March 23, 2010

Karma - It's A Bitch

I've established that I have a cold-turned-sinus infection courtesy of Owen's cold-turned-ear infection. The boys of the Cactus clan are in bad shape this week. So bad that, after I'd had to stop eating Chinese takeout because my throat hurt so bad and I'd accidentally kicked an Ottoman and interpreting these as signs from the universe, I figured it was time to bite the bullet and go to the doctor.

Mia was up during the night so whilst Beth battled Owen in our room, I took Mia into the guest room with me and we collapsed, tossing and turning together. When she and I awoke, Beth and Owen were on their way to the doctor. I called and booked my appointment, got Mia dressed and fed, and welcomed Owen and his new-found ear infection home.

And then I went to the doctor.

My initial diagnosis was pretty straightforward. I had a bad, bad cold and the beginnings of a sinus infection easily headed off with antibiotics. And then I opened my mouth and while I'm here, my toe really hurts so could you take a look at it came out of my mouth. What's wrong with it was the question posed in response. I kicked an ottoman last night by accident and it's kinda purple and hurts. She took a seat and began squeezing various parts of my foot. Does this hurt she asked to which I said fuck! to which she said so I'll take that as a yes to which I replied uh, yeah, sorry. She responded with a laugh that let me and my bad language off the hook then said your toe is totally broken, you need some tape and an x-ray. You're kidding I said. She wasn't.

I feel like Lloyd Dobler with boombox except instead of hoisting said boombox to win the affection of Diane Court, I'm trying to appeal to the universe. World, way to kick a guy when he's down. I have no idea but if what goes around does actually come around, then whatever it was I did has certainly come back to bite me in the ass this week. I'd like to publicly call a truce, a cease-fire in this rather public and painful airing of grievances. I will limp, sneezing and coughing into my corner, if you agree to enter yours. I realize such a detente can't last forever but I'd like to give it a shot.

In the spirit of a glass is half full mentality, I would like to think that I accomplished something. I reached the age of 37 before breaking a bone. And I guess I should feel pretty okay with the fact that it was just my toe.

Ever broken a bone? How old were you?

Posted by Chris at March 23, 2010 8:00 AM

Yep, and it was my toe, too. I was 34(35?), walked into a dark closet while half awake one morning, and stubbed my toe hard on my bowling ball bag. And for a broken toe? Little they can do for it besides telling you to take ibuprofen for the pain and to stop kicking bowling balls.

Posted by: J at March 23, 2010 8:28 AM

I once broke the knuckle of my little finger. It was during college, so I was probably 19 or 20. We lived on a farm and I was breaking the ice on the horse tank with a sledgehammer and got my finger caught between the hammer handle and the edge of the tank.

Posted by: Average Jane at March 23, 2010 8:35 AM

I broke my pinky toe when I was pregnant with my first born. And I mean very pregnant! I whacked it pretty good trying to roll out of bed in the middle of the night to go pee.

Also, fractured one my hands about 4 years after that when my son accidently tripped me and I broke my fall the wrong way. Had to get a cast and some physical therapy afterwards. Come to think of it, I was pregnant then too. But only by a few weeks.

I think pregnancy is detrimental to my balance and dangerous for my health. Hmmmm.

Posted by: varinia at March 23, 2010 8:38 AM

ha! that's terrible. funny, but terrible. hope you feel better soon :)

Posted by: carmen at March 23, 2010 8:39 AM

I haven't broken a bone. I do believe in karma and that what goes around, etc...

I believe that when I forced the airline to bump someone else so I could get a flight to DC (after mine was canceled so really I didn't start this mess) so that I could make my meetings, that my losing a toenail (and I have no idea how except walking TOO much with ill fitting (and wet) shoes caused a blister) was retribution from karmic forces. I'm trying to be really nice this week.

Posted by: daisy at March 23, 2010 8:39 AM

Yep, I was 22. I was running for the phone after being awakened from a sound sleep by the ringing. I caught the pinky toe on the door frame and bent it to a right angle. Broken toe and fractured foot bone. I was working in the library and had to stand in a taped circle on the floor to keep my foot away from rolling carts and bookdrops. Broken toes suck.

So sorry you feel like crap. I'm glad you didn't get all macho and avoid the doctor's office!

Posted by: Christy at March 23, 2010 8:42 AM

Somehow, I've reached the age of ... almost 30 ... without breaking a bone. It's a miracle since I find new ways to injure myself all the time.

Posted by: Fraulein N at March 23, 2010 8:57 AM

Yes I believe I did when I was 28. It was at Santa Cruz, we were drinking crazy juice (alcohol poured in a big cooler with juice I think). Anyway, we were playing football and my big toe accidently connected with someone's shin and I went down in a heap. Ice was to cold to keep on it so carried on. Years later between that and years of aerobics I had to get the joint replaced. I now have a bionic big toe!

More recently, I started to trip over shoes in the kitchen and to avoid crashing through the screen I went sideways and the 3rd and 4th toes on the same foot haven't been the same since. I think they were seriously damaged.

Posted by: NancyJ at March 23, 2010 9:14 AM

So sorry you are having such a bad week!

I've been luck enough to make it to the ripe old age of 42 without breaking any bones. No, instead I've dislocated a shoulder, have had numerous stitches in my face (my upper lip to be exact - once when I was like 3 or 4 - I fell off my trike and split my lip, literally - and once when I was 12 or 13 - playing with the dogs, one bit me - I think it was an accident, but my mom got rid of that dog within in an hour of bringing me home from the hospital. It was a sad day!) and countless bruises - I see the edge of the bed and a bruise immediately forms on my thigh.

Hope you and Owen feel better soon!!

Posted by: cyndy at March 23, 2010 9:21 AM

Feel better soon, my friend. I think I was 32 when I broke my leg. It is a pain I will never, ever forget, watching it flop around sans tension in the tendons and willing it with all my might to JUST STAY STILL! Now, I am bionic woman with rods and bolts and badass scars to go with it.

Posted by: k8 at March 23, 2010 9:22 AM

Just to clarify...the dog was sent to the SPCA. My mother didn't want the dog to hurt me or my younger sister - he probably didn't mean to bite me, but he had shown aggression before. I realize I said my mom 'got rid of the dog' and it sounded very ominous.

Posted by: cyndy at March 23, 2010 9:24 AM

I broke my first bone in the second grade. I did a cartwhell off a chair onto the floor and fractured my wrist. In seventh grade I dislocated my knee cap and tore a bunch of stuff up in there when I landed wrong on some mats after doing some flip-flops. I also had 'turf toe,' which I believe is some form of dislocation or breakage, after my big toe caught on a mat while the rest of my body continued spinning in a circle. After that I decided enough was enough and quit gymnastics.

Posted by: Ashley K at March 23, 2010 9:25 AM

People say cheerleading isn't a sport, well I could argue with you on that one. While I was a high school cheerleader, during my sophmore year, I fell from a stunt while practicing right before a pep rally and broke my wrist. As I sit there crying that it hurt, my coach just kept yanking on it saying it was just jammed and to get out there and perform. We performed (and were pretty awesome!) but as I was out there the pain just got worse and I ran off the floor crying in pain and my coach finally admitted it might be broken. I managed to drive home and my Dad took me to the ER where they confirmed the break and gave me a cast for a month. My coach did feel kinda bad. And then my junior year, (I know you are on the edge of your seat!) this time while warming up before a night basketball game, we were practicing a basket toss, where 2 girls throw me up in the air, I touch my toes and then they catch me, well one girl threw much harder than the other and instead of going straight up, I went sideways and there was no one to catch me, I tried to break my fall with my arm, well your body weight is too much for a skinny arm. I dislocated my elbow and broke my upper arm. It apparently looked pretty nasty, I was in more pain than I could ever imagine and I couldn't move because the upper part of my arm was completely separated from the lower part of my arm. So they had to call an ambulance and I had to be taken out on a stretcher in front of the whole school. I was the talk of the ER in my cheerleading uniform. Getting it popped back in was pretty intense, especially because the bone in my upper arm was broken. I had a half cast that went all the way to my shoulder. They couldn't put a full cast because of the swelling from the dislocation. I tore all of the muscles and tendons in my arm. Talk about a bruise! When I went for a check up, they could take the cast off and on because of it only being a half cast, and almost my entire arm was black, blue and purple, it actually made me sick to my stomach! That was a looooong healing process, with physical therapy and all. But I did make it through my senior year injury free! And have had no broken bones since but my youngest daughter broke her elbow when she was two, at the playground! Phew! Sorry for the long comment!

Posted by: Tracy H at March 23, 2010 9:37 AM

Yep. Both big toes when I was in middle school. Separate instances. First one getting out of bed (really). Other one walking down the hall and stumped it.

Long legs + puberty + growth spurt = suck.

Had to wear a wooden soled shoe for weeks and clopped down the halls like a clydesdale. Zexy!

The toes healed and I forgave them and came to like my long legs. :)

Posted by: Pammer at March 23, 2010 9:48 AM

Sick kids = sick parent(s). It's a law of nature. And you'll have these fun times until both of their immune systems mature - sometime in middle school. :)

First broken bone was three fingers at once! I was 18. Fun times. A year later I broke the middle finger of the same hand. That was fun - having it splinted and wrapped. I had the pleasure of giving everyone the bird and damn good excuse for doing so. ;)

Posted by: Theresa at March 23, 2010 9:57 AM

Let's see, first foot broken in 5th grade. Several fingers broken along the way, and second foot broken at age 30 when I leapt out of bed in the middle of the night to break up a cat fight at the foot of my bed. Yeah, that was a bitch!
Two years ago I tore my meniscus and that is no day in the park either.
My condolances, Sweetie. Get well soon!

Posted by: Maribeth at March 23, 2010 10:03 AM

broke my wrist (tripped over the front leg of a dog running behind me) 3 days before easter vacation in a place that required one of those bent-elbow casts up to almost the armpit...we were going to florida i was maybe 12...then... 3 weeks before my wedding (3rd)...i fell down the stairs and the ONLY thing i broke was my big toe in 3 places (who knew there were 3 places to break on a big toe?)... so the cast/shoe was my "something blue" oh and i was 49!!! dang thing is like way crooked now and hurts when it rains (now that i am approaching 58)

Posted by: theunicorn at March 23, 2010 10:14 AM

I broke my middle finger on my left hand at my 8th grade year-end party, playing kickball. I went to tag someone, and she, well, she ran into my finger. I heard the crunch. It was gross :P
Of course, my mum, being a nurse, didn't believe me that it was broken. Not until three days later, when it was still swollen to three times its normal size. She finally took me for an X-ray and it turned out I needed surgery and pins and the whole nine yards. And I had my middle finger in a splint all summer, so *that* was fun ;)

Posted by: Heather at March 23, 2010 10:28 AM

I've never broken a bone. I hope to never break one, but we'll see. If I do, it will be from kicking something. Probably intentionally.

Posted by: Sarah at March 23, 2010 10:33 AM

Yep! I was 34! It was just last April.

I got out of the Army with no massive injuries to show for it and then broke my foot in two places whilst going to get the mail.

The technical name is the 5th metatarsal. :)

Posted by: Holly Reynolds at March 23, 2010 10:38 AM

hi Chris, I hope you feel better really soon!
And I really hope the ottoman doesn't kick you again. ^#%&%ing ottoman.

Posted by: jessica at March 23, 2010 10:43 AM

Wow, you are in rough shape bud! Feel better soon!

I've yet to "officially" break a bone but I'm fairly certain I broke my pinkie toe a few years ago after taking a nasty fall and jackin up both ankles b/c I'm talented like that.

Posted by: Kris at March 23, 2010 10:45 AM

Broken four bones and I am 35. 3 have good stories but one not so much…

Broken Bone 1 - My collar bone in High school (I was 15or 16). We were in a rugby match against the men's team in our town. My coach told my dad afterwards "I didn't know he could swear that much!". Lets just say it hurt. But the team did go on to win the second half of the game (we lost overall). Did get a week off school though.

Broken Bone 2 - My foot - In college (I was 19 at the time) - Fell of a 60 foot sea cliff by Slains Castle ( To get out I then had to swim 100 yards in the North Sea (think freezing cold!), clamber up a very steep grass bank, walk 2/3 miles back to the car then drive (a manual transmission) the "borrowed" (He knew we had it but as he said if the cops stopped us "Your on your own") car back to Aberdeen (15/20 miles) as I was the only one with a valid license. Went straight to the pub first but woke up the next morning and realized it was probably broken and headed to the hospital. I was in crutches for 4 weeks.

Broken Bone 3 - 2 ribs - I slipped on the hill in front of the house as I was late for work. They cant do much for broken ribs apart from giving you Advil. And yes it does hurt a lot if you laugh...

Broken Bone(s) 4 - My foot and ankle. And I tore the ligaments - This happened just before Christmas last year. Took me nearly 3 months to recover from. I was taking a Tae Kwon Do class with my 5 year old (Both my wife and I and also my son take classes) when I landed one of my kicks wrong and rolled my ankle. I had all my weight on it so I managed to hurt it fairly badly. Luckily I didn't need surgery and just had to hobble around in crutches for 2+ months. Wasn’t fun in all the snow we had that’s for sure..

Posted by: Steven at March 23, 2010 10:54 AM

Poor you. I hope your toe heals quickly and the cold/infection leaves.

I fell down a flight of stairs (sober) in 1965 and landed on my left wrist. Not good for wrists. Bad break to the wrist, dislocated elbow and shoulder. I had pins in my arm and a shoulder to wrist cast for six weeks. That arm still acts up from time to time and the wrist flexibility never came back completely.

Posted by: Ann Elizabeth Adams at March 23, 2010 11:18 AM

8th grade. Broke the end of my ulna at my wrist in a freak pole vaulting mishap while trying to go over 9 feet. It would have been my highest vault to date. It ended my pole vaulting career.

Posted by: Rex at March 23, 2010 11:24 AM

My first question is: why is it so hard for men to go to the doctor?

2nd, I have never broken a bone.

But I am from the generation of kids whose parents owned the damn wood and glass sharp edge coffee tables. I have a scar on my forehead from stitches.

Is that the same as breaking a bone?

Hope the world is all good for you soon. Best of luck to you.

Posted by: SoccerMom at March 23, 2010 11:38 AM

I broken my big toe by dropping a 5 pound weight on it at the gym. All they can do is tape it to the one next to it.

I have to wonder though, if she was so sure it was broken, why would they need an x-ray? Oh yeah, because that's how they make money.

Posted by: Jon (was) in Michigan at March 23, 2010 11:54 AM

I broke the same toe on my right foot twice (the one next to the big one), at the age of 20. I caught it walking through a door (I have big feet, what can I say), and it healed wonky. Six months later, I did the exact same thing (feet still big), but when it healed it corrected itself. Now it's good as new. Except that I can't crack it anymore, and really, it's not exactly an essential function.

Posted by: Kelly at March 23, 2010 11:55 AM

Dude, sorry! But i love the ...Say Anything reference. One of my favorite mocies EVAH.

I broke a toe when I was in grade school, chasing the dog around the kitchen and kicking a chair. I also fractured my wrist when I was ten. I fell while roller skating. That's all I got. No glorious tales of traction here.

Posted by: Brooke at March 23, 2010 12:16 PM


Posted by: Brooke at March 23, 2010 12:17 PM

Oh no, sorry about all the doctor-requiring circumstances lately. Feel better soon!! (Yes, that IS an order)

No broken bones here. In fact there was only one broken bones in my family of seven kids (my sister fell out of a tree and broke her arm) and that's pretty amazing!

Posted by: Jess at March 23, 2010 12:53 PM

I fell out of a treehouse at age 7, landed on my left shoulder and broke off the ball of my arm bone. The doctors set it and I was in a cast from my waist to my wrist with my arm straight up - this lasted for a day until the doctors decided it wouldn't work. They took me back to surgery and re-set the bone with a 5" pin to hold everything in place. But the pin was temporary and about 1/2" of it was sticking out of my shoulder so I got to miss 6 weeks of school! I have the pin in a shadowbox that I pull out occasionally when I want to impress people.
I also cracked a bone in my other arm while in my early 30s and have broken assorted toes over the years (I run into furniture too).

Posted by: Mary at March 23, 2010 1:22 PM

Broken toes HURT like a ....
I broke one about 4 years ago the day I was supposed to leave for business meetings in Atlantic City! So basically I had to wear slide on wide toed shoes with business suits. Not exactly a fashion statement. :( By the end of the week my legs were killing me because (as I'm sure you'll soon realize) when you walk with a broken toe you shift your weight differently and you'll have achy muscles in your legs that you didn't even realize you had! I hope you feel better soon Chris!

Posted by: Rose Winters at March 23, 2010 1:31 PM

I have decided to not enrage (further) the Cosmos by not divulging whether or not I have, to date, broken a bone, as to do so would surely jinx me and... Dammit!

Also, had to Google Lloyd Dobler and now I have to watch a throw-back movie.

Also, maybe it's not something you did, but something YOU will receive payback for - in positive form! How's THAT for glass half full?

Posted by: harmzie at March 23, 2010 1:37 PM

Ouch, for the toe and sorry the Cactus clan is so sick.

Broke my arm playing co-ed volleyball when I was in my very early 20s. I was in the military and an officer ran me over to get to the ball ignoring that I had called that I had it covered.

Posted by: One Mom's Opinion at March 23, 2010 1:44 PM

Get well soon Chris. Having a cold is no fun unless you are a sadist. Now about broken bones,
mine started when I was 18 months old and fell out of my high chair and broke my collar bone. Then in my 20's during the 60's and 70's I fell and broke my feet/legs 4 times due to falling off of platform shoes. As I got older I fell and broke my back one winter and about 4 summers ago I fell off my deck and broke my humerous bone and had to have surgery with pins and everything. I am now afraid of falling..LOL well I think that is all. Stay safe and warm and get well!! We miss you and your sense of humor.

Posted by: Trish at March 23, 2010 1:52 PM

Officially, no, I've never broken a bone. I suspect I might have suffered from two hairline fractures though; both on my right hand. My pinky, and my index finger.

I never got them x-rayed or talked to a doctor. I taped my pinky to my ring finger when I injured that one for a week, and my index finger got a tape-and-popsicle-stick splint for 2 weeks.

I didn't see the point in seeing a doctor, cause an x-ray would have been a waste of money and they would have just taped my fingers the same way.

Posted by: Katie at March 23, 2010 2:36 PM

I dislocated a toe once. It was snapped back into place by an army medic who was at the party. After all the crying and swearing, he admitted that the army isn't big on pain management. I still wince when I remember it!

Posted by: Hope at March 23, 2010 3:00 PM

I actually broke a toe while I was on bedrest during my first pregancy (I was 24 at the time). Try explaining THAT one to the OB that put you on bedrest!

Actually...I really was minding my doctor. I was walking into the bathroom (the only reason I was allowed to be out of bed) and reading a book at the same time (a REALLY bad habit of mine...walking and reading) and accidentally kicked the door frame and broke my little toe. OUCH! I feel your pain.

I have since broken various toes on several occassions...usually because I am walking and reading. You would think I would learn...

Posted by: Kris H. at March 23, 2010 4:24 PM

I was a junior in high school. I was just starting to break free of the horribly shy person that I had been most of my life, and had taken up flirting with one of the guys, (let's call him Phil) in my Chemistry class. Phil also happened to be a ski instructor. So of course I HAD TO SIGN UP TO SKI...right? And so, with his promise to teach me to ski, I joined the club, bought a crazy amount of ski stuff (spending most of my savings at the time) and headed out to ski.

I practiced a bit on a small hill and once I felt comfortable enough, I headed up the chair lift to the top of one of the hills. On my first run I hit the side of a mogul and landed on my left wrist. I then took off my skis, tucked them under my right arm along with my poles, and I walked down the rest of the way. I am quite certain I looked as ridiculous as I felt, but there was no way I was getting back on those damn skis.

My mom was a nurse at the time, and was working the night shift at the hospital. Phil had to take me to the hospital and hand me over to mom - broken. He did not seem very thrilled with this. And, I am quite certain that right there nixed any chance of scoring a real date with him.

I ended up in a cast for the rest of the winter, but because I had paid so much money for the ski clothes and equipment, I still went every Friday. With a broken arm. Because I am nothing if not cool.

Posted by: Charlise at March 23, 2010 5:16 PM

After 11 hours of sleep (obviously, I don't have kids) I awoke with a headache. Said headache was not cured with advil, but I let an 8 year-old perform Reiki on me, and it worked. Strange? Yes. Just so you know, Reiki is not inappropriate. She just touched my head.

Posted by: Heather at March 23, 2010 5:38 PM

I'll be 26 next month and I've never broken a bone. If I break one tonight, I'm coming after you.

Posted by: Stephanie at March 23, 2010 5:54 PM

I broke a toe last year at age 39. It doesn't sound like it got as smashed up as yours, though. I never went to the doctor because I went on vacation the day after it happened. I just wore stretched-out shoes and popped ibuprofen as much as I dared.

I don't think it's so much karma trying to get you as the universe saying, "You've been blogging about an awful lot of overtime lately -- slow the fuck down already!"

Posted by: Kat at March 23, 2010 7:00 PM

I hope the Cactus-Fish family is on the mend soon.

As for broken bones--my arm 2x (12 & 12 1/2); my ankle (30); my wrist (35). It sucks! So not fun. Happy hobbling! :-)

Posted by: Krush at March 23, 2010 7:15 PM

I may or may not have once walked into a wall once and as a result I may or may not have broken my pinky toe.

Posted by: Rougeneck at March 23, 2010 7:40 PM

i'm always surprised when i hear of adults who have never broken a bone. i had eight casts, three dislocations and 1 surgery before i was 22. and all were legit injuries from sports (soccer, hockey) and from growing up the youngest of 4 on a farm... like the time i over jumped the landing mat in grade 6 high jump and broke my foot, or the time my oldest brother convinced me to jump off the roof of the garage when i was 7. i broke my right arm that time.

good thing i'm canadian, i guess.

Posted by: adrienne at March 23, 2010 8:09 PM

I flipped over the arm of a recliner at age 3 & broke my wrist...I do actually remember going to get the cast. Hope you are all healed soon!

Posted by: Jane in Pa at March 24, 2010 12:23 AM

I think I must have really strong bones, I've never broken any, but I've had stitches 5 times, sprained my ankle three times and I once managed to get my arm smashed in a box crusher without breaking anything.

Posted by: Steph at March 24, 2010 12:27 AM

Sorry you are having a rough week! Really hope that things start looking up for you soon! I managed to make it to about 12 years of age before I broke anything. I broke my wrist at that age (was running and put my arms out to stop myself from falling). Fast foward to my mid teens and I was an avid horse rider, took a bad fall and managed to crack several ribs. I have since managed to repeat that injury at least twice (one of which was induced by our cat). Also managed to dislocate my tailbone (not the cat incident, but not fun, btw) in one of those incidents. In my early to mid 20's I was very involved in martial arts and went just after our provincial competition, I developed a stress fracture in my foot. I still went on to compete in the nationals with said fracture (yes, I was an idiot) and spent the next couple of weeks in a cast for it. A couple of other injuries of note, but thankfully no broken bones in the last 2 or 3 years (touch wood). My hubby, however, still holds the record in this house for the most bones broken in one shot. He was born with a chest deformity (his breastbone stood on its side instead of laying flat) and at age 14, they decided to operate to correct it. They had to break every single rib bone and reconstruct the rib cage. He hasn't broken a bone since then though :-)

Posted by: Delia at March 24, 2010 3:21 AM

Fractured a toe when I was 18. That was painful enough so can't imagine what a break is like. Hope you feel better soon.

Posted by: Katherine at March 24, 2010 4:03 AM

No bone breaking here yet, and tomorrow I turn 39 so I have a few years on you. I have had a sinus infection before, and those things HURT.

Our house has been a petri dish it seems, while we all had the flu from hell roar through and then a nasty cold that we're still all recovering from. I hope you guys all recover quickly. Including your toe!

Posted by: Scatteredmom at March 24, 2010 10:31 PM

Oh geez that sucks. Hope you're feeling better.

Posted by: Nat at March 25, 2010 11:27 AM

I broke my leg when I was five. I was climbing across the monkey bars on my swingset, and slid down a rope that I had tied around one of the bars. Surprisingly (note sarcasm here) the rope wasn't tied very well, it came undone and I came crashing to the ground. I had a cast from hip to toe and got my crutches taken away frequently in 1st grade because I kept hitting people with them. Geesh...I had anger issues even then! :) Good luck with your toe! (broken one of those too...terribly painful)

Posted by: jenn at April 12, 2010 10:34 PM

Quelqu'un peut-il me dire comment obtenir les avatars peu à montrer dans ma section des commentaires? merci!asdfghfasd

Posted by: Lancel at November 18, 2011 4:47 AM