July 29, 2004

Missing: One 'Ku, Slightly Used

'Ku seems to be missing. Its Thursday so I came in and started looking around but all I found was this little note taped to my monitor --

Many weeks, no rest.
I go free like summer breeze.
But just for a week.

I checked with Amy and she knew nothing about it, except the strange message in her menu at dinner last night --

I take flight, like kite
But I will return next week.
I miss you long time.

Then the strange reports started flooding in. One such report told of a drunken 'ku seen doing body shots off of five hookers and a donkey in Cancun. Another spotted something described as "short, squat and Asian" streaking across the field of a Yankees game. Even more disturbing was the email I received from Sally Lettes of New Glockenspiel, Tennessee:


Yesterday I was in the farmhouse washing dishes and I heard all this mooing out back. Sure enough, there was 'ku out tipping cows. Then he made off with all my sheets hanging out to dry.

Worse still? Duane Thompson of Port Baughty, New Jersey emailed me with this:

You seen your friend 'ku lately? I swear I was out walking with my lady and out the corner of my eye some bitch jacked my Ford Probe. All I heard was this damn fool screaming, "Thanks for the lift yo/I return it but if not/Make you Grand Master."

And finally, thank god for TiVo. As I was watching the Democratic National Convention last night, I thought, just out of the corner of my eye, I saw a suspicious sign. Sure enough, upon repeated viewing, there 'ku was holding up a sign reading KU: 5-7-5.

Rest assured, 'ku will be back next week. If you do happen to see it in the mean time, drop me a line and let me know what 'ku's getting up to.

Posted by Chris at July 29, 2004 07:24 AM
Comments

Duane Thompson? Are you sure it wasn't Duane JOHNSON, aka, The Rock? Because that would be the coolest ever.

Posted by: Kim at July 29, 2004 10:09 AM

'Ku dropped by my place
earlier this morn and took
my muffin and tea.

Now my day won't be
complete. That bastard took my
morning starbucks treat!

Posted by: myllissa at July 29, 2004 10:26 AM

Temporary Ku
I set one up on my site,
but only 1 pic!

Posted by: Genuine at July 29, 2004 10:36 AM

*weeping into my coffee* 'ku has been here but/he left me desolate and blue/he's off to Doo-chay...

i just had to send ONE haiku. Now my thursday is totally ruined by having to do actual WORK instead of writing haikus!!

Posted by: samantha at July 29, 2004 10:38 AM

Dude. You couldn't even offer methodone?

Posted by: Mindy at July 29, 2004 10:43 AM

PARTY ON DUDES IN
CANCUN WOOOO WHEEEE AM SO DRUNK.
KU KU KACHOO YO!

Posted by: 'Ku at July 29, 2004 10:49 AM

Democratic 'Ku?
So now what are we to do?
They're taking over!

Posted by: Andrew/Phil at July 29, 2004 11:17 AM

Ku in Washington
Saw spectacle run amuck
police now in chase

Posted by: Lee at July 29, 2004 11:55 AM

Somebody was hogging my bed last night. I thought it was my dog, but possibly it was the 'ku?

Posted by: Martha at July 29, 2004 12:41 PM

I think I saw Ku!
He was running in my yard.
I phoned the police.

Posted by: Andrew/Phil at July 29, 2004 01:30 PM

'Ku is coming now.
He's dashing down the back yard.
Police closing in!

Posted by: Andrew/Phil at July 29, 2004 01:33 PM

I am the KU man
I am the KU man
Ku Ku Ku Ku

Hahahaha I'm such a dweeb i just crack myself up ;-P

Posted by: shane at July 29, 2004 04:02 PM

'Ku in police chase
Slowly driving white Bronco
In Los Angeles.

Posted by: Amy at July 29, 2004 04:53 PM

First time haikuing
My urge to rhyme is screwing
theme for missing Ku

Posted by: groovebunnny at July 29, 2004 05:06 PM

Would appreciate
someone wiring money
to Vegas for bail.

Posted by: 'Ku at July 29, 2004 06:04 PM

I remember not
A thing. Crazy 'ho took my
Wallet and my keys.

Posted by: 'Ku at July 29, 2004 06:50 PM

Ku's in Canada
avoiding the convention
must be a faux ku!

Posted by: Lissa at July 29, 2004 09:51 PM

I think our cat had 'ku for dinner!

Posted by: Sweety at July 30, 2004 03:05 AM