September 11, 2009

The Weeklies #101

The Weekly Odd Pop Culture Choice. Ellen. As a judge on American Idol. Either it'll be the best decision ever made in the history of television or it'll backfire terribly.

The Weekly Beer. Red Hook India Pale Ale

The Weekly Winner. No one guessed the first noun in Wednesday's contest. And since it's probably TMI, I'm going to keep it that way. While there were a lot of great creative guesses, Lisa was the first to guess that the guitar pedal was in the toilet. See, I was playing so damn well that the thing just burned up. That or I plugged it in using the wrong adapter and it kinda blew up and the only place I knew it might not burn the house down was in the toilet. Congratulations Lisa!

The Weekly Time Waster. Stick War

The Weekly Read. I'm neither a runner nor a novelist which makes it odd that I decided to pick up Haruki Murakami's What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, a relatively brief non-fiction piece in which the surrealist author ruminates on his love of running and how that impacts his writing. Now, I'm predisposed to like this because I like Murakami's writing. And as I dove into the book, I felt like I could appreciate his fiction better. I also learned that he and I have very similar personalities which I thought was interesting. If you like Murakami, enjoy running, or just want a nice brief piece of non-fiction to ponder, you really can't go wrong here.

The Weekly Dumbass. Jon. As in Kate's soon-to-be-former-other-half. The dude used to command some sympathy being married to a shrew with an unfortunate 'do and all. But now he can't seem to stop talking. This week, he's piped up again, telling the world that he "despises" Kate and loves his new flame - the barely legal Hailey Glassman - more than he did Kate. Classy. You know, Jon, one day your kids are going to see this and they're going to realize just how big a douchebag their father is.

The Weekly Bonus Time Waster. Equanimity.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson has a big mouth. Which he unfortunately opened during the President's speech before a joint session of Congress on Wednesday night. During the President's pledge that health care would not be funded for illegal immigrants, Wilson shouted "you lie!" Look, I thought Dubya was an ignorant asshat but even I had respect for the office and his position in it. And yelling at the President is just something you don't do.

The Weekly Hypothetical. If you were a pirate, what would you pillage?

The Weekly P.S.. I know we talked about it yesterday but please don't ever forget the significance of this day.

Posted by Chris at September 11, 2009 5:42 AM

I think Ellen on Idol is a big mistake. Paula was fun to laugh at, I'm afraid with Ellen I'd WANT to like what she says and what she does but I'll be cringing instead.
Jon is SUCH a douchebag. But that didn't stop me from taping Primetime in which he evidently claims that Kate abused him. I'd like him to stop by so I can smack him too. 'Cus he's a douchebag.
If I was a pirate I would pillage shoe stores as well as Marshalls, TJ Maxx and consignment shops containing upscale clothing. My reasons being: I love shoes and those types of stores have the best varieties and petite sizes.

Posted by: NancyJ at September 11, 2009 7:07 AM

Yay!! I never win anything! Thanks!!

Posted by: Lisa at September 11, 2009 7:10 AM

What would I pillage? Dark Chocolate! Yes, all the dark chocolate of the world would be mine...and soon after I would look like Jaba The Hut!

Posted by: Maribeth at September 11, 2009 7:20 AM

I was always taught "if you cannot respect the person, you respect the office." Someone said to me yesterday we would be the last generation taught that,

Pitiful. You do not heckle the President of the United States of America.

Posted by: jodifur at September 11, 2009 8:02 AM

Oh Maribeth, you'll have to fight with me for the dark chocolate :). Let's see...I think I would pillage Starbucks! Yup, takes a lot of coffee to make a happy pirate. I might even through some yo ho ho and a shot of rum in there from time to time. I know you can't pillage a person, but if I could, I think I'd lock Mike Rowe up and throw him in my brig ;)!

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 11, 2009 8:23 AM

I must have had some rum already, because I meant "throw" not "through". *Hand-smacking-head*

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 11, 2009 8:26 AM

I would plunder a book store. Preferably a book store that also sold music and movies. Like Borders. I would plunder Borders. And Chevy's, if only for their guacamole. And Target.

Borders, Chevy's and Target. Sadly, all three of those were key for how I spent most of my Friday nights when I lived in Sacramento. heh

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at September 11, 2009 9:59 AM

I would pillage Lowe's. You think one could pillage enough lumber and supplies to build an entire new home? Awesome. And how hard could that be to assemble later, right? I mean that computer desk only took me two days and I only had like six or eight parts left over when I was done . . .

Posted by: Sara at September 11, 2009 10:28 AM

First, I plunder a mega yacht, then a computer warehouse, and finally head out into international waters to plunder the data networks of the world. Arrr me matey!

Posted by: metawizard at September 11, 2009 11:07 AM

I thought the same thing when Jon was mouthing off. When your kids watch all this someday, and you know they will, what are they going to think of you then?

Hmmm, can we pillage stores? I'm assuming so...Target, Barnes and Noble, Nordstrom and and sort of fancy kitchen store. Oh, oh and any camera store so I could snag some new lenses!

Posted by: Dianna at September 11, 2009 11:49 AM

I would pillage the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame's collection. But I would take really good care of it. Except I might play some of the guitars.

Posted by: Brooke at September 11, 2009 11:51 AM

I think Ellen is going to be funny.
I also think Simon is going to HATE her being there which will make things even funnier!

Yes, the more Jon G opens his mouth, the deeper he digs his whole. Divorces are not meant for the world to see. His children will forever resent him for the trash talk about their mother. I haven't been watching... has Kate been trashing him too?

I do agree with you about the President (no matter how much you hate or disagree with him) should have respect. And I also think there's a time and place for everything. I think the Senator should have waited until the President was done speaking to call him a liar. The media forgets, this was an address to the Senators right? So they should be able to speak up, though he should have waited for a more appropriate time.

I'd probably pillage diamonds and Lemonade Mike & Ikes. They are THE BEST!!

And last but certainly not least - I will NEVER FORGET!

Have a good weekend everyone!

Posted by: Rose Winters at September 11, 2009 12:01 PM

I'm thinking I would pilage a boat to take me to the caribbean where I would take over some multi-billionares lair.

Or else Target, Borders, and Red Lobster

Congrats Lisa!

Have a good weekend everyone!

Posted by: debb at September 11, 2009 1:00 PM

Heh I was a little too specific with my toilet guess ;)
And Jon...ugh. They should set up some sort of charity dunk tank thing with him because I'm thinking a lot of people would pay to do it :P

Posted by: Heather at September 11, 2009 2:01 PM

I would pillage a Sephora store! Think mega makeup and upscale beauty store :)

And thanks AGAIN, South Carolina...looks like I moved away just in time...

Posted by: Stephanie at September 11, 2009 7:22 PM

Did you see the Jimmy Kimmel interview the other night with Kathy Griffin? They showed a clip of Kathy playing Kate of the infamous Jon & Kate and the hair...I mean, it was, scary. Scary because it was DEAD ON.

Posted by: julia at September 12, 2009 3:36 PM

I think I need that book.

(Way behind on blogs this week.)

There is a large bullfrog in your bathroom. (No clue with kids it could be pretty much anything.)

Posted by: Nat at September 12, 2009 4:56 PM

If I was a pirate, I'd be a female pirate amongst male pirates who DO bathe-
and I'd most likely be trying to pillage them.
Something about eyepatches and those muslin shirts just- rowr.

Ever had Alaskan Amber? Very good beer.

Posted by: Karen at September 13, 2009 9:40 AM

Nice to meet you! I forget how I got here, though...

Posted by: suburbancorrespondent at September 13, 2009 10:03 AM

I long for the day when American Idol will be canceled.

Posted by: Jack at September 14, 2009 3:24 AM

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Posted by: SHARIPalmer20 at January 9, 2011 4:40 PM