November 28, 2012

The Blow-Out

We had an argument. It was a bad one. A blow-out, really. It was all about driving directions because fights like these usually start over something like that. See, I was leaving the house, heading for a meeting and she gave me directions. They seemed right and I'd never been there so I didn't know any better. Things started to go south when I found myself winding through a neighborhood. A short cut, I thought. But no.

Siri: Prepare to park your vehicle. Your destination is ahead.
Me: I'm in a neighborhood.
Siri: Your destination is ahead.
Me: Again, I'm in a neighborhood. With houses. I'm not even on the right street.
Siri: You have reached the end of the navigable route. You must now walk to your destination.
Me: That's someone's front yard!
Siri: You've reached your destination.
Me: Like hell I have. Your damn maps took me to the wrong place.
Siri: I don't see any places matching the wrong nearby.
Me: If you had eyes you would.
Siri: Would you like me to search the web for if you had eyes you would?
Me: No, just blow me.
Siri: I hope you don't kiss your mother with that mouth.
Me: I'm sorry Siri.
Siri: It's okay. Really.
Me: I was out of line. I won't let it happen again.
Siri: I'd like that Christopher.

I did eventually make it to the meeting, on time and without walking through anyone's backyard. And I made it with the help of another navigation app. Yes, I cheated on Siri. Though, when I opened the app and told it where I needed to go, because I was apparently in a neighborhood right behind the office building I was headed to, it encouraged me to walk as well. I think my iPhone thinks I'm fat.

Siri and I have made up, mended fences but I probably won't use Apple maps anytime soon. Unless I want to walk.

(Yes, this conversation happened exactly as written.)

Posted by Chris at November 28, 2012 7:06 AM

Thanks for brightening my day!

Posted by: Nancy at November 28, 2012 8:27 AM

Too funny!

Posted by: linda at November 28, 2012 8:42 AM

Ha! I love the "I hope you don't kiss your mother with that mouth" response.

Posted by: Carolyn at November 28, 2012 9:42 AM

Apple Maps is THE WORST. Egads!

Posted by: Erin at November 28, 2012 11:16 AM

Wow, your Siri has her knickers in a twist! But knowing I'm not the only one who argues with her makes my day! :)

Posted by: Kellie at November 28, 2012 12:25 PM

Love this! Glad I am not the only one who argues with Siri...I've also yelled at my GPS when it said "recalculating" because I pulled off at a rest stop. ;-) I believe my exact comment was "Shut up, you're a computer, you don't have to pee!!"

Posted by: Kristin at November 28, 2012 1:28 PM

I got last summer with my son in Indiana on a road that was closed for construction. My IPhone GPS kept insisting it was there and I went around twice before I finally figured a way around it. I was in the middle of nowhere. In a state that I had never been.

I don't have the newest one, so I don't have Siri. I was crazy as neither my built-in GPS in my car nor my cell was of any use.

Posted by: One Mom's Opinion at December 1, 2012 1:44 PM