September 14, 2009
Buffalo, Big Ass Cows, and Chickens...Oh My!
This weekend was a busy one. Why? Let's see...
On Friday evening I solo parented. Beth went to a baby shower and the kids and I bonded over a princess movie (what Mia calls Aurora but Disney calls Sleeping Beauty) and pizza. And beer for me. Though Owen has a fascination with my beer. He actually utters the word beer at such an alarming frequency that I'm slightly worried someone is going to call children's services. By 9:00, both kids were in bed. By 9:05 Beth was home. By 9:20 I was seriously considering passing out. I didn't. I waited until 10:00 to do that. I feel so fucking old sometimes.
On Saturday we hit the zoo. Not the big-ass zoo in DC but a relatively small local one that's nevertheless pretty darn cool. We've taken Mia a couple of times, the last time last year. She calls it the loud zoo because of the noise made by the rather greedy goats and sheep that demand to be fed. But we figured a) Mia would be over that by now and b) Owen would love it. We were mostly right. Mia loved the animals in all their noisy, slobbery glory and Owen did too. Though he preferred them from a slight distance. He was enthusiastic, hauling ass towards a sheep, bubbling over with laughter and enthusiasm but the second he'd hear a baaahh, he'd yell no! and run in the opposite direction. But we ended up seeing all kinds of awesome animals, like African antelopes and cows with gigantic horns, good old American buffalo and a some ostriches of indeterminate origin.
After the zoo had managed to exhaust everyone - including the grownups - Beth and I got dressed up, handed off don't set the house on fire or impale each other with the broom duties to my parents and went on an actual date. Miracle of miracles. We went to a Lebanese food place and ate lots of yummy things primarily made from chickpeas. We stopped and got a cup of coffee then headed home to rescue my parents. Everyone was still sane when we got there.
Sunday was gorgeous which was apparently some sort of divine sign that I was supposed to do yard work. Which I did. I mowed the grass, cleaned up the yard and took down a gigantic tree. So that was fun.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say in a roundabout, long-winded way is that it's Monday and here I am, sitting at a desk trying to suck down enough coffee to keep me awake for a reasonable amount of time. This week is going to be a tough one. I can't say I'm thrilled.
To recap, here are the numbers:
Yards mowed: 1
Trees cut down: 1
Cuts and bruises resulting from tree: 543
Times Owen said no: 305,244
Dates with wife had: 1
Pictures taken: 300
Pictures edited and posted: 0
Books read: 0.25
Crayons Owen ate: 2
Tubes of Chapstick Owen ate: 1
Songs from Sound Of Music Mia serenaded us with: all
Times both kids played in our cars: 7
Times I thought damn, my wife is hot: 5,700
And what did you do?
Posted by Chris at September 14, 2009 6:41 AM
Laundry Done: 5 loads
Time Puppy Room Was Cleaned: 6
Cuts From Chopping Vegetables for home made tomato sauce: 2
Meals Made: 8
Times I stopped to play with puppies: 300,004
Times went shopping: 3
Pictures taken: 300+
Pictures edited and posted: 12
Books read: 0.25
Tennis Matches Watched: 5
Times I questioned Serena Williams sanity: too many to count.
Time I said Roger Federer is a genius: 100
Banks Robbed in my area: 1
22 kids, 31 degrees celsius, 1 soccer field, 1 fairy, 2 helping teenagers, 4 plates of sandwiches, 4 bags of microwave popcorn, 24 party pies, 6 punnets of strawberries, 1 whole watermelon, 2 birthday cakes, one box filled with presents, two happy/tired birthday kids, and one mum who doesn't have to do this again for a whole year. Woo-hoo.
Local airshow, watching C-130's and giant fuel tanker planes buzz the town; joint birthday party for a 1 and 2 year old ( in which everyone had the grace to come, socialize, and leave without a single prod or poke; gotta love the parties where everyone knows the drill ); chill out time, and then off to the farm to pull boats from the water for the season ( one of two made it to the garage ). Then the weekend just ended too quick ( first cup of coffee still not kicking in yet ). Keep on trucking!
soccer games watched: 2
shoes purchased: 2 (1 pair)
jelly bellys eaten: close to 1,000,000
weddings attended: 1
beers consumed: 1 (that's the number that really shows my age!)
pounds gained: 12 or so
detours/delays due to road construction: 4
naps taken: 1
bikes ridden: 1
children yelled at: 2
hugs given: 1,836
floors intended to mop: 3
floors mopped: 0
Thanks for asking!
that's hilarious. my neighbor's kid is 2 years old and LOVES beer. hehe when we went camping with them, they actually let him have some (beer) and i was shocked and horrified but it was funny.
Compared to you, my six hour round-trip drive to check out a possible new car with my hubby was boring! It was raining the entire time - does that help?
Dude! I've been going to bed at 9 p.m. and I don't even have kids. I turned to my girlfriend the other night and said, "What makes me think I have to stay up late? If I'm tired. I'm tired." So there. Go to bed. Whenever you feel like it.
I spent six hours on a train to Michigan. Ah, mostly unplanned trips to visit my parents.
On the plus side, I get tacos for dinner, and I don't have to make them. Wee.
Days spent at OBX: 7.25
Hours spent in car coming home from OBX on Saturday: 7
Roller derby games attended: 1
Beers drank: 0.25 (clearly not enough)
Cups of coffee drank at work so far: 4 (also not enough)
Bon Jovi songs listened to on iPod: 2
Is it 5PM yet: NO :(
Favorite authors met: 1
New authors discovered: 3
New authors discovered that I hung out with: 1
Dollars spent on new books: 47
That's pretty much my weekend. Literary festival, meeting Dorothy Allison, hanging out with Zelda Lockhart, listening to R.L. Stine read part of the first chapter of his not-yet-released new Goosebumps series, buying loads of books (okay, just 3 but still).
And on the beer front, might I recommend Sam Adams's Octoberfest? It should be available in stores now. I know because I bought the last 12 pack at our Food Lion on Friday :D
Saturday - Up at 5:30 AM, on the road by 6 AM to fencing competition in Winchester.
Sunday - Up at 4:30 AM, left house at 5 AM. Arrive at farm at 5:30 AM. Left farm at 6 AM with horse in tow. Arrived at horse show at 7 AM. Got home around 2 PM, fell asleep in 3rd quarter of Cowboys game and woke up in 2nd quarter of Redskins game.
Both kids had a great weekend though.
Tubes of chapstick Owen Ate: 1.
LOVE that. I remember, very well, the Chapstick eating days. They grow up so fast. Sniff.
Played. Football for the 3-year-old, soccer for the 6-year-old, and hockey for the 33-year-old. AND, my wife chilled out for an entire day. I think that might be the first time in years. Oh, and there was poker night. That rocked too. Good weekend!
Nice job on the tree. Never an easy job.
It must have been a good weekend for "Damn my woman looks hot" because Michael kept telling me how often he was checking out my ass all weekend ;)
Pictures taken: 125
Bridal Showers Attended: 1
Boxes of Kleenex gone thru by runny nosed kids: 2
Miles Put on my running shoes: 6
Perfect cupcakes consumed: 1
Cases of family drama: one big one.
Trees cut down: 1
Trees cut down that got caught up in tree 5 feet away: 1
Winches used to pull tree down:
Backhoes used to push tree off stump: 1
Trees limbed: 1
Trackhoes used to unload limbs out of truck and on top of massive stump pile: 1
Times someone wished it was winter-ish enough to fire off the massive stump pile: 5,386
Trips on backhoe to neighbor's to lift plywood to their garage roof: 2
Photo sessions taken, edited and posted to website: 2
Hours boyfriend spent playing 18 holes of golf: 4.5
Baby showers attended: 1
Pieces of campfire chicken consumed last night: 3
Deliciousness level: 1,000,000
Your wife IS pretty dang hot. You lucky guy.
We went to a princess birthday party at a park locally and then drove out to Markham for apple picking. Then I made a pie from the apples we picked and I ate some. The end.
I thought, dam your wife must be smokin hot.
T-shirts that I recommend that Chris buy for Beth: 1
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