March 10, 2011
Sometimes I wish I had a pair of special glasses. They'd be special because when you put them on they'd show you a vision of whatever you're gazing at at any time in history.
There's this shopping center that I grew up near and, oddly enough, I now live close to. I'd stand across the street, put the glasses on, turn them to 1989 and stare. Towards the video store that shoved gigantic VHS tapes inside even bigger red padded boxes as if the tapes were made of gold. At the grocery store so small that it seemed like an exaggerated 7-11 and the actual 7-11 that seemed just right. At the theaters that we hung out in, the floors of which were covered by years of spilled Coke. And at the Waxie Maxie's record store where friends worked and where we discovered that a CD thrown to the ground at exactly the right angle will shatter like glass instantaneously.
And while I'm talking about vision, I think you should know that I have x-ray vision. Or, more specifically, the video monitor we have in Owen's room has x-ray vision.
Last night Owen woke up grumpy. Beth went into his room and I watched everything unfold from the monitor. When she got done and came back downstairs:
Me: You have on your stripey underwear don't you?
Me: You're wearing stripey underwear.
Beth: Um, yeah. How did you know?
Me: I could totally see your underwear through your pants on the monitor.
Beth: Seriously? That's weird.
Me: No, that's awesome.
And it's true. Despite the fact that Beth was fully clothed, I could totally see her underwear in the monitor. Who needs superpowers when you have a baby monitor?
If you had special glasses or x-ray vision, what would you check out?