March 10, 2009


Let's get this clear right off the bat. I'm no prude. I could never be accused of being averse to fun. I am vaguely crude and most definitely politically incorrect. And I have a sense of humor. I mean, after all, I used the phrase fucking a headless underage midget in a post last week. That has to prove something (other than the fact that I have remarkably bad taste sometimes). So having established that, there's something I need to get off my chest and I will sound decidedly unfun doing so.

But there's a story first. Because I'm not good at cutting to the chase or making a point in less than 1000 words.

I was in a meeting a week or so ago that stretched well into happy hour. After it was over, we decided to hit a local bar for a drink. Not surprisingly, it was there that the topic of drinking came up. There was lots of conversation about getting trashed, efficient ways in which one could get trashed, places to accomplish said trashing. Worthy pastimes like beer pong, ice luges, flip cup and asshole were mentioned. And, invariably, the tales of drunken stupidity were broken out next. It sounded a little like high school, when the Friday-night conversation invariably involved questions like who are we going to get to buy the beer and statements like man, I'm gonna get fucked up tonight. Except this is, for me, 17 years later. I felt old. And kinda isolated. And a little left out.

And then I realized, I just don't get it. As we established up at the beginning of the post, I'm fun. And not a prude. After years of strict self-imposed sobriety*, I've picked up the beer habit again. I love me some beer. I spent plenty of time being appropriately drunk in high school and early on in college before said self-imposed wagon-riding-on. In short, I don't begrudge anyone getting their drink on but, well, don't you reach a period in your life after which getting fucked up isn't or shouldn't be your prime motivation for living? And if it is, shouldn't you seek professional help?

Please tell me I'm not boring. I mean, I am but don't tell me that. I'm happy with my couple of beers in the evening, a decided lack of wild parties and subsequent worshiping of the porcelain god, in favor of hanging out with my family. I suspect that some people my age have never truly graduated from high school. Kids will put you in that virtual cap and gown damn quick.

So, is it just me that seems like that whole "lets get fucked up" is a little too Ridgemont High for my 36 year old self? Or am I just that boring?

* An explanation might be helpful here. My self-imposed booze blackout came at a strange time - freshman year in college. Interesting time to stop drinking, huh? Why, you may ask? Because I found myself on anti-depressants and other assorted things to make the panic attacks stop. I wasn't sure how nicely all those things would play together. For some reason - even after the blinding panic attacks stopped - I didn't cave to the power of beer. Consider that problem now rectified.

Posted by Chris at March 10, 2009 6:20 AM

Chris, I stopped years ago of even remotely going out with colleagues, co-workers, or anyone related to work. I keep my "drinking, out on the weekend Lee" very far away from anything job related.

It's just good practice.

Call me or you or the next guy a prude (I've been called that) but I really don't need to see "Hank" from security get sh*t-canned and profess some ridiculous statement he would normally never divulge.

If I'm going to get crazy and drunk, it'll be on my terms in a controlled non-drama filled environment. Don't get me wrong, I like to partake in the joys of alcohol but I'm not going to paint the town anytime soon.

Posted by: Lee at March 10, 2009 7:20 AM

It's pretty lame to my 25 year old self, too, so I'll come join you over in the corner ;)

Posted by: Heather at March 10, 2009 7:45 AM

No, you aren't old. I was surrounded by that conversation all the time in the Army. I mean, granted, a lot of the people having said conversation were young soldiers with nothing else to do, or married w/o kids.

Now, I like to have a drink now and again. We have a Friday night dinner/gathering with another couple. Every Friday night, one of us makes dinner for all...NINE of us. 4 adults, 5 kids between us. We usually have a cocktail or two.

Now, it's happened that one or more of us have accidentally ended up oh-how-did-this-happen-drunk. I don't like feeling that way, nor do I enjoy the subsequent hangover the next day. So, no, I don't ever set out to get "trashed".

My husband, 9 years my junior, doesn't either.

I don't think it's age, man. I honestly think people use that to fill something they are missing. We just happen to have it. We have what we want in life, so we don't need to escape, ya know?

Posted by: Holly Reynolds at March 10, 2009 7:51 AM

Zzzzzzzzzz, zrch snit

Oh, I'm sorry, were you saying something?

No, I am with you on this. I have some friends who never matured past senior year in high school. I gave up getting trashed several years ago in favor of actually enjoying my beer.

Posted by: Jeff A at March 10, 2009 7:56 AM

Nothing wrong with drinking responsibly. The people that drink to get drunk either A) have a problem or B) never matured past the pre-legal drinking age fascination with getting trashed because it was taboo.

I enjoy a beer or two in the evening. A nice vodka and cranberry or a margarita on a hot summer day. But I also enjoy being able to wake up in the morning without my head felling like it was splitting open and vomiting up my stomach lining. The thoughts of wasting an entire day laying in bed nursing a hangover don't excite me.

Posted by: Lisa at March 10, 2009 8:10 AM

No, I agree with you. For a while. we had some friends who were about 4 years younger than us and were always partying. Before we had kids, this was fine but we still weren't heavy drinkers. Now, I don't really care as much about it but they sort of shun us. It's funny how that happens.

Posted by: Claire at March 10, 2009 8:14 AM

Having returned to school, I am surrounded by my fair share of the "woo-hoo let's get loaded" crowd. But the same sentiment seems to exist among my husband's peers at work. I think we're just old or, *gasp* mature?

I'd rather be with my family.

Posted by: sunshine at March 10, 2009 8:15 AM

I'm as boring as you then. I stopped "partying" the day I woke up and my last memory was standing in a lake with my friends. The fact that I might have drowned just took all that fun out of me. I still have a drink occasionally but I just don't get the "get drunk til you puke" reasoning.

Additionally if I do drink too much it takes WAY too long to recover now.

Posted by: daisy at March 10, 2009 8:20 AM

My husband and I are a little younger than you and we're already there. We've actually had to self-exile ourselves from some of our friends because we can't abide the behavior and resulting DRAMA anymore. They insist on trying to remain 21 at heart, and I'm so over that.

Posted by: Jaime at March 10, 2009 8:22 AM

Well, I'm 38 and stopped partying shortly after my 21st birthday. Why? Because it suddenly seemed pretty stupid to want to get so drunk that you got sick. Then I graduated, got a job, got married, bought a house, had kids and, oh yeah, GREW UP!

I have a relative, by marriage, who is married with a small child and still routinely gets fucked up to the point of vomiting. Once threw up so much there was blood! This person was convinced it was due to some mysterious medical ailment and not at all from the vast quantities of wine and/or tequila consumed.

So, no. I don't think you are boring. I think the others are just sad.

Posted by: Traci at March 10, 2009 8:25 AM

You are NOT boring (and neither am I, for that matter). It's just that, for many of us, there comes a point where drinking solely for the purpose of 'getting fucked up' is no longer what it's all about. For me, I think that time was shortly after I turned 21. I just stopped seeing the 'fun' of drinking like I was a fish.

That being said, that doesn't mean that I don't like to have myself a drink here or there. I usually don't get past two drinks at a sitting -- I don't need any more than that. Just get a buzz and move along, so to speak.

So, no, there's nothing wrong with us peeps who choose not to get blitzed on a regular basis. Oh, and yes, kids will (generally) straighten your ass up right quick, but I don't have kids yet. I'm properly straightened out before I have 'em. I think that it's all about something called 'life' and actually experiencing it without being consistently numb from alcohol.

But, that's just my take on it.

Posted by: ironic1 at March 10, 2009 8:26 AM

I find an occasional beer or glass of wine is great. What disturbs me are the people who drink way too much all of the time and just don't get it.

Posted by: Maribeth at March 10, 2009 8:30 AM

My co-workers husband is 29. He drinks from the time he gets home until he blacks out from drinking every single night. They have an almost 2 year old daughter. He goes out every weekend and gets f'd up beyond belief. And he thinks this is *fun.* He was proud of my co-worker, because she drank 5 beers and did 5 shots in about 2 hours, and was getting sick on the way home, and he didn't/couldn't pull over, and was proud of her for holder her throw up in her mouth for over a minute...

To me, at 22, I find that ridiculous. I don't find that fun. I've only been drunk once. And I didn't like it at all, and I don't ever want to be that way again. I don't find that boring at all.

Posted by: secha at March 10, 2009 8:40 AM

22? Drunk once?

Good luck with that dude...seriously, I can't even imagine what that is like. Not judging or being hateful, I just can't imagine.

Posted by: Lee at March 10, 2009 8:46 AM

Do you remember the aftermath of getting "fucked up"? There is no amount of fun worth feeling like you're going to die for the following 24 hours. You just happen to have a better memory than your coworkers. And, I'm 23, so feeling that way has nothing to do with being old.

Posted by: tutugirl1345 at March 10, 2009 8:48 AM

You are not crazy. I, like the majority of your readers, am right there with you too; and I know I've mentioned several times how much I like to drink. I love it. But here is the distinction. I love to drink, but I don't love to be hungover or make an @ss of myself. There is a distinct difference.
Also, here's a bit of advice my mother gave me many many years ago, and that I will suggest you tuck away to use on Mia and Owen later : "Go out to be entertained, NOT to BE the entertainment."

I realize this is all part of why I've become "The Man", the fact that I value my professional reputation and would rather not share those experiences with co-workers. Or just even the fact that I'd like to drink and not necessary to be falling down drunk. But being "The Man" has it's set of perks. Like a nice salary, and a job in this economy, and being able to afford really really good wine!

Yea. It's called growing the f up. I'm glad for all the stories I have. I'm enjoying my life. But I'm also very glad that at 35, I'm not the entertainment. That would just be sad.

Posted by: varinia at March 10, 2009 8:49 AM

I have NEVER understood how getting pissed to the hilt is fun. Hanging over the crapper the next morning, headaches? What?

I got that drunk ONCE. I NEVER did it again.

I LOVE to get my drink on. I have a few, loosen up, get silly, and that's it.

One thing to keep in mind, is that in addition to some people just never growing up, for some, their lives are so bad (or they THINK that they are so bad) that getting wasted (in whatever form) is a total escape from reality. It is how they get away.

My life sucks in unimaginable ways right now. But drowning my sorrows in a bottle is NOT going to make all the bad stuff go away.

I wish it would, however. *sigh*

Posted by: Jen at March 10, 2009 8:49 AM

I seem to be in the minority, but I'm okay with that. I'm somewhere in between you (and the above posters) and your co-workers.

While 'getting trashed' is not now nor has it ever been 'my reason for living', I have been known on occassion to set out to get drunk.

I, too, had a self-imposed period of sobriety; from the age of 15 (when I knew already knew at that young age I would quickly go down a path I didn't want to go) until the age of 25. No, I did not even drink on my 21st birthday.

Now, I'm in my mid-thirties and the majority of the time I will have some wine or a couple of beers on the weekend but that's about it. However, with 2 kids and a full-time job, once in a while I'll go out with the girls and get drunk. It's therapeutic; being both cheaper and more fun than a massage. We're responsible about it, having either designated drivers set up beforehand or a cab available. Sometimes we even get hotel rooms. And, for the record, I've only ever gotten sick once while drinking.

I equate getting drunk to saying the word 'fuck'. It's not always appropriate and you wouldn't do it all the time, but once in a while, it's the only thing that will do.

Posted by: fauve at March 10, 2009 8:53 AM

I'm with you on this... and I'm a bit younger than you (almost 28!). There are occasional weekends with friends that I get a little wild, but those are few and far between. More often than not I'm the sober one looking around and wondering what the heck everyone is doing. Oh, and I also have my camera ready to capture the memories :)

I think there does need to be a point in your life when you ask yourself, 'what am I doing?' If that drunken stuff is all you look forward to, there's a problem.

Posted by: Kate at March 10, 2009 8:59 AM

I've never been into drinking and haven't had a drink for the past few years as it triggers my IBS. But I've always felt like the old (even if that's not true) boring one when I've been out with colleagues. We've recently had a load of new staff and they are all into Friday night post-work drinks. I just can't be bothered with that at all so don't go and don't care if they think I'm boring, I'd rather spend time at home with Jon, or with people whom it doesn't matter whether you're gettting drunk or not.

Posted by: Katherine at March 10, 2009 9:08 AM

No, I totally feel the same way. The reason it was so cool to get fucked up was because we were so young and irresponsible. That was the perfect time, and recalling those days is fun. However, re-living them is a nightmare and could not be further from a good time.

I'm not saying I stop at 2 beers nowadays. But I CAN tell you the last time I got drunk enough to 1) not remember portions of the night [affectionately called "time traveling"] 2) puke from drinking too much. It was my 25th birthday, and it was the Final Lesson.

Posted by: Brad at March 10, 2009 9:18 AM

I'm with fauve. I think everyone has a "getting trashed is fun" time of her life. Since I was a Southern Baptist in my college years, I turned up my nose at drinking. But then when I turned forty, I discovered the occasional GNO can be pretty fun, especially if you stay at home with the friends and the breathalyzer.

Posted by: TheQueen at March 10, 2009 9:18 AM

I think it depends. For single people, that's what they live for. Getting fucked up. If you're married you look forward to the weekends to tie one on.

But on some level, I do agree. First of all, if you've got young kids, who the hell is going to take care of them in the morning if you're still drunk, or you've got a hangover so bad that your head is pulsating?

That's not to say I don't enjoy getting a little blitzed now and then. I was hanging out with friends of ours last year, right before the Mini turned a year old, and before you know it, three of us had somehow polished off four bottles of wine (and they had also split a bottle before coming over, but they're empty nesters, so they don't really have kid responsibilities) and the next morning, I was so hungover. I remember thinking, "why is this fun? I should I have just stopped at a few glasses when I was feeling good, not stupid." We had to go out to get stuff for the Mini's bday party and I remember saying to the hubs to just take me home, and I ended up not making it, but puking in a plastic bag in our car. Dude, I'm like 33 years old with a family. It just isn't worth it. But I do end up usually getting shitfaced once a year. And I usually alert the Meester that I'll be doing so. Otherwise, a few to feel the buzz, I don't see the problem with.

I actually miss drinking more during this pregnancy than I did with the Mini. Probably because I wasn't dealing with toddlerhood. There's nothing better than putting your kid to bed, breathing a sigh of relief because you made it through another day, and then going downstairs and making yourself a cocktail.

I guess I can't sum up a comment in 1000 words or less.

Posted by: statia at March 10, 2009 9:26 AM

I stopped drinking at 16 (22 LONG years ago), because I liked it a bit too much... but even with my addictive nature, I see how that could get SO OLD after a while. My husband drinks now and then, but never to the stupid, sloppy, vomiting point. He says the recovery time is just too awful now. Even more sad? I feel the same way about not getting eight hours of sleep...

Posted by: jane at March 10, 2009 9:26 AM

I'm 37. Getting drunk just for the sake of it stopped being fun years ago. That's when I stopped having beer and discovered Single Malt and Port and fabulous wine.

Nowadays instead of buying six cases of beer, I buy one good bottle and enjoy it.

I also like spending time with my family. ;-)

Posted by: LeSombre at March 10, 2009 9:26 AM

I have never understood the appeal of getting drunk, even in high school. Maybe that makes me a loser, but I just don't see the point in having "fun" you won't remember the next morning. No problem at all with loosening up a bit. But drink-til-you-make-bad-choices-and-pass-out-or-get-personal-with-the-toilet is just bizarre to me.

Posted by: Shannon at March 10, 2009 9:29 AM

I'm 37. Getting drunk just for the sake of it stopped being fun years ago. That's when I stopped having beer and discovered Single Malt and Port and fabulous wine.

Nowadays instead of buying six cases of beer, I buy one good bottle and enjoy it.

I also like spending time with my family. ;-)

Posted by: LeSombre at March 10, 2009 9:34 AM

I must be totally boring and old too, then... and I'm only just shy of 29!

It can be really frustrating too, because I have lots of friends who still seem to like to drink for the sake of getting drunk, or give me a hard time when I have just one or two drinks while out. But I suppose my revenge is that they all feel like crap the next morning and I don't.

Posted by: stephanie at March 10, 2009 10:12 AM

I'm going to be in the minority on this, because I bristle at the holier-than-thou tone and outright assumption that people who drink to get drunk are all problem drinkers or alcoholics or merely trying to recapture the glory of their youth. While I don't make it a regular practice, and I do not generally set out to get blitzed on a weekend basis, the fact is that sometimes I do drink more than I otherwise would. While those events are few and far between the older (and closer to starting a family of my own) I get, I am not going to apologize for the way that I live my life.

Upon reflection, I think it must a shore thing - there's nothing like calling for a LOAD DAY (tm), sitting back in the hot sand under an umbrella with a cold beverage in your chair's cup holder, and enjoying the moment. If you are responsible about getting loaded on your time, then I see no reason why it should be justified further.

Posted by: Coleen at March 10, 2009 10:14 AM

No you are not are a grown would much rather stay sober and enjoy my weekend than need time on monday to repair all the damage I did. It's just not worth it it take too long to nurse a hangover

Posted by: becky at March 10, 2009 10:38 AM

The hubby and I go out on occasion, but we like being at home and drink at home for the most part. It is safer, cheaper and just smart.

If your co-workers want to get fucked up regularly, I'd say their liver is suffering and they are heading for serious trouble.

At 42, I don't recover like I used too and frankly, I don't have the time or the stupidity to even want to get wasted.

What kind of example would that be to my teenage son? Mom is a drunk. Yep, I want that out there.

Posted by: One Mom's Opinion at March 10, 2009 10:38 AM

I agree with you about "getting trashed" at this point in my life. Now with that said if I were still single or married WITHOUT children I would probably still be out partying I think.

Personally, I do not want my kids to see me black out drunk or even moderately drunk. I think it sends the wrong message and coming from a family lineage where alcoholism goes as far back as the family tree goes I think it is wise to tone it done.

I have not really had anything to drink since getting pregnant the first time. A beer or glass of wine here and there when I was no longer nursing/preggo but aside from that I avoid it due to the above mentioned proclivity toward alcoholism is my family. Mind you, I think if we make alcohol something evil it makes kids even more curious and that is dangerous as well. There is a fine line - show your kids how to be responsible but not zealous about the bad things alcohol can do to one's life.

Plus hang over + toddler/baby = HELL. Who needs it? I get a headache when there is too much whining do I really need a self imposed headache on top of that?!??

Posted by: Christina at March 10, 2009 10:57 AM

It sounds like you have your head on straight and your priorities in order. One of our next door neighbors is 40something, 3 kids and he's a (barely) functioning alcoholic. He starts drinking at 5 or 6 am and goes all day. I don't know how or why his wife puts up with it. It's very sad. We have watched him decline over the years and he has now added maryjane to his circle of friends (Merlot and Bud are other friends). How he maintains his job is beyond me.
I've done my share of partying but couldn't imagine doing it now. I've also seen alcohol ruin too many lives & relationships.
Your other readers are right, if you do it to "forget" or "drown your sorrows", you're only making it worse by not dealing with your issues.

Posted by: laineyDid at March 10, 2009 11:07 AM

I was also not a drinker in college (not in high school either, actually), but found it sometime after. The thing is, I have NEVER gone out drinking to get drunk. When I drink, I drink good beer or good scotch, primarily. The costs, both monetary and physical (not to mention other costs if you do something totally stupid while trashed), are not worth drinking anything less than the good stuff. That plus hating to ever feel sick make me wonder why people get trashed on cheap beer or wine (or whatever)with such frequency. I DON'T get it.

Posted by: heels at March 10, 2009 11:26 AM

I've been there for a long, long time.

And now, when the night carries me away and I have two shots too many and I wake up the next day feeling crummy, I feel like a crummy, stupid ass - who should know better by now.

Posted by: Mindy at March 10, 2009 11:53 AM

I don't think you're a prude or anything like it. I'm your age and although I've had a bunch of drinks, I've never been buzzed, drunk, or hungover. I don't like the taste of alcohol and I really don't think I'd deal well with having a night I don't remember or one in which I acted like a damn fool in public. I like being in the moment and relating to the people around me. It's hard to do that when you're wasted. Plus, I lived with a pair of alcoholics while I was in high school and I didn't need to be fucked up to see how fucked up that was. Everything in my life is better than a beer.

Rock on, Cactus!

Posted by: Brooke Habecker at March 10, 2009 11:54 AM

I laughed. I hear things like this at AA all the time. "All my friends grew up and stopped partying and started having families. I just kept drinking." Dead on, friend.

Posted by: k8 at March 10, 2009 11:58 AM

As a long term fan of beer and beer-related products, I've found myself in the odd position of asking myself the same thing recently. The parents keep wanting to get together for drinks after my daughter's dance class, and I've dodged it. It's not that I don't like drinks, it's not that I don't like parties per se, but there's something weird about the idea of getting ripped and driving home with your kids after a kid's dance class. With your kids. ("You have your kid with you? Great! Then you don't need to worry about getting home, let's do some shots!")

The in-class buzz is all about what the drinks will be and how much people had last week and stuff like that, and it bugs me out a little. Sort of creepy. Not sure how to describe my dread, because "acting your age" sounds kind of prudish; I'm all for grannys in Fila hightops and grandpas on Harleys and whatever. But it does sort of capture the idea. The last class ended with one mom suggesting we just rent the dance space afterwards so the drinking could start quicker. Visions of instant margarita mix and boxes of blush wine and a bunch of suburban moms and dads doing the "music festival dance" to some kind of oldies CD (and never fewer than 3 parents at a time outside sneaking smokes from the one dad that openly partakes of nicotine) seared my inner eye like the image of an aging Ronald Reagan making out with a wrinkled clone of himself.

I get nuts with old friends when the time and place is right, but for strangers to assume that that's what I do whenever and wherever I'm able places me in a box I don't like, so I resist. Kind of like when someone makes a racist statement and winks at you because they know "people like us" get it, and you don't want to be part of "us." I'm fundamentally contrarian about a lot of stuff, no exception here. If people were openly anti-party at the dance class, maybe I'd sneak a hip flask or something.

I guess I'm just not as gangsta as I used to be, and I probably never was.

Posted by: rpm at March 10, 2009 11:59 AM

I don't think you're a prude, but I also lean more towards Coleen's side than everyone else's. I haven't had anything harder than Smirnoff Ice (and even then, only one or two at a concert) since a bad experience with the early stages of alcoholism a couple of years ago, it's just not something I'm interested in doing anymore. I'm only 23 so this tends to get me a lot of weird looks from my partying, binge drinking, pot smoking peers, but I'm fine with that. I had my drinking phase in high school, it's over now and I've moved on to different things.

At the same time, most of my close friends will go out and get pissed once in a while. They don't do it often, but when they do it's responsible and planned out. I don't see that as a bad thing, particularly as they realise that I don't feel comfortable around people who are completely wasted so they keep it to a minimum when I'm around.

Maybe it's a cultural thing. The majority of my closest friends are English so there is a fair bit of drinking going on in general. My non-Mum goes out to the pub just about every night, but it doesn't have the same connotations as a 60-some year old mother going to a bar that often.

Posted by: Tobias at March 10, 2009 12:24 PM

yes, i agree with all of that. and for me, i think it happened even before we had kids. at some point i realized that the money and calories spent getting wasted were just not worth it...

now, along with that, i also get annoyed when my husband's decently-well-off-but-due-to-the-economy-out-of-work-leeching-off-of-unemployment-for-as-long-as-possible-even-as-they-bitch-about-democrat-spending friends (there are two of them) call my husband and want him to go to the horse races or out for a pub crawl and then call him "old man" if he doesn't go.

Posted by: kati at March 10, 2009 12:35 PM

I don't know. I never drank until I was 29 and I'm still nto much of a drinker (and of course none at all now when I REALLY need it at 22 weeks pregnant!) Oy, how the backaches would really love a marguerita.

Ahem. Anyway, I was never really a drink-til-your-drunk person but I had fun hangning with plenty of friends who were. Now I am almost 40 and suddenly my ex-best friend is hanging out with all these 25 year olds. Every weekend they get together and drink all weekend. The kids all play together upstairs and the adults party downstairs.

I try not to be judegmental - if you are having fun and no one is getting hurt I guess that's fine, but frankly, Im not into it and constantly drunk people bore me to tears.

I finally had to walk away from my friend except for the occaisional lunch and I feel bad but I just don't get it I guess.

At least I seem to be in good company here!

Posted by: That Girl at March 10, 2009 12:54 PM

Nope - not old. I know exactly how you feel. I've had more than my share of "wasted" moments all through my life (14 and up) and I HATE the out of control feeling and the associated hangover. I too don't understand the need/goal to "go get wasted". I'm not judging people who do - I just don't understand it. That's not to say that I haven't found myself splitting a tab with several bottles of fine wine - but the goal there was a nice dinner and evening with friends - not to get f'd up. I belong to a group that has a convention in Key West every year - I went once and I won't go again. Many of the people who go turn it into a 5-day Duval St bar crawl and I don't like Key West enough to spend that much money on a bar crawl - and I get crap about that!

Posted by: Sue R at March 10, 2009 12:58 PM

You're just smarter. Who needs a hangover when you'll have kids jumping on your head at the crack of dawn?

Posted by: Jess at March 10, 2009 1:19 PM

Nah, I'm with you: we're at the age now where getting trashed shouldn't be the goal. And I'm certain we're not boring. :) I started a new job a few years ago where everyone there was still in that freshman mentality. I just couldn't relate. I had moved on, grown up, was thinking about starting a family, for Pete's sake! I had no interest in going out and getting hammered. When I went out with them, I was inevitably the designated driver, which was okay with me.

Posted by: Carmen at March 10, 2009 1:38 PM

you are not old. You are exactly how you should be, growing up, evolving. Think how sad those who never evolve are.

Posted by: Jodi at March 10, 2009 1:38 PM

Yeah, it's the drunks who are boring. Take it from a hot woman who has been propositioned by far too many of them. It's the cool guy in the corner with the impish grin, fully aware and cooking up some master plan, who will get my attention. Or I should say *would* since he did and we're married, and still gallivanting about the world.

Posted by: Svendlor at March 10, 2009 1:44 PM

I totally agree, Chris. I'm 27 and for some years now, have wondered when some of my friend's goals for the night would no longer include "getting trashed" or getting annoyed because I don't want to get trashed. We're almost 30 - we've been there, done that and I would have hoped, learned by now how much you can drink to have a good time and relax versus being out of control and sick. At our age, I think it's just embarrassing. You're not a prude, you're an adult.

Posted by: joscelyn at March 10, 2009 1:46 PM

I will echo everyone elses sentiments in saying that it is not you, nor does that make you boring. I think it makes you smart, distinguished and .................................................................................................................................................................................................OLD!!!! But dont worry I'm old too now and us old people are wise and shit. I promised myself when I was 18 standing in the club looking at some people who seemed too old to be there that I would never be 30 years old and "in the club getting trashed". I just had no idea that 30 would come and go so quick!!!

Posted by: Kelly M. at March 10, 2009 2:18 PM

I've never been a drinker. Ever. Not in high school, not in college, and not now. I'm kind of amused by funny drunks, but I feel like as I get older, the drunks become more and more mean and less amusing. So...I just try to avoid all social gatherings where excessive drinking is a possibility. Yes, this lessens my social life a little bit, but I really don't want people like that to be a huge part of my social life!!

I'll just sit in the corner with the other nerds, sipping on my Sprite!!

Posted by: NGS at March 10, 2009 2:19 PM

Even in college, I was not a fan of drinking games, or ways to accelerate the drunkeness. I do enjoy a variety of alcoholic beverages, and am not opposed to the idea of getting drunk (not wasted-drunk, just happy/flirty/giggly-drunk), but getting so drunk that I forget what went on the night before? Nope. Puking from alcohol consumption as a point of pride? Nope. I've only gotten sick from drinking once, and I've never had blackouts. I just don't get the appeal of courting a hangover, even though I do enjoy the sensation of mild-to-moderate inebriation. I don't get drunk often, and I am very conscious of being responsible (not driving, being aware of when I need to be an awake and alert Mom the next morning...) so I have a hard time wrapping my head around anyone my own age still drinking for the sole purpose of getting completely blitzed.

Posted by: Dana Whitaker at March 10, 2009 2:32 PM

No, you're not a prude - most people mature out of that phase, but not all. I think you're normal.

Posted by: Heather at March 10, 2009 2:37 PM

It's not you - I don't understand people in their 30's who's main hobby is getting drunk. Yes, I enjoy a drink every now and then and yes, I occasionally find myself far, far too inebriated. But, dude, don't these people have anything better to do with their lives than drink? Or be hung over?

Posted by: Dawn at March 10, 2009 2:59 PM

Speaking of old and boring, what's your take on the whole Chris Brown/Rhianna thing?

I ask because both of them are up for Kid's Choice Awards on Nickelodeon - and Nick has refused, thus far, to remove at least Brown from the ballot.
As a parent of kids old enough to actually care about the Kid's Choice Awards, this drives me batty.

Posted by: Traci at March 10, 2009 3:29 PM

i learned - at a very early age - because i am emetophobic - how much i can drink without getting ill. it is a wonderful skill to know that i can enjoy 2.5 bottles of beer in one sitting (because i LOVE beer) and enjoy it...but not loose my faculties or my dinner.

Posted by: ali at March 10, 2009 3:41 PM

Yes, I used to drink to get drunk all too often. In high school because I was insecure, in college because I wanted to get laid and I was an alcoholic. I drink now but in total moderation and I can't remember the last time I got drunk. Oh wait, yes I can, our kids were gone for the night and my wife and I went out for sushi and got hammered on Sapporos and sake. That was fun. But so far out of the norm for us.

By the way, you're not old or boring.

Posted by: Erik at March 10, 2009 4:35 PM

I'm only 22 and I don't get it. As far as I'm concerned, I drank enough in college to last a lifetime. I enjoy the occasional beer, or drink out. I also occasionally have too much. But its never the plan and I'm usually not going anywhere.

There are better ways to spend my time. And I don't want my life to pass me by in a drunken stupor

Posted by: Dani at March 10, 2009 5:32 PM

Check it - I will be 25 next month and I have never, ever been drunk. I bet you don't believe that, but it's true. Anyway, there IS a point at which you should stop making "GONNA GET FUCKED UPPPPPP" the focal point of your Saturday night, and I think that that should be between your sophomore and junior year of college.

Posted by: Stephanie at March 10, 2009 5:33 PM

I feel that I should follow-up with the fact that I do drink alcohol, margaritas are excellent and so are green apple martinis, but just one or two, not 14!

Posted by: Stephanie at March 10, 2009 5:37 PM

It is so not just you. I am not that prudish (old, boring, whatever) either. But my life changed and I've changed with it. Some people don't.

Posted by: Issa at March 10, 2009 5:48 PM

As everyone has already just told you (I couldn't resist jumping in on this too) you're not an old fuddy-duddy or anything, I totally understand.

For years now I've watched my still-single friends-- and some of the married ones-- live for "going out" (read= getting plastered and acting like assholes) and I'm pretty much way past finding that fun: most of them are just grasping for a way to drown their issues and make their lives less painful for whatever reason, and as the rest of us have figured out, problems can swim and frequently resurface with progeny. No thanks. After you turn 21, it cease to be funny and just becomes really, really lame.

Posted by: Sassy at March 10, 2009 6:49 PM

As everyone has already just told you (I couldn't resist jumping in on this too) you're not an old fuddy-duddy or anything, I totally understand.

For years now I've watched my still-single friends-- and some of the married ones-- live for "going out" (read= getting plastered and acting like assholes) and I'm pretty much way past finding that fun: most of them are just grasping for a way to drown their issues and make their lives less painful for whatever reason, and as the rest of us have figured out, problems can swim and frequently resurface with progeny. No thanks. After you turn 21, it ceases to be funny and just becomes really, really lame.

Posted by: Sassy at March 10, 2009 6:54 PM

It was either Gandhi or the Dalai Lama who said "Beer is life; life is beer."

Posted by: Gramps at March 10, 2009 8:02 PM

You are not boring. No one is more fun than me and I stopped being part of the "I am going to get fucked up" crowd a long time ago. I am much more mature, these days "going to get fucked up" is when people hear me opening my silverware drawers and asking "where is my wine bottle opener?" I love a girls happy hour but mainly we talk about shoes and how fat the last 15 years have made us.....(Not really but close.)

Posted by: Shannon at March 10, 2009 8:12 PM

Um, I spent plenty of time drunk & while I do remember some good times, I think you just get to a point where you move on. I think it's called maturity when you realize that you can actually have a couple of beers, have fun and not deal with a hang over the next's also called common sense. If that's "unfun" then fine but keep in mind the people who might say that probably can't tell you what was so great about getting drunk last night.

Posted by: Jane in Pa at March 10, 2009 10:29 PM

You are not boring. In fact, you are really hilarious!!! Your blog is entertaining to read and I'm going to follow (what a chance I just randomly stumbled on it!).

And as for being old - you aren't, what you are is responsible! And a dad (and a pretty awesome one, according to your Mia Bean). :)

Posted by: Nadia Roy at March 10, 2009 11:23 PM

I have gone through this same thing. For me it was in my mid to late twenties.

"don't you reach a period in your life after which getting fucked up isn't or shouldn't be your prime motivation for living? And if it is, shouldn't you seek professional help?"

yes. and yes.

Your life seems very interesting and fulfilling, hence you don't feel the need to frequently get sh!tfaced.

Posted by: erin at March 10, 2009 11:49 PM

I think this issue is sort of self-regulating in a sense. I like drinking, I'll admit it. Especially after a long day. Has the actual quantity I drink now decreased since the college days? Absolutely. But I can honestly say that the ONLY reason for this is that my body simply can't take large amounts any more. Too much booze makes me sleepy and causes me to lose my ability to function at work effectively..simple as that. So, for me, its more of a physical limitation than a mental one. I don't think I made a conscious decision to "grow up", rather my body simply made it for me.

Posted by: Matt at March 11, 2009 8:38 PM

I am a roaring 25 years old. We actually refer to a house where three of my friends live as "The Drunk Tank" because -- you guessed it -- everyone's usually drunk. Some people party hardy. Every night of the week is soaked in beer, beer related games and having a good time.

I sit outside of this circle. I stay and have one or two beers, enough to make me feel happy but not so much that I can't walk or drive myself home. I feel like there's a cap on what I can and want to consume. Nobody else I know seems to have this cap.

Occasionally, I will join in on a rousing game of P&A, and let me tell you -- I am absofuckinglutely NO good at it. But I have a good time. And usually when I play, I plan not to drive. And after I play, I usually find myself thinking, "Sweet lord, how did I do this to myself." I think I'm fine and then Drunk smacks me in the face.

My point, I guess, is that we all have our own interests. Don't feel like a prude because you're not into getting wasted. Sure, it happens sometimes, but it's not a goal. Consider it pride. And self respect. And enjoyment but not abuse of alcohol. :o)

Posted by: Emily at March 13, 2009 5:10 PM