April 2, 2010

The Weeklies #126

The Weekly Beer. Smuttynose Pale Ale.

The Weekly Technological Development. The iPad. It hits stores tomorrow. Panic shall ensue.

The Weekly Read. I think yesterday's discussion of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo was quite sufficient, don't you?

The Weekly Music. I'm sure I've talked about him before but Robyn Hitchcock is truly a quirky, eccentric musical genius. He's often said that whenever he records an album with a band, it turns into a Beatles album. And it's true. But that's not at all a bad thing. Goodnight Oslo is a perfect example. Recorded with his band The Venus 3 (consisting of REM members), the album is so much fun to listen to that it is almost instantly addictive. And of course Hitchcock's odd delivery and eccentric lyrics only add to the fun.

The Weekly Time Waster. Jetpack Jackass.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. Why is it that when anyone gets busted for doing anything deviant, they go to rehab. Jesse James is the latest. He banged so many people whilst married, he went into rehab for sex addiction. I'm not defending him. He's a jackass. But can't someone have no moral compass and a love of fucking? Must we develop a label and diagnosis for everything?

The Weekly Question From Mia. If you had to get turned into an animal by magic, what animal would you want to be?

Posted by Chris at April 2, 2010 8:39 AM
Comments

I would be a pampered kitty. My cat knows exactly who runs the house. He does without even having to miaow.

Posted by: Ann Elizabeth Adams at April 2, 2010 8:55 AM

Dear Mia~I think I would like to be a giraffe. I would be so much taller than all the other animals around me, I could see for miles and miles, and I would be close to the sun. I hope you and Owen gets lots of candy from the Easter Bunny!!!!

Posted by: Dawn at April 2, 2010 8:57 AM

Hah, I was gonna say pampered housecat too! Man, that is the life.

Posted by: Fraulein N at April 2, 2010 9:08 AM

I would be a pegacorn, part pegasus and part unicorn.

Posted by: blepharisma at April 2, 2010 9:46 AM

Mia, I would be a dog. To live life that fully, and to know pure joy from chasing a stick and getting a belly rub is just too tempting to pass up.

Posted by: metawizard at April 2, 2010 9:55 AM

It is also a horrible reflection on the institutions that take these people in as "sex addicts" and "treat" them. Some people really DO have sex addiction. And this is no way to teach the public what that really means.

I want to be able to fly, but I also want to be badass. So Pterydactl it is.

Posted by: k8 at April 2, 2010 10:03 AM

I would be a dung beetle from the African Savanna. Just think of the millions of animals on the savanna. Dung beetles clean it up, recycle it actually. Plus I would be made into a beautiful piece of jewerly called a Scarab.Yeah me!!!!!

Posted by: joss is boss at April 2, 2010 10:41 AM

I would be a dung beetle from the African Savanna. Just think of the millions of animals on the savanna. Dung beetles clean it up, recycle it actually. Plus I would be made into a beautiful piece of jewerly called a Scarab.Yeah me!!!!!

Posted by: joss is boss at April 2, 2010 10:42 AM

A flying dinosaur would be cool.

Posted by: Brad at April 2, 2010 10:49 AM

Dear Mia,
You know how much I love my dackels (dachshund dogs)so I think I would become a Mama Dackel! I would have many, many baby dackels and run in the grass and lie in the warm sunshine playing with my toys and my babies!

Posted by: Maribeth at April 2, 2010 10:55 AM

When I was a little girl, I always wanted to have a unicorn because they were so cool and they were my friends when I went out to play in the secret garden of my castle. Now that I'm a grown up girl, I would be a unicorn so that I could make other little girls' dreams come true.

Posted by: bacioni at April 2, 2010 10:57 AM

Totally agree on the Jesse James and the rehab thing - and I coulda called that one from the get-go that he'd be carting himself off to rehab. I don't really know his deal but someone got pretty pissed at me the other day for questioning the sex addiction thing, saying it is indeed very real. That may be so. But, y'know, sometimes it's not an addiction but a personality trait.

And tell Miss Mia that I think I would like to be.... a horse. Horses are strong and fast and have ponytails EVERY DAY :)

Posted by: Sarah at April 2, 2010 11:29 AM

Two words: My. Dog. Life is good when you're my dog. I think I could love that.

Posted by: Brooke at April 2, 2010 12:24 PM

Miss Mia,
If I was turned into an animal by magic, I believe that I would like to be a big fluffy kitty who gets to sleep and purr and be petted all the time. I would also like to be a spunky little doggy who likes to run and chase squirrels and sleep on a big fluffy pillow (just like my dog Willie!)

I hope your family is feeling better again!
Your friend,
Amy


I feel icky putting this anywhere near a note to Mia, but here goes:
Yes, you can be a perv and it's okay (on one level) to do so, but when you totally humiliate your wife, no matter if she's a famous actress or not, by repeatedly banging skeevy porn stars and tat models and hookers, ya might have a serious problem that needs to be looked into.

Posted by: zanie at April 2, 2010 12:32 PM

Lack of accountability. It's much easier to whine and say "but it's noooooottttttt myyyyyyyyyyyyy faaaauuuuullllt. I'm ADDICTED! It's an ILLNEEEEEESSSSSS!" rather than "I'm a complete and total douche bag who can't keep it in my pants - I'm s superstar and entitled to do whatever I want - and the only thing I'm sorry about is getting caught!" Which is what both he, Tiger, and numerous others should be saying!

Dear, Mia. I would want to be a tropical bird in a warm climate, where I could fly around, see monkeys and other cool animals, eat yummy fruit, and do lots and lots of flying!

Posted by: Mindy at April 2, 2010 12:37 PM

I think I would want to be a beautiful, majestic tiger. Imagine that life, sleeping under a shaded tree, rolling in dirt, frolicking in water, and of course all the red meat I can eat. (sorry Cactus family)

Posted by: Christine at April 2, 2010 1:14 PM

I think I would want to be a beautiful, majestic tiger. Imagine that life, sleeping under a shaded tree, rolling in dirt, frolicking in water, and of course all the red meat I can eat. (sorry Cactus family)

Posted by: Christine at April 2, 2010 1:14 PM

I think the whole 'sex addiction' thing is a total cop out. You're either a cheating douche or you're not. Trying to say he only did it because he has some kind of condition is bogus.

Look, if the guy was horny all the time and Sandra wasn't in the mood, dude, there's the entire internet out there, and your own right hand. I'm just sayin'.

Posted by: Kevin Spencer at April 2, 2010 1:29 PM

As for Jesse James...no, he just needs an excuse. Yes, I believe it is a real thing, but not that he or Tiger actually have the addiction, just trying to save their reputation.

Mia, I would want to be my dog. She has more toys than most kids, she lays around all day in the sun, and she gets treats on a daily, if not hourly, basis.

Posted by: Krush at April 2, 2010 2:56 PM

I'm having a beer gathering in NYC in a few weeks. I can't wait.

Hi, Mia! A lion. :)

Posted by: Poppy at April 2, 2010 6:22 PM

Ok, the 'he's just looking for an excuse' angle is well covered.

So in the interests of being thorough, what if you were married to someone totally gorgeous and extremely talented who had to spend months at a time away from you for work. And you felt a compulsion for exciting, risky sex that you just didn't know how to handle, except to indulge it.

And when you got found out, you felt stupid and ashamed, but you didn't know how to face the torture of being without it. Then imagine that when you tried to get help in the vain hope that you might be able to keep your marriage, the media had a field day.

I have no idea what's really going on with him. Being married to Sandra Bullock would be enough for me, but I'm not him. But that doesn't really matter, cause it's not my life anyway.

And Mia, I would love to be a dolphin - swimming and jumping with my friends all day, somewhere tropical and warm :)

Posted by: Jo MacD at April 2, 2010 6:41 PM

So, is he getting advice on how to suck up to his wife so she doesn't kick his ass out? How not to get caught? Or is it on how to get the most out of your richer-than-you wife?

Just asking...

Posted by: Nat at April 2, 2010 7:38 PM

I would want to be a bird that way I could get places without having to drive. I am sure my 45 minute commute to work would be cut WAY down! Also, who doesn't love the view you usually only get from the tiny airplane window?

Posted by: Ashley K at April 2, 2010 7:53 PM

I would want to be a bird that way I could get places without having to drive. I am sure my 45 minute commute to work would be cut WAY down! Also, who doesn't love the view you usually only get from the tiny airplane window?

Posted by: Ashley K at April 2, 2010 7:53 PM

a sea otter. for sure :)

Posted by: kati at April 2, 2010 8:43 PM

I thought it might be fun to be a dolphin, or a wild mustang. :)

Posted by: Heather at April 2, 2010 9:45 PM

I would be a butterfly. They are beautiful and colourful and I would get to fly around.

Posted by: Adi at April 2, 2010 11:22 PM

Ugh, Jesse James (and Tiger, for that matter)...my opinion of the situation is this, first, it really ain't any of our business...this daily 'news' report of the breakdown of these marriages is just the worst kind of voyeurism to me. It makes me sick for the two wives involved. Second, excuses. That's all this rehab stuff is, an excuse - oh, poor me, I'm so sorry, see, I have an addiction, it's really not my fault exactly, it's a sickness. Oh B-S! You had the balls to cheat on your wife, have the balls to admit you f-ed up! Third, these 'women' parading around feeling scorned because they weren't the only one the scum cheated on his wife with?? And accepting money to tell their story (or not to?). And then suggesting they would like to speak with the wife??? Oh please, go away. Sick!

Just because I think we shouldn't be watching doesn't mean I don't have something to say about it! ;-)

And Mia, I would love to be a Pegasus!

Posted by: cyndy at April 3, 2010 7:57 AM

can i say what a cool name smuttynose pale ale is!!!! lol

Posted by: ed at April 3, 2010 8:53 AM

I'd want to be my dog. Not just any dog, but my spoiled rotten doggy.... LOL!

Posted by: Rose @Dozenroses13 at April 3, 2010 5:34 PM

Dear Miss Mia,

I would be a giraffe that could magically change into a sea turtle. That way I could travel by land and sea and get to explore the whole world.

Sincerely,

Lizzle

Posted by: Lizzle at April 3, 2010 6:30 PM

I am going to be a house cat in my next life, no doubt there! Humans worship you, you can sleep in the sun all day and play crazy games all night. Does it get any better then that?

Posted by: Debra at April 4, 2010 11:37 PM

Mia, I've given this a lot of thought:

Baby Ocelots:

http://zooborns.typepad.com/zooborns/ocelot/

Posted by: alektra at April 5, 2010 1:07 AM

I'd be a three toed sloth. That way I'd still be what I already am (minus a couple toes, I suppose), so I know I'd be good at it!

Posted by: jessica fantastica at April 6, 2010 2:43 AM


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