August 12, 2004

Bandwidth and Search Strings

Rarely do I go through and look at all my Web stats but I'm upping my hosting plan yet again because of the Horrific Outage of '04 caused by a flattering overuse of available bandwidth. As I was looking through my stats and had to highlight a couple of my favorite search strings.

why am i rude all the time. I have no idea. Seek therapy or drink more frequently.

gary larson beef jerky. By all means, read about talking cows while taking a bite out of a Slim Jim.

mouth size. Its not the size, its how you use it.

boobs. Simple, straightforward yet you're really barking up the wrong tree.

cactus love. That's more like it.

do midgets have other midgets or normal sized people. "Have" in what sense?

really rude bad stuff. Guilty as charged.

squirrel venti mocha. Call Starbucks. We have a new flavor.

ron jeremy rude. Isn't that redundant?

...and the award for the most detailed search known to the cat and the fish made friends after fighting all night over a little piece of dirt that fell in the fish bowl because the cat was tryin to eat te fish after it had just been out side and walked in dirt so the fish wasnt happy.

Posted by Chris at August 12, 2004 08:40 AM

Oh my gawd. I love that last search so much. Heheheh. I also love the ambiguity of "really rude bad stuff" hehehe. Not picky, are they?

Posted by: Zoot at August 12, 2004 09:11 AM

oh my god, that last one cracked me up!!!

Posted by: Jessica at August 12, 2004 09:13 AM

Is the venti squirrel mocha carb-friendly? Just askin....

Posted by: debby at August 12, 2004 09:18 AM

completely awesome. I now have no doubt that people get high and start googling. I can think of several people to fit the definitions of 'really rude bad stuff'. But not Mr. Cactus!

Posted by: samantha at August 12, 2004 09:19 AM

those are great LOL

Posted by: laura at August 12, 2004 09:22 AM

You should post that last one on Disturbing Search Results. = )

Posted by: LOUP at August 12, 2004 09:27 AM

The longest search string? Dude has WAYYY too much a) frustration, b) time, or c) all of the above.

Posted by: Beth at August 12, 2004 09:54 AM

it's like, dr. suess' idiot nephew

Posted by: type a at August 12, 2004 09:58 AM

The best part? The typo in the last one.

Yes, I'm a freak.

I'm all about Guinea Pig Lattes.

What? They eat 'em in South America, right, Chris?

Posted by: alektra at August 12, 2004 10:35 AM

And somehow that long ass search string got them to your site. Your plan is working, total search domination just ahead.

Posted by: Mike at August 12, 2004 10:42 AM

heh rudecactus is all about really rude bad stuff. i know.

Posted by: julie at August 12, 2004 10:53 AM

I think the bit about the midgets was enquiring as to the likelihood of little people having children who are also little people. Does that make sense? No? Anyway, that last search is hee-larious. The best part is the "fighting all night." It just makes me wonder: if that all went down at your house, why are you looking to the Internet for answers? Like, is there a pet advice site that tells you how to get cats and fish to be friends?

Posted by: Fraulein N at August 12, 2004 11:24 AM

squirrel venti mocha? hmm.. i wonder if they could make that into a blended creme frappaccino, since i don't like coffee ;)

Posted by: Manda at August 12, 2004 11:29 AM

Ha! Gary Larson called me a bitch once over the phone. For real, yo.

Posted by: Tara at August 12, 2004 12:27 PM

the cat would have won.

Posted by: minnow at August 12, 2004 05:53 PM

LOL! That's awesome. and I agree with minnow, the cat would've won.

Posted by: Ginny at August 12, 2004 06:19 PM

Oh my goodness....these made me laugh so hard!

Posted by: Nicole at August 12, 2004 09:04 PM

HAHAHA how funny!!! I have not had any cool search thingies like that... some people have all the luck lol :P

Posted by: mandy at August 12, 2004 09:59 PM

"mouth size. Its not the size, its how you use it." I'm not even going to comment. LOL :)

Posted by: Sweety at August 13, 2004 06:18 AM

I am now totally number six on the list of AOL searches for "underwater handstands". Ha! I only know that because someone searched for it. Usually searches for me are about recipes for granola. Or? "types of porn"...I get that one a lot. um. ew.

Posted by: Granola Spice at August 13, 2004 12:10 PM