August 09, 2004

Friday Night

OR, I FORGOT TO MENTION THE EVENING THAT TEETERED ON THE BRINK OF DISASTER

On Friday evening we had some friends over for dinner. We decided to grill salmon since it was such a nice day. All told, everything went pretty well. Although there were some minor hitches along the way.

While preparing the salmon (with a white wine, mustard and herb sauce) I momentarily joined our guests on the back deck. When I returned Pixel had made the four-foot leap onto the counter and was gnawing on a chunk of raw salmon.

Step One: Swiftly separate cat from fish so that neither wife nor guests can see what happened ( Hi honey! By the way, I forgot to tell you about this!).
Step Two: Remove gnawed piece of salmon from salmon fillet.
Step Three: Act as though nothing happened.

Iíll also admit that Iím a somewhat incompetent griller. Iím a vegetarian. With the exception of the occasional piece of fish (preferably not cat-gnawed) and maybe some vegetables, how often do I fire up the grill? Almost never. It should come as no shock, then, when the grill wasnít quite hot enough and the salmon refused to cook. The fix? More charcoal and a conflagration that could be seen throughout the land. Damnit, fish, you will cook! And cook it did. But only after much wine had been consumed while waiting.

After dinner, the fellow music lover in the crowd and I headed downstairs to my obsessive-compulsive shrine to the joys of music and single-handed support of the recording industry. When we returned, the ladies were outside again, having a beer. But I smelled cigarette smoke.

Me: You guys are smoking.
Her: Yup.
Me: Whereíd you get the cigarettes?
Her: I figured you had some in your car.
Me: You got these out of my car?
Her: Yeah. Problem with that?
Me: No. Except for the fact that those have been in my car for, well, about a year.
Her: Oh.
Me: Didnít they taste funny? Those have to suck!

I produced a fresher pack of cigarettes and calm was restored. Our guests left and my tired wife was put to bed. I couldnít sleep and ended up being awake until 4 AM. (Did you know that a TemperPedic mattress can be run over by a steamroller and still provide comfort and support to the average person? Amazing!) Yes, I watched infomercials.

Posted by Chris at August 9, 2004 08:50 AM
Comments

OMG, that is so sad and hillarious all at the same time. Here is a thought... When I give dinner parties, I cook ravioli and salad, and have the guests bring wine, bread and dessert. This prevents cooking disasters, and makes everyone full, goes well with the wine, and keeps the hostess calm. Which is why I love giving dinner parties!

Posted by: goodsnake at August 9, 2004 09:21 AM

so now we know how Pixel got to be 18 lbs

Posted by: LOUP at August 9, 2004 09:34 AM

LOL. I'm so picturing Pixel trying to eat a chunk of salmon beforing getting shooshed away.:)

Posted by: groovebunny at August 9, 2004 09:51 AM

LOL! sounds like fun anyway, except for the not sleeping part.

Posted by: Ginny at August 9, 2004 10:08 AM

You smoke AND are a vegeterian?

Both of these revelations surprise me!

Not sure which one more. I mean... come on man... RED MEAT! And, you don't look like a smoker, whatever that is supposed to look like.

;)

Posted by: Kim at August 9, 2004 10:41 AM

Heeheee. Yes, I know the joy of having kitty, ah, tasters. But, shhhh. Don't tell anyone. Cats on the kitchen counter? Never in MY apartment!

Posted by: Dawnie at August 9, 2004 11:20 AM

Dinner sounds yummy (minus the cat teeethmarks)..I have done the same thing, kinda..dropped a burger while grilling..ooops...pick it up brush it off, plop it an a roll and voila!

Posted by: debby at August 9, 2004 11:29 AM

Strangely enough, salmon is one of the things my cats always leave alone, even if they have access to it. I'm not sure why...it's yummy and delicious. Of course, my cat did carry of a brussel sprout once. Maybe my cats are vegetarians.

Posted by: Kerry at August 9, 2004 12:56 PM

I am so glad I was not in the MIDDLE of drinking my morning cup of coffee! I would have a wet screen in front of me! I am so laughing! I cannot believe you didn't TELL at least Beth! She finds out here! LOL You are such a goober!

Did YOU at least keep track of said filet to eat yourself? Or did you pawn it off to said friends?

Who knew you were a vegetarian!? (I used to be a million years ago!)I think it is nice that you attempted to be the host with the most... Great story! I am still laughing!

When can "I" come for dinner? I would keep one eye on you! LOL And the Cig story! Rolling over here! Year old smokes! Gack! Guess it helps with good wine...you don't notice!

Posted by: Gypsy at August 9, 2004 01:04 PM

I was going to say how proud I am of you, that the cigs in your car were over a year old...then you had to go and ruin it by producing a fresher pack. Bad (stinky) Cactus!!

Posted by: Zandria at August 9, 2004 01:59 PM

You know dear Cactus, one can only hope that said dinner guests don't know about your blog, cause if they do..........

The jig is UP, my friend!!!

(If you removed the Pixel piece, I hope at least kitty got the share it was smart enough to lay claim to!)

Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at August 9, 2004 02:59 PM

Did you eat the salmon or just watch everyone else ingest the kitty germs?

Posted by: pie at August 9, 2004 04:30 PM

i can't believe they smoked year old cigarettes and didn't notice they were stale. yuck!

Posted by: chlamygirl at August 9, 2004 06:26 PM

What??!!! You're smoking again???? Did you not heed the warning I left on one of your older posts???!!!!!!??????

Posted by: Tjej at August 10, 2004 05:24 AM

Okay, so who got the piece of cat-fish?

Posted by: Debra at August 10, 2004 06:28 AM