July 14, 2004

Drift Away

The topic of close friendships came up earlier today. Whenever I talk about the subject, especially friendships that have somehow, through lack of effort or exertion of circumstance, lapsed, I think of Adam. And whenever I think of Adam, I remember the long-buried trophy of our friendship - a stop sign.

There are lots of stories I could tell about Adam. Maybe I will someday. Like the time he was bragging about his car to friends, pulled away and his muffler fell off. Or the time I was home from college with mono and he'd wake me up everyday throwing rocks at my window (usually followed by a very loud "fuck off" from me). Or the summer gig we landed painting houses. Even the time his car got hit by a boat. Yeah, I'll tell those stories sometime.

What I can't tell you is what's ever happened to Adam. The last few years were rough for him, I know. He got married then divorced then had a kid with someone else and dated a married woman. He was never the king of common sense. Actually he was never the king of any kind of sense. Despite the fact that we drifted apart in ever loosening circles, Adam taught me something - its better to stay close to the ones you love than it is to wonder about whatever happened to them.

Posted by Chris at July 14, 2004 09:35 PM

So have you ever tried looking him up on Classmates.com or some of the other find-old-friends type sites?

Posted by: HR Lady at July 14, 2004 09:56 PM

I totally know what you mean. I've got lots of used-to-be friendships. Life happens, I guess.

Posted by: Ginny at July 14, 2004 10:06 PM

You know, in the last few years I've tracked down several old friends that I had lost touch with and it's been really nice to rekindle those friendships. Most of them will never really be the same as they were before, but it's nice not to wonder what happened to people.

Posted by: martha at July 14, 2004 10:10 PM

I have pictures of my best friends in highschool sitting on my desk. In the pictures we're hugging on graduation day. Had I known then that I would never see them again I would have held on tighter.

Posted by: groovebunny at July 14, 2004 10:38 PM

i have an Adam of my own that i still wonder about, my friend Dy from college. i so wish i had kept in touch.

Posted by: P at July 15, 2004 12:15 AM

I've tried to track down some old friend using the Internet, but I've come to the conclusion they're not as Internet-savvy as I am. And, believe me, that's not saying much.

Your post makes me melancholy. I hate losing people from my life. More than anything. I know it happens, but it truly truly sucks.

Posted by: DeAnn at July 15, 2004 01:35 AM

I;ll have to blog about how I found a very special friend after 25 years....it is so neat....see you just gave me a great idea....now will I remember it.

Posted by: Sweet N Sassy at July 15, 2004 02:37 AM

That's a good lesson you learned. I'm with Ginny, it's life.

What's mono?

Posted by: Sweety at July 15, 2004 05:11 AM

Isn't there a song by blink 182 about him?

Really though, me and my friends are all the same way. 4 or 5 of us moved away, 4 of them stayed there. Even the 4 that stayed, rarely keep in touch. Usually it's only when one of us that moved away come back for something that everyone gets together. And when we do get together, it's as if nothing changed. Invariably we will all say, "We need to stay in touch more often", and of course we don't. Life is funny that way.

Posted by: Mike at July 15, 2004 11:25 AM

I have an Adam too. Only his name is Frank. And he has become a total loser. I love who he USED to be, but cannot tolerate what he has become.

It saddens me SO much. Because I miss him...the old him. And it makes me mad that things can never be the same....


Posted by: Jen at July 15, 2004 01:30 PM