February 20, 2009

The Weeklies #74

The Weekly Time Waster. Be a Virtual Juggler!

The Weekly Pain In The Ass. I have to take my car in - AGAIN - to get worked on. Fucking German engineering.

The Weekly Read. A few weeks ago, I read Safer by Sean Doolittle. It was a really strong showing by an author I'd previously regarded as a writer of forgettable, throw-away mysteries. So I bought Rain Dogs. And while it was decent, it fell more into the forgettable category as opposed to wildly recommend. It was good, sure, but it just failed to grab me and keep my attention.

The Weekly Answer To The Question That's Been Bothering You. B. The answer is always B.

The Weekly Music. You know I'm a dork and my favorite band is old-school Genesis (not the poppy 80's version but the earlier progressive rock period). Another one of my favorite bands is Spock's Beard, even though mastermind Neal Morse (who may literally be the most talented musician on the face of the planet) departed leaving drummer Nick D'Virgilio to take the mic (a la Genesis...coincidence?). Anyway, Nick decided he wanted a challenge so he rearranged the Genesis concept classic The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway and re-recorded it. It's called Rewiring Genesis and it's insanely good. What makes it unique is that, unlike the progressive rock original, there are no keyboards on the album at all. They've all been replaced by strings, and brass, and woodwinds...and accordions. And while it sounds strange it somehow works. If you're a fan of Genesis and are willing to admit it, or you just like good unique music, check this one out.

The Weekly Beer. Longboard Island Lager from Kona Brewing Company.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. If you're Roland Burris and you've just been picked by disgraced and soon-to-be-inevitably-impeached Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich and you are not ethically challenged or in any way hiding anything, don't you do the stand-up thing and say I appreciate the fact that I was nominated for the position but in light of the current governor's legal issues, specifically those revolving around the seat that I am now nominated to occupy, I will decline unless higher authorities tell me its okay? See, that's kind of what I thought he should do. But he didn't. And that bothered me. And now he's under investigation of a Senate ethics committee. Are we supposed to be surprised?

The Weekly Hypothetical. You can invent one device to do anything. What thing to you invent and why?

Posted by Chris at February 20, 2009 5:26 AM

Wow. I'm much better at juggling in real life than on the damn computer!

And how about I invent a device to go to work for me, while I stay home and hone my virtual juggling skills!

Posted by: coolchick at February 20, 2009 6:39 AM

Already sent the link of Genesis tribute to the hubby. He will appreciate it.

Posted by: Debbie at February 20, 2009 7:16 AM

I'm really into the whole Jetsons thing, where you just walk into this chamber and come out showered, dressed and fixed up. Then I could sleep more!

Posted by: Stephanie at February 20, 2009 7:26 AM

A teleporting machine. My boyfriend is moving to a different state and it would be nice to not have to deal with that whole driving multiple hours to spend one day together business.

Posted by: tutugirl1345 at February 20, 2009 7:30 AM

Weekly Time Waster(s): www.fmylife.com and www.secrettweet.com. Some of these are too funny for words.

Weekly Music: I've been shuffling through my albums and randomly adding songs to "now playing."

Weekly Beer: www.bluemoonbeer.com Orange beer.

Weekly Schadenfreude: Yes, he should have considering he too had issues.

Weekly Hypothetical: A device to cure cancer. The why goes without saying.

Have a great weekend.

Posted by: Maria at February 20, 2009 8:06 AM

Some sort of device that would wipe out all awful ailments like cancer, Lou Gehrigs, Parkinsons, etc. The more that I learn about the human body and what can go wrong with it, the more scared I get.. Google levator ani syndrome...and you will see what I mean.

Posted by: Jen at February 20, 2009 8:28 AM

I would invent a common sense zapper for all the asshats we have to put up with!
As far as the weekly time waster goes - just say no! (thanks, Nike) to digital crack!
Happy Weekend Everyone!

Posted by: LaineyDid at February 20, 2009 8:38 AM

Time machine that would allow you not to go back and relive your life because we all learned from back to the future that one thing can screw everything up but rather allow you to go back and view your life or other events in history without being able to alter them and without being your presence being detected. Think of the arguments you could win by going back and saying...see look!!

Posted by: Darren at February 20, 2009 9:16 AM

I'm still playing last week's time waster! I may have a bubble spinner problem.

I immediately thought of six different things I'd like to invent, and drawbacks for for all of them, so I'm going to have to answer "B" for the weekly hypothetical.

Do you have a VW? Because I had a Jetta that did nothing but break down for three years. It drove me right back into the arms of Honda!

Posted by: bad penguin at February 20, 2009 10:02 AM

I so want to just be able to think myself somewhere and be there. None of this flying crap. Because I'm stuck in the airport right now and I wish I was just already at my sister's. And perhaps still in bed.

Posted by: k8 at February 20, 2009 10:39 AM

You drive a Jetta?

I feel your pain.

Posted by: Allan at February 20, 2009 10:46 AM

Love Genesis, I actually enjoy it all. There were a few in the pop years that sucked, but I could find something to like in most of their work.

I would invent a keyboard for computers that shocks the living crap out of someone who types anything stupid and then hits post..ZZZZZAP

Ow crap, that hurts

Posted by: Jeff A at February 20, 2009 10:56 AM

I would invent a poop-detector. A device that works like a baby monitor, except it remotely tells you if your child has pooped in the middle of the night and needs a diaper change, without you having to enter the room and do the smell test.

My son routinely wakes up at 5am because he had pooped - but sometimes he wakes up for the heck of it, and I trudge up there, go into his room and pick him up to do the smell test only to find out I've wasted my time and totally woken him up so he won't go back to sleep. Grrr...

Posted by: Amy at February 20, 2009 11:11 AM

Longboard is one of our favorites, but we can never seem to find it here in Houston. It always seems to be where we are vacationing, so we have just settled on it as our "vacation beer."

Posted by: Jen at February 20, 2009 11:35 AM

I would totally invent a device that would teleport a sleeping baby from my arms into the crib without waking said baby up. God I would love that...

Posted by: carrster at February 20, 2009 11:54 AM

This website is being featured on Five Star Friday!

Posted by: schmutzie at February 20, 2009 2:22 PM

Out of curiousity, did you get that beer at the new Teeter? They're really pushing it there and I tasted some at the Grand Opening. It was quite good!

Posted by: La Petite Chic at February 20, 2009 3:25 PM

Heheh, welcome to the wonderful world of Volkswagon. Did you know we fit our entire family into a small VW Polo? It is insane. We're thinking of buying a Ford Mondeo.

I would like a machine that could freeze time so I could relax a bit from time to time!

Posted by: Nadine at February 20, 2009 3:29 PM

I hear you on the stupid-ass German engineering. I HATE our 2003 VW Passat with a passion. So many stupid and expensive problems. Our Honda Pilot has never been in the shop, our Toyotas before that were problem-free too. Never again. We're trading it in for a Honda Accord first chance we get.

Posted by: iheartnewyork at February 20, 2009 4:10 PM

Hands down- teleportation...something like where you just push a button and you are there safe and sound with your luggage.

Posted by: Amy at February 20, 2009 5:36 PM

Sorry about your German engineered car, sounds like me when I talk about my American engineered pickup.

The invention thing is a permutation of the "you get one wish" thing, and my strategy for that has always been to find a loophole that grows that single wish into many. In this case, I'd use that strategy to invent an "inventing machine." Not only would it be fun and profitable, but once I had my "inventing machine" I could help anyone with anything. (From the comfort of my solid gold rocket-house. I don't need much.)

Posted by: rpm at February 20, 2009 7:31 PM

Not all German engineering is bad. I drive a 318 BMW, and it hasn't given me any problems. Ok... It's over 30 years, built 1979, with no jammed packed electronics and other crap under the hood which break down every other month. They don't make them like they use to.

I would invent an energy drink that you would only have to drink once for breakfast, making you feel well rested no matter how many hours you slept, giving a person more time to visit their blog friends and lurk new ones.

Posted by: VidDigger at February 20, 2009 9:14 PM

Too bad about your car...we have a Jetta that's awesome. Never had a problem (knock on wood).

I'd invent the Star Trek transporter. I'd love to drop by my mom's for tea, have dinner in Spain and then sleep in my own bed.

Posted by: Carmen at February 20, 2009 11:01 PM

I'd invent an electrified fooling machine, so I could finally fool my hubby on the foolingest day of the year. He says I couldn't do it, but I'm pretty sure he's just overconfident.

I can't get to your weekly crack-fix. I don't know what's worse: having the weekly crack or not having it. So far not having it sucks pretty bad! :-)

Posted by: harmzie at February 21, 2009 12:00 AM

Dangit, I always thought the answer was C! Now I'm going to have to go back to high school and retake all those multiple choice tests :P

Posted by: Heather at February 21, 2009 1:38 AM

Hiya Chris,
Just a quick question. I just finished a VERY DEEP read. Quite mind altering at its best...have you read 'The Shack' by W.P Young? Amazing.

Posted by: CHERYL at February 21, 2009 1:04 PM

A wand, like one of those metal detector types, that would detect bullshit.

Posted by: Sphincter at February 22, 2009 12:25 PM

mmmm i love me some longboard lager. tried it for the first time on the North side of Waikiki. SO GOOD.

jealous you get it there and i, do not, here in canada.

also, get your kids a dog.

Posted by: colleen at February 26, 2009 1:11 AM