June 19, 2009

The Weeklies #90

The Weekly Way You Can Let The Internet Make All Your Decisions For You. Hunch.com is a pretty cool little site. Tell it a little about yourself - your likes, dislikes and habits - and it'll help you answer some questions you might be on the fence about. For instance, the other day it told me that I should definitely not get a tattoo and that, I was probably in the mood for pale ale. Which is why...

The Weekly Beer. Widmer's Drifter. This stuff is good. And odd. But good. It pretty much tastes like you've squeezed a grapefruit into your beer. That, surprisingly, doesn't suck. In fact, it kinda kicks ass.

The Weekly Worst Product Ever. Can't (or won't) wipe your own ass anymore? Never fear, Comfort Wipe is here!

The Weekly Time-Waster. Redstar Fall.

The Weekly Gadget. The new iPhone. Yeah, I'm green with envy.

The Weekly Read. Though we're only halfway through the year, I suspect that Greg Ames' Buffalo Lockjaw will easily make my list of top ten books of 2009. It is wonderfully fresh, simultaneously hilarious and terrifying. And to be hilarious while writing about Alzheimer's and assisted-suicide is something of a feat.

The Weekly Music. You've probably never heard of Elizabeth & The Catapult. But you should. Taller Children, the band's debut, is a confused mess of styles and influences, wrapped up in a beautiful package and somehow made to work. Elizabeth's voice is spectacular. Think Amiee Mann without the mumbling and with greater range and clarity. The musicianship is wonderful. This is clearly a band of insanely talented musicians. And those musicians weave a variety of influences - straight-forward rock, folk, jazz - into a really impressive stew of poppy goodness that is clever, catchy and meaningful. I honestly can't recommend this enough.

The Weekly Dose of Political Chaos. Iran. We're witnessing something incredible here, a people often repressed by its leaders rising up to challenge authority. Not something that happens in that part of the world all that often. But we're also witnessing the battle between technology - namely social media and the internet - and political rule and suppression. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. Eighteen year old Kimberley Vlaeminck asked for three stars to be tattooed on her face. Then fell asleep during the procedure. Now, I don't have any tats but I hear they're a tiny bit painful. One wonders how she fell asleep. That's not the punchline though. No, when she woke up, she had 56 stars tattooed on her face. Apparently there was a little misunderstanding.

The Weekly Hypothetical. The world is going to end in five years. You have the opportunity to travel to a colony on the moon and spend the rest of your life there. Or, you can spend the next five years on the earth. Your immediate family goes or stays with you. What do you do?

Posted by Chris at June 19, 2009 6:43 AM

I'm weighing in on this tattoo business. I have 2 small ones. One is actually a star on my hip. Both of mine took about 5 minutes, and yes, it does hurt. It really just felt like getting a shot that went on for a while. Now, her 3 little stars would have taken about 5 minutes. How the fuck did she fall asleep? I'm calling MAJOR bullshit on this one!

Posted by: Stephanie at June 19, 2009 7:25 AM

I already took my immediate family and moved to a 'colony on the moon' when I moved to Europe...it's exciting for awhile, but then reality sets in and you have to adjust. Nope, I'll stay here, where I already know my role, and can also enjoy my extended family instead of all those strangers you just aren't quite sure about...and they're not too sure about you either.
Plus, the langauge issue...nah, I'll stay put. Enough adventure has already been handed my way.

Posted by: Tera at June 19, 2009 7:32 AM

I would stay. If they chose to go, I would kiss them all, say good-bye and see ya in the next life. I'm just not good at change and I love my mountains and lakes.

Posted by: Maribeth at June 19, 2009 7:36 AM

Weekly Decisions: Please don't get a tattoo. I'm gagging thinking of someone filling needles up with ink and poking them repeatedly into a body.

Weekly Gadget: I can't believe you have held out this long. I think you would love it.

Weekly Schadenfreude: How did I miss this one? You have to be a special kind of tired or pain addict to sleep through that.

Posted by: MariaV at June 19, 2009 7:45 AM

"Think Amiee Mann without the mumbling and with greater range and clarity."

Hey now, watch it with the Aimee Mann dis! ;)
I'll have to check this out! Though I like Aimee's woeful voice. Your comment reminds me of when I played Tom Waits for my college boyfriend and he said, "Does he not know how to clear his throat?".
Needless to say, our relationship was short.

Posted by: tulip at June 19, 2009 8:04 AM

Okay, I'm going to make a couple of assumptions: The moon colony has other people there, right? And other kids? I mean, it's a colony, not a bubble just for me and my immediate family.

So, NO contest! I would go to the moon. Rather than my kids not live past 8 and 6, I would take them to the moon and allow them to save the species in the New World (which is why we need other kids around, er, other people their age who will hopefully survive puberty...)

Now, if the species was done for no matter what, we'd probably stick around here.

This is morbid. It is making me think about things I NEVER like to think about, let alone think about on Friday morning.

Posted by: Sabrina at June 19, 2009 8:34 AM

To the moon Cactus! Pack it up kiddos, time go on an expedition. One requirement, we must have technology, to document and communicate when we figure out how to survive. :-)

Posted by: steff at June 19, 2009 9:16 AM

Redstar Fall, just what I needed. Have you played Gemcraft?

Posted by: Candy at June 19, 2009 9:20 AM

I am completely on the side of the tattoo artist and I think she's a complete liar. Both the tattoos I got, they put a temporary image placement with transfer paper on where the tattoo would be so I could say, no move it a little to the right or whatever I agreed to it before he even started, also neither one of my tattoos particularly hurt, it felt uncomfortable but there is no way I could have fallen asleep, and especially if he was tattooing my face with the bones and such. I completely believe his story that she wanted it, went home and her family flipped out so changed her story.

Posted by: Dee at June 19, 2009 9:40 AM

I also have iPhone envy. I may actually have to cave and get one. I keep hoping they'll open it up so you don't have to have AT&T.

I wondered about that girl falling asleep while getting tattooed myself. I mean, I'm pretty sure that hurts.

I guess I'd go live on the moon. Although I think I'd really miss the outdoors and I'm curous about how the moon is going to continue to exist after the Earth is gone.

Posted by: bad penguin at June 19, 2009 10:08 AM

Stay. I'm not enamored with life enough to grow old in a bubble with zero chance to hear a bird chirp.

I spent 3 minutes at Hunch.com and created an account because of how much it doesn't suck.

Somebody sent me the YouTube ad for that Comfort Wipe contraption and I couldn't make it through the entire thing. I turned it off after some ditzy chick called toilet paper 'archaic'.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at June 19, 2009 10:37 AM

Sweet Jebus. I've been sucked into Hunch for the last thirty minutes! Thanks Chris. I didn't need that time to shower or anything. ;)

Btw, did you know that only 29% of the current users on Hunch are female? Apparently we have no problems making up our minds. Lol.

Posted by: Tink at June 19, 2009 11:01 AM

I would go to the moon, it would be awesome to start fresh their and rebuild. I would just hope there would be a way to communicate with earth and we would get to take some of our technology. But even if it was back to basics I'd still like that.

Posted by: Adi at June 19, 2009 11:27 AM

On the tats, I have 2 what I consider small tats, each took about 2 hours to do and there is no way in hell I could have fallen asleep during them! The whole thing hurts some, but when they are filling in the color, going over the same spot over and over (and over) again, that actually Hurts.

I'd go to the moon without a second thought! Of course, ever since first reading Heinlein, I've wanted to go to the moon...too bad 'Mike' wouldn't be running it.

I've been meaning to ask, I know that you enjoy John Sandford, who is one of my faves too. Have you read James Rollins? Sandstorm was the first of his I read, and I can't decide which is my favorite, but I think that you would enjoy him. I just picked up the Last Oracle but haven't had a chance to start it yet.

Posted by: sherri at June 19, 2009 12:17 PM

I'd go to the moon. Although I'm afraid of terrestrial air travel, I couldn't condemn my kids to death just because I'm afraid.

Hunch: Great, thanks for the link. I kind of compulsively talk about myself and this is a terrible distraction from work. ;-)

Posted by: Brooke Habecker at June 19, 2009 12:23 PM

Like others, I call bullshit on Kimberley Vlaeminck. I believe the tattoo artist who said that was what she wanted and she was really happy with it UNTIL her dad saw it and freaked out.

I'm staying here on earth. 5 years of living in a completely controlled environment, devoid of nature? No thanks. I'd rather die.

Posted by: Mindy at June 19, 2009 12:34 PM

Not sure I can go iPhone. I love my thumbs.

Posted by: DCUrbanDad at June 19, 2009 12:38 PM

I'd go to the moon. It'd be something different, and I think my kids would represent the new society well. Plus, I don't want them to die in 5 years.

Now, if the world wasn't going to explode... but I had to either die in 5 years or go to the moon, I'd choose death.

Posted by: Brad at June 19, 2009 2:32 PM

One college summer in France I discovered lemonade in beer was pretty good (panache I think they called it), so a grapefruit beer would probably be pretty good.

Posted by: Heather at June 19, 2009 4:00 PM

There is no way you could fall asleep while getting fifty six tattoos on your face. It's a fresh sting every time the artist moves to a new area. I have some pretty large tattoos and while at times I was able to relax I was basically in pain the entire time. My theories are as follows (1) she was on something or drunk and blacked out (2) she wanted them but lied to gloss it over to her parents and it spiraled out of control (as lies do). I saw this on tv and freaked out.
Get an iPhone they are magical. I would stay. Being sealed off is as good as dead. I would rather stay and really experience the earth in it's final days.

Posted by: Andrea at June 19, 2009 4:02 PM

totally dig Elizabeth and the Catapult...some how downloaded Taller Children (think I got it as a freebee) and LOVE IT! And I'll stay here on earth - spend every last dime and move the family to the Caribbean. A small shack with running water would suffice. And do what the locals do until the world ends. And maybe learn to snorkel!

Posted by: cyndy at June 19, 2009 9:53 PM

Okay, I don't understand that tattoo girl. Either A, she was DRUNK or HIGH, and that's what caused her to pass out and also ask for 56 stars on her face, or B, she asked for them and now she feels stupid now. Tattoos hurt. Even if you have a high pain tolerance, they hurt. Especially (I'd imagine) ON YOUR FACE.

Usually when you get tattoos, they're careful to make sure they don't fuck it. Drawings, stencils, drawings ON YOU, they ask pretty much every step of the way.

Posted by: cass at June 21, 2009 12:08 PM

That's well known that money makes people disembarrass. But what to do if one has no money? The only one way is to get the home loans or just small business loan.

Posted by: Payne18Ladonna at October 14, 2010 1:12 PM