September 16, 2003

A Joke For Tuesday

Dirty Ernie had a bad reputation for using foul language. Luckily, his kindergarten teacher was well aware of the problem. Ernie’s teacher, Mrs. Willows, was leading the class in an alphabet exercise. She’d go through the alphabet and pick a student to come up with a word that started with that letter.

“The first letter is A. Can anyone think of a word that begins with A?” she asked.

Almost everyone in the class raised their hands, Ernie included. He waved his hand enthusiastically to get the teacher’s attention. Mrs. Willows noticed this almost immediately and, given Ernie’s reputation for bad language, considered what he might blurt out beginning with the letter A. After some careful consideration, she thought it was too dangerous. “Sally, you have your hand up,” she said. “Do you have a word that begins with A?”

“Yes I do Mrs. Willows,” she replied. “A is for apple.”

“Very good Sally. The next letter is B. Can anyone think of a word that begins with B?”

Again, most of the children raised their hands but none more enthusiastically than Ernie. And again the teacher was left considering the possible implications of choosing Ernie. She quickly decided to pick another student. “Jake, can you think of a word that begins with B?” she asked.

“Yes, I can Mrs. Willows,” Jake replied. “B is for butterfly.”

“Very good Jake. Well done. The next letter is C. Who has a word that begins with C?”

The children again raised their hands, Ernie straining to keep his the highest, his face turning red with the effort. Almost immediately, it was clear to the teacher that C was not an appropriate letter to call on Ernie for an answer to. Too many bad possibilities. “Molly, do you have an answer for the class?” she asked.

“Yes, I do Mrs. Willows. C is for cat.”

“Excellent,” Mrs. Willows responded. “Our next letter is D. Who can come up with a word beginning with D?”

As before, Ernie’s hand shot up along with many of his classmates. Yet Mrs. Willows feared what might come out of his mouth beginning with D. “Aaron, what word did you have in mind?” she asked.

“D is for donkey, Mrs. Willows,” he responded.

“Very good Aaron,” she replied.

This process went on for a while until Mrs. Willows finally reached R. Upon careful consideration, the teacher was hard-pressed to find anything offensive that began with the letter R. And Ernie’s hand had been enthusiastically raised for each letter. Most of the class had already had a chance to respond. What could it hurt?

“Our next letter is R. Who can think of a word that begins with R?” she asked.

As expected, Ernie’s hand shot up immediately. “Ernie, do you have a word that begins with the letter R?” she asked.

Ernie stood up from behind his little desk. “Yes, I do Mrs. Willows.”

“Excellent Ernie. Please tell the class your word.”

“BIG FUCKING RATS”

Posted by Chris at September 16, 2003 11:16 AM
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