January 14, 2004

The Joys of Hump Day

Embarrassing moments from the last 24 hours you'd see if I had my own reality TV show:

1. Just a little while ago, my tie got caught on my keyboard tray. When I backed up in my chair, tensile strength of my neckwear previously unknown, my head was snapped forward and my forehead smacked right into the keyboard. It made me type 'mnvksd."

2. This morning, after completely dressing myself, brushing my teeth and tying my tie, I discovered that a shirt cuff button was missing. This forced me to do the 'crap-I'm-fully-dressed-and-now-I-have-to-find-a-new-shirt' dance of frustration which consisted of jumping up and down and silently cursing the name Brooks Brothers.

3. What I'm calling my Jessica Simpson Does Math moment of the morning: 30% of 138 is what? How do you do that? Yes, I eventually figured it out. And I didn't even use my fingers.

4. My end of a conversation held before the injestion of any coffee. It went something like this:

-"Good morning to you."
- "Fine. How are you?"
- "Yes, I see exactly what you're going for."
- "No, you completely lost me. I have no idea what you're going for."
- "Who is this again?"
- "I like ducks."
- "Oh I see."
- "Nope, no clue what you're talking about."
- "Who brought up ducks? Wasn't me."
- "Who is this again?"
- "I'm confused. Could you start over again?"
- "I don't know what you're rambling on about but you seem to have a bizarre fascination with ducks."
- "Hello?"

5. While the convenience would be unmatched, the orange juice does not belong in the cabinet with the glasses. Nor do the Pop Tarts go in the fridge. I've attempted both. I've learned.

Happy Hump Day! It's gotta get better, right? Please?

Posted by Chris at January 14, 2004 11:25 AM

Oh god.

#1 made me wet myself laughing.

Posted by: Marie at January 14, 2004 11:42 AM

Chris, you kill me sometimes. That is too funny (and like Marie said, especially #1). Were there any witnesses to this spectacle?

Posted by: Zandria at January 14, 2004 12:03 PM

My day simply cannot compare. Oh, and as for #1, "sdfhsjk" for you!

Posted by: Busy Mom at January 14, 2004 12:15 PM

At least your keyboard didn't drink a cup of thee like mine today :))

Posted by: Sweety at January 14, 2004 12:15 PM

Oh the visuals... and you really should stop calling yourself.

Posted by: katherine at January 14, 2004 12:23 PM

Hate to say it but I'm glad someone is having a worse day than me. Hope it gets better...or just keep sharing I could use a laugh!

Posted by: Krush at January 14, 2004 12:29 PM

I would have paid for the live feed of #1. LOL

Posted by: Kimmie at January 14, 2004 12:32 PM

On basically what is a daily basis, I forget I'm wearing headphones that are attached to my computer. I've smacked my forehead into the monitor more times than I can count, because not only is the headphones cord made of something with the strength of steel, it's got the springy-ness of a bungee cord.

I think I have permanent whiplash.

Posted by: Anne at January 14, 2004 12:38 PM

Hey Chris, are we related? I think you and I have a bit of that same "special" gene!

Posted by: :: jozjozjoz :: at January 14, 2004 01:54 PM

hahaha #1 is too funny, I'm glad I don't wear ties lol.

Posted by: Jaded Angel at January 14, 2004 02:22 PM

woah.. number 1 is indeed a marvel of comedic timing!...
As for number 2, i have had similar experience one where i was soooo tired whilst getting dressed in the morning i found myself putting on two bras. Although bust enhancing it really wasnt very comfortable.

Posted by: Fluffy at January 14, 2004 03:05 PM

I've got to say I too laughed at #1.

I won't tell you what I did last night, let's just say that it involved me, a pickel jar, my foot, a trip to the hospital and a lot of cussing.

Going on day 5 of not smoking! : )

Posted by: Theresa at January 14, 2004 03:11 PM

Are you pregnant dear?

Posted by: Amber at January 14, 2004 03:14 PM

Just thought I'd rub it by telling you Its Already Thursday Here So That Means Its Friday Tomorrow!

It's true, us Kiwis really do live on the edge here on the cusp of the International Dateline.

Posted by: Fi at January 14, 2004 03:35 PM

aw man, that sounds exactly like me! well... except for the tie thing... i don't wear ties. but the other day when i was at the gym... the wire from my headphones caught on to one of the weight sets as i was walking by it and jerked me back, as well as yanking the headphones off my head.

and today, i was inputing a member's application, and i accidentally put the man's name in as "Ronald McDonald". the member's first name wasn't ronald... it was one of those freudian slips, obviously. i guess it was more funny to us here in the office... one of those "you had to be there" kind of things...

but yeah, i am incredibly clumsy and blonde at times. usually in the morning and without coffee....

Posted by: Judy at January 14, 2004 03:40 PM

See, in Hawai'i it's Aloha wear, so ties aren't an issue. However, if you wear the right sort of shirt, the tails can get caught in all manner of things (spaces between file cabinets come to mind).

Posted by: Linkmeister at January 14, 2004 04:46 PM

#4 is too funny - I've had conversations like that.

I'm constantly tripping or hitting my head on things no one else would - I actually think my life would make a pretty good slapstick comedy. The tie in the keyboard I haven't done, probably because I don't wear a tie, but I have gotten completely caught in the cords under my desk and fallen on my face while trying to get up from my desk. I'm also a victim of placing household objects in weird places.

Posted by: pie at January 14, 2004 05:45 PM

I am sorry but I am busting a gut cracking up....

Posted by: Rachel in Alaska at January 14, 2004 06:39 PM

HA! I almost lost a mouthful of chai to #1. #2 made me laugh in the same way, only without the threat of losing any of my precioussssssss.... chai.

I should write my own embarrassing moments of today - since there have been enough of them.

Posted by: Tara at January 14, 2004 07:34 PM

oh man. you lead an interesting life =)

Posted by: tiffanie at January 14, 2004 07:45 PM