The man with red hair
i swear is sexy because
of his shovel tongue

(did that work?)

That is one long kitty

I dont want to meet
The man who is turned on by
Accordian Porn

I think the other
side of the fence partitions
butt sniffing action

Experiment worked!
Man and cartoon character
combined into one!

am i allowed to
wanna take accordian
away and see tit

Where'd I leave my head?
Hmmm ... is it stuck in the fence?
Well--not on this side ...

My last day at work!
Better cool it on the 'kus--
Don't want to get fired.

Note to self: fig leaf
would be lighter; and, besides,
How is this thing played?

Warning -Do not try

this at home lest you get caught

in a jam session.

oh how we grinned
poor man had corn up his butt
constipation kills!

Didn't I tell you

That popcorn diving is IT?

Especially nude.

I have always said,

I would lose my head if I

Wasn't more careful.

The things people do

For Reality TV-

Guess they have no pride.

I swear I will do

my homework next time Miss Bell-

Please let me go home.

I fit through this chair
just fine, before I ate all
the library paste ...

I think I just got
my titty caught in this thing!
Could someone help me?

We all know that Chris
likes to photograph himself...
but the wig *must* go!!

Bobby will think twice
before sticking his head in
a hole so damn small!

Its all fun and games
Until someone gets his head
stuck in a chair, yo.

Its an expensive
chair, sure, but stay calm and please
no one lose their head.

Milwaukee strippers
Strut, shimmy, wiggle and bend
accordianly...

Man, that's one fine chair.
You sure you know which you want
me to saw off, yo?

Why don't I have a
problem hearing the strip-tease
accordian tunes?

Man with big red hair
has that goofy laugh of
Charles Nelson Riley

Karen Carpenter's
first album was titled "the
Accordian years"

This is what happens
when you mix Carrot Top with
Charles Nelson Riley

Kid takes teasing to
heart, "but Johnny told me that
I was a butthead"

Don't let this smile I
wear convince you that I can't
play accordion.

Jacques Cousteau finds the
tasty sea of exotic
buttered popcorn shrimp.

I can't wait to hear
Jilbur play Weird Al tunes on
the accordian.

Lee experiments
with a few positions for
cat taxidermy.

yo Lee--syllables
are fine, but your spelling, dear!
Poor Mr. Reilly ...

Well if I spelled his
name correctly you'd have one
less 'ku idea, yo.

Mr. Davidson's
hall pass is much easier
to get on than off.

I just noticed that
I have been spelling the word
accordion wrong.

Long kitty cat-snake
amazing us with twisty turns
Things aren't as they seem.

Holy crap! Check out
the Fisitalia on
on that woman, yo.

I'm so pathetic.
I had to Google brands of
accordions, yo.

Ronald McDonald
Fired after a bad trip
Tongue thing scares small kids.

Pathetic, yes, but
that's the way I like 'em, yo.
Cowering's a plus ...

The search and rescue
could not find the lost person
due to the butter.

The nude talent show
showed good signs of improving
given Miss July.

The taxidermist
had a sick sense of humor
but won some awards

Houdini was wrong
no matter how hard it is
hold breath don't help.

Man's hair set on fire
Nude Accordion player
Sought for questioning

Beetlejuice was good
but brother Beetlehammer
scared the white off rice

Knowing the redhead
The popcorn man hid from him
and the band played on.

Who gave that dumb-ass
Kid a sucker? Isn't it
Clear he's fat enough?

Setting the mood with
Accordion rendition
Of "Let's Get It On"?

The experiment
having gone bad on the cat
they chose a small child

The cat was getting
Hungry, but he knew he had
A bigger problem.

He's related to
The boy who got stuck inside
The stuffed toy machine

Carrot-top spied a
Hot woman, but she wouldn't
Give him her number

The popcorn had sensed
Weakness, it was now only
A matter of time.

The poor chair screamed out,
"Why must I pay the price for
Your Stupidity?"

"Could you saw off some
backfat while you're at it, please?"
Said the chairchest boy

Headline: Boy wishes
On star for sea of popcorn
Millions of fish die

Carelessly running
the cat tried to turn too fast
resulting in this.

Teacher shocked to find
The boy inside the chair's hole
"It's not how it looks!"

My superpowers:
bug eyes; aardvark tongue; 3-day
shadow (files diamonds).

She wanted to know
"Does this not make me look fat?"
The boys shouted "No!"

This should be enough
pup-cahn to last me thru the
Lethal Weapon-fest ...

Why the zinc oxide
and goggles? Shelter from the
radiant talent.

Live Girls Playing Strings!
It has to be one of those
European things

The answer was wrong
he was made an example
the teacher gone bad.

Extra butter please
I sprung for the large tub so
refills are free, no?

I was born this way--
Mom still whines about that
damn accordion ...

Suddenly he choked
the popcorn owverwhelmed him
he new he had lost.

Lee had reddish hair
jilbur loaned him the green shades
Meet Chrissy's boyfriend!

Unique as it seems
There must be a faery tale
About stetching cat

Johnny had fallen
none of the kids were aware
sucker never fell.

Talent scouts abound
she was given the award
best dressed beauty queen.

I was born this way:
talking cat, bad enough--but
meter-long neck? Please!

G knows I like 'em
A little on the wild side
With Hawaiian shirts

And Koolaid dyed hair
And that huge tongue just makes him
Much more fun in bed

Contest was sponsored
by Orville Redenbacher
who was that masked man?

Chrissy was hiding
although we could all see her
she thought she was safe.

I'm ku'ing from school
So I'm "typing a paper"
... In haiku form ;)

The cat had to know
The wicked witch named Mindy
was the culprit here!

Like G doesn't find
The nude accordionist
Remotely sexy

Genuine has class
he had his chivalry, but
accordians suck!

Chrissy's very good
But Genuine is better
he goes forever.

Genuine, my man,
you should be so lucky, to
get with squeezebox chick.

Chrissy disagrees
But still complements G on
his external rhyme

If I had a tongue
like the man in those glasses
jilbur would love me.

'Squeezebox' opens up
a brave new world of 'ku, yo:
fewer syllables!

I hope you're joking
Accordionists are whores
It's common knowledge

big 'mwah,' genuine--
I already gotta man,
but you're next on list!

Short hiatus,yo:
exit interview awaits ...
"Adios, suckahs!"

As fun as this is
I must make time to go pee
Please do not watch me

Despite the picture's
contents, I can't use "squeezebox"
It just sounds dirty

You can trust me, but
With specs like my boyfriend has
I would be cautious

"Local Girl Crowned Ms.
Nude Polka Queen '04"
Reported the news.

Hey Chrissy I'm back
Let's lose the guy in those specs
Please go out with me.

Believe it or not
This is, I believe, my first
Convo in 'ku, yo

Tempting offer, G
But you said it yourself: no
The tongue for the job

Back to the pictures
I've forgoten what they were
Oh yeah Chrissy's nude

Oh shit, I messed up
Tried to write two 'kus at once
Please, please forgive me

Very funny, G
I play the clarinet, but
It'd reveal too much ;)

He loved Dr. Suess
but then he took it too far
character acting

I like clarinets
they make for some good action
a line has been crossed

One hundred comments
and I am still going strong
bring on the west coast!

When Father found out
about today let's just say
The chair hit the wall

Black cat adds extra
challenge to game of chase your
own tail around.

The clarinet's not
Normally a turn-on, but
Maybe it's just me

When dogs mate with cats
the problems always arise
the dog always wins

Genuine and Lee
are just too damned funny, yo
Glad they are my friends!!

The west coast can wait
Until three o'clock, I hope,
When I'm out of school

It was this reason
We were warned about breeding
Stretchable kitties

Popcorn is my game
and Scuba Steve is my name
do you have butter?

Lunchtime is over
Now it's time for Spanish class :(
Je veux parler... French

John Stevens has changed
since American Idol.
His hair is longer.

For my next trick, I'll
(after sawing off head) cure
childhood obesity.

Chrissy that is french!
Come here and let me bite you
Mister Adams style!

crap. Did it again:
syllable violation.
Please, don't say I suck.

Trying again:

For my next trick, I'll
cure childhood obesity--
(oops--where is that head?!)

One twisted pussy.
Knows head from his butt.
What were you thinking?

had I actually completed the 7 syllable line: "He knows his head from his butt". If would have been nmore effective.

Evangeline won
The Miss Zydeco Pageant
After "talent" part.

Cats i love to pet
Except when they turn really bad
Then you have a scracth

Superintendent
will be here very shortly
Let's finish this up!

With client's I meet
how dare they come on this day
but Genuine's back!

Strange tan lines she got
when tanning at beach party
she had an excuse!

The Boy's head is stuck
They are trying to get him out
Accidents happen

Kid gets stuck in chair
What the hell was he thinking
He must be on drugs

That dude with red hair
he does look like a doof ball
someone please help him

this cat is so weird
i've never seen one do that
it is very cool

Let's hypothesize!
The man in the red-haired wig?
With the C.I.A.

He's gone to the fair,
incognito, of course, y'all
dressed as a punk kid.

Really he's looking
for a whole gang of punk kids
dressed as C.I.A.

And when he finds them
the punky-looking agent
will infiltrate them.

There is a rumor
that the punk kids are making
very bad pea soup.

Got the recipe
in home economics class
but are not good cooks.

So when they make it
through no real fault of their own
the soup tastes shitty.

The punk kids don't know
that their pea soup is putrid
They think it's real good.

(I think it's crazy;
punk kids making yucky soup
and thinking it's good?

Most punk kids I know
would not give a rat's heinie
'bout cooking or soup.)

Punk kids have a plan
to brink peace to the whole world
by sharing their soup.

They'd take it abroad
To China, Kuwait, Japan;
Everyone'd love it!

Their pea soup would go
where no peace treaty has gone,
make quite an impact.

Then all of the peeps
and leaders of the nations
would be unified.

Each in their own tongue
they would all praise the pea soup
and love each other.

They boys are naïve
but at least they have good hearts
too bad they can't cook.

When the C.I.A.
got wind of the pea soup plan
(not to mention soup!) ...

They were astonished
because the plan was so good
and soup so awful.

So the C.I.A.
needs to find out from the punks
just where the soup is.

If they can destroy
the soup and the recipe
the Earth might be saved.

For if enacted
the pea soup plan would surely
horrify the earth.

And though C.I.A.
could conquer the earth like that
It isn't time yet.

Now is the time for
stopping punk kids in their tracks
before this begins.

So C.I.A. man
went on the hunt for the punks
who threaten the earth.

The boys do mean well
but their cooking is suited
for prisons instead.

After the red-haired
C.I.A. agent finds them
he'll try to befriend.

Maybe get info
about the boys and their soup
and then destroy it.

But the C.I.A.
of course keeps the recipe
in case they need it.

You just never know
when you might need bad pea soup
in the C.I.A.

And when it comes time
for the president's birthday
Well, eat it up, man!

Can't you imagine
bad pea soup getting served to
George W. Bush?

He might gag or choke
he might smile, say he liked it,
and inwardly wretch.

Maybe he'd invade
the poor wretch of a country
who makes such bad soup?

Anyhow, I think
it's funny to imagine
George eating some crap.

With C.I.A. guys
standing around in earnest
hoping he likes it.

Goggled C.I.A.
Doesn't know, however, that
the punks are aware.

They know who he is
they also know what he wants
and they will not give.

When he meets the punks
they act cool but do not say
a word about soup.

Sadly, C.I.A.
forced to admit a defeat
by split pea soup punks.

Red haired man goes home
He takes off his wig and thinks
I should take Home Ec!

And when the guy does
Teacher is sick on soup day
makes waffles instead.

The waffles taste good
so he leaves the C.I.A.
To open a shop.

At THE WAFFLE STORE
you can get all things waffle
and fresh waffles too

Everyone's glad
until one day the news says:
CHINA HATES PEA SOUP.

It looks like the punks
went through with their pea soup plan
but that is all right.

The Chinese are smart
They take the recipe and
send soup to the States.

Waffle Man's all right
He couldn't be happier
with his little shop.

No more dodging guns
And no more espionage
just yummy waffles.

When he retires
he is the happiest man
that ever has lived.

Moral of the tale?
Don't stupid red-haired work;
give waffles a chance.

Oh dear Amalah
My love for you burns like an
accordion song.

"Brink peace to the world"?
that should have said "bring", you guys
I made a mistake.

Second last line says:
Don't DO stupid red-haired work
or at least it should.

Here is the latest
photo of Genuine the
Goofy red-haired freak

The witch has arrived
she's better late than never
Please welcome Mindy

Mindy not really
is it really you or not
cuz it's smackdown time

Since I had the snip
this is easier. My dick
got caught in the folds!

Seven kids in house
but, help me god, I will find
the time to haiku!!

Mindy you are Queen
Don't let Gen push you around!
He *should* be working!!

I'm Mister Heat Mi-
ser, I'm Mr. Sun. I'm Mis-
ter green Christmas

I'm Mister one hun-
dred and one. They call me Heat
Miser; whatever

I touch starts to melt
in my clutch. I'm too much!
Dum dum dum dum! Yo!

I'm playing to win
and I am loving to play
this surely is sin!

The hair is too red.
Vision over corrected
But Lee looks sooooo hot!!

You think that's my best?
then you better watch the rest
but surely you jest?

In and out and in...
Just another fun thing you
can do in the nude!!

'Damnit' said kitty
I hate it when that happens!
Lost my head again!!

Now Amber is in
Now i am sure it is sin
She plays this with Len!

You are prolific
I'll give you that Genuine...
Maybe you will win!

His sex drive is gone
so experiment they did
Now his head's all red

Nobody playing here
today could want to win quite
as much as I do!!

I'll stab thrust parry
but I will not lose the match
I'm really scary.

I ignore the kids
Dinner is burning right now...
Do I give a fuck?

Much coffee I've had
not enough sleep I did get
It's all someone's fault

I will not back down
I intend to win the crown
would that make you frown?

Please burn the dinner
because I am the winner
you are the sinner.

You can't push the blame
If you don't get enough sleep
You *are* a big boy!!!

How did that kid get
His head stuck in the chair, dudes?
Goofing around! (duh.)

Prob'ly embarassed
'coz his head became so fat
he can't get it out.

When he put it in
it fit; there was no problem
Then what'd he do? Eat?

Or maybe a witch
put a spell on the poor boy
to make his ears grow.

Either way this is
definately going on
PERMANENT RECORD.

That Permanent R.
follows you all through schooling
college and beyond.

That boy may not get
into university
all because of chair.

He'll have to attend
A community college
because of the chair.

And then he will go
trotting off to barber school
'Coz of what? The chair.

Because of that chair
he won't be an astronaut
not even banker.

Will not be swimmer
not even an accountant
Damn that stupid chair!

Later on in life
the boy, all grown up by now
will curse that damn day

"Why did I have to?
why did I goof off that day?
I was so stupid.

"I could have been cool
I could have been a pilot
but now I cut hair."

Permanent Record
Certainly has the power
To ruin one's life.

Of course the boy's mom
Will raise a stink about it
and so will his dad.

The peeps will demand
that the PR be struck clean
of chair incident.

They gladly point out
That it was the school that bought
these terrible chairs.

Then they'll cite the case
Of boys who are rejected
from Harvard for this.

I mean the poor kid
Might have to go to Vassar
Like Lisa Simpson.

They'll take it to court
To demand that the thingy
Not be on record.

They look like such fools
Even if you strike the chair
The boy has no chance

Permanent Record
Already details in full:
Other incidents.

Once he got his hand
Stuck in a vase in the class
they had to smash it.

Once he let the mice
who were pets of his classroom
out of their cages

One of them went in
the teacher's black leather purse
she found it and sceamed.

Another one ran
across the principal's desk
he phoned Harvard then.

Anyhoo, the peeps,
the parents of the chair boy,
lose their case in court.

They decide to take
their little Tommy elsewhere
a school with no chairs.

So Tommy goes
but guess what follows him, peeps?
PERMANENT RECORD.

Man, those were lies, yo,
Those damn teachers lied to us
About our PRs.

They used it to get
cooperation from us;
we should have rebelled.

The parents become
a laughing stock in their town
because of the boy.

Cannot show faces
at the local country club
without getting snubbed.

They decide to move
from East to West coast, baby.
and, yeah, bring the boy.

They strictly warn him
He's not to do anything
that might embarras.

Now the poor boy is
not only in therapy
he also killed them.

You see, it's the chair.
The chair tempted the boy first,
and ruined his life.

Can you all see it?
Let this be a lesson, yo!
Sit on the floor, dudes.

Do not play in chairs
because it could still end up.
on that damn PR.

Didn't you know that?
Employers have a copy
Governments do, too.

Spouses have copies
and sometimes they write in 'em
you cannot escape.

Be a good boy
or be a good little girl
else it will haunt you.

I have read page 1
I promise you I am fired
that's all I have done

The first time I played
Many of you I have slayed
knight in shiny suit

it took ten min
just to read what you've done here
you all are scary

i can not believe
this is all you do all day
but look at me now

here i am, ku' ing
along with you all, what will
become of me, yo?

Please come one come all
she will be planning a ball
accordian girl!

i hear from Mindy
you can become an addict
just be careful, yo

But I see that Gen
is addicted now too, oh
what will his boss say?

Who has time for lunch?
I will grab something to munch
that is just a hunch.

here little boy, have
a sucker while we figure
out how set you free

I am my own boss
that is at least for today
I can't handle loss.

just how many state
employees does it take to
free fat boy from chair?

it takes only four
and one to take the picture
who's idea was this?

My fingers are raw
from all the counting of ku
won't someone stop me?

Genunine stop man!
before you lose your fingers
who'd write the romance?

The record I want
for the commenting section
what is it this day?

Genuine--read FAQ!
Ditch they rhyme, dude! Not too cool!
Respect the form, yo.

here kitty kitty
Oh Kitty cat! where has your
little head gone? *gasp*

Mom! Bobby hurt my
Kitty again, won't you make
him stop! It's not fair!

You're lucky my wife
has a doctor appointment
she does rule the roost

Mister Cat now knows
always look where you're going
next time, he'll listen

when misses pussy
tells him to pay attention
that women are right

number nine gives it
her all, playing it up for
the county fair hicks

Yankee tourists are
thinking, wow! Texas really is
like no other place

Hanging head in shame
jilbur pointed to the rules
better go lie down

Naked girl scares me
accordion scares me, yes,
but so does her smile.

Why does "9" girl grin?
maybe she is practicing
for TV tryouts.

Can't you just see her
Queen American Idol?
she'd rule the damn roost.

Autumn, you're saying
that Mr. Cat is perhaps
somewhat pussy-whipped?

I leave you with this
I must work in Judith Light
Thanks to the Brigade!

oh i get it now
i come a ku-ing and you
all run away from me

Even Genuine
left me behind and he told
me he loved me once

autumn my dear girl
I remain, as ever, your
obedient slave

Don't worry, I'm not
going anywhere Autumn -
keeping watchful eye.

Flashback to last week
the Olsen twins' co-star was
"Kimmie" from Full House.

She has FAN SITES, dudes!
I think that's freaking scary;
She's not worked in ten.

Yes, Chris that I am.
Mr. Cat, like all men ought
loves pussy lots

Where is Oliquig?
She used to rock the house, dudes
Every Thursday.

I'll admit that I'm
certainly no exception
to that rule Autumn.

jilbur, you know not
what you say. However, it's good
to have an extra

I think its in your
best interest to stick it
out, I have good news

:)

On a windy day
Guns are unnecessary
To blow my head off.

Dude whats with the hair
did u fight with a razor?
I think he just won

Mr. Plunkett Yo
Is that you? You teach English.
What is with the shades?

The fat kid is stuck
The kid was trying to duck
For a twinkie truck

Has anyone 'ku'd
about Popcorn Eating Man?
he be scary, too.

his head is so big
how did it get stuck in there
can i find out how

wierd guys with red hair
never got but in their lives
Hay he eats the box

Sorry professor
didn't mean to play in class
please, don't give me JUG

wierd guys with red hair
never got but in their lives
Hay he eats the box

his head is so big
how did it get stuck in there
can i find out how

his head is so big
how did it get stuck in there
can i find out how

she is very dumb
how can she be that stupid
to not let us see

I mean, is he in
clothes? Or a speedo? Or naked?
I don't wanna know.

mister mosco, please--
teach kids about F5; spare
us the double posts ...

Very good news, yo!
I got into massage school
who wants to be first?

I'll take applicants
over at my place, let me
know how you like it.

because some like it
hot, and some like it hard, I
want know what you like

White things in popcorn??

i knew that was not butter!!

it still taste good though....

Is he eating corn?
Or "swimming" in it only?
Has anyone peed?

Huh. Autumn's a dom.
I should have known--fits her style.
Man, am I screwed now.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED
TO THE CAT,IS HE GOING
TO DIE OR BE OK?

Nobody cares, yo.
About my popcorn questions
gonna go cry now.

oh my dear goddess
that last ku sounded dirty
let me make myself

clear. I'm only going
to school for real massage, yo
not to fuck around

That cat's photoshopped
And badly, it seems, at that.
Hard to haiku it.

My kids crash the site.
Making dope lines they are "aight".
Three line "Kus" are tight.

Or else it could be
That there are two black kitties
(the photo's still bad).

Everyone knew
about the two kitty cats
Shiz took the short bus.

of course I'm a dom
what else did you expect from
a red-headed girl?

passive sweetness? I
think not. You're right, it's not my
style at all, yo.

mosco's kids--welcome!
'ku your little brains out, but--
beware smut quotient ...

Japanese verses yo.
Written in the Boogie Down
The smackdown grows fast.

look what you have done
jilbur, there's kid here, reading
our smut, now what, yo?

I came in here late
Because I live out West in
Lovely Vancouver.

Only Eleven
But been here since eight-thirty
But later for y'all.

I'm here but I 'ku
all by my little lonesome
don't know nobody.

hey--didn't invite
the kids--just being gracious!
let's larn 'em something!

The kids have dismissed.
They were very excited.
Now I Ku alone...

I bet Judith Light
would love our haiku party
accordian pic.

red-haired man reminds me
of dragon ball Z, looks like
Goku, in a way.

Its a funny tale.
How I found this cool ass site.
Next week... every class.

Mister Mosco, yo--
hope your ass doesn't get fired!
Smackdown: Rated X

Judith Light is know
for her love of the polka.
Naked polka, yo.

Autumn, I must say
I love, love, love your name, girl.
Have for a long while.

But my hubber likes
a different name better
we may not use it.

Still, we have some years
before that will be needed
I can wait for that.

i have orders to
enter, i ought to do that
but here i am, yo

ku-ing away like
an addict, this is why i
stayed away before.

The kids won't curse yo
Or straight to JUG they will go.
This is enriching!

Wheres my fiance?
She found the site from a blog.
Nervous she may be!

I love my name too
See it's not really my name
Michele is nice too

But Autumn fits me
much better then that so I
have kept it, you see

We'll enrich them, yes:
With ideas that will render
parents pale with rage ...

from the tales i have
heard, you might lose your job just
from letting them read

we were talking about
domminace, sex and massage
before you all came

i see all the boys
are interested in my
offer of massage :)

HA! Autumn--awesome
typo! talking b&d
gets you all het up ...

yes yes you laugh, yo
but you can't spell right either
you're not one to talk

My English Chair said,
One day when porn they had read.
"As long as they read."

true--can't spell worth a damn
when 'ku has me all riled up ...
it's a curse, yo! word.

"as long as they read"
wow, as long as thier parents
don't find out i guess.

by the way Mister
where the hell do you teach that
they let kids read fuck?

Cunning Linguist yo
Into popcorn I rather not..
Somewhere else I dive.

I can see it now:
Parents Row Over Classroom
'Ku Smut; Teacher Sacked

i think its sad that
you don't have something to teach
that's higher quality

in my school we read
Shakespeare and Fitzgerald, it
was simply lovely

Headlines I have made.
Google the New York Post yo.
Student nodes I save.

this is living art!
beats reading dead white guys, yo--
interactive--right?

Autumn my sad dear
We take a break from Shakespeare
Expression is here.

Autumn I can leave
If this is your party place.
And where do you work?

The cat was lured through
the hole by the lovely sound
of accordion

Music, but after
seeing the naked state of
the player, he tried

To go back through, but
picked the wrong hole on the trip
back, and now he's fucked.

i suppose you could
say that, but jilbur, don't you
think he could do more

dead white guys aren't bad
maybe i think kids ought to be
older to ku' yo

since we do get down
and dirty once in a while
which is cool with me

Jilbur I'm wit u
The kids were excited yo
They lernt something ho!

I guess "Goggle Man"
has no current allergies or
he'd be full of snot.

i'm not suggesting
you leave by any means, I
question the value

of teaching our kids
to ku' smut when they could be
doing much more ok?

Autumn you assume
My boys leave much worse at home
With me they learn much

Valiant effort,
But in the end he was no
Match for the popcorn.

we don't just 'ku smut--
but, this fight isn't moving
forward--let's leave it ...

Darn I used twice
Tired fingers and glass eyes
No more mistakes yo..

The chair accident
was nothing compared to the
stool attack last year.

We are talking 'bout
high school kids, yes? At that age
I read Lolita ...

i know we don't just
ku smut, i swear, i didn't mean that
i just wanted to

understand is all.
I'm sorry to cause a ruckus
I didn't mean it

Haiku dialogue
Super phat symposium
Let's have some more fun!

Bad timing, yo, but
I only have 2 hours left
to tie loose ends here ...

I'll be back, refreshed,
tonight--I hope, funnier--
Now, I don't amuse ...

Fiance of mine..
read bout chicks givin' some head
Her Mom's Judy Blume.

She was just twelve then.
Now she turned out A-Okay
and knows a few tricks.

so.... that popcorn guy
you think that's a tryout for
fear factor maybe?

Fear factor is cool
Except for eating that stool
Shoot.. Haikus don't rhyme.

Kid stuck in a chair.
Ass backwards he did not care.
Damn! Haikus don't rhyme!

I honestly tried
To read Shiz's novels, but
Five-Seven-Five is harsh

for an epic poem
I agree, Chrissy, it's hard
on the eyes and brain

I failed a Calc quiz
just now, but you'd think I could
Count to five!.. Sorry!

I snuck back again
I am not sure snuck's a word
had to see if banned.

I did see "Bush", though,
And I'll assume you dissed him,
that son-of-a-bitch

Oh dear I said fuck
I'm sorry mister mosco
Kids are *so* fragile!

it is ok chrissy,
it happens to every-
one from time to time.

Accordian Girl
I thought of something funny
forgot it all now

Seems the tides have turned
Who's the unlucky one now,
heh, 'lil black kitty?

Genuine! glad you
are back with us, have at the
doctors, with Mrs?

Amber's so cheeky!
Most of the kids are 7 feet
Fragile they are not.

I wanted to work
but red haired guy is scary
needed cat picture

Shiz is back, people
Just to say good bye for now
Back in an hour.

I'm not sure which you
Meant - quiz or count - either way
I'm not too concerned

wow that was so bad.
let me try again. Did you
have fun at the doc?

If the offer's good
You can give me a massage...
Um... I am straight though.

If Amber said fuck
then I get to say it too
oops already said

i think i'm too late
to 'ku with all you guys
besides i suck balls

Aww, she came back here
If only to say goodbye
It's the thought that counts

Is blogroll still down?
I can't get on Mindy's or
Genuine's sites.

it's okay Amber
so am I, no matter what
you hear, i promise.

Accordian Girl
That is some chastity belt.
Glad Amber has none.

Hi there miss fluffy
I hear you like to suck balls?
Time for me to go

I believe it is
Mine takes ages to load, but
That's not a suprise

ooh! seven feet tall
I don't suppose you have any
of their phone numbers!!

i saw ambers fuck
it made my eyes bleed with the
wrongness of it all!

Miss Accordion
Thought she'd won the talent part
Then she saw that cat

The cat thought he'd won
But couldn't tell if the chair
Was part of an act

The kid thought, "Oh, cool!
I can win something without
Even trying to."

Popcorn man feels lame
He thought his show was the best
Now he knows the truth

Good thing Red Hair Guy
Wasn't much competition
'Corn man is relieved

my blogroll is broke
but hi to genuine
sorry 'bout the balls

Fuck shit bugger damn
Arse hole bastard shit for brains
I will win this week!!!

Suddenly I feel
a bit small and a bit short
let's talk about "fuck"

i don't use it is
blogroll and i don't get along
i just didn't know.

If the cat could ku
would he be a ku pussy?
I am just saying.

There is nothing wrong
With my f~*k miss fluffiness
just because I'm straight

I don't understand
The need for such foul language
Darn! Pooh! Rats! Fuck!.. oops

yoohoo Amber gal
wanna win the 'Ku doncha
shag Chris and its done!

a bit small, hmm G?
I don't think the ku's what is
making you feel that.

Maye that cat is
there as an examle to
all bad,naughty cats

i would think that a
Ku pussy, would be afraid
to ku, don't you all?

Chris, do you wanna?
I think Beth would be pissed off
But I want to win!!!

In honor of the absent Mindy and amalah:

Fuck Shit Bitch Asshole
Cunt Cock Pussy Dick Damn Hell
Piss Bastard Tampon.

Where is you all at?
Thirty-two and in New York.
Damn I feel so old.

I'm not gonna shag
but I think fluffy does balls
I could hook you up.

does my being bi
mean i might win because i
like to carpet munch?

Chrissy, Mindy won
The other week because she
Swore like a trooper!!

I so love Morty's
favorite expletive ever:
TAMPONTACULAR

I wish you were here
There's a cardinal outside
I'm such a dork

K lee, you cuss good
but didn't you hear, now you
have to shag Chris too

londons where i'm at
twenty seven i'm still young
but experienced

(teehee)

Stupid doody head
I guess that's the worst I have
unless you count poop.

That's what Mrs. Cat
told Mister. becareful pus-
sy footing around

but Mr. Cat didn't
listen, as you can see, he
had to play with the

neighbor pussy and
we all know how much the wife
likes that kind of stuff.

SHAG.....as in carpet?
Chris in my shag carpet would
look like red hair dude.

Well, if that's the case:
Damn, shit, fuck, sheiße, merde, ass
Wait, is tampon bad?

We could put fluffy
between the boys Lee and Chris
do I get to win?

Fluffy real cute blog.
I didn't realize yo
I could link mine too!

to be Ku Master
Cuss and mention Judith Light
....Haiku made of gold

is this the right time
to surgest a big orgy
or am i forward?

Have to go to doc
The genuine wife is there
Don't want to get smacked.

Judith Light is the
Bitchin Queen of KU, bow down
before her glory!

*gasp* Lee sucks in air
will he survive his lethal
stay in the popcorn?

Judith Light is nice.
Her nipples are so damn ripe.
Whose the boss tonight!?!

Oy, I hate doctors
But I think I'll study med.
Hypocritical

if that isn't a bid
to win this weeks ku'in' I
don't know what is, yo.

Mister M uses
very long words like
epiphanic on his blog!

You're my first real guest!
I wonder who will be next?
"M" is gonna blush!

PISS i did that wrong
i was distracted too much
Chris and hairy crutch

Can't find Mr M's
site...and fluffy please behave
the boys don't cope well

I was second, "M",
I think. Either way I'm gone
For now: swim practice

Fluffy - so your name
It is not from all the damn cats?
It's your hairy crotch?

(giggling)

please dont laugh at my
Ku-ing. Am new you know Yo
wanna mud wrestle?

Mud Wrassalin'Yo
I saw that on H B O
Them dykes really go!

Judith Light Brigade
There, I did it, or must I
say tampon here too?

wow, get a date through
ku. Only the internet,
what'll they think next?

Chris's middle name
is hirsuite and it suits him
or so i have heard

(ha!)

Maybe that cute guy
with red hair and glasses is
Mr Mosco, yo

tampon? oh no! shit!
fuck damn, fucking figures don't
it? be right back, damn.

Kinda sad really
Fat boy in chair is no match
For flirty Haiku

Mr M seems nice
do you guys know him at all?
fancy bare back ride!

You know guys it's just
not the same without Amy!
I wish she was here

How old are you all?
I feel young and six feet tall.
Can I flirt in Ku?

I do not know him
But he must be cool if he
Lets students Haiku

I am very old
thirty four years old in fact
hmmm! Boy, that's quite tall!

Do you think if that
saw slipped, the parents would be
happy or sad, huh?

Austin Powers, Lee
Surely you've seen it before
it is shagtastic!!

I WANT YOU IN MA'
TUMMY NOW!!! BABYBACK OH
BABYBACK...MMMM RIBS!!!

*sniff* *shudder* & *waaaaaaaaa*
it is getting lonely guys
please come back and 'ku

I guess, if I'm here
All on my lonesome, I can
do this *blank* freely

damn this fuckin fence
the horizontal boards make
my cat ass look huge

"been on zone diet
is workin really great but
neck looks like puntang"

(not me! is fat bastard in autin powers for the record!)

Mad parents please no!
I was ed-u-ma-cating..
Don't give them ideas!

You know i wonder...
did they try Vaseline first,
it normally works

the guy in red 'Yo
it is Chuckie from rugrats
only all grown up!

I wonder if cat
and boy have similar problems?
Maybe other cat

is thinking, "I told
him not to eat so much of
that tuna salad."

janitor's thinking,
"saws are more fun than sprinkling
wood chips on vomit"

am really happy
to see such nice pic displays
and naked people

I checked the spelling
of Vaseline with hubby...
*dirty chuckle* *snort*

It's a good thing that
is a woman playing the
Accordian - ouch!

the flame-haired tongue guy
maybe he's superhero
it's Capsicum Man!

Quizzical question:
How can I host a smackdown?
I have all the means!

i bet that nurse is
thinking, "wow, and i thought this
would be an easy job."

*grinning big* she thought..
'Do you think they will notice,
I forgot my clothes?'

they don't let others
host the smackdown,yo, see the
FAQ ok dude?

Mr M, you have
not a chance in hell of hosting
unless you shag Chris ;)

I must really suck
to lose everything playing
strip accordian

Is that Carrot Head?
Or Yahoo Serious yo?
He's pretty ugly!

Mrs. Smith thinks, "I
should have stayed in bed today,
but nooo, I got up.

"The alarm not going off,
my coffee spilling in the
car, kids with pink eye...

something should have tip-
ped me off, that this would go
badly, damn it Billy!"

Getting married Oct. 3
No chance of shagging.. Oh *sigh*
Cept for my sweet 'chelle.

I just logged on to
read ku. Then hit refesh: six
and sixty more 'kus!!!

Holy shit people. What
in Sam Hill is going on?
You're out of control.

ted finally seeks cure
for extra fragile ego
packs it in popcorn

Hey yo! Miss Mindy
Are you across the pond too?
Nanoo Nanoo yo!

Time to go home yo.
More Haikus henceforth will come.
Have a real nice day.

By the way, folks:
the chair will come off if you
remove the sucker.

In what seems to be
a normal classroom, earlier
there was tragedy.

Billy Smith was just
walking across the room, when this
very chair attacked him.

While no one it take-
ing responsibility
for this sick attack,

It is rumored that
the Al-Quadia are be
hind it. It's sad to

see even children this
young taken as casualties.
This is news at 6.

I think I'm on the
bench this week, chums. Am drained from
kids at work day. Fuuuuuuuck.

yay! Mindy is here
Now, show us your stuff, honey
You are the best, yo!

Mindy escaped from
take your parents to school day
she's free to ku, yeah!

Remind me next time:
pretend to be dead so I
don't have to show up.

oh! Mr mosco
It has been real fun, sorry
you have to go, bye!

Honestly folks: it
sucked so bad I sent them all
home early. I cried.

Am just calming down
sufficiently to go get
a fucking sandwich.

little steve regrets
sniffing ms. johanson's chair
got his just desserts

Can I just say this?
This place is safe, right? I HATE
BEING A MOMMY!

Well, just sometimes.
Mostly it's good. But today
I long to be free.

wow, poor mindy, you
want a hug girl? Fucking sucks
that it went badly.

Oh, my stats: thirty-
five, 5'9", green eyes, built-in
bullshit detector.

Live near S.F, and
yes, Arnold's my governor.
Just made him a grant.

i got to go now
some dinner for me and mine
see you all next 'Ku

Friends is on TV.
I wish it wasn't so funny
I can't concentrate!

It's days like today
that make me glad I'm not a mom.
poor poor mindy girl.

If you would like, hon
I can take the kids for you
Hell! what is three more?

Now that you say it,
blogrolling's not helping my
shitacular day.

Holee fuck, 'ku-ers!
Three-hundred EIGHTY-SEVEN
That's serious, yo.

Where the hell's my head?
How'd it get up there? Dammit!
Well, there go nine lives.

If the girl with the accordian eyes were crossed, she would look like my friend Sally!

Is this a party?
Who the fuck let him in here?
Get a hold of him!

Buckaroo Bonzai
He made it through the fencing
Kitty not so much!

Buckaroo Bonzai?
What, may I ask, is that Gen
I just don't get it.

Buckaroo Bonzai
In the seventh demension
Like John Big booty

I never got my head stuck in a chair, just my brothers headlocks.

it is fucking hot
who's idea was this? I mean
really? I'm dying.

Gen, for some reason
that still doesn't make sense to me
can you explain more?

I guess some practiced on a house cat before game hunting the big cats. Wonder why they didn't hang the head and body of the cat in their living room instead of their fense?

Rock, you're suppose
to Ku. like five-seven-five
check out the rules yo!

What's that guy doing in a pop-corn machine, taking a break? Wonder if anybody brought any later?

I'm all 'ku'd out peeps
Last wwek I really loved to
'Ku about Olsens.

The photos this week
while good, do not compare with
skinny white bred girls.

I'm suppose to Ku? What's that, and where are the rules?

Sorry little dudes
I guess I have to sign out
let you guys rock out.

Okay, Rockchild,
Go here for your info
Right side, read, "Read me."

And when you come back
You can apologize, dude,
In 5, 7, 5.

That was atrocious
but it gives me enough juice
to haiku a bit.

Did the boy not see
that we were typing in form?
I guess maybe not.

Just reading back now,
Mindy, I am so sorry
your day did suck so.

Buckaroo Bonzai
its starring Peter Weller
He goes through the walls

I hear that the kids
can be great, can be wretched
but then, so can I.

Yes, Shiz, we thank you.
He needed a kick in the
pants. Maybe several.

By the way, Amber:
if you're old, I'm the freaking
Mistress of the Crypt!

Thanks for the rule Shiz
Lets see if I can haiku
Hope I can do it

How many retards
will hang up on me today?????
Seventeen hundred.

"Wherever you go,
there you are." Only quote I know
from Buckaroo.

You're welcome, Rockchild
Everyone is welcome here
If they follow rules.

I work reception
For a laboratory
where callers hang up.

I'm with Shiz (well,
not with her): this week's kuage
pales next to white trash.

I am so lost, dudes.
What is this "Buckaroo", eh?
Have no idea.

There was just something
So damn GOOD about White Trash
Easy to Haiku.

So what's with the kid
he likes sticking his head into things
just like the black cat

Now, if the woman
naked woith accordian
was six hundred pounds

I think we would be
Haikuing up a storm, yo.
That be damn funny!

Do you think that in
the trailer parks they 'ku
about white-collar folk?

Should I post the link?
Sorry if I was too vague
it has lots of stars!

I always confuse
Buckaroo Bonzai and, um,
Rustler's Rhapsody

Grace to the Rockchild
but we must be strict with you
Still five, seven, five.

Am low-energy
today. My 'kus pale compared
to my ass. That's pale.

Prolitariate?
No haiku, just limerick
and tell dirty tales.

A white trash squeezebox?
That's Accordion Queen
dumb ass - thanks Jibur

The kid didn't realize that
he couldn't fit his body through it
but the chair suits him

Pardon my type-o's
I just get so excited
I do not proofread.

However pale they
are, the meter's still right. I
suck, but I can count.

Thinks of pale ass jokes.....
I think I'll just save these for
another smackdown.

ROCKCHILD! No haiku
Is eight, then nine, and then five
you must learn to count.

I know just how that
guy feels. Ate bag of Cheetos
and now all bloated.

Oh peeps, my Daddy
Legs so WHITE that they are green
They *glow in the dark*

COUNT the syllables.
six, eight, five ain't our beloved
five, seven, five dood.

No Lee, go ahead.
We can us all the humor
we can get right now.

But if that bag weren't
empty, you know I'd still be
chowing. Have no sense.

Okay so I lied.
I have no jokes about Mindy's
Pale, white, hairy ass.

What was this guy thinking
with the red hair and big glasses
he's dumber than a rock

Mindy, I'm with you
That's why I must contend with
teeny tiny bags

but last weekend, peeps,
ONE LITRE of Oreo
ice cream passed my lips.

This is the first time
I've ever heard poetry
compared to an ass.

I'm most impressed guys.
We're well over four hundred.
That's a major 'ku! ;-)

Can we see pale ass?
I'm not sure it is that pale
must see for myself

I bet red hair guy
lives in last weeks mobile home...
...the one with duct tape.

Rock, your last haiku
was six, then eight, then six, yo!
MUST five, seven five.

Can someone explain
what a syllable is, dudes?
That a disorder?

Lee, i suspect that
yo ass is much scragglier
than the lovely Min's

Define syllable:
single uninterrupted sound
formed by a vowel

Now you're making me
count every fucking word
I have lost my flow

Rock, try:

"What was guy thinkin'?
with red hair and goggles on?
Dumber than shit, dudes."

Count with me:

1. What
2. was
3. guy
4. think
5. ing

1. with
2. red
3. hair
4. and
5. gog
6. gles
7. on

1. Dumb
2. er
3. than
4. shit
5. dudes

My ass is SO not
scragglier than Mindy's, Yo.
I comb my ass hair.

Nah there, Genuine
you are a gifted 'ku-er
you'll get back on track.

Maybe by "scrag'lee"
the girl meant kinda scrawny
I could see that, dude.

Shiz - I love you man.
I am so glad you lost your
Susan Lucci crown.