October 20, 2010


Yesterday morning I went to work and drank my coffee and called into conference calls and met with co-workers just like I do every day. Yesterday afternoon I found myself in the emergency room holding my sobbing son, holding him down for x-rays and sonograms, and trying to convince him that the nurses that descended upon his room weren't going to hurt him (anymore).

During the night on Monday, Owen let out a few shrieks but it wasn't clear what, if anything, those shrieks would amount to. Tuesday morning, after I'd left for work, they'd turned into full, balls-out screaming. Beth took him to the doctor who strongly encouraged a visit to the emergency room. Beth called me and I couldn't concentrate so I punted the remainder of my meetings for the day and headed to the hospital.

Over the past six months, I have become Owen's parent of choice. All bets are off when kids are sick though because invariably they want their mom. But yesterday, I was the one who could make everything alright, who couldn't leave the room, who had the ability to kiss away the tears and snuggle away the hurt.

I am so grateful for his love and for the trust he puts in me that I can hardly breathe when I think about it. I cannot stand to see him in pain. But I'm glad I'm the one who can make things okay.

Every day - any day - can turn on a dime. You can be sipping your coffee in the morning and sitting in an ER in the afternoon. Life is unpredictable. It is fragile. It is tricky. But when you're loved, hell, that makes everything alright.

Update: Owen slept at home - primarily on me - last night. Though it was a rough night, he just ate his body-weight in breakfast and, when I left for work, was running around with a huge smile on his face. Me, well, I'm going to crawl under my desk and take a nap.

Posted by Chris at October 20, 2010 7:00 AM

I'm hoping by now he's okay.

Posted by: Ann Adams at October 20, 2010 7:48 AM

Doug is Michael's parent of choice too. Always has been.

I hope Owen is ok.

Posted by: jodifur at October 20, 2010 7:57 AM

Hope Owen is better and it was nothing serious! Hugs to you all!

Posted by: Lisa at October 20, 2010 8:05 AM

I hope he is okay, it's heartbreaking to see your child in pain but the feeling that you are able to be there for thtem and make a difference is heartwarming.
Sending the Cactus-Fish family lots of good vibes!

Posted by: Nynke at October 20, 2010 8:10 AM

Oh no! I hope all is well with Owen. It is heartbreaking to see such a little person in the ER :( Thoughts and prayers coming your way...

Posted by: Iris at October 20, 2010 8:12 AM

Yes, please tell us as soon as you are all OK again! Thinking of you!

Posted by: Julie at October 20, 2010 8:13 AM

I'm among the many hoping Owen is doing better now! What a scary day.

Posted by: Jessie at October 20, 2010 8:35 AM

While I am very sorry to hear about big Owen tears, my heart melted at the fact that he looks to you to make it all better. :o)

Glad today is a happy morning in the Cactus-Fish household!

Posted by: Emily at October 20, 2010 8:36 AM

Yup, kids in hospital ranks right up there as the worst experience in the world :(

Glad to hear he is feeling better!

Posted by: Elizabeth at October 20, 2010 8:37 AM

Glad he seems to be doing so well today. I hope he continues to feel better!

Posted by: 3jaysmom at October 20, 2010 8:43 AM

That sounds really scary. I hope he's okay.

Posted by: Fraulein N at October 20, 2010 9:00 AM

Oh, that's so scary. I'm glad to hear he's doing better now.

Posted by: lemon gloria at October 20, 2010 9:59 AM

Poor Owen! Glad to hear he's doing better. Hope it was nothing and just a tummy ache. Their love is a treasure that can never be measured.

Posted by: Jean at October 20, 2010 10:24 AM

I'm glad to hear he seems to be on the upswing. I hope it isn't anything serious. I'm so glad you were able to be there for your little man when he needed you. Take it slow today and maybe treat yourself to something nice. Like a donut.

Posted by: Annie at October 20, 2010 10:50 AM

I was just coming here to tell you that you forgot to tell us about whether or not HE'S OK... and then I saw the update.
Glad to hear he seems to be on the mend. Were the doctors able to tell what the problem was?

Posted by: Amy at October 20, 2010 11:59 AM

Glad Owen is ok.

Posted by: Poppy at October 20, 2010 12:00 PM

I hope he's okay. And that you and beth are doing okay - I hate when my kiddos are sick. I can function well in the time of crisis when things are tough... Once the adrenaline is off and thekid is okay... I collapse.

Breathe deep. Take your nap.

Posted by: sarah at October 20, 2010 12:09 PM

Glad he's doing ok.. I had to take my niece to the ER when she was 2 weeks old!

Posted by: Sue R at October 20, 2010 12:28 PM

I'm glad Owen is ok, and slept in his own home, on his daddy's chest last night.

Health shit with kids, especially kids who aren't verbal enough to tell you exactly what is wrong, is the worst, most frightening, most out-of-control feeling.

Here is hoping and praying for health for the Cactus Fish family.

Posted by: Mindy at October 20, 2010 12:35 PM

Glad to see the update! Hope you're catching some zzzzs yourself :)

Posted by: Iris at October 20, 2010 12:46 PM

Hope the little man is okay. Glad he seems to be doing better this morning! :)

Posted by: Heather at October 20, 2010 1:41 PM

Glad to read he's feeling better, poor little boy.

Posted by: Katherine at October 20, 2010 1:54 PM

Oh, man, Chris! How hard for you!! I hope it's nothing serious/long term. It seems like yesterday was a day for this kind of thing. A former associate posted on FB this morning that her granddaughters had found their brother at the bottom of their pool. He was airlifted to the hospital and will be coming home tomorrow, apparently none worse for the near-drowning. I just want to punt my day and go home and hug my son and daughter. Best to you, Beth, Mia, and especially Owen.

Posted by: Brooke at October 20, 2010 2:37 PM

Glad to hear that Owen is doing ok. I hope you get to catch up soon!

Posted by: kali at October 20, 2010 3:22 PM

Poor Owen! Glad he's feeling better!

p.s. I am watching Dr Who as I speak ;)

Posted by: Jess at October 20, 2010 6:54 PM

Glad to hear Owen is at home. I hope he is feeling better soon.

Posted by: Krush at October 20, 2010 7:22 PM

Poor little guy! What was wrong? I'm glad he is at home.

Posted by: Heather at October 20, 2010 7:31 PM

So glad he's home and all sounds back to normal. Being a parent can be so draining, but so worth it all, no less. :)

Posted by: L y s h a at October 20, 2010 8:46 PM

Yikes! I hope Owen's ok - I'll be checking for an update!

Posted by: NancyJ at October 20, 2010 9:39 PM

Hope that Owen is ok - glad to hear that he was doing better this morning.

Posted by: Delia at October 21, 2010 2:46 AM

So scary. Hope he's doing better.

Posted by: NG at October 21, 2010 10:31 AM

Hope Owen is doing well now, and it was nothing serious...scary shit taking one of your babes to emergency....ahhh....the joys of parenthood....

Posted by: roberta at October 21, 2010 7:07 PM