September 4, 2009

The Weeklies #100

The Weekly Milestone. This is the hundredth appearance of The Weeklies. Surely that deserves some sort of blow out. Be on the lookout for booze, strippers and pinatas headed your way this afternoon.

The Weekly Climate. Cool. Its starting to feel like fall. How, exactly, did that happen?

The Weekly Time-Waster. This Is The Only Level.

The Weekly Read. Despite enjoying Garth Stein's How Evan Broke His Head... I wasn't really in the mood for the heartwarming Marley & Me vibe I was getting from the back cover of The Art Of Racing In The Rain. It seemed a little too greeting card to me. But I picked it up, started reading, and I was hooked. Now, I love reading but the more and more I read, the less and less emotionally invested I seem to get in stories unless they're really powerful. And this book? Fucking made me cry. I'm not ashamed to admit it. The Art Of Racing In The Rain is truly one of the finest things I've read in a very long time. The story is unforgettable and I know I will think of it often. I sincerely recommend that you drop whatever you're doing right now - unless you're driving in which case you really shouldn't be reading this - head to your local book store, and pick up a copy. I can almost guarantee that you won't regret it.

The Weekly Schadenfreude (Or, More Accurately, The Weekly Asshat). Dan Snyder is a short, short man who, I'm guessing, has a very small penis. He also happens to be the owner of the Washington Redskins. Since buying the team, the organization has overcharged their fans and generally treated them like shit. Case in point. The Washington Post just revealed that the Redskins sued (and won) a 72 year old woman who had defaulted on her season tickets. She was forced to pay a judgment of $66,000 which forced her to declare bankruptcy. The Post also revealed that the team regularly sells tickets to brokers despite the season ticket waiting list of 160,000 people. Dan Snyder, don't punish fans or old ladies because you're short and have a tiny wang.

The Weekly Hypothetical. One long weekend - no work, no obligations - and an unlimited amount of money. What do you do?

Posted by Chris at September 4, 2009 7:03 AM

Not sure about
the fall thing. We had exactly one week of summer up here!
On the hypothetical, I'd jet off to Berlin, pick up my friend Uschi, jet off to Paris for lunch and the on to Tuscany for dinner. Then we'd spend Sunday on a Greek island in the sun, swimming and drinking and laughing. Jet off for dinner in Vienna for Wiener Schnitzel before dropping her off in Berlin and jetting home.

Posted by: Maribeth at September 4, 2009 7:28 AM

Spring is lovely here so far - yay!

Long weekend? Go to a water-based theme park - wave pool, water slides, rapids etc, and take a nanny so I get equal throwing myself around in the water time - and every evening dancing with a festive live band! And cocktails! And hire Ben Folds to put on a concert! Yippeeeee!

Posted by: Jo MacD at September 4, 2009 7:42 AM

Fly the grandparents in from England to watch the kiddos and take my husband to Venice! Although with an unlimited amount of money, I might not come back ;)

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 4, 2009 8:13 AM

The Art of Racing in the Rain quickly jumped up my list of favorite books and now makes its home in my top three of all time. This is one of those books that, when people ask me for a recommendation, the first thing I do is ask them if they've read that book, and then if they haven't press it into their hands like it's my baby, it's 1942 and they'd just told me they could save it from the Nazis. So happy you loved it so much.

I think I might spend my Labor Day weekend re-reading that now. Screw the unlimited amount of money. Actually I take that back, I'll re-read it on a beach in Fiji.

(I can never remember which website I put in here, but I have two: and

Posted by: Rachel at September 4, 2009 8:32 AM

Buy a house on Friday night, furnish it on Saturday, landscape it on Sunday. Ha.

Posted by: Elise at September 4, 2009 9:08 AM

I'm with Elise. And then I'd sleep like a baby on Monday.

Let me know when I can expect my booze and pinatas.

Posted by: Fraulein N at September 4, 2009 9:23 AM

Thanks for the good recommendation on books. It's no surprise to me that you and I have the same taste in books, because our taste in just about everything else is similar too.

Unlimited money? Gorsh... does my wife have to come? Just kidding. :) We'd probably take a private super-jet to Australia, sleeping comfortably all night friday while we travel. See Australia on Sat and Sun including seaplane tours, scuba, and amazing food eaten on the back porch of the famous opera house, hold a koala, feed a baby kangaroo, and then take the private super-jet back home sunday night where a limo would drive us to work in time for Monday.

Posted by: Brad at September 4, 2009 9:28 AM

Unlimited amount of money and no work- we're off to Italy or Greece, staying of course in a beautiful suite/villa with a great view.

Posted by: diane at September 4, 2009 9:38 AM

3 day weekend with no obligations and unlimited funds - not long enough to jet to Europe, and it's probabaly a good thing it's not real, because I couldn't decide...

3 days at a spa

3 days sitting by the pool with a hired personal chef, maid, and butler

3 days full-on at Disneyworld (staying in a suite in the Contemporary)

3 day cruise!!

So many choices; so little funds.

Posted by: Teresa at September 4, 2009 9:55 AM

Easy. I would spend it on a secluded beach, with a beach shack and plenty of beer. And I hate Dan Snyder. I am so glad I am a Ravens fan.

Posted by: Tracy H at September 4, 2009 10:11 AM

Easy. I would spend it on a secluded beach, with a beach shack and plenty of beer. And I hate Dan Snyder. I am so glad I am a Ravens fan.

Posted by: Tracy H at September 4, 2009 10:11 AM

Get a yacht with a professional captain and chef and get out onto the water, stop into a romantic little harbor town and have dinner, read a book or two on the front deck of the boat with warm wind in my hair. And I would hire a very good nanny and bring a friend along for my daughter. That way I could see her if I wanted, otherwise know she was well taken care of if I wanted me time. Oh, my husband could come if he promises to not be grumpy or negative about anything, not even once.

Posted by: Andrea at September 4, 2009 10:49 AM

I'd fly to DC and go to your place and force you to play minesweeper for three straight days while I played on your cool play structure with your awesome kids. And eat your wife's awesome cooking. It's only fair payback for all the Weekly Time Wasters.

(I'm thinking there would probably be some cost to ease the whole stalking/creepy extortionist guest factor for everyone else. But hey, you said unlimited money! Which is not to say I'd pay them money, because if kids care at all about money, a quarter is the bees' knees. There would have to be planning involved, but I could pay a strategist and a child psychologist and an adult psychologist to help me with that)

I'd be a great guest, but you wouldn't know it, because you'd have to play minesweeper the whole time. I'd let you have some beer if you didn't protest too much.

And then I'd go visit the Washington Monument. With Daniel Craig. I'm assuming he has a price.

Wow. I put way too much thought into that. Congratulations on 100 weeklies.

Posted by: harmzie at September 4, 2009 11:26 AM

I fly off somewhere exotic to see a concert. I'm fresh off the Def Leppard show in the Bay Area and I just want to run away with the circus after that performance. Rock. And. Roll.

Posted by: Brooke at September 4, 2009 11:40 AM

Unlimited amount of money?
That's a no-brainer... But there are 2 answers...
Vegas to try to turn that money into more for when it's not unlimited anymore...
But Italy to eat!!

Happy 100th!!

Have a fabulous weekend with your family. I'm sure you'll have funny stories to tell us on Tuesday!

Posted by: Rose Winters at September 4, 2009 11:42 AM

Art of Racing in the Rain was awesome! I cried too. I picked it up not because of the dog, but because of the racing...I couldn't have been more impressed by the book and the author. I recommend this book to everyone. I just wish I could find my copy so my husband could read it! It's in this house somewhere! ;-)

Happy Labor Day weekend!

Posted by: cyndy at September 4, 2009 12:06 PM

De-lurking to say Happy Anniversary! I love the weeklies!
This weedend = Horses, horses, and more horses. Three day training clinic and my idea of heaven.

Posted by: Lynn Brooks at September 4, 2009 1:54 PM

Unlimited money? This is a no-brainer for me. I'd fufill my dream and buy rural property, round up every homeless animal and start a satellite "Best Friends" location in SoCal.
BTW I read The Art of Racing in the Rain when it first came out and loved it too!
Enjoy the long weekend!!!

Posted by: laineyDid at September 4, 2009 2:02 PM

Thanks for the weeklies.

As for me, I would grab the huuuby, kids and charter a plain to a caribbean resort and get whatever else was needed when we arrived.


Posted by: debb at September 4, 2009 2:38 PM

It's like, 3:30... where are the strippers? Ohhhh, right. Got it.

Hypothetically? Crash weddings. No one can deny my kids entry when the two of them start crying about not getting to see their Gaga.

Whatever you choose, I hope it's an enjoyable holiday for you all.

Posted by: CK_Lunchbox at September 4, 2009 3:37 PM

I'd definitely buy a house :P And some land...and some horses and dogs and a really comfy bed. (What? I'm tired :P )
And I'd take my mum and sisters somewhere cool. Like some fancy schmancy resort where we could all get pampered and have giggly girl time and lots of wine ;)

Posted by: Heather at September 4, 2009 5:29 PM

Same thing I'm doing this weekend already: Going to the movies, going out to eat, going to a local fair, reading, and spending time with my family. :)

I doubt money would change my weekends, just my 9 to 5. :)

Posted by: Poppy at September 4, 2009 8:19 PM

Congratulations on your hundredth. Quite an accomplishment

Posted by: cassie-b at September 5, 2009 9:27 AM

Crap! I'm not home this weekend - I'm going to miss the beer, pinata and strippers that you're sending!
Oh, well, I'd probably only really enjoy the pinata anyhow.

Posted by: Kim at September 6, 2009 9:41 AM