April 10, 2009

The Weeklies #81

The Weekly Holiday Photo. Mia's thrilled. Owen? Not so much.


The Weekly Read. I managed to get my hands on an advanced copy of Running From The Devil, a novel by first time author Jamie Freveletti. I'm really glad that I did. I won't ruin it for you but picture this - an fully loaded commercial airliner goes down in the Colombian jungles controlled by drug cartels and guerrillas. Hilarity ensues. Wait, not hilarity - action and adventure. Freveletti is a good writer. Based on the plot, this had the potential to be either really good or really bad and slow. It definitely came out on the good side of the equation. It was compulsively readable, very well-written and, above all and unlike many thrillers, seemed entirely plausible. When it hits shelves in May, pick it up.

The Weekly Music Innovation. Drummer Josh Freese (you might know him - he's played with Sting, A Perfect Circle and Nine Inch Nails) has a pretty innovative pricing scale for online distribution of his new album. $7 gets you the album. $15 gets you the album and a DVD. $50 gets you the CD/DVD package along with a t-shirt and a call from Josh. $250 gets you all the previously mentioned stuff plus a signed drum head and lunch with Josh. $500 gets you the music, the DVD, a signed cymbal plus you get to go with Josh to a sensory deprivation tank (filmed and posted on YouTube) followed by dinner at Sizzler. $10,000 gets you lots of stuff including a day at Disneyland with Josh as well as his Volvo. If you spend $75,000, Josh will take you out on tour with him for a couple days, he'll write and record an EP about you, he'll join your band for a month if you've got one, and if you don't, he'll be your personal assistant for a month. This guy? Seriously brilliant.

The Weekly Respect For A News Outlet Even Though I Kinda Slammed Them. This mention from the Washington Post despite the fact that I had almost nothing nice to say about them:


The Weekly Schadenfreude. There's trouble in Hollywood. First Lindsay and lover Sam broke up then Britney has been seen hooking up with K-Fed. Whoa. Wait a minute. We're supposed to be surprised that these people are all kinds of fucked up?

The Weekly Hypothetical. In the story of your life who writes the book, who plays you in the movie and who scores the music?

Posted by Chris at April 10, 2009 6:29 AM

Ooh, I love this week's hypothetical. Sarah Mlynowski writes the book (she writes chick-lit so I doubt you'd like her, but she is awesome). Jennifer Garner plays me in the movie - we share the same birthday and I love her to pieces. And who else scores the music but Danny Elfman?

Posted by: Stephanie at April 10, 2009 7:00 AM

Diablo Cody writes the book. Really. My life has been that weird!
The music would be scored by Rachel Portman, who scored "The Lake House".
Now who would play me?
Maybe Diane Lane. I think she sort of looks like me.

Posted by: Maribeth at April 10, 2009 7:26 AM

Happy Easter!

I write the book...noone else would believe the shit I've been through.

Cameron Diaz plays me, because she's as elegantly clumsy as I am.

As for music, I'm not that up on composers, so I would leave that to the production team. Something that was upbeat and fun, yet has it's "real" moments.

Posted by: Krush at April 10, 2009 8:43 AM

Book: I don't know, maybe Wil Wheaton.

Actor: How could it be anybody other than Chris O'Donnell?

Music: No original score, it would be a soundtrack of 80's hair metal.

Owen is going to have nightmares about large rabbits for years.

Posted by: COD at April 10, 2009 8:53 AM

Is it just me or do those giant bunnies freak anyone else out?

Posted by: Christina at April 10, 2009 9:05 AM

I write the book because I'm an outstanding writer and also humble.

John Cusack.

Thomas Newman.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at April 10, 2009 9:15 AM

I will write it with Jhumpa Lahiri.

As Hollywood lacks a leading Southeast Asian woman, I'll have to go with Paminder Nagra for the most look-alike. In fantasy world, I'm sure I'd rather look like Grace Park or Stephanie Jacobsen (aka Jesse from Sarah Connor's Chronicle aka Kendra from BSG: Razor).

And of course Randy Newman gets to score the soundtrack.

Posted by: oakley at April 10, 2009 10:41 AM

Oh, BTW - Good job scarring Owen for life. That Easter Bunny is frakkin' CREEPY looking, dude...

Posted by: oakley at April 10, 2009 10:42 AM

That Easter picture is hilarious. Owen, hon, the Easter Bunny totally freaked me out as a kid too, so I understand!
P.S. Did you ever have the chance to read Once a Runner? I know you're an ex-trackie too, so thought maybe you had. It has just been rereleased and I can't wait to pick up a copy.

Posted by: La Petite Chic at April 10, 2009 10:45 AM

Kate Winslet.

A year or so ago, I did a whole post (in pictures) of who would play all the major friends & family roles in the story of my life. It was a hell of an ensemble cast.

Posted by: Kalisa at April 10, 2009 10:49 AM

Written by: Poe would be awesome except that whole being dead thing. So maybe Anne Rice or Stephnie Meyer (I like vampires, can you tell?)

Played by: Reese Witherspoon. love her. she's so adorable!

Music: since it's my movie/life I choose Tori Amos. again, love.

Posted by: Kris at April 10, 2009 10:50 AM

Oh - and duh. John Williams.

Posted by: Kalisa at April 10, 2009 10:52 AM

OMG, Owen looks all kinds of pissed off! LOL! Gotta love those photos.

Okay, weekly hypothetical-
Jane Greene is writing my story. I'd like Meg Ryan to play me (she's quirky) and the soundtrack is performed by the ladies near and dear to my heart-Plumb and Sarah McLachlan.

Posted by: kimmyk at April 10, 2009 11:17 AM

Congrats on the WP mention! That's awesome. I'm sure you're a bit giddy about it.

Dude, I love Josh Freese's marketing! That's brilliant, and certainly spawned by the brilliance of Reznor.

Who writes the book? Probably Cormac McCarthy. He can turn the inner struggle into something worth reading, when the outer self appears hunky dorey.

I guess the actor would have to be someone like Matt Damon.

I'd go with Altar Bridge for the score. Emotional, sometimes dark, but with optimism.

How about you?

Posted by: Brad at April 10, 2009 11:17 AM

Totally thought you were gonna go with Billy Bob on Q from the weekly Schadenfreude. Totally my pick.

Very cool about the Post thingy.

The Book: Ideally I'd write it but it would bore people to tears. ;) I would have it written by Carol Shields but she's dead (therefore making it difficult for her to write.) Second choice is a tie between Michael Ondaatje for making it terribly sensual and far artsier than it really is and Elizabeth Hay for making the characters in it incredibly interesting.

Musical Score -- Pearl Jam with hints Leonard Cohen.

Actor: Good one, I have no clue. But I'd love to be Susan Sarandon when I grow up.

Posted by: Nat at April 10, 2009 11:30 AM

Sorry for the double post. I'm with Owen, that rabbit could be in a horror film -- totally scary.

Posted by: Nat at April 10, 2009 11:34 AM

Harper Lee writes it. Maybe Julia Stiles, only because people say there is a resemblance (one I don't see). Musically, maybe Eddie Vedder or Roger Clyne.

Posted by: Sarah at April 10, 2009 11:58 AM

1. Hi-LAR-ious picture of Owen.

2. Does hilarity really ensue? 'Cause I don't really have any interest in reading a book about crash survivors marooned among a bunch of drug lords, but something with a cheery spin on it might brighten my otherwise blighted (at the moment) life.

3. I wish I had $75,000 to blow and I have never even heard of Josh Freese.

4. In the story of my life, *I* write the book, no idea who'd play me, and my ex-boyfriend would score it. Or maybe John Waite, so I could "consult" with him about the "film".

Posted by: Brooke Habecker at April 10, 2009 12:00 PM

LOVE the picture...Mia is all smiles and calm and there is Owen about as red faced as can get and trying to leap off his lap.

Interesting hypothetical...I think Jodi Picoult should write it she's got such an interesting way to write, the soundtrack would be a mix of classic rock and modern rock and Melissa McCarthy (she is in the show Samantha Who?) would play me.

Posted by: Deirdre at April 10, 2009 12:10 PM

I take it Mia's aware that there are treats involved? And, oh, poor sweet Owen.

A.S. Byatt can write the book.
Jodi Foster will play me.
I'd like Bach to do the score if he's available, but it's starting to look like the soundtrack will consist mainly of selections from the Suzuki Violin recordings.
The book will be good, but the movie's probably going to be pretty lame.

Posted by: nrbp at April 10, 2009 1:12 PM

Elizabeth Berg would write it because I always relate to characters and situations in her books.

To play me would be Reese Witherspoon because I have a major girl crush on her and she's stubborn and fiesty like me.

Musical score would have to be a mix of music - think Grey's Anatomy type music.

Posted by: NancyJak at April 10, 2009 2:09 PM

I think I'm with Owen on the bunny...it's kinda creepy :P

Posted by: Heather at April 10, 2009 5:51 PM

Wow that's a scary Easter Bunny. We saw him today while shopping - my 5yo boy smiled, shook his hand and wished him Happy Easter, while my 3yo daughter hid, shaking, behind my legs. She was just trying to get there before I did - that bunny was seriously freaking me out.

Book by Nick Hornby - lol funny, poignant, and everyone learns a little something about life.

I'm played by Scarlett Johansson (do you reckon she could pull off an Australian accent?) and my husband's played by George Clooney.

Scored by Ani DiFranco and Ben Folds.

And Kevin Smith would direct, so there'd be a severe language warning, and Ben Affleck and Matt Damon in supporting roles.

Posted by: Jo MacD at April 11, 2009 12:28 AM

I would totally write the book...in fact I already have. It's about 72.6% completed.

Hands down I'd choose Isla Fisher to star in my story. We look nothing alike but I have always wanted to be a redhead and she's adorbale. Utterly adorable.

As for the music, I am going to go with Katy Perry - but only because I have been listening to her album non-stop and am mildly obsessed. Just mildly. If not Katy, then definitely Jennifer Nettles.

Posted by: Country Girl at April 11, 2009 9:44 AM

Douglas Adams writes the book. Brad Pitt plays me, of course. I'll go with Bach or Mozart for the score.

Posted by: Gramps at April 11, 2009 1:50 PM

Wait, wait, wait! Can I go with Sting for the score?

Posted by: Gramps at April 11, 2009 1:51 PM

I'd write the book. Because the only really interesting thing to happen to me would be the whole writting a book thing. It'd be kind of like "The Player" I guess, except in book form.

I'd get Adam Levine to star in the lead romantic role. Then, after a world-wide search coming up blank, I'd have to star as myself. It would be a sacrifice, but I'd have to do it to stay true to the book.

I'd get Bryan Ferry to do the score, since he's done it before and that way I could force him to meet me. Anything that happened from that meeting (well, and/or the whole "romantic lead" thing for that matter) would just add to the plot. I'd call it "The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy"

You can see my comments on that creepy fucking rabbit on Beth's post on the subject. I'm with Owen.

Posted by: harmzie at April 11, 2009 7:24 PM

While your kids do look beautiful in the photo, I'm kinda with Owen. I'd be scared of a bunny with blue eyeshadow too.

Posted by: jessica at April 11, 2009 8:22 PM

Owen's got the right idea. Seriously, that looks like a creepy nightmare spectre rather than something I'd want to crawl on top of.

Posted by: Mandy at April 13, 2009 1:46 AM

OMG I burst out laughing when I saw that. I'm sorry for laughing about seeing how miserable your son is in the picture! He looks SO upset!

Posted by: La Petite Belle at April 14, 2009 9:17 AM

Drew Barrymore would play me. The book would be written by J.R.R. Tolkien because he's the only one who can write about Hobbits(I was raised to believe I am part hobbit) without copyright infringement. (Too bad he's dead :( Guess no one will ever hear my story)
The score would be composed by none other than Danny Elfman.

Posted by: MissFae at April 14, 2009 3:18 PM