December 4, 2009

The Weeklies #111

The Weekly Birthday. Mine, tomorrow.

The Weekly Age. 32...okay 37 for realz.

The Weekly Time Waster. It's called Christmas shopping.

The Weekly Read. If you've been reading long enough, you'll understand my deep and abiding love for Charlie Huston's novels. He wrote maybe the best mystery trilogy ever - The Henry Thompson Trilogy consisting of Caught Stealing, Six Bad Things and A Dangerous Man - and he continues to write a series devoted to a private investigator who just so happens to be a vampire (and why these novels have flown under the radar with the recent vampire craze, I'll never know because they're awesome and I don't even like vampire books). Huston has also written three standalone novels - The Shotgun Rule (which I didn't love), The Mystic Art of Erasing All Signs of Death (which I absolutely loved) and Sleepless (which I just finished). I got my hands on an advanced copy of Sleepless and was jazzed about it. Until I read the first couple of paragraphs. It was obvious that I was not reading your typical Huston novel. It seemed to take place in the near future, revolved around an epidemic which rendered people sleepless (a condition which was maddening in the short term and fatal in the long run) and it didn't seem to have the typical Huston feel and style. But I continued because it's Huston. When I turned the final page last night, I felt like I'd read some crazy hybrid of William Gibson and Stephen King though Huston's style and voice were obvious. I felt like the book's 350 pages told a story much more vast. And despite my initial struggle, I loved the novel.

The Weekly Way to Get John Mellencamp to Quit Smoking. If Mellencamp's son gets 1,000,000 members on his Facebook group page, Mellencamp has vowed to finally quit.

The Weekly No-Shit Headline. Courtesy of CNN:


The Weekly Schadenfreude. No one can escape the media frenzy over the Tiger Woods accident. And I find it hilarious - both the media coverage and the accident itself. Apparently we're all suckers for a fender-bender so long as it involves an A-list celebrity. And apparently Tiger is a sucker for models, since he seems to sleep with them frequently despite also being married to one. Why do we expect celebrities to be infallible? And why do we give a rats ass when they run into fire hydrants?

The Weekly Hypothetical. If, on your next birthday, you could choose what age you wanted to be, what age would you choose? And why?

Posted by Chris at December 4, 2009 7:16 AM

Oh that is tough. I'd like my 26 year old body back, but I wouldn't change my age for anything. I like who I am now.

Posted by: Maribeth at December 4, 2009 7:34 AM

You and I share the same birthday - so here is a special happy birthday to my birthday twin! I have to agree with Maribeth. I really like who I am now and wish that I could have been THIS person when I was 26 or so. I would have kicked ass!

Posted by: Debbie at December 4, 2009 7:47 AM

This is my first ever comment on a blog and i've been reading them for many years. My birthday is also tomorrow!

I would go back to age 25 so I could experience my boys being born and relive their lives. They are 17 and 13!

Posted by: Kim at December 4, 2009 8:49 AM

This is my first ever comment on a blog and i've been reading them for many years. My birthday is also tomorrow!

I would go back to age 25 so I could experience my boys being born and relive their lives. They are 17 and 13!

Posted by: Kim at December 4, 2009 8:49 AM

Happy Birthday!!

I don't think I'd want to go back and relive anything. I might not make the same mistakes but I'd probably think of a whole new set.

Posted by: Ann Elizabeth Adams at December 4, 2009 9:54 AM

Happy birthday! I hope it is a good one.

You suggested Charlie Huston to me a while ago, and I've become a fan. I think Sleepless just went on my Christmas list.

Posted by: bad penguin at December 4, 2009 9:54 AM

Ah, a fellow Saggitarius, I knew there was a reason I liked you!
Happy Birthday!!!

Posted by: laineyDid at December 4, 2009 10:36 AM

What are you getting for your birthday? (Or do you not do gifts, seeing as your wife just brought home a wii a few days ago.) I ask because I'm fresh out of ideas for Christmas for my husband, and I'm trying to mooch ideas off anyone who will stand still long enough for me to pester them. Wait, where are you going?

Posted by: lumpyheadsmom at December 4, 2009 10:40 AM

Happy b-day; and 21 again, since that is the last major "pain in the butt can't do stuff" milestone b-day, and would love to have the body back with the mind I have now.

Posted by: metawizard at December 4, 2009 11:17 AM

Okay, this is the same boring answer I always give when confronted with this question.

I am happy with my age now. There is no good in going back and I don't want to miss anything coming up.

Happy Birthday, Chris! Hope you have a fantabulous day tomorrow!

Posted by: debb at December 4, 2009 11:21 AM

Happy Early Birthday! I think I'd choose to be 20 or 21. It wasn't that great, but I definitely wouldn't mind having that body back and a chance to do some things differently.

Posted by: Fraulein N at December 4, 2009 11:32 AM

Happy Early Birthday, 37 is not THAT old, just a little old. =)

I am SO jealous you already got to read Huston's new novel! It's on my preorder and I'm anxiously awaiting it!

Posted by: Lesley Barr at December 4, 2009 12:34 PM

happy day before your birthday!
you turning 37 makes me happy because, holy hell, somedays it seems like i'm the oldest person on the internets! so, woot! someone older than me! even if it's only by a few months. :D

i hope you have a great day.

Posted by: patricia at December 4, 2009 12:35 PM

happy birthday (tomorrow), and I entirely agree wrt a-list celebs and fenderbenders and.... talk about wasting time/space/energy. good at something does not mean infallible and why we continue to expect perfection of people we admire is beyond me.

as for age, except for my starting parenthood rather late (48), I'm quite pleased with where I'm at right now (51). what would I choose? hmm.... I'd love to be a bit closer in age to my wife, but ... I don't think I'd change a thing.

Posted by: pvz at December 4, 2009 1:11 PM

Happy birthday to the handsomest cactus I know!

Posted by: Gwen at December 4, 2009 2:48 PM

37. It's when I had my first midlife crisis. Ahhh, memories. Good luck tomorrow.

Posted by: Marshall Karp at December 4, 2009 3:02 PM

Happy birthday for tomorrow!

Posted by: Katherine at December 4, 2009 4:00 PM

I like Tiger Woods as a pro athlete. And of pro athletes, he would make my "least likely to be having an affair with a model" list. But I haven't seen or read anything about this in the news, just heard water cooler talk. Other than my surprise that he's not Mr. Normal, I truly don't care at all what is going on in his life.

I would chose any age between 28 and 32. I looked my best then, and knew just enough about life not to be a total dork. After that, I began to know slightly too much about life.

Posted by: Laura at December 4, 2009 4:13 PM

Happy Birthday! Party like a rockstar.

Posted by: DCUrbanDad at December 4, 2009 4:41 PM

I have to agree with a lot of your commenters. I would stay the same age I am, but would kill for the body I had at 22!

Have a fabulous birthday! Can't wait to read about it on Monday.

Posted by: Krush at December 4, 2009 6:10 PM

Happy Birthday.

Ummmm... no clue what age I'd like to be...

Posted by: Nat at December 4, 2009 6:31 PM

Happy Birthday. I wouldn't go back, but sure I'd like my hotter, trimmer body back, but I like who I am better now.

Tiger: Somewhat following it. The appearance that his wife may have kicked his butt is what I feel is driving this story along with his utter stupidity. The lack of discretion is what I find the most interesting.

The dude has a gorgeous wife and 2 little one's at home. I find it sad and terrible that nothing seems private, but he's making a killing on his image--so it goes with the territory.

Posted by: One Mom's Opinion at December 4, 2009 6:46 PM

I might go back to 25 - I've been 26 for over a week now and it's still freaking me out a little :P

Posted by: Heather at December 4, 2009 7:54 PM

How old was I in '93? I was born in '61. I'd like to look like that again; I looked better then than I did even in my late teens/early 20s.

I wouldn't want to BE that age again, though. I like the inside me a lot better now.

And you know, I don't give a rat's ass who Tiger Woods bangs, but it does bring to mind a question I've been asking myself since I was about 16 years old: Why do men find a complete lack of class so sexy? You see it over and over--some man is caught banging the tackiest, nastiest, most ridiculously vulgar sleazebag in spite of the fact that he has a good-looking, bright, classy, successful wife at home.

As girls, our parents teach us how important it is to have self-respect and dignity, to cultivate class/grace/sophistication, to learn and achieve and succeed--but it seems that men don't really find any of that sexy. I mean, they seem to marry it, granted--but it doesn't really seem to trip their triggers, does it. If it did, they'd be home sexing it up instead of out chasing hookers, right?

It wears me out.


Posted by: Elise at December 4, 2009 8:40 PM

Happy birthday tomorrow! Re: Tiger's issues -- love how they quickly got the prenup reworked. I'm betting the attorney went to Tiger's house, rather than Tiger leaving his house and running the risk of someone snapping a photo of his injuries. As for his wife, I'm sorry, but if you are married to a billionaire, how can you not get your teeth fixed? Please!

Posted by: coolchick at December 4, 2009 9:18 PM

26, because I was making an awesome salary, and was really happy with my boyfriend. Though 27 was good too because I had just moved into my house....
I'm confused on your last name - is it with or without the "Le" like on FB?

Posted by: Rose Winters at December 5, 2009 12:14 AM

37? I don't believe you! You don't look a day older than 25 ;)


Posted by: Nadine at December 5, 2009 9:10 AM

Happy Cake Day! That is what our family calls it after we hit 30...which is the age I would be again. My children were babies, bones were not so creaky and I was pulled in less directions.

Posted by: Micky at December 5, 2009 11:39 AM

If I got to stay here, where I am, the only thing that would change would be my age? I'd take ten years off. 32. First, that would make me five years younger than my husband and it's his turn to older. Secondly, I could quit worrying about the age of my eggs and having a baby. At 42, every day seems like a tiny tic against the possibility. That would give me some time off from that to just enjoy being married and figuring out our life.

If you mean I have to go back to that stage of life, I would not change a thing.

Happy Birthday!

Posted by: Jodi at December 5, 2009 3:32 PM

Happy Birthday Chris!!

Posted by: Moiii at December 5, 2009 8:56 PM

Happy Birthday Chris!!

Posted by: Moiii at December 5, 2009 8:56 PM

Happy Birthday to you!

Posted by: Jenny at December 5, 2009 10:40 PM

I will be 26 on my next birthday (I know, shut up, right?) but I really want to be 23 again. I just think that's a good age. My early twenties haven't been bad, and I don't want to be in the same place that I was at 23, but that just seems like a good number.

Posted by: Stephanie at December 6, 2009 5:56 PM

25. Because in 2 months I'm turning 30 and I'm just not ok with that. Actually I WOULD be ok with that, except that I'm actually starting to FEEL old. I walked all over your state last weekend and all over DC this weekend and you know what? IT HURT. There are plenty of times I've walked until I've gotten fatigued, sure, but I've never actually experienced PAIN from WALKING before. It's seriously hurting my ego. So is the fact that after I stood up from both the IMAX movie and the play we saw in DC, I was uncomfortably stiff - from just sitting still. My body is betraying me. It never would have done this at 25.

Posted by: amy at December 8, 2009 9:48 PM

That's understandable that cash makes us free. But how to act when one has no cash? The only one way is to try to get the mortgage loans and secured loan.

Posted by: Hilary18Campos at November 20, 2011 10:56 AM