May 10, 2010

Moms Kick Ass

I feel like a hypocritical asshat. For a really long time I've chalked Mother's Day up to a Hallmark Holiday. Something designed to sell greeting cards, flowers and candy. And sure, that's part of it. I'm cynical but I bought flowers and cards. But hey, moms totally rock.

Motherhood is hard. I've never been knocked up, never had a parasite get me fat to the point at which I can't see my feet and want nothing more than pineapple and olives. I've never been required to push a pot roast through a bodily orifice nor have I been physically required to nurse said pot roast at all hours of the day and night, caving to it's every sadistic whim. I'm a guy. We get to pee standing up, fuck without physical consequences and fake-snore while we let the lady with the breasts field the midnight cries. Guys have it easy. You moms? Do not.

So we celebrated our asses off.

Owen and I woke up early and let Beth sleep for a while. Mia, giving us a preview of what it'll be like when she's 15, slept in and I finally had to get her up since I'd promised her we'd both make breakfast for Beth. She dragged her ass out of bed and we made French toast, scrambled eggs, strawberries and (fake) sausage. We lazed around the rest of the morning. Mia, Owen and I eventually changed out of jammies and headed to the store to get things for Mother's Day dinner. It was something of a nightmare. There was hitting, staunch opposition to sharing, inappropriate product grabbing (Owen did not need tampons - that kid loves tampons) and some more hitting. We got our asses out of there as quickly as we possibly could, headed home, and made lunch. Then all four of us went outside, enjoyed the day and flew a kite. Mia and I then made Beth's all-time favorite dinner - insalata caprese and fettucini alfredo. Mia is an awesome cook. I'm not so bad either (and apparently, between eggs, French toast, and noodles bathed in heavy cream and butter, I'm trying to end up with a fat wife).

I respect and appreciate doctors and policemen and firemen and soldiers and teachers but the people I most respect in this world are (or are also) moms. I love moms. Not in a MILF sort of way though maybe that too. Without moms the world would truly come to a crushing halt. Moms are the bravest, most dedicated kick-ass people who walk among us. To all you moms, thank you for being awesome.

How did you celebrate Mother's Day?

Posted by Chris at May 10, 2010 7:05 AM

I met up with my daughter and her boyfriend, and we also met his parents for the first time. (I was so nervous!). I shouldn't have been. They are terrific people and we got along really well. We had wonderful food, (I had lobster ravioli) and great talks,and it was a perfect day!
I couldn't reach my mother on the phone, but had sent a card. I'll try to call her today and then have to listen to the fact that I was 9 pounds and how she suffered! Oh well...

Posted by: Maribeth at May 10, 2010 7:47 AM

I spent 14 hours working on an Anthropology research paper.

So today, with the kids at school and the house quiet, I'm laying in bed doing absolutely nothing.

Posted by: Holly Reynolds at May 10, 2010 7:55 AM

Did you just call me fat?

Posted by: Mrs. Cactus at May 10, 2010 8:02 AM

Oh Chris, now you've done it!

I spent Mother's Day as a normal Sunday except I got to make homemade ice cream with my Mother's Day gift and went for Mexican food with my family and our favorite friends. It was a good day!

Posted by: Elizabeth at May 10, 2010 8:40 AM

Our Sunday wasn't much different than any other Sunday. My wife is not a breakfast person, so we get a pass on the whole breakfast in bed thing. We spent the afternoon at the farm, where my daughter worked with her horse and I took advantage of the fact that we were in the backwoods of Culpeper County to let my son exercise his learners permit with 45 minutes of practice on gravel roads. He has mastered driving 15-20 on little used gravel roads so I guess I'm going to have to take him on pavement, with traffic, soon. Then we grilled out for dinner and went our for ice cream for dessert.

And I called my mother - she is in GA.

Posted by: COD at May 10, 2010 8:47 AM

Just to be clear here, moms need dads too.

It's neat that it works out that way.

Posted by: K at May 10, 2010 9:57 AM

My daugter (who is 6 - 1st grade) made me a book in school called "My Mom Wears Many Hats". Each page had a blank for her to fill in and a spot for a picture. Example -Page one says My Mom has a pretty smile! I like to make her smile by __________. She filled in "being goofie" (her spelling)
My favorite page was My mom is a cook. I love it when she makes... "popcorn". Yes, I am an amazing cook. My microwave popcorn ROCKS!
My husband, brother and sister and their respective wife/husbands liked the My mom is as pretty as a .... Page. My daugher wrote "prissas". I'm sure she meant princess, but because of her deficient spelling, my family spend the majority of the day calling me a priss ass. Oh well... memories, right? :)

... and I still love my daughter.

Posted by: Kim at May 10, 2010 10:15 AM

Listening to a drunken woman sob on the phone for an hour and a half. Oh, and I got my laundry done.

Posted by: alektra at May 10, 2010 10:17 AM

Hubby made us pancakes twice over the weekend. I got my wish, no fuss, I asked for a simple day and a picnic. We ended up in Colorado Springs at a regional park that was really nice. Had a nice picnic lunch, watched my guys play frisbee and we went on a hike.

Posted by: One Mom's Opinion at May 10, 2010 10:47 AM

my kids got ambitious and made - made-from-scratch pancakes for me! The husband only helped them when they needed the griddle turned on. I was quite impressed, and they were fantastic! :)

I received homemade cards, and gifts from all three girls. (honestly the best presents they could EVER give me..)

And then we spent the rest of the day on our boat. I believe we went fishing for about 4 hours and didn't catch a thing. But it was nice. The kids had fun and so did I!

Posted by: molly at May 10, 2010 10:48 AM

I have a three month old so I celebrated my first Mother's Day as a mom. Unfortunately, Oliver did not get the memo and managed to puke all over me twice before 8:00am. So after changing myself, him, and the sheets on two beds the day could really only get better!

My awesome husband made me a delicious dinner which my awesome son mercifully slept through.

Posted by: ashley at May 10, 2010 10:57 AM

I spent the day with a fussy 11yr. old daughter. eye yi yi. An awesome 10yr old and my extended family. It was nice.

We went to welcome a new nephew (10lb.) (who was born on Friday) to the family.

Over all it was a very nice day!

Posted by: debb at May 10, 2010 11:00 AM

Thanks for such a nice post, Chris!

My Mother's Day was spent in my pajamas, watching movies, reading my book, and snuggling with my two boys. And they cleaned the house! WHOOP!

Posted by: Mindy at May 10, 2010 11:46 AM

I love that you love a non MILFy kind of way, of course.

I woke up with my kid in the house (for the first time in 2 weeks), played with his train set, ate home-made muffins, hopped in car and took small road trip to visit my parents. Spent day cuddling Felix, eating lobster and consoling my mother on the loss of her own mother a couple of weeks ago....was a very weird and emotional day.

As I got in the car for the 2hour return trip....I still felt grateful tho, grateful to have my own mother, grateful to have a healthy son and grateful that I could take it all in. Sometimes life isn't easy....but it's still a wonderful adventure that I wouldn't want to miss.

Your day spoiling Beth sounds great.

Posted by: Natalie at May 10, 2010 1:27 PM

With the help of our 10-month-old twins, I epically failed at making a Mom's Day gift for my wife (who is also a doctor [with a fireman fetish]); but then we made a day of doing, as a family, boring things that she likes. We went to the Farmer's Market and the Asian Market. (I don't actually find those things boring, but I had to pretend we were making sacrifices.) For extensive coverage of the day, visit my weblog.

Posted by: beta dad at May 10, 2010 2:08 PM

I woke up to sunshine on my face after days of grey skies. Lovely cards and gifts from my kids (including a pack of Skittles that my 2nd grader was given at school that she saved for me - WHOA). Went for a walk. Went to visit my sister. Then went to a family gathering where my daughters spent all kinds of time with my cousin's kid and my cousin's dog and they had so much fun they fell asleep within minutes of hitting the pillow last night.

It was a good day.

Posted by: Sarah at May 10, 2010 4:21 PM

i always have a hard time with mother's day, for no real reason. i feel like it amplifies all the things i criticize myself about. and i still don't recognize that it's for me. i still just think it's for MY mom. i don't know... i wish i enjoyed it more. beth's day sounds so nice :)

Posted by: kati at May 10, 2010 7:38 PM

I went to visit my mother and mil...a 2 hour drive. I also stopped in and saw my grandmother for the first time since she moved into a nursing home for alzheimer's patients. A happy/sad day.

Posted by: Lojo at May 10, 2010 9:13 PM

We relaxed. I got to sleep in, and then later we went for a hike in the sun and my teenager treated me to a coffee and raspberry lemon loaf at Starbucks. It was perfect.

And you are official my favorite Dad blogger. (grin)

Posted by: Scatteredmom at May 10, 2010 10:17 PM

Beth's favorite dinner sounds delicious!!
For Mother's Day I was in Key West with my girlfriends. They all called their kids, I called my dog. Life is good! :)

Posted by: Rose @Dozenroses13 at May 11, 2010 1:57 AM

Sounds like you done good!

I told two of my close friends that I'm pregnant...with twins! Still not at the telling everyone stage but I couldn't wait anymore and Mother's Day seemed like a good time to start spreading the news.

And then we went over and celebrated my wonderful mom.

Posted by: Diane at May 11, 2010 9:00 AM

got puked on/over/near about 6 times (I think - I lost count) after 2-3 I sent lovely husband to go buy his ipod since his current faux-pod rusts on his arm when he runs (perhaps you've seen him around town - he's the guy with the 10 year old mp3 player). Anyway, during said "field trip" I realized I couldn't meet both kids needs & the 2 year old was not eating dinner, so I sent mini me on a date with her daddy. I heard that they went to fosters, ate fries for dinner & watched a basketball game. He made it sound like the best date he's been on for quite a long time. I played on my iphone while entirely too much kids tv was played at my house. Oh & the amazing looking cupcakes that my mini me brought home from the good bakery, yeah, they were dry :( Do over? :)

Posted by: other preschool mom at May 12, 2010 7:53 PM