August 03, 2004

Back In The Saddle...Again

I'm back at work. Yes, after feeling icky all weekend and almost changing my name from Rude Cactus to Sloth Cactus, I'm back at work. I wish I could say that I'm jumping for joy about it but, well, I'm not. During my convalescence I did learn a few valuable lessons...

#1. Its true what they say - 500 channels and there's nothing on. Except lots of infomercials. And when are they going to stop selling that at-home haircut machine thingy?

#2. Simple equation: laptop plus lapcat equals a sweet yet warm and ultimately uncomfortable working environment. I mean, this is an 18 pound cat we're talking about here.

#3. Whoever designed our new dishwasher is kinda dumb. And so am I. I ran the dishwasher three freaking times before I realized I had a big ass ladle right in front of the little soap compartment which is why it wouldn't open. I have the most well-rinsed dishes evah.

#4. You know you're bored when you start making up new yoga positions whilst sending your wife off to her yoga class. My favorite so far? The Hanging Chad.

#5. Redundancy runs rampant in society. Example: the can of vegetable broth labeled 'vegetarian vegetable broth.'

Posted by Chris at August 3, 2004 08:05 AM

18lbs!!! Oh my lord. heh.

I dont know if thats redundant or sad, because you cant assume vegetable brother is vegetarian.

Posted by: Zoot at August 3, 2004 08:14 AM

The last time I got my haircut I think the lady trained with one of those machines ... she flowbee'd my head -- I looked like a cross between Billy Idol and a chia pet when she was finished.

I think the same guy designed my dishwasher.

The best yoga position is easy pose with arms extended in front of you ... easier to reach the laptop on the tv tray this way. I dunno what it is called ... surfin' lotus maybe?

Posted by: LOUP at August 3, 2004 08:25 AM

I demand pictures demonstrating the hanging chad :)

Posted by: Lee at August 3, 2004 09:13 AM two cats put together don't weigh 18 lbs. That's pretty impressive.

Posted by: Kerry at August 3, 2004 09:14 AM

Oh, man. The Flowbee is still around? That's a little scary; that means people are still buying it.

Posted by: Fraulein N at August 3, 2004 09:18 AM

you named yours too, huh? ... but chad? c'mon, be more imaginative.

Posted by: tj at August 3, 2004 09:32 AM

I have one skinny cat and one "pleasantly plump" (trying to be pc here). We changed the heavier one's name from "Jaime" to "Chunk."

Posted by: debby at August 3, 2004 09:45 AM

Ok. You? Need to take pictures of the hanging chad. It's absolutely necessary.

Posted by: Tjej at August 3, 2004 10:03 AM

"Vegetarian vegetable broth" isn't quite as bad as "potted meat product," where they have to tell you that it's meat. Or at least hope that you'll think it's meat.

Posted by: Jay at August 3, 2004 10:12 AM

LOL. Are you sure that wasn't meant to mean broth du vegetarian? Scarey thought isn't it? :)

Posted by: groovebunny at August 3, 2004 10:29 AM

I do NOT want to know what your Hanging Chad move was. Ahem. :P

Posted by: Kim at August 3, 2004 11:21 AM

Ayiee! I just had "Vegetable Beef Flavored Soup" recently. Does that make any sense? What kind of insane person would do that?! How does that constitute as a smart thing to do? Who ever voted for beef flavored shit in their vegetable soup was sorely mistaken.

Posted by: Maureen at August 3, 2004 12:13 PM

Re: #5
The one I can't stand? Is when people say "tuna fish". Tuna IS A FISH. Do we say beef cow? No, we do not.

Posted by: Lauren Brady at August 3, 2004 12:17 PM

It's not redundant but how about this false advertising? The box said chicken pot pie, liars, I didn't even get a buzz.

Posted by: Jeff A at August 3, 2004 12:23 PM

As a vegetarian, I find the redundancy reassuring, since so many food items you'd think would be vegetarian -- broccoli cheese soup, for example -- aren't. But then again, I also drive my husband nuts by saying that I'm making vegetarian paella or vegetarian lasagne, which is totally redundant, since he knows they are going to be vegetarian.

Posted by: hilldery at August 3, 2004 01:07 PM

I'm totally with Lee on this one. We want photos!

Also? Why did your comments section forget me? *sniff*

Posted by: GranolaSpice at August 3, 2004 01:31 PM

How about the package of cereal with flakes, fruits, and nuts that actually says: Warning, this product may contain nuts and was packaged in a factory that handles nut products.

Posted by: Debra at August 3, 2004 07:10 PM

oooh...i was lazy yesterday and didn't feel well and ended up calling in sick to work. shhh. :) but i'm better today, aside from the fact i got hardly any sleep last night (damn insomnia...)

Posted by: tiffanie at August 3, 2004 07:36 PM

#6 When you're sick and your head is in a fog, people either think you're really dumb or really slow and the thing is you don't really care. I had to explain that to someone today so they stopped looking at me all cross-eyed as if I'd left my brain at home. The best way I could come up with to tell them the way I was feeling, besides the fog, was "2 + 2 is 5??"

Posted by: pinksundrops at August 3, 2004 08:34 PM