July 13, 2004

Insane in the Membrane

I'm pretty sure I need a mental health day...and I don't really mean being driven off in a white van and deposited in a padded cell for a day. Although some might say otherwise. A few reasons why...

Example One: The Memo
I received a memo this morning. It stated, in part, "the hot asphalt patching around the telecom manhole should be completed between 2:00 and 3:00PM. During this time one lane of traffic will be blocked in the driveway. Flaggers will be provided." Now, is it me or does that sound vaguely dirty? Hot asphalt? Manholes? Flagging?

Example Two: Meetings, Meetings, Lunch and More Meetings (MMLMM)
I have four meetings today with a lunch thing smack-dab in the middle. This is going to keep me occupied from 10 AM until at least 4 PM. The lunch in the middle? My boss, boss (x2) and boss (x3) are taking me out to say, "good job." Is it wrong that I'd rather they toss me a bag of Cheez-Its and a Coke? And also? I think I've reached the saturation point for acronyms. If I get one new one thrown at me, my head just might explode.

Example Three: Dreams and Furniture
This morning around two, I woke up in a cold sweat after some dream about falling in love with an axe wielding murderer. Then I realized I had to pee...so I got out of bed and walked straight into our 5 foot-tall dresser. I don't mean that I just glanced off of it or stubbed my toe on the damn thing...I mean, full-on naked-man-on-Ikea contact. Then I got up this morning to get ready for work...and did it again.

...so yes...a mental health day is in order but I don't see that happening anytime soon. Happy Tuesday everyone.

Posted by Chris at July 13, 2004 08:08 AM
Comments

Oh, I feel for you! We're in the midst of full-blown craziness ourselves at home with selling the house, and work isn't much better. It's a toss up which is going to kill me first.

Posted by: Lisa at July 13, 2004 08:34 AM

Yes, you definitely need a day off.

Also, at the beginning? I totally read that as, "Floggers will be provided," which is waaaay kinkier than just flaggers.

I think we just all need a nap.

Posted by: Dawnie at July 13, 2004 08:35 AM

The weekend definitely can't come soon enough for you!

And dude. I really didn't need to know that you were naked.

Posted by: QC at July 13, 2004 08:58 AM

Yes, the nakie slam was more than I really needed. And that came out totally wrong. As did that.

OK I am going to back away and start over at my own blog, refresh, and look to see who's updated recently!

Posted by: Mindy at July 13, 2004 09:42 AM

My favorite part was, when I asked what was going on, you told me it was ok, you had just gotten lost.

Posted by: Mrs. Cactus at July 13, 2004 09:43 AM

"full-on naked-man-on-Ikea contact"

Is it wrong to be jealous of furniture?

Posted by: Tjej at July 13, 2004 09:43 AM

I am always one for a mental health day... I love Mrs. Cactus's (or is it Cacti's?) comment. Let the flogging, I mean flagging begin!

Posted by: debby at July 13, 2004 09:57 AM

hmmm if your dreams continue to be of that nature then i think you will have plenty of straight jacket, padded cell, mental health days.

Posted by: chlamygirl at July 13, 2004 10:16 AM

Is it weekend yet? You could always move the ikea thingy.

Your Pal

Posted by: haddocktwat at July 13, 2004 10:59 AM

What Tjej said!! LOL! :) Stop talking about being naked ;p

Hope you have a happy day in spite of the MMLMM and that strange memo.

Posted by: Sweety at July 13, 2004 11:04 AM

LOL@------>Mindy! And, WTP with acronyms? TTFYB? Really? I thought it was techies and engineers who got us into the mess of AFE in the first place!! Feh.

Posted by: bluepoppy at July 13, 2004 11:24 AM

Intimate relations with a dresser interesting. You never said which sex the axe murderer is, I am hoping female.

Watch your manhole, that hot asphalt really hurts like heck!

Posted by: Jeff A at July 13, 2004 12:12 PM

Ditto, except for the naked man & furniture part.

Posted by: Beth at July 13, 2004 12:26 PM

I wonder why more workplaces don't allow mental health days. In these times of people going postal at the drop of the hat, you'd think they'd encourage it.

Of course, in some cases, one day probably just won't do it. I have serious work-rage. I'd need a mental health year (paid time, of course) before I could get back to normal.

Posted by: pie at July 13, 2004 12:37 PM

always with the nakedness!

Posted by: beck at July 13, 2004 12:44 PM

Could be worse. Could have walked into a filing cabinet naked. At work!
I think we should all take a field trip. Maybe the same day we have our big sleep-over at Amalah's? Because I find myself day-dreaming of paint colors at work, and having night-dreams about the office. Ahhh!

Posted by: GranolaSpice at July 13, 2004 01:06 PM

Will that be the same day that Amalah makes us all a chocolate dinner? I hope so...

Posted by: Tjej at July 13, 2004 01:31 PM

I'm betting you bumped your nose on the furniture first.......and THAT's the part you're saddest about. I know I was.

Posted by: Lee at July 13, 2004 01:46 PM

We both need a mental health day. I propose we play hookey (hooky? hookie?) and take a road trip to Midgetville.

Posted by: Amalah at July 13, 2004 01:54 PM

naked-man-on-Ikea contact...

Bwahahaha

That had me laughing for a good amount of time.

Posted by: Kevin at July 13, 2004 02:21 PM

Maybe the garden gnomes or elves moved your dresser on you in the night and that is why you ran into it...that is one of my favorite excuses...that or it was the sunspots that made me do. :)

Posted by: Amy at July 13, 2004 02:39 PM

it's not just you. Hot asphalt and manholes made me horny

Posted by: yvonne at July 13, 2004 03:32 PM

hmmm...
you said you were naked?

i missed that part...

and, yes,
i'm sure they MEANT floggers...

because,
whenever anyone asks
"What's with the construction in the lot?"
people say,
"beats me"

Posted by: stacy at July 13, 2004 06:03 PM

BTW, does that mean that you won't be attending our MTAAM* meeting? TTFN.


LOL

*Meeting To Abolish All Meetings


Sorry, couldn't help myself. Have a better Wednesday. I'm with ya on the bosses. Why couln't they just hand you a gift certificate to use at your convenience? Who WANTS to eat with the boss, except the usual brown nosed crowd.

Posted by: HR Lady at July 13, 2004 08:03 PM

Looks like your Ikea furniture is getting more naked man time that I am. I'm jealous. Hmmm...maybe if I buy Ikea they will come. Wouldn't hurt to try. :)

Posted by: groovebunny at July 13, 2004 09:34 PM

Okay, I see that I'm like the 26th post on this or something crazy, but STILL. HAD to say something. What's up with the "ran into the 5-ft tall dresser, naked" thing about? Have you recently rearranged your bedroom furniture? It's more excusable in the middle of the night, than in the morning. Sorry.

Oh, and in Example One? Totally didn't get the whole thing about "vaguely dirty." Hot asphalt? Manholes? Flagging? Maybe I've just been single for too long. :)

Haha! (This comment just keeps getting longer and longer.) I read Mrs. Cactus' comment. I can just imagine observing this happening, and you being so sleep-addled that you're like, "I'm fine, I swear, I JUST GOT LOST..." Whatever. :)

Posted by: Zandria at July 13, 2004 10:08 PM

Dude, you ran into it TWICE? I think Mrs. Cactus might be playing a dirty trick on you.

We get mental health days - one every six months. But they expire if you don't use them before the end of the six months. How unfair is THAT??

Posted by: kalisah at July 13, 2004 10:49 PM

Wow Chris you need more than a MH day I so believe but that would be a start. Hope tomorrow will be better than today. Take care.

Posted by: Sweet N Sassy at July 13, 2004 11:39 PM