June 19, 2012
Freakshow Part 182
Those of you who've been reading since the good old days - when blogs were cool, DSL was fast, and I hadn't yet achieved dadhood - might recall the fact that I've always been something of a freak magnet, particularly in the bathroom. Those odd encounters are few and far between these days, especially since I work from home a bit and the only freak to encounter is myself.
Occasionally, however, I'm able to see that my freak magnetism hasn't worn off. As exemplified by the Tale Of Mr. OCD and Mr. Indecisive.
I was seated in the middle stall (please see Figure 1.1 for a helpful diagram) when Mr. OCD arrived on my left. Mr. OCD proceeded to lock the stall, remove his pants and boxers as well as all accessories they contained. He neatly folded his pants and lined up his phone, keys, and other assorted goodies on the floor in a nice straight line as though to survey all he brought him. Now, I've always maintained that I don't understand people who drop trou completely because frankly a men's room floor isn't the place for clothes or, really, anything. But this so thoroughly confused me that I almost didn't notice Mr. Indecisive entering the stall on my right.
Mr. Indecisive clearly had commitment issues. He entered the stall, closed the door, stood and peed. An instant later, he dropped his pants, sat down, took care of business then, for act three, he stood up, turned around and peed again. I can think of no medical condition which would make this process necessary. I therefore consider him yet another bathroom freak.
Now, to encounter either of these individuals separately would be an experience but both at the same time was almost overwhelming. It was like having freaks in stereo.
So I assure you, readers, that my freakshine hasn't lost its luster. In case you were worried.Posted by Chris at June 19, 2012 7:12 AM