September 12, 2011

Parenting Fail #498

Beth and I don't eat meat. We stopped eating meat ten years ago not because we objected to meat (though both of us do now) but because we weren't big fans. As a result we don't eat much fake meat either. But two exceptions are fake breakfast sausage and fake chicken nuggets. Both of the kids love them. (And before you start saying that we're depriving them in some way, we always give them the option of eating meat and Owen's something of a regular at our local Chik-Fil-A.)

On Saturday morning Mia woke up and wanted sausage. We were out. So she asked for a nugget. Not exactly morning food but hey, what the hell. I popped one in the microwave and handed it off.

"It's too crunch. And it's spicy," she said. Now, Mia isn't always very enthusiastic about food. We hear both of these excuses quite a bit. We don't fall for them anymore.

"Just eat them. Mommy's getting donuts and you can have one after you eat some protein." And she did and again she complained. But she'd let them sit too long. They tend to get a little tough when you let them sit. "Do you want me to make you another one?" I offered.

"Yes, please." I did and that second serving was met with the same complaints. Then Beth came home with the promised donuts, a rare special treat.

"Why are you giving Mia those spicy fake Buffalo wings?"

"What are you talking about? I gave her nuggets."

"No, you gave her the spicy Buffalo wings, the ones I bought for myself to put on salads at lunch."

"Oh shit."

It was then that I realized that, indeed, I had been trying to guilt Mia into eating spicy Buffalo wings. And that she'd been largely compliant given the fact that they must have tasted so horrible to her. I was immediately and profusely apologetic. All day long. I felt - and still feel - horrible.

A note to the Morningstar Farms folks - when you make two very different products and put them in the exact same box with the same colors and virtually the same picture on the front - there's going to be trouble. Especially when you're dealing with a dad who's only managed to consume one cup of coffee.

Posted by Chris at September 12, 2011 7:11 AM

I feel worse for you than for Mia! She's probably forgotten all about it by now :)

My son loves the Morningstar Farms corn dogs. He's been eating them practically his whole life and I really don't think he knows they aren't "real".

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 12, 2011 8:02 AM


Posted by: Maribeth at September 12, 2011 8:27 AM

One morning when I was a kid, my mother served me some disgusting French toast. I kept telling her it didn't taste right, but she kept insisting that I eat it ... until she tasted it and realized she'd been so tired she put garlic powder in instead of cinnamon. I just thought it was hilarious.

And I was happy I didn't have to eat any more of that French toast.

Posted by: Fraulein N at September 12, 2011 9:11 AM

Seriously? This is the worst thing you've done in a while? Will you raise my hypothetical kids?

Posted by: alektra at September 12, 2011 9:59 AM

yep, pretty sure you can stop feeling bad about this one! she'll survive :) :)

Posted by: kati at September 12, 2011 10:25 AM

On Saturday I was getting breakfast for my son (and coffee for me) when he made that screech of pain/crying sound that you just know as a parent means he's hurt himself good. He came running to me and after about 10 seconds announced himself "all better" and turned to leave. I admit, I was annoyed with him 'cause I was just pouring my coffee and he'd been acting up just prior to this happening. As he turned to leave I brushed his hair off his forehead and found a HUGE black goose egg just at his hairline. He'd run into the corner of my desk. And because he's autistic and doesn't feel/react to pain the way you or I would, he just carried on. I honestly almost threw up with fear and guilt and OMG my son could have given himself a concussion and I almost didn't even notice. So I think you're off the hook for the wings. And my son is fine too.

Posted by: Jen at September 12, 2011 11:13 AM