February 29, 2012

I'm With The Band

My first band's name was Rude Cactus. Hence the name of the site. It was ridiculous and nonsensical which is why I loved it. I've been thinking of starting a new band. Though band is probably not the right word. It would be a solo venture. I'd record crap in my basement with a guitar, a Mac and Garage Band and release it to critical acclaim though never achieve widespread appeal. This would be due, in part, to the fact that I'd never tour. I'm lazy. At some point I'd become disillusioned with the state of the music industry, release a scathing press release and retire. A year later I'd reunite with myself for another critically acclaimed album after which I'd disappear.

But what to call this band? I have some thoughts.

Avocado Pits and the Gazpacho Singers
Atomic Bitchwax (*)
The Vladimir Putins
Superficial Einsteins
Lollipop Genius
Midget Rebellion
Love Gun Snipers
Loud Sons of Bitches
The Ramparts
The Situational Awareness Singers
Haiku Action Stars
Fire Water Super-Sponge (+)
Angry Words
Fecal Urgency
The Death Star Escape Squad
Linguini Rescue
The Serial Commas
Semi-Colon and the Apostrophes
Kill Devil Bills
Toxic Muffins
The Five Finger Discount
Ed Wood and the Plan Nine All-Stars
Earbud Catastrophe
The Hardback Remainders
Mark As Unread
Carl Pilkington
Say Goodnight To The Girls
Mind Bullet
Can Has Rock
Douchebag Invasion
Bedhead Warriors
John Edwards Stole My Girl

What's your vote?

* Sadly, this one is already taken. Really.
+ After five years of research, I've concluded that these are the only proper substitutes for Rock, Paper and Scissors. Think about it.

Posted by Chris at February 29, 2012 7:08 AM

I'm partial to Semi-Colon and the Apostrophes. Really cool people in the know could abbreviate it :&''

Posted by: Elizabeth at February 29, 2012 8:10 AM

Don't do the Hardback Remainders -- there's already a Rock Bottom Remainders consisting of the likes of Stephen King, Amy Tan, Dave Barry, Barbara Kingsolver, etc.

Posted by: Karen at February 29, 2012 9:46 AM

Kill Devil Bills, though I do like semi colon and the apostrophes, especially written as ;&"

Posted by: beth anne at February 29, 2012 9:51 AM

I'd go with Carl Pilkington or The Vladimir Putins. I think Fecal Urgency has already been reserved as a future band name by my six year old son.

Posted by: akofaolain at February 29, 2012 9:53 AM

I just realized I did my abbreviation wrong! Should be ;&'' Yes, I know, I should get a life.

Posted by: Elizabeth at February 29, 2012 9:55 AM

The Vladimir Putins is killing me! That's my vote.

Posted by: lovey at February 29, 2012 10:31 AM

Phallus and the Bedhead Warriors- I'm sure there's something Freudian in those choices...
There's a band around these parts that goes by Free Beer- easy to remember for sure

Posted by: greenie at February 29, 2012 10:55 AM

Go with Rancid Milk!! That was going to be our band name, if we ever made a band.

Posted by: Kim at February 29, 2012 11:36 AM

I'm kinda digging Midget Rebellion.

Posted by: Kerry at February 29, 2012 11:44 AM

So many good ones! Kill Devil Bills is great, Mark as Unread is good too. But Loud Sons of Bitches may just win.

Posted by: Amy at February 29, 2012 12:12 PM

I like ;&" and Lollipop Genius! The first is fun and the second is memorable! And the band name should be as memorable as the band. And, since you don't want to tour, have a contest for your fans to come to you...totally new tour concept for a totally new kind of band!

Posted by: Krush at February 29, 2012 12:14 PM

I like Say Goodnight to the Girls. Taken out of the context of your attentive parenting, it gets a gothy, undead vibe going. In my mind, anyway.

Is the Liguini Rescue the result of the Spaghetti Incident?

Posted by: Brooke at February 29, 2012 12:47 PM

I'm a fan of Douchebag Invasion, Can Has Rock, and Semi-Colon & The Apostraphes.

So many choices....

Posted by: Mel at February 29, 2012 1:59 PM


okay, let me preface this with that i am a total liberal hippie mom of two...

but if i ever have a death metal band i'm going to name it Lebensborn.

Posted by: kati at February 29, 2012 2:13 PM

Fecal Urgency!!

Posted by: Procrastamom at February 29, 2012 2:18 PM

Mark As Unread- love it! But Linguini Rescue has some serious graphic arts appeal to it. Imagine the t-shirts!

Posted by: rebecca at February 29, 2012 3:52 PM

;&" is only good for a band (but totally bitchin as is Serial Commas) but if it's more of a solo dealio I would go with Earbud Catastrophe!

Posted by: Amy at February 29, 2012 4:14 PM

I like the Ed Wood one...

Posted by: Sue R at March 1, 2012 10:37 PM

I think my favorite is Semi-Colon and the Apostrophes! I'd totally download a single by those guys. :)

Posted by: Dianna at March 1, 2012 10:57 PM

The Motherfuckin' Popes
Nuns on Fire (you'd need at least one chick in a nun costume, probably)
Mudflap Silhouette
Three Dog Nightmare
Cock Attack!
Transkription Faktor (with umlauts over the second 'o')
Hitler's Concubine
Pol Pot Pie

I could do this all day.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at March 6, 2012 10:38 AM

I forgot that you asked a question....

'Can Has Rock' is good, but I think 'Carl Pilkington' is better in some other specific ways.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at March 6, 2012 10:40 AM