July 25, 2012

Textual Healing

I had a meeting with a colleague in Maryland yesterday afternoon. I didn't manage to get in my car to head home until 5:00. If you know anything about the DC area, you know this means that I was entirely screwed and doomed to a terrible commute. I texted Beth - who has the "find my friends" app installed on her iPhone so we can see where we are, geographically - to let her know I was stuck in traffic.

Beth: You're making great time I see.
Me: Ha. Yeah, right.
Beth: I could text you about everything I did today. The scintillating tale would really make the time fly.
Me: Go for it.
Beth: Grocery shopping.
Beth: Laundry.
Beth: Vacuuming.
Beth: Cleaning bathrooms.
Beth: Chopping vegetables.
Beth: Hot, huh?
Me: I have a raging boner.
Beth: I knew it.
Beth: Seems like you've gone four miles in 30 minutes.
Me: My raging hard-on is wreaking havoc with my car's wind resistance.
Beth: Close the windows.
Me: The windows are closed but obviously the sunroof has to be open.

The only thing that makes this whole exchange even more bizarre is that I was trying to be a good driver. Instead of traditional texting in traffic, I was using Siri, my hands-free electronic girlfriend. So, yeah, I was actually saying this stuff out loud. In my car. Alone.

Why don't Beth and I have a sitcom deal yet?

Posted by Chris at July 25, 2012 7:36 AM

It'd be right up there with Seinfeld.

Posted by: Heather at July 25, 2012 8:17 AM

Wait? Siri works for you? mine doesn't understand anything I say.

Posted by: jodifur at July 25, 2012 9:29 AM

that conversation is made of awesome lol

Posted by: Kris at July 25, 2012 9:40 AM

I see where Owen gets it from.

Posted by: Elizabeth at July 25, 2012 9:46 AM

The lipreading man in the next lane is still feeling violated over you happening to glance his way while stating "I have a raging boner".

Posted by: Julee at July 25, 2012 9:47 AM

I'm impressed Siri understood most of those words. We have a running game of "try to figure out what I really said using what Siri thought I said" going in our house.

Posted by: Jen at July 25, 2012 11:54 AM


Posted by: cyndy at July 25, 2012 1:23 PM

ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS POST!! You made me lol for real...wow sunroof open? Beth's got herself a real man! You rock.

Posted by: Cheryl at July 25, 2012 2:55 PM

You guys are just full of hysterical awesome.

Posted by: Heather at July 25, 2012 4:07 PM

Have you seen the Siri argument video? My husband and I walk around saying, "Please don't make me" in Siri's voice all the time now. It's worth the Google.

Posted by: Amanda L at July 25, 2012 10:06 PM