September 12, 2013

Epic Parenting Fail

I realize using the words epic, parenting and fail in a sentence, all squished up together brings to mind all kinds of horrific offenses. Like forgetting to lock the bedroom door and getting caught doing it by your kids when one of them wants water at midnight. Or teaching your kids how to twerk. Or finding yourself on a flight to Paris and suddenly realizing that you've left one of your sons home alone during the holidays to face the wrath of two bumbling burglars. Some epic parenting fails aren't quite as dramatic...which makes them worse.

Mia had a baby tooth that refused to budge. This wouldn't have been a problem but it was getting a bit crowded in her mouth. So she went to the dentist who deftly, almost painlessly pulled it.

And then the tooth fairy forgot to show up.

I mean, seriously, what's up with that chick? A kid gets her tooth pulled, is promised pretty much double the cash for aforementioned tooth pull, and the tooth fairy just totally forgets to make an appearance and drop a ten-spot on the kid?

We're horrible parents.

The morning after, kids still asleep, I charged down the stairs and found Beth in the kitchen.

Me: Did the tooth fairy come?
Beth: Did you do it?
Me: No, did you?
Beth: Shit.
Me: Shit.
Beth: Let's go do it. Quick.

Then Mia appeared in our kitchen with her tooth and a sad look on her face.

We're horrible parents.

We explained that there was probably a bit of a delay since:

- The tooth had been threatening to come out for, like, ever and the tooth fairy had probably arrived at the belief that it wasn't coming out any time soon, thinking the alert she'd received had been a mistake.
- Since the tooth had been pulled there might have been something of a breakdown in the natural tooth fairy order of things.
- Beth had been awake well into the morning suffering from a bout of insomnia. Naturally the tooth fairy had been cautious wishing to avoid discovery and had simply stayed away.

Somehow this worked. During the following school day, Saferia (the tooth fairy's real name if you didn't know) dropped by, left a note, and deposited a healthy amount of cash under the pillow. All was right with the world.

Still, we're horrible parents.

Posted by Chris at September 12, 2013 7:50 AM | TrackBack

You have failed again. The tooth fairy never visits during daylight!

Posted by: COD at September 12, 2013 8:31 AM

Nah, take the pressure off...we did the same thing...Leda lost a tooth on a weekend, put the tooth under her pillow on a Saturday night...after a few cocktails, both the husband and I totally forgot that the tooth fairy was supposed to show up!

The kid was a bit disappointed the next morning...I had a brilliant idea...I told her..."you know how Mommy doesn't work on weekends? Well, neither does the tooth fairy!"

So she put her tooth under her pillow on Monday night and the tooth fairy, after a mostly excellent weekend of rest and relaxation, did her job! ;-)

Kids are pretty understanding! ;-)

Posted by: cyndy at September 12, 2013 10:21 AM

We once escaped this because after we realized, I snuck into my son's room and hid the dollar in his underwear drawer, knowing he would find it later.

The day before, he lost a tooth but couldn't find it. When he found his money (and after laughing hysterically about the fact it was in his underwear drawer) I told him that since he "hid" his tooth from the tooth fairy, she must have hidden his money!

Posted by: Kaz at September 12, 2013 12:22 PM

The Tooth Fairy has forgotten before. I can attest to that. She brings extra cash for her late payments, so all's good!

Posted by: James Proffitt at September 12, 2013 12:32 PM

This made me smile with memories. Ya did just fine.

Posted by: Mindy at September 13, 2013 1:59 PM

The tooth fairy forgot to come when my son lost his. first. tooth. I cannot describe the guilt. You are not a bad parent. :-)

Posted by: Holly at September 15, 2013 11:35 PM
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