September 30, 2009

Overheard (And Overseen) in DC

I've been shredding and packing most of what I've been doing over the last six years which is more than a little depressing. So I'm looking for all the comic relief the world has to offer this week. Luckily, I work in DC.

If you live or work (or both) in DC, you see some pretty weird shit. It's inevitable. DC is a Mecca for the elite, the destitute, the dispossessed, the powerful and the insane. And you can pretty much mix and match any of those qualities for endless fun. On any given day, sitting in traffic in sight of the White House, you can see a Presidential motorcade, Marine One flying overhead, herds of tourists, Crazy Saxophone Guy, flower and fruit vendors, and homeless Vietnam vets.

Or this guy...

caption1.jpg

I'm thinking this guy is slightly opposed to Obama's healthcare reform plans.

And then there's the conversation I managed to walk into in our cafeteria. I'm not sure what started it but I sure as hell knew immediately that I did not want to be involved. And by the way, this involved the same guy who ranted about his bird a while back.

Guy 1: So what they did to Obama is not cool.
Guy 2:With the picture?
Guy 3:Yeah, the picture.
Guy 1:It's a lot like Jesus.
Guy 3:Christ, Jesus. What does Jesus have to do with this?
Guy 1:They did the same thing to him as they're doing to Obama?
Guy 2:What, with a picture?
Guy 1:Yeah. They crucified him.
Guy 2:They didn't use a picture. Nails and boards. Not pictures.
Guy 1:You're disrespecting my opinion.
Guy 2:Fuck your opinion.
Guy 3:Fuck the picture.
Guy 2:Fuck Jesus.
Guy 3:Too far.
Guy 2:Yeah. My bad.

And then there's this. And honestly, I don't quite know what to say about this. Frankly, I found it mildly terrifying and most assuredly totally inexplicable.

caption12.jpg

I think it begs for your captioning ideas. Or, if you can't come up with something good, at least try to explain this outfit to me. Please? I've been trying to figure it out all night.

Posted by Chris at September 30, 2009 6:13 AM
Comments

Thing 1? Cat in the Hat? Come out, come out whereever you are!

Posted by: Debbie at September 30, 2009 7:42 AM

Caption: Susan hoped no one realized that she's finally escaped from the Dr. Seuss book.

Ok, that sucks, but I am functioning on so little sleep I could fall asleep with my head on my keyboard.

Posted by: Theresa at September 30, 2009 7:49 AM

OMG, is that at walmart????

Posted by: Dawn at September 30, 2009 7:58 AM

It looks like she escaped from a prison that celebrates Christmas ALL YEAR LONG.

Also, that conversation makes me sad for humanity. So, thanks for sharing!

Posted by: Frema at September 30, 2009 8:01 AM

It looks like she escaped from a prison that celebrates Christmas ALL YEAR LONG.

Also, that conversation makes me sad for humanity. So, thanks for sharing!

Posted by: Frema at September 30, 2009 8:02 AM

She's technicolor in a black and white world. Either that or she's channeling the Cat in the Hat.

As far as an explanation, I aint got one...

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 30, 2009 8:25 AM

She's got spirit, yes she does! She's got spirit, how about you??

(Sorry, doesn't rhyme as well there, huh?)

She's obviously VERY into Halloween.

Posted by: morninglight mama at September 30, 2009 8:29 AM

I was going to ask if that was at a walmart, too! Get out of my head, Dawn!!

I just... really don't know what to say about that.

Posted by: secha at September 30, 2009 8:45 AM

Chris,

The work thing that did not go your way sucks. Sorry .

Posted by: William at September 30, 2009 8:54 AM

Chris, It sounds like between this post and the post from the other day that you lost your job? If so, I am so sorry to hear that. Even if not, this kind of post-big-work-thing mourning period really sucks for you, I know. I don't really know what to say other than...yeah, it blows. And I'm sorry.

Perhaps, though, you should know that this pic totally qualifies for http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/
and that those people will likely make you feel better about yourself in general.

You're welcome.

Hang in there, buddy.

Posted by: Caitlin at September 30, 2009 9:13 AM

We have the naked cowboy here in NYC. He makes a ton of money with only a guitar and briefs.

Maybe you could be DC's Naked Cowboy...it's the right season. The colder it is the more money he makes.

Posted by: jessica at September 30, 2009 9:42 AM

Is she a deranged elf that has escaped from the North Pole, maybe looking for new ideas for Xmas presents??? Just an idea!

Posted by: Christine at September 30, 2009 9:55 AM

Is she a deranged elf that has escaped from the North Pole, maybe looking for new ideas for Xmas presents??? Just an idea!

Posted by: Christine at September 30, 2009 9:55 AM

Gay Boyfriend and I are totally staging a peopleofwalmart moment. It involves my fake fur coat and gym shorts.

Posted by: k8 at September 30, 2009 10:04 AM

Also i'm really sorry about your job. fuck.

Posted by: jessica at September 30, 2009 10:09 AM

An escaped convict from clown prison???

Posted by: Kris H. at September 30, 2009 10:49 AM

People of Walmart???

Posted by: Sarah at September 30, 2009 10:52 AM

has anyone asked you if you've seen peopleofwalmart.com? that's some funny.

and a couple weeks ago i was in the walgreens parking lot when an old woman came out of the store and pulled a lighter out of her bra and a cigarette out of her wig and lit up.

portland's got the crazies, too. those abortion bilboard trucks like to drive past the restaurant i work at downtown during the lunch hour. that's some crazy.

Posted by: kati at September 30, 2009 11:18 AM

Next up on "When Snuggies Go Bad...." Inmate #27643 gets lost on her way to the commissary.

Posted by: rebecca at September 30, 2009 11:28 AM

Oh, please tell me the jammies had feet attached - that would just make my day!

Posted by: Kim at September 30, 2009 11:39 AM

Sleepwalking?

Maybe she was there for an interview for the Santa's Elf Position for this Christmas Season?


Posted by: Jen at September 30, 2009 12:12 PM

Hahaha! You will not believe this but a few months back I was in the post office at around 2 in the afternoon and there was a grown woman (30-40ish) also in a onsie (jammies with feet) but her's were bright pink with little ducks all over! I too felt compelled to take a photo of her as it has to be seen to truly be believed/appreciated. The man in line ahead of me wondered out loud if her husband was in his boxers in the car.
I have to dig around and see if I still have it, I'll send it to you! I'm in Southern California, it's now spread to Washington - OMG, it's official - the nutjobs are taking over!!!!!!!

Posted by: laineyDid at September 30, 2009 12:12 PM

Noel.....the Human Christmas Stocking

Posted by: DeLurking Di at September 30, 2009 12:29 PM

"Candy Corn Pumpkin Girl ran out of baking supplies"

I guess some people think the grocery store is so laid back it's like they are going into their kitchen????!!!

Jewels

Posted by: Julie Andel at September 30, 2009 12:39 PM

Early Halloween party? Sleepwalking (and -driving, and -shopping)?

Posted by: Fraulein N at September 30, 2009 1:36 PM

Caption:
"Excuse me, sir, can you show me where to find the roast beast?"

So, wow, this seems very dark. Did you actually lose your job? Or did you just lose a monster account/project? If you are out of work in three weeks, geez, I am SO sorry to hear it. Luckily, you have an amazing family to mope around with for a couple of weeks, and then you can get back out there, right?

Posted by: Sabrina at September 30, 2009 2:53 PM

Option #1: She's working for one of those shows that films everyone's reactions to her awful fashion faux paux.

Option #2: She's testing out her halloween costume as a giant baby... on christmas eve.

Option #3: She's an ambassador from Mars. They sent her down to test the human race. We failed, obviously.

Posted by: Jennifer at September 30, 2009 2:56 PM

I knew Santa couldn't make all those toys in his workshop at the North Pole... he just sends his magical elves to Wallyworld to pick up the season's must-have toys at rollback prices!

Damn Walmart, taking over the world.

(p.s. I love that she also has a bit of a wedgie.)

Posted by: Megan at September 30, 2009 3:13 PM

I guess it was Dr. Seuss day at the grocery store.

Posted by: Knot at September 30, 2009 3:31 PM

She heard that stripes make you look thinner but took it to the extreme (lame I know).
I hope you didn't lose your job! If so I am so sorry!

Posted by: kali at September 30, 2009 4:33 PM

I like to think she's a personal shopper for the elves. There's a lot to get a hold of before the Christmas busy season.

Posted by: caleal at September 30, 2009 4:51 PM

Wow...no comment on the picture, only to tell you to check out peopleofwalmart.com Awesomely terrible stuff there...

And really? You haven't come right out and said you've lost your job so I have been trying to live in denial and NOT read between the lines but I am failing miserably.

Hope all is actually well and what we're seeing is just the disintegration of a major project and the resulting fall out.

Posted by: zanie at September 30, 2009 5:31 PM

Yeah, forget about the captions. Shredding and packing sounds like you're leaving your job. I had gathered that you didn't get some sort of promotion-ish thing, but it never occurred to me it might lead to your departure. I realize you may not be ready to share your plans yet, but I know I'm not the only one out here who is sending you the good thoughts, and the concerned ones. Just so you know. :o)

Posted by: shelley at September 30, 2009 6:43 PM

Ha Ha!

I have to agree with the looney bin theories.

I won't even comment on the conversation you overheard. How do you find these people?

Posted by: debb at September 30, 2009 7:20 PM

My caption, "Susie didn't realize that outside of the Dr. Seuss prison the world isn't full of WHOs."

My four-year-olds take..."OOOH, she is wearing big people jammies. I wonder if her kids have those too. I like it when grown-ups and kids have the same jammies. Can you call her and ask her where she got those? We ALL need those, even Daddy."

Posted by: Wendy at September 30, 2009 9:20 PM

My caption, "Susie didn't realize that outside of the Dr. Seuss prison the world isn't full of WHOs."

My four-year-olds take..."OOOH, she is wearing big people jammies. I wonder if her kids have those too. I like it when grown-ups and kids have the same jammies. Can you call her and ask her where she got those? We ALL need those, even Daddy."

Posted by: Wendy at September 30, 2009 9:20 PM

My caption, "Susie didn't realize that outside of the Dr. Seuss prison the world isn't full of WHOs."

My four-year-olds take..."OOOH, she is wearing big people jammies. I wonder if her kids have those too. I like it when grown-ups and kids have the same jammies. Can you call her and ask her where she got those? We ALL need those, even Daddy."

Posted by: Wendy at September 30, 2009 9:21 PM

That last picture belongs on peopleofwalmart.com.

Posted by: Amy at September 30, 2009 9:48 PM

Oh I have nothing. Some people shouldn't wear horiztontal stripes. Ever.

On a side note, I love your town. I wouldn't want to live there, but I do like visiting. Guess because I'm a country mouse, the big city is very exciting to me. I like how there are the most unexpected shops stuck here and there in the city. The first time I really got to 'be' in DC, I was coming up the escalator out of the Metro in Chinatown. The Freindship Archway was illuminated, and it was just magical. Joe was meeting me there, and he says he'll never forget the look on my face when I came up off the escalator. Ever since then, I've had a certain fondness for DC. (And he introduced me to the Post Pub. A dive, but SUCH a cool dive)

Posted by: Amy at October 2, 2009 1:03 PM

One acknowledges that modern life seems to be high priced, however some people require money for different issues and not every person gets enough money. So to receive fast loans and commercial loan should be a correct solution.

Posted by: FranciscaCARNEY31 at April 1, 2010 8:53 PM


DEC08_RECENT.jpg


DEC08_ARCHIVE.jpg