January 14, 2013

Ph-Ph-Ph-Ph-Phases

Owen is in the midst of a phase. At least we hope it's a phase. It was once described by noted pediatrician Benjamin Spock as the Doesn't Listen For Shit phase. It's getting old. Two examples.

Our normal family dinner goes something like this:

Me: Owen, why are you not sitting on your bottom in the chair?
Owen: I don't know.
Me: Then sit on your bottom.
Owen: Okay.

...35 seconds pass...

Me: Why are you not on your bottom? We just had this talk?
Owen: I'll sit on my bottom.

...1 minute passes...

Me: Owen! You're not sitting on your bottom. One more time and I'm going to ask you to leave the table.
Owen: Okay, I'll sit. On my bottom, daddy.

...22.5 seconds pass...

Me: Owen. You're not on your bottom. Please leave the table.
Owen: BUT I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THE TABLE!

Or, alternatively, a conversation in the car may go something like:

Owen: Where are we going again?
Beth: To the grocery store.
Owen: Oh. Okay. What do we need there?
Me: Bread. And some wine.
Owen: Where are we going?
Beth: The grocery store.
Owen: For what?
Me: Bread. Wine. We talked about this
Owen. Okay. Wait. We're going where?
Me: Detroit.
Beth: To buy a hot air balloon.
Me: And float to Zimbabwe.
Owen: How far away is Zimbabwe?!?!

Owen is a wonderful boy and I love him dearly. But the whole not listening thing drives me up the freaking wall. Combined with the fact that the kid totally knows how to push my buttons - even buttons I didn't know I had - it's downright maddening. I'm sure it goes both ways. I'm sure I drive him up the wall and push all his buttons as well. After all, I helped install them. Still, I wish he'd listen to me occasionally.

Posted by Chris at January 14, 2013 7:59 AM
Comments

$20 says he's about to shoot up 3"+

Posted by: alektra at January 14, 2013 8:43 AM

I feel your pain as my 16 year olds are also going through this phase.

Posted by: Carolyn at January 14, 2013 9:47 AM

Yeah, a phase....lol! I have two boys: 17 and 15 and we still have conversations like that. Of course, they do sit on their bottoms at the dinner table.

Posted by: natalie at January 14, 2013 10:40 AM

(P) "Mommy- don't put me in the car."
(Mommy) "Okay."
(P) "Daddy- put me in the car!"
(Daddy) "I'm coming to put you in the car!"
(P) "No!"
(Daddy) "Okay. Do you want me to put you in the car?"
(P) "No!"
(Daddy) "Okay."
(P) "Daddy?"
(Daddy) "Yes?"
(P) "Could you please put me in the car?"

That's three in a nutshell.

Posted by: rebecca at January 14, 2013 11:50 AM

What Natalie said!

Posted by: That Girl at January 14, 2013 3:18 PM

What Natalie said!

Posted by: That Girl at January 14, 2013 3:19 PM

I just shared this post, in its entirety, with my husband. I accused him of ghost-writing it for you.

Posted by: kate at January 15, 2013 8:54 PM

Oh dear gawd... Is this what my life will be like in about 2-3 years??? I already know that I'll take the route you and Beth took with the conversation in the car -- Detroit, hot air balloon, Zimbabwe. Or something like that. *sigh*

Posted by: Gina at January 15, 2013 9:12 PM


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