January 15, 2010

The Weeklies #115

The Weekly Disaster. Haiti. Please help. Lifehacker has a list of charities as well as some sites to help you avoid scams.

The Weekly Movie. The aforementioned Food Inc.

The Weekly Weird Product. Want to keep your genatalia nice and fresh looking? Never fear - My New Pink Button is here.

The Weekly Time Waster. Blow stuff up with Dynamite Blast.

The Weekly Music. Hair metal. Yeah, seriously.

The Weekly Read. Greg Iles writes two kinds of books - somewhat generic thrillers that are instantly forgettable and compelling, thought provoking novels into which you can become completely immersed. I count Turning Angel among his finest so I was thrilled when The Devil's Punchbowl hit shelves since it featured the same characters and setting. I wasn't at all disappointed. The Devil's Punchbowl was insanely addicting with great characters. I devoured all 700 pages in short order. And wanted more.

The Weekly Dick. Pat Robertson. Yeah, I'm sure the Haiti earthquake was brought on by its pact with the devil. Douchebag.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. NBC. I don't know why but I've found myself completely enthralled by the whole Jay Leno/Conan O'Brien thing. The real loser? NBC. Long gone are they days in which NBC was appointment television. How far the mighty fall.

The Weekly Hypothetical. Let's say you find $50 on the street. No one around and you know in your heart that you won't be able to return it to it's owner. What do you do with it?

Posted by Chris at January 15, 2010 8:19 AM
Comments

First, yay for hair metal! Now, with the 50 bucks... hmmm. Most likely, I'd put it in the bank and keep in my mind that I had some extra money out there. I'd probably treat myself to a nice meal and buy a book or two. Boring, I know!

Posted by: Claire at January 15, 2010 8:25 AM

If I were sure I wouldn't be able to find the owner, I use the $50 to buy a bunch of books for my new Kindle. Or to take out a hit on Pat Robertson.

Posted by: Elizabeth at January 15, 2010 8:29 AM

If I absolutely knew I could not return the money to its owner, I would probably turn around and donate it to one of those Haiti charities. And I really do mean that. But I would have to do it quick, because if hubby found out about the $ money first, it would be all about the cheap wine and prostitutes! ;-)

Posted by: Varinia at January 15, 2010 8:33 AM

Is The Weekly Dick a new addition to Fridays? I like it and vote you keep it as a regular topic. I would probably try and do something positive with the money and impact someone else. Seriously. I am that good of a person. :)

Posted by: Debbie at January 15, 2010 8:34 AM

I'd pick it up and pocket it. Then I would stop at the Salvation Army near here that has a shelter and soup kitchen and I would give it to them.

Posted by: Maribeth at January 15, 2010 8:40 AM

I love the weekly dick pick! When Pat Robertson blabbed on about the pact with the devil then added, "True story!" I went, WHAT? Because you were there, old man? Ugh.

Posted by: kirida at January 15, 2010 8:52 AM

I'd pay a bill....

Posted by: Jenn too at January 15, 2010 9:12 AM

I'd totally pocket the cash. I would like to say I'd give at least some of it to charity, but if we're being realistic... nah, I'd probably spend it on myself. Maybe I'd buy some books or something with it.

Re: The Weekly Dick - I too am caught up in this late night TV fiasco. Mostly b/c I don't find Leno remotely amusing and I think he played a much bigger role in Conan being screwed over by NBC than he wants anyone to know. It's just too much of a coincidence that Letterman got screwed over for The Tonight Show in the early '90s and now Conan, and both times to Leno's benefit.

I sort of wonder if Leno did a crappy show at 10 on purpose. Apparently he agreed to retire 5 years ago (but shouldn't have if he didn't want to) and then when the end date got near started rumbling about going to another network. NBC supposedly offered him all sorts of specials - even a show at 8 p.m. (which would not have impacted The Tonight Show lead-in so much) etc., but the only thing he went for was the 10 p.m. slot 5 nights a week where he could directly impact Conan's lead-in and nightly ratings. Again, that's just a little too much of a coincidence. If Leno hadn't done that and instead NBC had given Conan a strong lead-in at 10 (like Leno had during his early days hosting Tonight-and even then it took him two years to catch/pass Letterman in the ratings), Conan probably would have retained more of The Tonight Show audience (probably similar numbers to what Leno had his first two years hosting), plus the younger viewers Conan brought with him from 12:30. Really, if Johnny Carson did to Leno what Leno did to Conan there probably wouldn't be a Tonight Show anymore. Leno is a first-class douche who is struggling to make it seem like he's the victim of NBC's crappy management.

Ugh. Sorry to go off like that. Obviously there are way more important things going on in the world and I swear this is not what I spend the majority of my time thinking about, it just has me riled up for some reason.

Posted by: erin at January 15, 2010 9:28 AM

I'd totally pocket the cash. I would like to say I'd give at least some of it to charity, but if we're being realistic... nah, I'd probably spend it on myself. Maybe I'd buy some books or something with it.

Re: The Weekly Dick - I too am caught up in this late night TV fiasco. Mostly b/c I don't find Leno remotely amusing and I think he played a much bigger role in Conan being screwed over by NBC than he wants anyone to know. It's just too much of a coincidence that Letterman got screwed over for The Tonight Show in the early '90s and now Conan, and both times to Leno's benefit.

I sort of wonder if Leno did a crappy show at 10 on purpose. Apparently he agreed to retire 5 years ago (but shouldn't have if he didn't want to) and then when the end date got near started rumbling about going to another network. NBC supposedly offered him all sorts of specials - even a show at 8 p.m. (which would not have impacted The Tonight Show lead-in so much) etc., but the only thing he went for was the 10 p.m. slot 5 nights a week where he could directly impact Conan's lead-in and nightly ratings. Again, that's just a little too much of a coincidence. If Leno hadn't done that and instead NBC had given Conan a strong lead-in at 10 (like Leno had during his early days hosting Tonight-and even then it took him two years to catch/pass Letterman in the ratings), Conan probably would have retained more of The Tonight Show audience (probably similar numbers to what Leno had his first two years hosting), plus the younger viewers Conan brought with him from 12:30. Really, if Johnny Carson did to Leno what Leno did to Conan there probably wouldn't be a Tonight Show anymore. Leno is a first-class douche who is struggling to make it seem like he's the victim of NBC's crappy management.

Ugh. Sorry to go off like that. Obviously there are way more important things going on in the world and I swear this is not what I spend the majority of my time thinking about, it just has me riled up for some reason.

Posted by: erin at January 15, 2010 9:29 AM

I so agree on the Pat Robertson thing. Jeezy peezy. And I'm definitely on Team Conan on this whole NBC thing. I'm hoping he ends up on Fox at 11 pm so I can watch him succeed. I DVR Craig Ferguson nightly -- he's my main man. Love him.

$50 -- found money! I'd use it for everyday stuff - nothing special. Of course, if I found it today, I'd probably text the Red Cross a few more times.

Posted by: coolchick at January 15, 2010 9:35 AM

The heavens shine on me when I find money. I keep it, knowing that my time to give comes and goes with life.

And what? No mention of Sarah Palin joining Fox News?

Alright. Pat Robertson was more of a douchebag than her this week. But still.

Posted by: k8 at January 15, 2010 9:43 AM

I'd send that $50 to Haiti.

Can I add a personal plea/link for Haiti? I'm trying to pass this around as much as possible because individual orgs on the ground in Haiti need funds. Anyway, a former coworker and his family help run an orphanage in Jacmal. They're able to update their blog and have donation information (where to donate and what is needed) available. They are legit! http://www.mangine.org

Thanks all!

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at January 15, 2010 10:00 AM

I'd *totally* buy 50 bux worth of Genital Dye and send it to Haiti.

****my bad, I know...but, still****

I guess I really *am* a sick fuck.

Posted by: Julia at January 15, 2010 10:45 AM

Donate. The whole batch.

Posted by: oakmonster at January 15, 2010 11:33 AM

I'd give the $50 at church or to a charity. This week, I'd send it to Haiti.

Posted by: Brooke at January 15, 2010 11:35 AM

Last year I found a $100 bill in a parking lot. I really needed the money, but I couldn't just take it, so instead I went into the store closest to where the money was and turned it in. I figured whoever lost it probably really needed the money too. I did give them my name and number, and a week later they called and said no one claimed it, so I went ASAP to get it. I got to keep the $100 and didn't end up on a Dateline special about social experiments!

Posted by: Pegnandy at January 15, 2010 11:35 AM

If I absolutely could not find the owner, I would probably go buy a few bags of fresh fruit and bring them to Median Man (the man who lives, yes literally lives, in the median near where we live). He is always so polite and never really asks for anything. We gave him one of my husband's older coats last year, and he is still using it.

With the last half of the $50? I would probably go buy a new book or two. Or possibly take the kids out for ice cream.

Posted by: Jen at January 15, 2010 11:43 AM

I LOVE GREG ILES. And agree with you about "Turning Angel" (I didn't like "True Evil" as much as Turning Angel, but really, I've enjoyed everything of his I've read so far).

The moohlah? Y'know, I'd probably keep it. Not sure what I'd spend it on. I've got a few little trips coming up, and that's probably coffee pit stop money.

Posted by: Sarah at January 15, 2010 12:33 PM

Pat - idiot.
Hair Metal - awesome.

Posted by: Heather at January 15, 2010 1:32 PM

I'd use the $50 to buy treats/toys for shelter animals.

Posted by: LaineyDid at January 15, 2010 1:43 PM

I have no idea what I'd do with the $20. It would probably depend on when and where I found it, to be honest, but I don't think I'd spend it on myself. I'd feel guilty.

No argument from me about Pat Robertson. I cannot understand how people who claim to be Christians can even think, let alone say, stuff like that. As my husband put it, "I don't have a problem with Jesus, but I have BIG problems with a lot of his followers."

We started recording "The Tonight Show" when Conan took it over in June. He's totally getting screwed over in this scenario. But at least when he leaves, we can free up some space on the DVR rotation, because we WON'T be watching Leno.

Posted by: Florinda at January 15, 2010 2:01 PM

I think I would spend the $50 on a massage. Selfish, I know, but I need one these days!

Posted by: Hope at January 15, 2010 2:16 PM

Hair Metal. Oh yes, I feel an afternoon of Motley Crue is a fine idea. Don't have any Motley Crue on my iPod mind you. But it's still a fine idea.

Posted by: Kevin Spencer at January 15, 2010 2:38 PM

Do you know I once found a $1K bill in the street? I left it there. Was next door to a shady business and my gut instinct was to walk away quickly.

This week, of course, I would donate the fifty to Oxfam or some other charity helping Haiti. If I found it next month, maybe I'd spend it on my daughter or a fancy new bra. That would be a gift for me *and* my husband.

Posted by: Laura at January 15, 2010 4:03 PM

I most likely would not even be able to pick up the money, just knowing it's not mine. But if I did I would have to do something "good" with it. And I can hear my sister telling me how pathetic I am in my head..but I would rather that because my right/wrong feelings are strong.

Posted by: diane at January 15, 2010 4:19 PM

I have an addition to the 'weekly dick' category for the week...

Rush Limbaugh has opened his mouth again - and had the audacity to say that folks should not donate through the RedCross link that the White House posted - because there was no 'guarantee that the Administration would send all that money to Haiti'...

Link to the letter Roger Ebert published today calling him out on his idiocy....

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100114/OPINION/100119985

Posted by: Kellie at January 15, 2010 4:36 PM

WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR GENITAL DYE?

Ahem. That is all.

Posted by: Dawn at January 15, 2010 5:02 PM

pink button...gross. just gross.

Posted by: raino at January 15, 2010 11:07 PM

pink button...gross. just gross.

Posted by: raino at January 15, 2010 11:07 PM

pink button...gross. just gross.

Posted by: raino at January 15, 2010 11:07 PM

I have a friend that likes Greg Isles. I added those two books to my "to read" shelf.

And that $50, it's going in my pocket of course!

Posted by: Rose Winters at January 16, 2010 1:47 AM

Me? I'd view it as having good Karma and spend it on something fun.

I totally think Conan is getting screwed and I totally think Leno has a hand in it. I want to smack those execs who are saying Conan didn't bring the ratings. Keep Leno OFF at 10pm, let Conan do his show and THEN see how the ratings are. Assholes. They're trying to compare apples with oranges. Networks don't give a shit about their affiliates either. Blowing up their 10pm lead in to the news. They would have kept everything just the way it was if some affiliates hadn't started making noise about bumping Leno and airing their own shows at 10pm.

Yeah and Pat Robertson needs to stop his preaching. Scary that people would actually believe that crap coming out of his mouth.

Posted by: NancyJ at January 16, 2010 2:12 PM

Me? I'd view it as having good Karma and spend it on something fun.

I totally think Conan is getting screwed and I totally think Leno has a hand in it. I want to smack those execs who are saying Conan didn't bring the ratings. Keep Leno OFF at 10pm, let Conan do his show and THEN see how the ratings are. Assholes. They're trying to compare apples with oranges. Networks don't give a shit about their affiliates either. Blowing up their 10pm lead in to the news. They would have kept everything just the way it was if some affiliates hadn't started making noise about bumping Leno and airing their own shows at 10pm.

Yeah and Pat Robertson needs to stop his preaching. Scary that people would actually believe that crap coming out of his mouth.

Posted by: NancyJ at January 16, 2010 2:14 PM

My resolution for 2010 was to give more. I'd make it this month's donation. My favorite charities are the MS Society, St. Jude's, Doctors Without Borders, Red Cross, Livestrong, and the SF AIDS foundation.

Posted by: Brad at January 18, 2010 10:20 AM

One time I found $50 on the ground outside a bar. I told my date to cover me while I bent over and pretended to adjust my shoe. Then I used the money to pay for our drinks for the night. I'm pretty sure that made me the coolest date ever.

Posted by: Megan at January 18, 2010 10:28 AM

It's well known that cash can make people disembarrass. But how to act when someone has no money? The one way only is to get the lowest-rate-loans.com or bank loan.

Posted by: FreemanESMERALDA22 at July 2, 2010 10:16 PM


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