August 14, 2009

The Weeklies #97

The Weekly Unbelievable Fact. I've done this 97 times.

The Weekly Time Waster. Red Remover.

The Weekly Spiritual Rebirth. Apparently Omarosa - you probably remember her as the evil reality TV show villain from Trump's Apprentice - is entering a convent. Seriously. No joke. Or at least, not yet.

The Weekly Book. I desperately wanted Michael Craven's Body Copy to be good. I really did. But as I flew thought it - because it was a pretty simplistic read with a straightforward plot - I couldn't help but think that Craven was trying to draw too heavily on the spirit of John MacDonald and Don Wilson's Dawn Patrol. And Dawn Patrol was such an exquisite book, Body Copy couldn't help but fail in comparison. On Amazon and just about everywhere else, Body Copy has gotten excellent reviews. I can't help but think that I'm missing something. But I'm afraid I'm not.

The Weekly Photo. Wine? A pain reliever? Oh yes, grocery store, you do speak the truth.


The Weekly Departure From This Earthly Plane. Les Paul - inventor, musician, guitar god. If you're listening to music now, chances are he somehow made whatever you're listening to possible.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. It's not (sadly) my creation, but you might get a good schadenfreudy laugh out of poorly placed internet ads.

The Weekly Hypothetical. What author writes the book of your life?

Posted by Chris at August 14, 2009 7:25 AM

Oh geeze. That's a tough one. Perhaps Pat Conroy. He has a way of slowly telling a story. He's great with written visualizations. So yeah, I guess he would do.

Posted by: Maribeth at August 14, 2009 7:56 AM

Weekly Schadenfreude: Trina Thompson who is suing Monroe College because she has been unable to find a job since she graduated in April.

Weekly Hypothetical: My serious answer is either Sandra Dallas or James McBride. My tongue in cheek answer is Linda Howard because if someone is going to read about my life they will want some suspense and the book me should have great sex.

Have a great weekend.

Posted by: MariaV at August 14, 2009 8:26 AM

Are you kidding? If anyone wrote the book of my life it would be so unbelievable boring no one would buy it and any publisher worth his/her salt would know that, so no one would buy it from the author. Oh wait, maybe Thomas Hardy would do then ;)

Posted by: Elizabeth at August 14, 2009 8:36 AM

Some of those ads are somewhat horrifying! Except #16 which is full of awesome (WoW w/ "Are you a male virgin?) Funny stuff though for sure...just some in a more macabre way than others.
I don't know who'd write the book of my life...someone with an aptitude for the utterly mundane ;)

Posted by: Heather at August 14, 2009 9:51 AM

The Title of my biography has already been Charles Barkley with his infamous "I May Be Wrong, But I Doubt It" Heeheehee, just kidding (well, sort of)
As for the author, I'll have tol ponder that a little longer, perhaps over some pain-relieving wine ;)

Posted by: LaineyDid at August 14, 2009 9:54 AM

You know, I just noticed that you never answered your own question...fess up dude.

Posted by: Elizabeth at August 14, 2009 9:55 AM

The worst "misplaced" Internet ad that I saw was for a new whole wheat bread on a newsletter for Celiac patients. (If you don't know Celiac patients can't eat gluten...which is found in wheat).

As for who would write the story of my life...I have already started, but I think either Christopher Moore or Jimmy Buffett would make the real seem just unbelievalbe enough that many would believe it was fiction!!

Posted by: Krush at August 14, 2009 10:19 AM

I think you asked this question because I'm pretty sure I answered "Me!" In the event that self is disqualified, I'm going with Janet Evanovich. Hopefully she can make me look as sexy and hysterically funny all at once as she does with Stephanie Plum.

Posted by: Brooke Habecker at August 14, 2009 11:33 AM

Seriously? That red remover game could kill any and all of my productivity for the rest of the day. Thanks!

Posted by: NGS at August 14, 2009 11:47 AM

Asimov, threading me into a lifetime of stories that start with my early childhood experiences with sci fi, and culminating with my conciousness becoming the defacto personality of the endless expanse of computers in hyperspace that ultimately reboots the universe with the next big bang.

Hey, if you're gonna dream, go big.

Posted by: metawizard at August 14, 2009 12:25 PM

I had to answer this hypothetical because I instantly had an answer.Mary Roach. I know she typically writes about scientific research, but her voice has hooked me in each of her books. And her attention to detail, her dedication to the subject ... just inspiring. Plus, the way she writes reminds me of me.

Posted by: Kate at August 14, 2009 1:47 PM

Those ads are priceless.

Posted by: Heather at August 14, 2009 3:51 PM

Linda Jaivin - Rock'n'Roll Babes From Outer Space.

No really. Set in Sydney in the grunge-loving 90's in the suburbs near Sydney Uni. Sure, my memories of the time don't include shape-shifting alien chicks, but maybe I just wasn't paying attention.

Posted by: Jo MacD at August 14, 2009 8:47 PM

Who writes the story of your life? Aaron Sorkin

Posted by: Tess at August 15, 2009 5:27 AM

The author who is currently writing the story of my life is Neil Gaiman, which, considering he writes fantasy, is kind of scary. Life and art matched up most closely when I wound up reading most of Neverwhere whilst waiting in an ER room to be examined. The people waiting with me looked and acted like they'd walked right off the page -- okay, at least some of that was the pain talking.

Posted by: Kat at August 16, 2009 7:57 AM