September 21, 2009

My Bizarro Weekend

Nearly everything about this weekend was strange. It started strange, ended strange and the liquid weekend center was strange. Not strange in a bad way. As a matter of fact it was a very good weekend. But a little odd.

I worked from home on Friday. Not strange as I try to pull that off a few times a month. I was waiting for something work-focused to happen which didn't happen and that was slightly disappointing (in a way) but other than that, the day was rather ho-hum. Then dinner rolled around and Mia ate pizza. Okay, I know most kids love pizza and a kid eating pizza isn't exactly a revelation. But Mia gave up pizza (for some unknown reason) about two years ago. Then suddenly - she eats half a pizza on Friday night. Odd.

Saturday was, perhaps, the point at which we entered some sort of parallel universe. We went to a birthday party for one of Mia's friends which was lovely and 100% normal. We returned home, got the kids stuff packed and, after Owen had caught a nap, we took the kids and half their stuff to my in-laws to spend the night. Without us. On a side note, Mia cracked me up as she was packing up her stuff. She packed most of what she owned. She said she didn't want it to be lonely. Anyway, on the drive over we passed a headless deer on the side of the road and a roving tuba player. Seriously. The deer was lying there (dead, that should go without saying), completely headless. You have to wonder how that happens and just where the head went. The tuba player was even more surreal. Just an older guy - maybe 50 - wearing a t-shirt and shorts wandering the streets playing a very large, somewhat shabby tuba. We dropped the kids off without too many tears (theirs and ours), went out for a nice dinner at which we saw no headless creatures or rogue horn players, then went to the store for ice cream and wine. There we saw a man wearing horns. We chose not to ask. We came home and watched The Big Lebowski which we had criminally never seen. It was an odd movie and very fitting considering the way the evening had gone.

Sunday was less surreal. By this point we were clearly on the highway out of Surrealtown. Beth headed over to pick up the kids. Mia had a swimming lesson. I did yard work. We all sat down for dinner together. All very normal.

Having a 16 hour chunk of time without kids was nice. When we got home from dinner on Saturday night, we immediately flung open all the child-proof gates, opened all the cabinets wide, and un-bungee corded the chairs around the kitchen table. It was, for a moment, freeing. But then it just felt wrong so we put everything back. But being home without kids was odd. Beth and I both woke up over and over wondering why we weren't hearing anyone tossing and turning, whining or sniffling. The whole place just didn't feel right. And neither did I. So we were both a little relieved when it was the four of us. Again. Laughing, playing, sniffling, tossing and turning.

Posted by Chris at September 21, 2009 6:13 AM
Comments

Hmmm I would have thought you would be having sex on every surface of the house rather then opening cabinets and gates....clearly I have no kids to remotely understand.

Posted by: Dee at September 21, 2009 6:39 AM

Hmmm I would have thought you would be having sex on every surface of the house rather then opening cabinets and gates....clearly I have no kids to remotely understand.

Posted by: Dee at September 21, 2009 6:40 AM

Mine was quiet. Very, very quiet. I have some sort of virus and I was in my recliner all weekend long. May actually go out for food today.

Posted by: Maribeth at September 21, 2009 9:05 AM

Sounds like a fun (albeit weird) weekend. Mine was much more normal. The only odd thing that happened was being attacked by a bullfrog. Okay, that didn't really happen, but if there hadn't been a lid between the frog and my face, I might still be running around trying to get the carnivorous beast off my nose. I love frogs, but I'm not used to them lunging at my face!

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 21, 2009 9:32 AM

You missed them. Isn't it wonderful to know?

Posted by: k8 at September 21, 2009 9:59 AM

Hmm, I saw the same headless deer and tuba player on Braddock Road while on my way home from the Virginia Wine Festival. The rest of my van (including the designated driver) also saw the same things, so I know I didn't overindulge!

Posted by: DLY at September 21, 2009 11:35 AM

Now if it was a headless tuba player....

Posted by: Rose Winters at September 21, 2009 11:42 AM

Now, the guy wearing horns - was that horns as in the kind the dead deer was no longer wearing or horns as in the kind the tuba player was playing? Just so I know.

Posted by: Loth at September 21, 2009 12:02 PM

Isn't it funny that parents always long for the quiet time without the kids but sometimes it's just eeirly quiet. I totally get what you mean about the cupboards and such.
Now, the headless deer - some sick bastard probably saw the roadkill or was responsible for it and decided to decapitate it and have the head stuffed ( ugh!) so he can brag to his friends about his conquest. That's my theory.
This reminds me of a 911 call about a redneck named Joe who hit a deer, put it in his car but the deer wasn't dead. As he's driving, it bites him in the neck. He pulls over to call for help and a stray dog sees the deer in his car and wants it - the dog bites him. He calls 911 and asks the operator, "Now who gets the deer, me or the dog?" I kid you not. This man is walking around free in America somewhere - how's that for surreal!!!
It's the funniest (and saddest) thing I have EVER heard.
click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cClB2iLAqts
NOTE: NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK OR SMALL CHILDREN!!!! (language)

Posted by: laineyDid at September 21, 2009 1:38 PM

I'm with laineyDid -- people (generally rednecks in the south) will hit a deer accidentally with their vehicle, then choose to take the head to mount. Sad, isn't it?

Posted by: coolchick at September 21, 2009 9:37 PM

The first time I was in my house alone overnight without kids that is what I did: missed every tiny ounce of their presence.

Now, I jump on the couch and dance to loud music and stay up to late and wake up to get my workout without having to make someone else breakfast first.

My kids love their time with Grandma more than I do - so I don't feel badly about it. (And my MOM? She LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES it, so it's like FULL OF WIN).

Posted by: sarah at September 21, 2009 10:14 PM

We had a weekend full of far less odd socializing. And a date night, but no overnight. Grandmas are too far away.

The Big Lebowski rocks. "This rug really pulls the room together."

Posted by: Annie at September 21, 2009 11:14 PM

Sounds like you & Beth warped inside a Stephen King novel for part of your weekend. I don't think I've ever seen a rouge tuba player in all my life...let alone a man with horns at a liquor store...all in the same night! lol

Posted by: Tina at September 22, 2009 8:48 AM

Sounds like you & Beth warped inside a Stephen King novel for part of your weekend. I don't think I've ever seen a rouge tuba player in all my life...let alone a man with horns at a liquor store...all in the same night! lol

Posted by: Tina at September 22, 2009 8:48 AM

Isn't it amazing that we miss our children is such a short time?

Posted by: cassie-b at September 22, 2009 11:31 AM


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