July 21, 2004

Genius at Work: Part III

<< Part I | Part II

The Ladder Toss

As I might have mentioned, the house? She was tall. So we rented a ladder, a big shiny ladder, a 20 foot long extension ladder (capable of reaching heights of 40 insane feet above the ground!).

The ladder served us well. It never collapsed, never fell, never left us hanging. Most importantly, it led to the creation of an entirely new sport. The Ladder Toss. Here’s what you need to do to play at home. Warning: Please don’t attempt this sport unless you are under the supervision of a trained professional or you’re merely and idiot.

Its really simple. All you have to do is get a really long ladder. Take said ladder and put in on top of your truck, car, bicycle or Big Wheel. The next step is really the key – what ever you do, DO NOT – I repeat DO NOT – properly secure it to the top of your vehicle. After the ladder is NOT secured to the top of your vehicle, begin to drive erratically. Bonus points are given for drinking large containers of Gatorade and attempting to light cigarettes while driving. You’re not done yet – here’s the part that takes some timing and skill. What you’re looking for is a traffic light that’s just about to change. Speed up until you’re almost at the intersection then, abruptly, slam on your brakes. If you’ve done everything correctly, your ladder should immediately take flight and become a very long, shiny and dangerous projectile. The overall launch is scored based on flair, speed, collateral damage and the level of negative impact on normal traffic patterns.

Our reaction was neither swift nor intelligent.

Adam: Dude, did you see that?
Chris: Yeah. That was pretty cool.
Adam: Almost hit that truck though.
Chris: Almost. Man, they woulda been pissed.
Adam: Heh. Yep.
Chris: Think we should get it out of the middle of the intersection?
Adam: Sure. Couldn’t hurt.

Posted by Chris at July 21, 2004 06:44 AM

"Hey, did you see those two guys acting stupid?"

Yes, I saw them, and in their defense,
let me say that they were not acting...


Posted by: stacy at July 21, 2004 06:51 AM

First trip to DC, in a rental, on the beltway during rush hour, had no idea what that silly POV lane was for, average speed of people that knew the area was 65 mph, average speed of people that didn't know the area(me) 40mph and WHAM! truck two vehicles ahead with a ladder on top of it, loses said ladder. First car in front swerves narrowly missing said ladder, second car hits said ladder knocking it two lanes over. My heart is still in my throat. Thank you Guardian Angel...

Posted by: wlfldy at July 21, 2004 08:21 AM

hey, as i see it, people need to get a sense of humor about these things..

Posted by: debby at July 21, 2004 08:32 AM

Again, I say: boys. Having said that, the Ladder Toss sounds like a fun spectator sport. As long as, you know, no one gets impaled or anything. That always brings the fun to a screeching halt.

Posted by: Fraulein N at July 21, 2004 08:34 AM

Yes, indeed. Boys.

However, it's funny now. Especially your complete non-surprise at the fact that you'd just launched a shiny dangerous projectile into the middle of traffic.

Posted by: Dawnie at July 21, 2004 08:39 AM

Y'all are jackasses. Seriously. Am totally calling you Beavis from this day forward.

Posted by: Amalah at July 21, 2004 10:01 AM

Ah yes, I remember how "quick" my reflexes were and how "seriously" I reacted to critical situations back then too. And they say brain cells don't regrow themselves. Shame on them.

Posted by: Mike at July 21, 2004 10:35 AM

Haha! Great story. Who would have thought a ladder could be turned into a lethal weapon??? ;)

Posted by: groovebunny at July 21, 2004 12:25 PM

Wow, that's pretty impressive. I think you might have just beaten most of the stupid things I did when I was younger. I guess I just wasn't trying hard enough.

Posted by: Kerry at July 21, 2004 01:24 PM

"Dude, where's my ladder?"

I'm sorry that was an awful joke :)) I can't help it!

Posted by: Sweety at July 21, 2004 03:20 PM

I wish I could say, "Are you kidding me?" but I already know that you're not. :)

Posted by: Zandria at July 22, 2004 10:40 AM