where was this for Christmas!! Could have covered everyone on my shopping list - ha!

Posted by: Debbie at January 9, 2009 8:39 AM

Actually Anheueser-Busch makes a beer called B3 I think, its caffeinated and Molson makes one as well called Molson Kick...

Posted by: Darren at January 9, 2009 8:45 AM

a.) That game is ridiculously addictive!
b.) WalmMart does scare the crap out of me and I try to go there as infrequently as possible. We live in a city of only 200,000 people and we have 4 Supercenters.
c.)Can I ask which company you used to refinance? We have to do the same thing very soon.

Posted by: Claire at January 9, 2009 8:51 AM

Because I'm originally from Ohio, I'm very familar with the Drew Carey Show, on which they spent a good bit of time home brewing...coffee flavored beer. It was called Buzz Beer, if my memory serves me.

There are also a lot of really delicious, and expensive, beers that have a quite wonderful coffee taste. If you're interested, I'm sure I could come up with a few names...

Posted by: Arwen at January 9, 2009 8:58 AM

Ive had the B3. Once. I'm sticking to my patented rotation of water, coffee, whiskey, beer, water, coffee, whiskey, beer, repeat as often as needed.

Posted by: Lora at January 9, 2009 9:05 AM

a lot of stouts out there either go for a coffee-ish flavor, or even incorporate some into the recipe...


Posted by: platypotamus at January 9, 2009 9:23 AM

Dorothy went belly up?! Already?? That's sad. My fish had the decency to wait at least 6 months before visiting the great toilet bowl in the sky.

Also, combining coffee and beer is gross. You solve this problem by combining coffee and whisky. :D

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at January 9, 2009 9:24 AM

I actually have a friend who puts a shot of coffee flavored liqueur in her beer. Not sure if I would like it, but can't hurt to try!
Aww Dorothy, SIP

Posted by: diane at January 9, 2009 9:37 AM

I agree with the person who said something about Stouts being coffee flavored. My fav used to be one of the Rogue beers (I cannot remember which however it has been a few years...) but you have to like a dark thicker beer that is meant to be sipped and not sucked down. Also the buzz is crazy with a stout!

Hey we are refinancing as well but no new windows. We are just looking to save a crap load of moola. And I might want granite counter tops... A girl can dream!

Posted by: Christina at January 9, 2009 9:39 AM

I just posted about how I need wine at this very moment due to stress at my own job. *LOL* So apparently my weekly beverage of choice is wine. Preferable Amarone or Montepulciano my two favorites.

Posted by: Deirdre at January 9, 2009 9:39 AM

First, SIP Dorothy.

Second, I'm terribly intrigued as to just how you found out the coldness of toilet water (also waiting for picture proof of that gray chin scruff ;) )

Weekly Fav Word: Fucker. especially when playing wii. evil machinery that it is.

Posted by: Kris at January 9, 2009 9:41 AM

didnt you ever watch Drew Carey Show? Buzz beer! or the competitor Cap-Beer-Cino??? actually that show was really funny. highly recommend. question....is closing for a refinance as crazy expensive as when you close when you buy the house??? that was a killer!

Posted by: madmom at January 9, 2009 9:57 AM

Strangely enough, I loathe the taste of beer, and also the taste of coffee. I was on a date once and was convinced to try some coffee-flavored ale, and surprisingly, it was the closest I came to ever enjoying either of the two.

Posted by: Rachel at January 9, 2009 10:01 AM

our lives are so kick ass... rock on new windows.

Posted by: Holly at January 9, 2009 10:01 AM

wunder boner! *snort*

between that and the Amish-made Heat surge fireplace commercial...my day has been made!

Posted by: ali at January 9, 2009 10:03 AM

Dear Dorothy,
May you find friends and companionship with Fishie 1, Fishie 2, and Fishie 3.


Posted by: jessica at January 9, 2009 10:16 AM

Um, yeah, so that Factory Balls game? Thanks a lot. Because I don't currently have enough distractions keeping me from doing real work.

Posted by: Jenny at January 9, 2009 10:20 AM

I just lost 30 minutes on that ball game. Love it!

Posted by: SassyPants at January 9, 2009 10:22 AM

Creepy WalMart footage.

As an avid homebrewer and person who loves micro brews... Yes, they do have coffee beer mixes. It isn't truly a mix of coffee and beer but more a hint of coffee in your beer, and it tastes wonderful. :)

Posted by: Jen R. (aaron-n-jen.com) at January 9, 2009 10:24 AM

The very first commenter said it...there are a bunch of truly outstanding beers involving coffee. Let me know if you're interested and I'll hook you up with a list.

And what the hell is the point of that Factory Balls game? I just spent 5 minutes of my life dragging balls into a box with seemingly no point other than to endlessly drag balls into a box until I'm dead.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at January 9, 2009 11:35 AM

OH MY FREAKING GOD, how do I get flowers on only the top half of that ball?

Posted by: Elise at January 9, 2009 12:06 PM

I can't believe that it took until 1992 or 1993 to get a Walmart in Washington state.

Posted by: Rex at January 9, 2009 12:10 PM

Oh ho ho ho, WOOHOO, never mind!

Posted by: Elise at January 9, 2009 12:12 PM

I seeeriously need a job, don't I. :-|

Posted by: Elise at January 9, 2009 12:14 PM

I just spent an hour playing that ball game.


Posted by: k8 at January 9, 2009 12:47 PM

Apparently I wouldn't have made it through the week without coffee and liquor (rum, to add to my diet coke, to be exact). Lots of social activities, and more to come... :)

Posted by: Zandria at January 9, 2009 12:51 PM

The thought of coffee and beer together grosses me out a bit.

New windows, man you do know how to live. I think we're as cool as you and Beth, because we just decided to take the plunge and replace all of our doors...you know with ones that don't suck out all of the heat. Livin large.

Posted by: Issa at January 9, 2009 12:58 PM

When I go out to eat, I like to order my "hat trick" of beverages - a cup of coffee, a beer, and a glass of water. I don't mix them, but having all three in the same meal is surprisingly satisfying.

Posted by: Ross at January 9, 2009 1:15 PM

Actually, buying new windows, while rather unsexy, is a very rewarding purchase. I'm so very happy with my new windows…think of all the $$ you'll save on heating/cooling.
On second thought, when did I become a middle-aged housewife who gets excited by remodeling projects?

Posted by: beth at January 9, 2009 1:42 PM

Dude...thanks for the link to factory balls. I'm afraid my Christmas decorations will never come down because every waking moment will be filled with playing factory balls instead of putting them away! Weird but awesome game! Love the Myst-like music.

My condolences on Dorothy!

Posted by: cyndy at January 9, 2009 2:54 PM

OK, so I just wasted about 45 minutes on factory balls, and I'm stuck on level 19, I know I'm pretty pathetic, thanks for making me even more.

And Mia has our deepest sympathies. (sniff)

Posted by: Samantha at January 9, 2009 3:37 PM

And you thought you were joking about the coffee and beer thing.

A bar in Denver served a pint of Guinness with a shot of espresso poured in. It was weirdly rich and delicious.

Posted by: her royal troutship at January 9, 2009 8:20 PM

Aw, poor Dorothy. Has she been replaced yet?

Posted by: Dianna at January 9, 2009 8:36 PM

How the hell are you able to refinance with the rates remaining so low? More curious, because for us to refinance, the rates would have to drop at least a full percent, but preferably two. I know we bought our houses around the same time. I'd love to knock a few bucks off this bitch and maybe get some money back in the process so that we could do something with it. Like get a dining room table or something. Maybe a crockpot. Whatever. Ha.

Posted by: statia at January 10, 2009 8:37 AM

WOW is all I have to say about Factory balls (hehe balls). Addictive much?? Yikes!

Sorry to hear about Dorothy. And Dorothy II. But I will say that kids bounce back and can handle a lot. I had to deal with death at a young age (huge family, several deaths over the years) and honestly, it's made it a lot easier to deal with as an adult because I learned at a young age that it is just a part of life.
....if that's any comfort :)

Posted by: Fattylumpa at January 10, 2009 9:16 AM

LMAO @ Wunder Boner!

And thanks so much for the game. I got tripped up somewhere around Level 13 and finally had the sense to stop. Sheesh.

SIP Dorothy.

Posted by: coolchick at January 10, 2009 10:31 AM

That deboner is the most savage thing I've ever seen and the Factory Balls game is like a tooth ache. I want to keep touching it but I know it's going to hurt. ow! ow! ow!

Posted by: Johnny Smoke at January 10, 2009 3:35 PM

Level 19 has got to be the most frustrating thing ever. I'm stuck.

Posted by: coolchick at January 11, 2009 2:01 PM

I have always hated Walmart. Though "I appreciate them being a fine example of capitalism and what you can accomplish in America, I cannot let go of how many communities they have destroyed, how many people they have put OUT of work, and their overseas business practices. Wow this is a real diatribe for early Monday morning. Thanks for posting the video.

Posted by: Kristne at January 12, 2009 7:04 AM

When you're in not good state and have got no money to go out from that, you will require to receive the loan. Because that should aid you definitely. I get college loan every year and feel good just because of that.

Posted by: ConwayMildred at September 16, 2010 7:35 AM