February 22, 2010

Thin Ice Of A New Day

When I was a kid I never liked going to birthday parties that required either roller or ice skating. I never enjoyed either and loathed the opportunity to fall on my ass in front of other people. Or look like I generally didn't know what I was doing. Yet, on Saturday, all caught up in Olympic fever, Beth and I took Mia and Owen ice skating.


Owen hated it. I attempted to anchor myself in such a way that I was able to hold on to Owen with both hands while his feet slid out from under him chaotically. All the while he looked up at me, whimpering and angry seeming to say what the fuck is wrong with my feet, dad? Owen and I lasted about ten minutes. Beth and Mia fared much better, lasting at least an hour. And I'm pretty sure Mia would have stayed on the ice another hour. Instead, we went for Mexican food and the kids got high on chips.

Being a parent is an odd thing. Having kids has allowed me to identify things in myself that I have never before truly recognized and link things together that I wouldn't have linked before.

I've got a lot going on at work. A lot of balls in the air, plates spinning, and other metaphors. One theme lately is an aversion to being put in a position in which I have to prove myself. It's a lot like having to strap on skates at a kids' birthday party. I don't want to be in a position in which I a) could fail and b) have such a failure make a negative impact on whatever it is I'm working on. Mia was a natural on the ice. And I am a natural at some of the stuff I'm most afraid of failing at.

I guess I could learn a lot from my daughter. Despite slipping and sliding and falling down quite a bit and being creamed twice by other skaters, Mia wanted nothing more than to go back and ice skate again on Sunday. Which is precisely what she did.

What fear are you forced to face the most?

Posted by Chris at February 22, 2010 7:16 AM

Driving my car. After my accident I began to really hate to drive. And yet, it is something one must do all the time, isn't it?
Love the picture of Mia skating! I knew it! Is she watching the Olympic Skating?

Posted by: Maribeth at February 22, 2010 8:11 AM

Rejection. I am in sales. I always swear I am going to get out....

Posted by: Debbie at February 22, 2010 8:15 AM

I'm going to remind you about this post in a few years when you are dropping $100 an hour on lessons with an Olympic level figure skating coach.

Posted by: COD at February 22, 2010 9:15 AM

Having Tull stuck in my head for yet another day. That scares the crap out of me. :)

Posted by: Mr Lady at February 22, 2010 9:56 AM

Public Speaking. The sadest part about this is that my public speaking is in the form of school presentations primarily for third graders. I understand that they could care less about what I am saying, but man they make me nervous!

Posted by: Ashley K at February 22, 2010 10:35 AM

She is so cute :) Lately I feel a little bit afraid of everything. It's ... not the most fun ever :P

Posted by: Heather at February 22, 2010 10:41 AM

I'm ok with with failure and public speaking.

It's that nasty abandonment that gets me every time.

Posted by: alektra at February 22, 2010 10:52 AM

I am afraid of changing. Since, I am in the midst of a seperation, I am dealing with change all day, every day. I swear, I cannot seem to breathe lately.

Posted by: debb at February 22, 2010 11:39 AM

I am facing a huge one on thursday at 3:30 pm! I won't tell you what it is for fear of sounding like a dummy...but I am gonna do it dammit!!

Posted by: Amy at February 22, 2010 12:11 PM

I fear my daughter dying before she grows up, or just in general going out into a world that will kill her innocence. Even in some of our happiest moments, I feel a twinge of regret that she won't always be so sweet, which is really a shame. I should learn to just enjoy the moment, dammit!

When I was in college, I deeply feared performing in public. So I took voice lessons where I had to sing in a master class every few weeks. Oh, it was so hard at first; I would be shaking and hyperventilating while waiting for my turn, which of course didn't make for a great performance when I finally took the stage. But, after a while (though I still don't love performing), I stopped fearing it because I had gotten through so many of those moments. I even became confident in it.

Posted by: Laura at February 22, 2010 3:46 PM

I actually have a lot of fears - a few weeks ago, I got on a plane (AND I HATE THAT) - but I don't have to do that often.

I think mostly I have this fear, after working from home for four years, that nothing I do will translate into finding a job that transitions me back into the "real world" work atmosphere. I'm grateful to not have a big hole on my resume -- but I really feel like there are a lot of incredibly talented people out there that I won't stack up against. And while I know I have a lot to offer any employer, it's this helpless shitty feeling, nonetheless.

Posted by: sarah at February 22, 2010 6:35 PM

Swimming. My mother hated the water. I'm the only daughter that never fully took too swimming and the water. I doggy paddle and could never get over my fear to learn how to swim completely across the pool. I keep telling myself one of these days I will learn simply because I feel like the awful Mom that doesn't swim with her child.

Posted by: One Mom's Opinion at February 22, 2010 7:44 PM

Mia looks like a natural!

As for fears, I lost my job in late 2006 after working there for 25 yrs (the company was sold). Now, my current job, which I love, is ending 3/31, and I'm not yet sure whether the new contractor is planning to employ me. I don't wanna jump through these hoops again! It sucks! So apparently losing my job is the fear I face the most.

Posted by: coolchick at February 22, 2010 9:41 PM

I guess that is another kid you cloned out of that shot on the left? :)

Posted by: jacqueline at February 23, 2010 12:12 AM

When I was 11, my friend decided to hold her birthday party at the roller rink.

I'd never been roller skating, but I wanted to go.

My mom said, "No, you're too clumsy. You'll break an arm."

I begged. "No, you're too clumsy. You'll break an arm."

I cried. "No, you're too clumsy. You'll break an arm."

I whined. "No, you're too clumsy. You'll break an arm."

I pouted. "No, you're too clumsy. You'll break an arm."

I enlisted my father to plead my case. He finally talked my mother into allowing me to go, as long as he went along and kept an eye on me (how this was going to mitigate my alleged clumsiness, I still don't understand, but whatever.)

I went. I broke both arms.

Can you imagine being my father and having to make that phone call? I think I would have dropped me off at the E.R. and headed for Mexico.

Posted by: Elise at February 23, 2010 1:11 PM

I am struggling with the issue of putting myself "out there" and proving myself. I'd really rather just be a hermit.

Posted by: Jen R. (emeraldsunshine.org) at February 23, 2010 3:23 PM

Like you, I hate to fail. I love learning new things, but not in a public way - say, at a job - because what if I fail? I'm a quick study and I hardly ever bomb at anything (math excluded), but still, I get nervy about New Things.

Posted by: Brooke at February 24, 2010 7:53 PM