March 18, 2013
Out Of Touch
We did two things on Saturday night that made me feel old and out of touch. We went to the mall, then watched Saturday Night Live.
I realize the mall is always a bastion of hopelessness and a place that's supposed to make you feel out of touch if you're beyond the age of 25. But between teenagers pushing strollers, twenty year olds actively buying bags of things in high-end stores and scores of tweens wearing outfits you usually see on women of a certain persuasion most frequently seen on poles in dimly lit clubs, I have to admit that, for a moment, I briefly and quietly said what's the world coming to? in a totally non-rhetorical way. When Superman stumbled upon Bizarro world, I suspect this is what it felt like.
Beth and I had a wonderful night out anyway. We ate a wonderful meal them bought presents from leprechauns, came home, watched some TV then trashed the kids' rooms. (Speaking of Bizarro world, St. Patrick's day is fun. You get to trash the kids' rooms and blame mythical creatures and they get happy about it.)
After watching a couple episodes of House Of Cards, we flipped off Netflix and landed on Saturday Night Live, something neither of us have watched in years. During the hour we watched, we laughed precisely twice, once at the fake Hobbit ad, and once again at the Weekend Update. Otherwise it was tragically bad. I mean, really, really bad. My son tells far better jokes on a daily basis. And those generally go something like this:
Owen: Why did the chicken cross the road?
The bar is very low. So the fact that adults who earn money to write for a storied late-night broadcast couldn't come up with anything funnier than Owen's ass-fixated jokes? Sad.
Both of these things taken together made me feel old. Before bed, I brushed my teeth and spent the Oral B mandated two minutes looking at myself. I have more lines on my face attributable to smiling than sadness. My hair is going gray at a steady rate but at least I still have hair. The bags under my eyes are ever-present but, hey, at least I can see them.
So it's not all bad. But still, the world feels a little wackier each time I try and look at it objectively. Luckily I don't do that much.Posted by Chris at March 18, 2013 9:56 AM