May 15, 2009

The Weeklies #85

The Weekly Word. Slimpsy meaning frail or flimsy. We stumbled across it in an Oz book last night and both Beth and I were at a loss.

The Weekly Time Waster. Card Toss - a seriously simple yet addictive game. Don't say I didn't warn you.

The Weekly Proud Moment. I parented solo for a while last night. Yeah, nothing to write home about, sure but it involved getting both kids fed, bathed and in bed all by my lonesome. By the time Beth got home, the kids were full, clean and asleep and the house was clean. I'm just a little bit proud of myself for that.

The Weekly Read. This week I polished off Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk. It's pretty much a book about a gangbang that only Palahniuk could pull off. My only complaint is that I'd expected it to be less simplistic than it actually was. Given the possibly extensive cast of characters, Chuck chose to involve only three, alternating protagonists chapter by chapter. Despite the subject matter, it was perhaps Chuck's most accessible novel. To me, it was good but not great.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. There's something rotten in Pennsylvania. Not just the fact that the Penguins trounced the Caps on Wednesday night. Though that did stink. No, I'm talking about Jon and Kate again (here's some background if you need it). Because I read something that peaked my interest. See, the new season starts on May 25th. And it's a 40 episode season. That's nearly twice the length of the average season run. In order to sustain that kind of demand, you need people to watch. And if you want people to watch, you probably need...wait for it...controversy. Are we being manipulated?

The Weekly Hypothetical. If you were a cheese, which cheese would you be and why?

Posted by Chris at May 15, 2009 6:03 AM
Comments

You're just getting up, aren't you? I'm just going to bed. There; TWO reasons to feel like a great parent.

Chuck is doing a book signing in my little town on the 21st. WHo's got two thumbs and will be there with bells on?

This guy.

Posted by: Mr Lady at May 15, 2009 6:19 AM

You're just getting up, aren't you? I'm just going to bed. There; TWO reasons to feel like a great parent.

Chuck is doing a book signing in my little town on the 21st. Who's got two thumbs and will be there with bells on?

This guy.

Posted by: Mr Lady at May 15, 2009 6:19 AM

Congrats on parenting solo! I did the same last night, except I also rebuilt a window casing at the same time. My kids a re 10 and 8, but still. As a bonus, both of them still have all their fingers. ;-)

I hate Jon and Kate. Mostly Kate.

If I was a cheese, I'd be Raclette. Decent as is, but much better when you warm it up!

Posted by: LeSombre at May 15, 2009 6:30 AM

It's an odd hypothetical and even odder still that I actually have an answer. Actually odder even still that I have 2 answers. I'd either be paprika-garlic goat cheese from Celebrity Dairy in Siler City or pimento cheese from Something Classic in Charlotte. I could eat either by the pound and occasionally do. In fact, I may already be 2% Celebrity Dairy goat cheese due to the mass quantities I consume.

Posted by: Country Girl at May 15, 2009 7:08 AM

In return for the evilness of your timewaster, I offer you Pushori: http://www.deadwhale.com/play.php?game=827

Posted by: SciFi Dad at May 15, 2009 7:16 AM

Ya, the Jon and Kate thing is pretty contrived I bet. I bet they "make up" or it comes out close to the end of the season that it was a little misunderstanding. Why do you think Tom Cruise jumped on the couch before Mission Impossible 4 or 3 or 16?

Posted by: Knot at May 15, 2009 7:28 AM

Dude -- you fed the kids, put them to bed, cleaned the house AND you can pee standing up? Beth must be so impressed.

I can't answer the cheese question. It would have been a much better straight line if you changed it to fruit.

Posted by: Marshall Karp at May 15, 2009 7:48 AM

See, the first thing I thought was that I would be Swiss cheese, 'cause it's full of holes. Clearly, I have issues.

Here's my take on Jon and Kate (and yes, I've thought about this because they live not too far from here and the local media is shoving it down our throats): he probably did cheat. Or if he didn't actually cheat, that whole "controversy" was at least real. But all this extra shit is probably contrived for the sake of getting people to watch the show, which is just gross.

Posted by: Fraulein N at May 15, 2009 9:04 AM

Sorry, it was awesome that the Pens won :D

I hate the Gosselins. I am Team Duggar, all the way.

I would be gouda! I would spend all my time nibbling on my arms though. I'd be pretty tasty.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at May 15, 2009 9:22 AM

I'd be a cheddar... because I'm extra sharp!

(hee hee hee! I am such a dork.)

Posted by: stephanie at May 15, 2009 9:25 AM

Jon and Kate, yes we are being manipulated.

Cheese - Hmm I'd either be a 5yr aged gouda. Nutty, subtle, but strong, pairs well with a variety of red and some strong white wines. OR perhaps a Red Dragon - semi soft cheese with mustard seed throughout... slightly spicy, amazing with baguette and prosciutto, but equally at home on top of a cheeseburger, great with red wine or beer...OR brie en croute with apricots for sweet, or basil and sund dried tomato with pine nuts for savory. Mostly good with a nice white wine, can be dressed up with a sparkling white wine.

I like cheese...and wine... alot.

Posted by: Varinia at May 15, 2009 9:44 AM

ive def heard of the john & kate show but I have never seen it. im probably one of a very small bunch who have never seen it. and dont be mad but i was kind of glad to see the Pens crush the Caps. ovechkin bugs me. bu if i were to be a cheese I would have to be the undisputed king of cheeses....parmigiano reggiano. mmmmmmmm.

Posted by: madmom at May 15, 2009 10:31 AM

Manchego.....this cheese seems to taste different to different people, and has a huge difference in texture and flavor at different temperatures. Kind of like me. I am pretty good at making the best of a situation and trying to be what certain groups of people need me to be.

Posted by: Jen at May 15, 2009 11:32 AM

Gorgonzola - Not for everybody, could be salty, definitely has a bite, easily melt, pairs well with bacon.

Posted by: oakley at May 15, 2009 11:34 AM

I'd be brie or camembert. Because underneath the crusty & sour & bitchy exterior, I'm actually all soft and mild (good thing I can hide the facial expression whilst typing).

And I don't even touch your weekly time wasters anymore.

Posted by: harmzie at May 15, 2009 12:08 PM

Okay. Loved Mr. K's comment. Too funny.

A) I have never seen the Jon n Kate display. not my cuppa

B) I was totally thinking I was swiss because I am so transparent.

However, after reading all these answers, I realize I do not know very much about cheese at all. Not at all.

Posted by: debb at May 15, 2009 12:38 PM

I'd be Stilton...because it's smelly.

Posted by: Rebecca at May 15, 2009 12:38 PM

I don't blame Jon if he did. I can't bear to even see the commercials for the show. Between them and Little People, Big World I have to avoid the channel altogether.

Cheese- probably cheddar. Nice and basic, nothing suprising, goes well with apples.

Posted by: Lisa at May 15, 2009 12:39 PM

Speaking of gangbangs, I predict "Jon and Kate Plus 8" will not involve any of the kids this season, but 8 strangers who become involved in a massive series-long orgy with Jon & Kate.

Posted by: Phil at May 15, 2009 1:30 PM

That does feel good, and earns good bonus point with the wife. Nice.

I'd be a pepper colby jack cheese. Delicious.

Posted by: Brad at May 15, 2009 2:33 PM

I would be a french cheese. any.

Posted by: La Petite Belle at May 15, 2009 3:40 PM

I'd be our local cheesemaker's Mt. Townsend Creamery "Seastack" chaorce. It's like crack. You couldn't quit me.

Posted by: bhd at May 15, 2009 4:48 PM

Great list...as always.

(would have posted earlier, but I've been playing that damn card toss thing all day)

Posted by: David at May 15, 2009 6:41 PM

You might be on to something with Jon and Kate. A huge media ploy. If that is in fact what it is, their marketing people are brilliant.

Posted by: Dianna at May 15, 2009 6:58 PM

The cheese comments rock!

I will gladly take the Jon and Kate crap over the 90 pound 20 year old desperate female dating "reality" crap that has permeated the airwaves the last few years. It's a different kind of stink perhaps. Different stink = happy? If so, ewe ewe ewe.

I would be jalapeno pimento cheese spread. 'Cause I'm spicy, good with crackers, irresistible to some and repulsive to others. Plus while I'm on vacation, I spread myself out on a beach towel real good.

Posted by: Jenn Benn at May 15, 2009 7:56 PM

I'm so proud of you and the solo parenting thing. I never had a doubt you could do it!

What cheese would I be? Geeze, what a question. Tilsit. It's my favorite. It's full bodied, aged to perfection and always leaves you wanting more!

Posted by: Maribeth at May 15, 2009 9:06 PM

I just started following your blog and it's great. As far as cheese goes, I would be Stinky Cheese. Books named after me. Songs. Poems. Everybody loves Stinky Cheese!

Posted by: Debra at May 15, 2009 9:40 PM

I just started following your blog and it's great. As far as cheese goes, I would be Stinky Cheese. Books named after me. Songs. Poems. Everybody loves Stinky Cheese!

Posted by: Debra at May 15, 2009 9:40 PM

I just started following your blog and it's great. As far as cheese goes, I would be Stinky Cheese. Books named after me. Songs. Poems. Everybody loves Stinky Cheese!

Posted by: Debra at May 15, 2009 9:40 PM

50,431 on the Card Toss on the 2nd try. Great time waster. I'm still hooked on Effing Hail!

And I'd be Vermont Sharp Cheddar. It's just the right one!

Posted by: coolchick at May 15, 2009 10:18 PM

Fondue, because it and I are yummy. Beer fondue, please. (And just to be clear, I don't mind if I'm Swiss or Cheddar... I'll take both if you have them.)

Posted by: Poppy at May 16, 2009 2:42 PM

halloumi, like silly mozzarella because it's salty and sweet only you can TOTALLY grill halloumi by itself... and just like me, when you chomp down on this delicious cheese it squeaks against your teeth. it makes me giggle every time.

hands down, i agree about jon and kate. i just had the unfortunate misfortune of witnessing a commercial on TLC advertising a JON AND KATE MARATHON reliving all their family milestones. this years milestone? jon speaks up for himself and stabs kate in the eye.

Posted by: SUPAHMAMA! at May 16, 2009 11:15 PM

good job dad! you should be REALLY proud of yourself for getting the kids fed, bathed and bedded and clean house to boot! wow.

as for cheese, i would definately be an extra old chedder. i've got bite!

Posted by: raino at May 17, 2009 8:46 PM


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